Izzie...you deserve so much better than that!! That doesn't make it not hurt I know.....but just put your chin up and let yourself go through whatever in order to get him out of your system! You will find somebody who will respect you and the role of being a parent!

Izzie

I rarely get serious about things, but this one of the rare occasions. You need to get professional help right away. Do not let it get to the point it got for me. My testimony is somewhere in this forum. In it I tell about the break I had and what I almost did. Today I cannot even think about doing that again. I finally gave in to the experts and got the treatment I needed. In the process I found that I had more in life than I thought I had and more to give to life than I could. Please help yourself-help yourself.

Love BearsMan

Izzie - have you been to a doctor? Are you talking physical pain like some talk about fibromyalgia or the pain you feel when you are battling depression??? I wish I knew how to help, I would start with a trip to the doctor and she if they can help. Have you been sleeping okay? Lack of sleep makes you ache allover, you muscles don't get rest and they hurt. I hope you feel better soon Izzie, it is awful to hurt all the time.

Allen - good luck with the schooling, hard work but will pay off in the long run.

Bear - congratulation on the Deans list, what an accomplishment, that is awesome after what you have been through. You have come a LONG way.

Karen - I hope things are getting better. Damn jerks stealing the purse and all. Things have to start getting better soon.

My life has been in the toilet myself lately, with dad and the nursing home and all, finances suck, the nursing home had the guts to call the bank and tell them to cut off the loan payments coming out of dad's account. I am buying the house, but the financial papers are still in dad's name, I have not found refinancing yet and the bank was fine with me putting the money in dad's accont to make the payments. So, I got upset and asked "does that mean that throws me into foreclosure now?" Anyway, he gets good care down there, but the adminstration people are aszes. They take his social security and pension for his copay and leave him $53 a month to live on and welfare pays the rest, and whatever else he wants/needs I have to cover. Just gets really tiring dealing with all this BS all the time. Sorry for venting guys.

ive gotten help.. didnt work.. well im not suacidal sad.. just.... sad.. its emotional pain that you can feel...
fresh.. i kno i deserve better.. but why cant i find it?? im tired of being alone.. and tired of him being the one who screwed up my family.. and im the one who has to pay for it.. i kno that my *****ing isnt going to change anything.. im just tired of it all..


i know it will get better.. it has to right??? im jsut tired of waiting for it to get better.

Izzie - one thing that worked for me was support groups. They were great, I made some awesome friends who were going through the same thing I was. It helped to talk my feelings out with these women. I understand totally where you are coming from, my ex took off with other women after we separated/divorced and I was raising our daughter, no child support, no help, no nothing. He was out playing, I was working 2, sometimes 3 jobs to keep a roof over our head. It will get better, doesn't seem like it sometimes but it will. I really would recommend a support group if you can find one, or counseling to talk things out. It does take time to get over the hurt, even then things like this do come back and slap you in the face now and then, but with time the sting is less painful. It takes time to heal, give yourself time. Your life is getting better, just hard to see it. You have your beautiful babies and they have you. You are better off for being away from him. Seriously consider a support group or counseling, maybe a church group (I don't know if you go to church or not) but getting out around other adults is great for you, a much needed break I found, too. It takes time, and it will get better. But think about the support group, sorry, I sound like I am pushing it down your throat, but I am a firm believer in them. Take care.

Support Groups will help tremendously. Find the one that is specific to your problem and work their program. You get what you put in.

Wongo

I agree Bear. One of the first ones I went to after my divorce was a Battered Women's group. The best thing I ever did. It opened my eyes to the fact that there were other women going through what I had and they were being told the same things I had been, it was mind blowing to sit there and hear the stuff they were saying. I made some incredible friends there too. I needed to get out and meet people too after being isolated by him for those years, so the group helped in several ways.

