I would love to go to a WA group but I don't know if I could get time off from work for it and there aren't any around here so I don't know how many overtime hours I would have to put in to find and attend one. Oh ok. I will admit it I am sick.

I'm really glad that people are taking advantage of this thread and that it is helping people. I wish I could be here more, but sched is tight. Most of the time I'm so tired and depressed, all I want to do is dissappear into nothing. After this last meltdown, hell....live day to day now. Anyway, I didn't write to complain, just say that I hope this keeps up, that people get something good out of helping each other and thank you Marie for keeping up with all this. Love Ya Tons!

Hang in there Karen, I know how hard it is. You get a winter break coming up from school around the holidays don't you??? That should give you a chance to rest and recharge your batteries some. I still think it is great that you are going to school and accomplishing all that you are right now, and hanging in there even with the added stress. You are doing a great job!!!

Hillfolk - I like the way you think!! Good one.

It can become overwhelming at times to deal with depression. Just remember that it can be curable if it treated proberly. I run a psych clinic and the doc have rubbed off. You are heading in the right direction. Without you knowing it something triggers a mechanisim in your brain and causes the brain juices to go haywire. Stay on task going in the right direction will get you there. I see it everyday mostly in children. Alot brought on by enviroment of life, or gene pool from family. Keep it up and you will get there.

Alright, I'm saying its time to start and make a change. Please go to the joke forum and read a couple of funnies. If it look like its gonna be detrimental, move on to the next. I started to get a little down, just a little, and I decided to take a walk. It started to rain, so I waited a little, in the meantime there was a mosquito fest goin on my skinny white legs. It finally lightened up a bit and I went ahead and did a couple of laps around the block. Got back it the house, cleaned up the mosquito mess with witch hazel. Done. Feel good!

Have a laugh! (:~D}

Sounds like you have a good handle on things Bear, good work. Sorry about the mosquitoes, those buzzards think I am the blue plate special whenever I am around. Have avoided them so far this year, maybe I got lucky since it is almost winter.

I am glad things are going so well for you. Take care.

YOU!

Hey, me again...everyone's favorite failure. I'm on the thin line of losing my job because I've started calling in too much again, and I just seem to be inching ever closer toward that line. There are just days that I can't get out of bed, where my body is like "no way" and I just lay there wishing to disappear because I can't face the day and all the B.S. I have to put up with daily. I hate my job, but I need it to keep my apartment. I just feel totally stuck in quicksand, and no matter what I do I can't get out, it just seems to pull me in faster. I dunno what to do anymore.

i suffer from depression

Me 2

Hello Cloudy Damit,

I posted a letter in this thread about what happened to me not too long ago. No, its not all the scars on my head, thats a different story.

Look back to see "what occurred after my breakdown". Ask your friends, some family member, a crisis center, mental health clinic for help. There is someone out there that cares about what you are going through, other than those of us on this forum. We can only make suggestions, or tell what we did to improve on mental well being. We did it, tell me you can, too. Tell me! Tell me!

"He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds."

You came here looking for something, don't give up!!

allen its hard to get out of bed when you hate your job so get a new one or look into educational oppurtunities to better your chances.your young,single and have no children.perfect time to explore new avenues.you took a big step moving out now its time to take more steps .

Allen, I agree with Cute and Bear. You need your job right now to keep your apartment, but there is nothing stopping you from looking for a better/different one. Or, if you want to go to school, check into that and grants, etc. Did you ever follow-through with talking to your doctor?? There are meds that can help you get over this bump in the road and it doesn't mean lifelong meds, just something to help you keep going, to get through the rough spots. Sometimes you have to try more than one med, sometimes you have to try 3 or 4 different ones before you find a fit. But counseling can be a real answer for you. If you can't afford a Psych or counselor, there are groups out there for free, check your paper, a local mental health agency, they have lists of groups that you can attend for free or next to nothing. You have to make the first move, but once you make those first steps, you will feel so much better, you will not believe you waited so long. I have been to lots of different groups in the past. One of the best was a Battered Women's Group, I went shortly after getting out of my marriage, it really opened my eyes as to what I had been through in my marriage, explained the process, and I made friends who had been through the same thing. I really think you need to talk to someone, either a professional counselor, or go to a group, but I would start with your doctor and see if you need some med just to get you through this rough spot. You need to take the steps, no one can do it for you. Please take those steps Allen. Take care.

Penny and D24 - welcome to the site and this thread. There are a lot of us on here. Lots of good people on this site. I hope things are going well for you.

People come here when they are looking for support and having a hard time. And to post success stories like Bear.

I am glad you found the thread, and feel free to post whenever you want. (Heck, I feel like the "Welcome Wagon.")
Sorry, not making fun of this thread, it is an important place and we all use it, and support each other. Take care and have a great weekend.

Feel free to e-mail any of us (guess I am speaking out of turn for some of us - but I know Creationsfire has made that offer too, and I think I read that in Bears thread above) but most of us are happy to talk to anyone who is needing someone to talk to.

I hope atleast it beats working at McDonalds like you use to, Allen. I hope it was an improvement, anyways.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYzTmfV_uPk

I hope it gets better for you, Allen.

Sure thing Marie, and I am grateful that you are the welcome that people get when they decide to write. I know you have helped me so very much and I was the one who started this whole thing. You have been the glue that binds it together, especially after my meltdown. Love YA!

Hey everyone, welcome and (((((Damnit))))I'm so glad to see you posting. It means something to everyone when we reach out like we are doing. I'm so sorry you are in the hole so to speak, but please try to let things out like you are and remember that it can take a turn for the better.

