totage, ty for your response...I really need to here what my heart already has been telling me. i don't have any friends or family here. they are all in another state. so it has been tough and I am trying desparately to get back with good people so i can move on from this without seeing him again.

You are right, he knows my weaknesses. Again ty 4 your comment i needed to hear that and know that someone cares enough to say something to help me.

You sound like a wise person with a good heart.

marie ty and no you are not being harsh at all. I have not talked to ANYONE for a year until now. I just broke down yesterday. I was so desparate that i called every hotline and looked in the yellow pages. I did manage to get an appointment next week. After getting his texts not long ago i am filled with tremendous anxiety (which i did not have prior to meeting him). I cant say ty enough for your words because i need to get through this night so i can live again and breath without him emotionally crippling me.

i need to hear from someone because i feel so alone right now. it is hard for me to ask for help but i have truly reached a breaking point.

yes, he is the worst manipulator i have ever met. i enjoy men and love being in a relationship sharing my life but some how i allowed this very negative person in my life. I will have to examine that at a later time. I am not trying to be a burden to anyone but pls i just need support for the next week or two until i have my meeting with the counselor next week. I am alone here and i think that is in part why he was able to do what he did. Isolation.

SRY about spelling i am upset.

Cicey,

Totage and Marie are right about seeking professional help. The emotional stress you have had to endure should not be taken lightly. With all the inner strength you have left move forward and away from this depressing situation. Many excellent suggestions can be found throughout this thread. You have already made the first step, you have an unmanageable problem and you need help overcoming it. In sharing ourselves with others we get a bit of reprieve from our troubles.

May the "force" be with you.
"He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds."
Bear

Cicey - have you called the Domestic Violence people? You suffered emotional abuse, that is still abuse, and I bet they would hook you up with someone to talk to sooner than next week. Also, have you checked your local paper for groups?? There may be some listed that you could go to, maybe even Al-Anon, he wouldn't have to be an alcoholic, but he was definitely an addictive-type personality and they may be able to give you some help on dealing with that type of personality and how to break free of his type of behavior. This would be a good way for you to make new friends too. I have been to different groups over the years and met some incredible people and made wonderful friends who were very supportive. Just a thought.

I am on here in the evenings and in and out during the weekends but check in and out during the days on the weekend and would like to talk to you when I am on here. I know how lonely it is when you first breakup. I was married to a violent alcoholic and know how hard it is to try to find your feet when you first get away from them and start your life over. Seriously, I would try one of the groups I suggested above, I would bet they would have help for you. Take care of yourself.

and i fell for it again!!! you would think i would learn.. but i never do.. i fell for it again...

(((izzie)))

ty...

I fight depression as well. I just wanted to tell all of you thank you for the support you offer on here. You are all awesome people.

ty bear and marie....your advice is welcomed. I nver knew there were so many help organizations. and places to turn. I really, really would like to talk to someone sooner then next week so i will findout about the things you suggested. Marie i just wanted to double check..you were saying to go to AA for my sake or to learn more about my x's behavior or both?? I think it is something i will look into this weekdend.

I feel sick to my stomach because i wish i knew about this sooner because the responses are making me see more clearly with what i need to do. It is sometimes hard to break free from the abuse when you dont have it pointed out to you!!! I am discusted with him and myself for letting it get this far. does

do antidepressants help with things like this??

Sorry to hear that Izzie. Hang in there, you are a great woman and will meet the right guy, just takes time. Just wish it wasn't so painful.

ty marie.. me too, me too...

bear, it was because of reading soooooo many of others peoples stories that gave me the courage to write. lots of good advice and knowing you arent alone makes a difference......ty bear

Cicey - I was suggesting Al-Anon as a possibility for dealing with someone with addictive behavior. He has abusive/addictive behavior, he didn't use alcohol that you stated but did use people and you, similar traits was what I was thinking. And domestic violence, emotional abuse is abuse, he didn't have to hit you to abuse you, he abused you emotionally, controlled you with his threats of suicide and so on. That is why I suggested DV, threatening to kill himself if you leave, etc. That is abusive/addictive type behavior. Those were a couple of groups I thought of that deal with those behaviors. Al-Anon likely has a phone number in the book or information, and you could probably call them and talk to someone about it, but I bet they would welcome you. And DV likely too. DV is "iffy" as they are used to women being beaten and getting them emergency housing, etc., but if you explain your situation and that you want someone to talk to, some counseling, I would think they could help you with someone to talk to. If he keeps texting you, you could also change your number, that is another thought. Hang in there, it will get better with time.

