boy I must have been really tired n my last post. I guess what I was trying to say was......I'm glad you found our thread. I hope it helps even if just in a small way, thank you for your offer to listen as well as participate and either vent here or find someone you feel you can trust and email them. Sighhhhh. Sorry it was so jumbled. Takes more and more benedryl to get to sleep at night now.Also makes for wierd posts, LOL

Well I can't use benydrl as an excuse for my weird post! They're jus weyrdo. vcah adhj adoivhah aoiaho ckvaa/?


namsreaB

LOL, (((bear)))

Hey benadryl is safe to take (I hope) and yes it does make for wierd dreams.And your post made perfect sence, its mine I sometimes wonder if I make any sence. I think that is spelled wrong, if so OOPS. anyway Thank You once again for the forum. Right now I am losing income my life is just spinning down and out of control. No ins. and no sick pay. Well that is what happens when your self employed. So if you guys would keep a good yhought for me and those who wish to please keep me in your prayers.
Thank you Everyone on this Forum.
Dave

By the way whats with the fangs count crationsfire?

Awww... I got hugs, that so beautiful :-D

Just feeling a bit on the snappy side, whoohahahaha. The bite only hurts at first.

Of course you get hugs (((bear)))

Im so depressed I dont know what the problem is. Myabe its because my parents hate me and they tell me everyday how much im hated. They had me when when they were teenagers and everyday my mom tells me what a stupid mistakes she made and she almost had an abortion but somebody talked her out of it. Now she reminds me of it everyday that she should of had it. They adore my brother and obsess over him because he was a 'planned' baby they had after they married. I could go on forever and ever but I wanted to kill myself a few times but I can never do it,

I treasure both of my mistakes. They never call or write though. Must be hell on your mother when the abortion talks back. You must be like the proof of her mistake. I am sorry to hear what you are going through.

could use some prayer tonight
i got a job interview tomorrow and its the job i really really want... which is making me nervous

sign me up please

Hello Ehxsnohs, or from now on called by me as GChild (the G stand for God).

I ain't a religious nut, but I find Jesus' words have truth in them. One of the methods we use in AA to deal with people that frustrate of irritate us is to pray for them. Sounds strange till you try it. Anyway, they get from the following parable that Jesus taught with:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[2] and hate your enemy.’44But I tell you: Love your enemies[3] and pray for those who persecute you,45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.
46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?47And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.


So next time mom say your a mistake, tell God don't make no junk!! Then, turn the other cheek.

BE.

Ehxsnohs - so sorry to hear how your mom treats you, that is awful. (But I do like Hill's comeback, about the "abortion talking back" - good one.) Mom's can be our greatest supports and our worst enemies at times. I would tell you to do what you can to block out her hurtful words and put up some kind of wall against the hurt. You don't deserve that pain, you did nothing wrong, she is totally out of line for treating you that way. I understand totally how you feel though, as my parents treated my middle brother and I similarly, didn't say "those" words, but definitely spoiled the baby brother and treated my middle brother and I like we were "kick dogs." If you live at home, would be hard to get away from them, but if you are on your own, I would definitely distance yourself from her and only visit on occasion, when you are in the mood and sure you are not going to be the recipient of her nastiness. You are a good person and don't deserve to be treated like this at all. If you do live at home, it will be much harder to get away from her nastiness, confrontation will only make it worse, I would try to ignore her and the words, walk away every time she says them. I don't know if that will work or not, but might help. I would also suggest some counseling to help deal with the pain, your mom needs it more than you do, but a counselor can give you advice on how to deal with her behavior and not internalize it, and maybe some tricks to make her stop or slow down her behavior. Hope these ideas help some. Don't let her make you feel bad for her mistakes, you did nothing wrong.

Jeff - good luck on your interview tomorrow. Everyone is nervous before a job interview, but you have the knowledge and the skills, and you can get the job. Good luck and our thoughts are with you.

Twin - what's going on?? Are you saying you are depressed?? Everyone is welcome in this thread and we support everyone who asks. You are always welcome to e-mail anyone you feel comfortable with too. I hope things are going well for you, or will be getting better really soon. Take care.


Dave - Sorry to hear what is going with you. Being self-employed and not having medical insurance is hard. Benadryl is a pretty safe medicine, an antihistamine and people use it for sleep. We will keep you in our thoughts, wish there was more we could do. Any chance you can find a part-time job doing something else to help fill in what you are losing?? Just a thought. I know things are hard all over and jobs are getting scarce, but just a thought. Does your area have a sliding fee scale at your medical clinics or hospital, and mental health clinics?? Most mental health clinics have them as they have some federal grant money, and can adjust the fees according to a person's income. Also, if you don't have much income, the drug companies now have "needy meds programs" where you can get your drugs for free or almost free straight from the drug companies, but you need to sign up through your doctors office, so check with your doctor's office about this program if you are on meds and need some, also about the sliding fee scale. I wish I knew of something else to help. Take care of yourself.

((((((((((((((Marie)))))))))))))))))

You are wonderful!

interview went good. tad nervous cause im the first person interviewing for it and i want ti bad. but it now just falls on the grace of god and those who interviewed me

Jeff,

My Gods grace rain on you for the best.

B

jeff have my fingers and toes crossed for ya...

Today was fun, hung out with friends, played Magic the Gathering, got off work at a pretty good hour, but i was mostly on auto pilot. Inside i kept fighting myself, over whether I'm ready to love someone yet, or if I can take care of a cat, and as always money troubles. It just feels like I'm running circles and always ending up where I started. After doing this for 25 years i'm ready to give up. Instead of running around, i want to just sit there in the dirt and say "fark" to the world, the same world that never accepted me in the first place. These scars are proof of all the interal fights I've gone thru, and new ones popped up tonight. Am I so weak that I can't even beat myself, the person who cries if he sees a cat being kicked? I want to move on but I keep getting lost, or run head first into a wall. I can't find the right way anymore, its always back to the starting gate to try again, and to fail again, and come back and do it all over.