I know I'm not one to speak but I do have college and a lil work on the UT, but when I'm here at home, I feel the same as you. Trying to make myself crack a book is torture!!! I have a test tomorrow and I am no where near ready. AND I had my purse stolen out of my backpack last night.

Discovered it was gone today nad spent the day getting it back and cancelling all my cards and replacing them and notifying all who need to know and red flag all my info......the only thing they took was my SSI card and my bank card. LOLOL....they can't use the card. It is over drawn and they have no id or pin # cuz they were too stupid to take my DL, hahahha......stupid kids.

(((Damnit))) wish I were there to give you a giant hug. I know I can use one too. I know you don't want to hear this, but set an alarm to wake you up, then set the snooze for several times. It is irritating but works for me.

I'm too pissed off at the alarm to go back to bed. Another trick is once you are up, pick just one thing you choose that you MUST do everyday....can be anything. Brush your teeth, make coffee, pick out your clothes the night before, just work yourself into some kind of routine.......

It may take a little while and sometimes you will not do it or just plain refuse to do it, but do it as soon as you remember again. I know this is long. I hate being out in the world too. Life is a struggle and being the way we are doesn't make it any easier. But we have the strength to get through our days one by one. Every day we survive is a succes and every day we have a bad IS NOT A DEFEAT.......it is a way to cope and as long as we aren't in bed 24/7 or hurting others, we are on the right track.

I really want to say again, welcome to the site and I do hope that people who participate will just right in if they see someone else in need.

HUGGERS, to you all!

I hope this gets posted. I have never wriiten beofre but i ned answers, i need something....most desparate HELP!

my ex-fiance tried to commited suicide last week. We broke up 3 weeks ago here is my desparate need for answers. Please don't judge....

our relationship was not healthy....he cheated many times (internet), almost got me kicked out of school, left me stranded on the freeway at night, ended up getting me 10,000 into debt, has allowed his friends to verbally abuse me and lastly got me kicked out of my new apartment the first day of moving in (had more then one cat and he refused to hide them before the apt. people came to fix the washer.) at that time was returning u-haul. Has lied everyday about something last week telling me the lady's number on his cell was to his lawyer. I knew this couldn't be true as it was an out of state number. Later he confessed after I saw his email from her.

so here is my problem.....I went to visit him in the hospital 2 days ago and he wanted to use my address to get disability but he lives in a different state. When i refused, the social worker tried to get my address and I told him i was not going to be apart of any fraud and he was not to use my address. After that i felt like my guts were ripped out I was in tears that even in my X's moment of so called despair he is manipulating people to get what he wants and most of all trying to get me involved with one of his scams.

It hurts to much to see or talk to him and I can't handle this anymore. I was severly depressed yesterday. He just texted me saying he was sorry and talking about how his friend is going to kick him out if he thinks of suicide while living with him. He is the type to kill himself but i am in such deep emotional pain and shock that i can't deal with this and my job is suffering my health is suffering and i don't know what to do. I haven't texted back cuz i feel sick to my stomach with all that he has done....help any suggeestions PLS! This is way above my head. His family doesnt want to deal with him because he has done the same to them.

Cicey, I would suggest that you be strong and get away from him, he knows your weaknesses and exploits them to get what he wants. You need to stop worrying about him, and worry about yourself, and what's best for you.

I hope you have friends and family you can talk to to help you get through this.

Also keep in mind that there's nothing wrong with talking to a professional about things, they can also help you, if you need to talk to someone.

Cicey - I would recommend you talk to your doctor or a counselor. Your ex is one master manipulator. Whether he will or will NOT commit suicide is not in your hands and not up to you. My daughter attempted suicide at 11 over not wanting to go to school. She was hospitalized for 4 weeks in a psych ward in a children's hospital, the pscyhiatrist told me then that if she had decided to kill herself that I could hand cuff myself to her 24 hours a day and she would still find a way. You need to break free of this guy, he is dragging you down and destroying your life, financially, emotionally and soon physically. You have no control over what he does, it sounds like this is the way he has lived his life for a long time, through control and manipulation of other people, that is not saying anything against you, I am sure you loved him, people like this are masters of the game, even sucking in the social worker. These people are the best of the best when it comes to conning. You need to take care of you, and I think you need to seek counseling for yourself to help you get over what you have been through. You have been through what in reality was emotional abuse by this guy, I don't know if he ever hit you or not, but he certainly did pull head trips on you to control you. I would recommend counseling, and go to your doctor and talk to them, see if they recommend any kind of med to help you through this rough time. They also know the counselors in the area and may know the best fit for you. There are Crisis lines that have 800 numbers you can get through your phone book I think, or call your hospital emergency room, they would certainly have the numbers for you. These numbers are 24 hours a day and you can call them right now if you want. If you feel really fragile and need some help to get through the night, you could even go to the emergency room and talk to them and they could help you line something/someone up. I don't know if you have family you can talk to or friends, but they are good to lean on now, but try calling the Crisis line and see if they can help you. Having an objective trained listener on the other end is helpful. I would NOT text him back and would do everything I could to break it off with him. He will fight you leaving him and use threats of suicide I'm sure, that sounds like his style. Again, I think you need support now, so reach out to whoever you can, but I do think you need someone professional to back you up at this time and not let him drag you down. I hope you don't think I am being too harsh on him, but I see him as being extremely detrimental to you, your health, your well-being, your mental health especially. You are a smart woman and deserve to be treated so much better. Please take care of yourself.