I am a firm believer in groups. (Obviously, sorry.)

this seems like a great thing yall do, but one issue stands above the most. some people cant get the help they need. some have issues that need to be addressed and dont know how to go about it. or in my case, is scared to. my mind is a dark place, no matter what yall see, you never see the things that i see everytime i close my eyes. nightmares plauge my sleep. half the time im a shell of what i used to be. suicidel thoughts are always there. and i feel like can turn to no one. mostly cause no one knows what i have dealt with.
most of you guys know that im strong and i can take on almost anything. but being strong for everyone gets tiresome. and im exhausted. i feel like the world is on me constantly. every step i take foward i get thrown back about 20. im tired of being flat on my back and fighting to survive. its eating me alive and i am getting to where i cant take it anymore. what am i supposed to do? i dont have the money to go to a doctor. i cant go to the clinic and get help, i make too much money for that. but i dont make enough to have any doctor even begin to talk to me. its really hard being stuck between a rock and a boulder at all times.

The power of the dark side is strong with you, Thumper.

Check this out:

http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=your_local_NAMI&Template=/CustomSource/AffiliateFinder.cfm

Bearsman

thumper u are a good man that probably has a soft side that is inside u, you are very well liked and loved on this site, you can turn to any of us when ya have one of those dark days, God Bless ya!!!

(((((Thump))))) I know what you're talking about and have been in your position in the past, but usually there is a county facility.....they have a sliding scale program just for people like you and I. I have been going to the adult facility since I was 16 after I had my 1st baby. Off and on through out the years.
I know the fight you fight, and (((Dear Izzie)))Hon I'm in slightly the same position you are right now. My thoughts are dark and dreary and they think in my art class that my sculptures are for halloween. Little do they know........dark and scary places don't scare me anymore. I am a walking talking dark and scary place......
Keep fighting, email if you need to, ((((marie)))) you are going through so much. I'm sorry I haven't beent here for you. Sucks that the facility is trying so hard to sabatoge you. Why would they do that? Damn!

I have been ready to check out since I was 8 years old. Almost made it a few times. Don't know why my body hasn't given out on me. Taking some of these classes, you learn so much about what it does to have kids, the depressions, the hormones of aging and whatever else life thows at you, then in my case, three kids in three years, depression, sucide attempt that made me have stroke, heart attack, coma, but no organ damage, no problems from having the kids, normal things people go through. As far as the Dr's are concerned, I'm a multiple walking miricle and all I want to do is go to sleep. God will have none of it! Then I got Hep C. Did thier new treatment and they say I'm cured! Did a research paper on it this week. It is now being officially called a cure.
BAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Doesn't take away the darkness that has plauged me all my life. I just don't get it.

Where are all the good women at?

Ms Fire,

My brains was fried, if you know what I mean.

This is the best I have felt in a long, long, long, long, time!!

Flown over!

Ms Fire,

My brains was fried, if you know what I mean.

This is the best I have felt in a long, long, long, long, time!!

Flown over!

flown over the coo coo's nest? lol, j/k...

Creation U on Fire!!

I'm depressed right now

My on-again, off-again relationship is finally over (for good this time). I blocked her number, email, and MSN.

While the story is long, and even though it was on-again, off-again, it still is depressing. Just feels lonely, you know?

Bear, hahaha....yeah I'm on fire......are you?

Wiitard.........sorry to hear about your troubles. I soooooooo know what you are talking about. Have blocked someones number etc....so many times I can't remember. I know it is hard, but keep your mind busy and do not listen to love songs!

Noooooooooo! I need a light!!!!!

You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a liar
If I was to say to you
Girl, we couldn't get much higher
Come on baby, light my fire!
Come on baby, light my fire!
Try to set the night on fire!
Try to set the night on fire!
Try to set the night on fire!
Try to set the night on fire!!!!

I leave The Doors open.

GGGRRRRRRRRRRRR Bears Mon

Hey Witard,

There is a great love song you can listen to.

It by J Geils band, called,

LOVE STINKS.
I use it on occassion.

Bear