Cicey - sorry, yes antidepressants can help you through the rough times. They will help you sleep at night, can help relieve the anxiety you may be feeling and depression you may be feeling now. They can also help you clear your head so you can think more clearly. That is why I suggested seeing your doctor. Sometimes you have to try 1 or 2 or even 3 different ones to get a good fit, but when you find the right one, it is like a light switch went on and things just feel so much better. And they are only a temporary fix for most people, usually a few months until you are through the rough times. If someone has a chronic depression, then they need them long term, but for a situational type depression they tend to be a shorter term need.

ty marie, i will look into the AA tomorrow. I would have nver thought of it but u r right he has a very addictive behavior and now that i think about it he has made several references to it. You must of really dealt with a lot of things in your life some of which u mentioned. but you have so much info to share.

After the few responses i am feeling better and hopfully because at leaast i have info and places to start.

I hope all is well with you....

ps- i think at this point i am going to look into antidepressants. are there any that you have heard of that may be good to try. ??

Cicey - One of the most popular right now is Lexapro, seems to be one of the first ones the doctors try (I am a medical transcriptionist so I type doctors notes all day long), Effexor is another, Celexa is the generic of Lexapro and some insurances want them to prescribe generics instead of name brand. Cymbalta is newer and helps for people dealing with chronic pain like fibromyalgia, so your doctor will be the one to make the decision.

I am glad you are looking into these things. I have been around the block, spent 10 years getting beat up in my so-called marriage. I have been to several different groups over the years and learned a lot from them and am a firm believer (as you can tell) - guess I sound like a "group pusher" from my notes above, but I do believe in the power of the group and support you get from the people in the group. They are going through the same thing you are and they can help you more than you can ever imagine. I do believe in counseling and meds when you need them too. I am glad you are moving forward with these steps, you need to be the one to take them, and you will feel so much better once you do. You could go to an Urgent Care Clinic this weekend if there is one in your area to talk to a doctor if you need to before next week. Hang in there, it does get better with time. You are strong, I can read it in your notes. It is always amazing to get out of a relationship like this and look back and think "what in the world was I thinking?" But just look forward and keep moving forward. You will make it. Take care.

hhuusshhuussuuusshhhhuuusssuuuussshhhhuuu......
Don't underestimate the power of the "Effexor"
....hhuusshhuussuuusshhhhuuusssuuuussshhhhuuu....

[B<=]

lol...bear have u tried effexor? I have never heard of these drugs except prozac/lexapro...I wish i had some right now!

Cicey - you could try an Urgent Care Clinic or even and Emergency Room. I don't know what is available in your area on weekends. I doubt your doctor would prescribe anything like this over a telephone, unless they know you very well and you have a good relationship with them, they are going to want to talk to you and evaluate you. Try one of these places and see if one of the docs there can help you out. Hope you are feeling a little better today. Take care.

Creations - you are an awesome person, you go through more in one day than I can even imagine and still keep your head above water. I truly admire you for taking on college and all that you are doing in your life, don't sell yourself short girl. It is hard to see the good when you are stuck in the middle of all this chaos called life, and you do so much with your school and work and all, it is amazing all that you do.

I am so sorry that some jerk stole your purse, that is just awful, I know how hard things are. I hope things get better soon. Hopefully over the winter break you will get a chance to recharge your batteries. Heck with all you do girl, you would make the Energizer Bunny jealous. Take care and give yourself a pat on the back for all that you do.