God, I haven't heard that song is sooooo long. I remember when it first came out.....we laughed our asses off. Good song.

Wiitard, I can relate with that. After unblocking her for the fourth time and her telling me that I still didn't get it I finally just admitted, "You know you are right I still don't get it." A nurse friend finally located me some size 13 and a half crocs in Branson, Missouri that she has searched to get me for two months. She had to specially order them. Then she asked me if there was anything that I wanted for Christmas. I am thinking of asking her to get me some kneepads because I grovel a lot. "I am sorry, master."

She slowly enters the door,
only because she had been here before,
someone inside here,
called, Creationsfire,
had help her, when her life was wired.

the words you spoken
to me way back when
well, you needed to know
you helped my heart mend

if it wasn't for your, home touch
you sense of compassion, meant so much
it took me by surprise,
you care was my prize

so today I stand here
with your gentle tone so near
I wanted to say, many thanks, my dear
the essences you have
is not like no other
a one on one word
just like a mother

Your gift is here
Upon your thread
adhering to these pages
going on and on with the faces
those souls your helping
their fears you are melting

So all I am here to say
I hold a cheer to you today.

Hugs...alway's even
you've forgotten
so many faces how
would you remember...

Wow ((((Noden)))) I'm so honored. You are very sweet and have definately put a warmth in my heart that I so truely needed tonight.

Hugs!!!!!

Creationsfire, you are honnored
all around you are people who
so desperately need your help
but it was nice to see you remembered me.



may I add you again on list of friends...

Fire Girl,

Lay your weary head to rest, don't you cry no more.....

Be.

hi guys.i have been staying away from the computer as much as possible.i have had to have my meds adjusted because i broke thru them..I get no sleep at night and I am being a real ***** to my son and people lately.I feel so overwhelmed.Will I ever see the day when I have peace of mind?

I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination.
However, I have had the same experiences as you have.
Please go back and read my testimony at mime attempt at suicide.
Since my release, I have only one episode of depression. Today, thanks to my God, family, friends and the medical staff at the mental health facility, I feel at peace, calm, hopeful. I feel good, like didn't know that I would, now!! So good, ** so good, I love you. You may need to consult your psychiatrist about the treatment I received. You can look up the pros and cons on the internet.

Good luck and peace to you!

Bear

Today my depression has hit an all-time high.
Life just doesn't matter to me anymore.
At least two times a week since my dad died I have been harassed by my uncles SOB scumbag of a friend and today was the last straw.
It is slowly killing me.

2 months ago to the day (tomorrow) my uncles friend came on to my property and took a car that my father adored -an 85' cutlass.
It was a crappy car but my dad LOVED it and refused to junk it because he felt it suited him.
When the car was fixed up a little he registered it under his business because he used it to transport mentally challenged men from the business to the work place and in order for them to be covered in an accident it had to be registered that way...soo when he died they came and took it with everything inside...and lied to us.

Today I was sitting on my porch getting ready for a walk and the friend drove it past.
My heart skipped several beats and I could not breathe.
For a second I thought it was my dad.
Then he stared me down and laughed as he saw my facial expression.

The liars took the car, lied about junking it and probably threw all of my dads sentimental things away.
I know I shouldnt worry but they harass me day and night.
They get joy out of harassing me the most when its close to my dads date of death.
It's not fair.
Every morning I wake up and for a few seconds things seem normal, then I realize my dad is dead and his family hates me.

People try to break into my home, they harass me through the mail and they threaten my family.

Everyone tells me that they will get their day but they are as happy as freakin clams while I contemplate my life.

I can't take it anymore. I really can't.
I wish they could be hurt as badly as they hurt me.

I'm such a mess :(

That is a horrendous thing you are going through. So much pain and then the reality of the passing. I pray that the comforter be with you in your time of need. Just know that you are not alone and are loved. (((Ohhhitsyou)))

(((ohits)))What you're going through would put anyone under extreme stress. I wish I could be hereto confort you, but I can only write to say I know your pain and I sincerely hope you will soon realize that if they continue that you have the right to report them and they will not be able to contact you. Seems they are sick and twisted people and believe me, Karma has it's way with people like that. It never fails. It may take years, but what comes around goes around. I firmly believe that. I have seen it time and time again.

I know that God will keep you safe and I wish you would contact soemone for counceling. They might have more suggestions on your legal rights and or how to cope with all of this. You are thought of here Hon, and I will keep you in my prayers......

((((cute)))) glad to see you posting agian. I hope that you are getting used to the meds again. I just hate it when they mess with my meds, even when I know thats what needs to be done. Throws my whole life upside down.

I am in a dark place still, but afraid to tell anyone here for fear of them changing my meds again and or taking me to the 5150 hotel.

HUGS!!!!!!!!!

Karen

It is you. I don't know your situation, but you may have to action. You may have to move away. These people know your weakness and they exploit it because of their need to be superior. It may sound weird, but try praying for them.
I usually say, God, these people are hurtful, please give them what they need, give them what they deserve. Amen.

Bear

Im not as well off as I let on.

thanx bear and karen.i feel much better now.
itisyou i would document everything and back it up with a police report.then i would drag their ass on judge judy or any public judge show and publically humilate them.Any creep exposed to light disenagrates.Please, as stressed out as sick folk can make you don't give them the satisfaction of ending your existence.Evry dog has its day!!

Thanks guys, I just needed to get that off of my chest because its kinda hard keeping it all in and my mom has her own problems, if I complain to her and let her know how much this affects me it will just get her even more upset and I would hate for anything to happen to her.

I have documented a lot of it and I've let my lawyer know, the sad thing is my dads dad & my father were amazingly respected police officers in my area and if I try to do something about all of this they brush me off because they are afraid of upsetting my grandparents.
I reported the car stolen 2 months ago and the police officer I talked to asked to speak to my mother...I am soon to be 21, thats just pathetic.

I have talked to some people but we are at wits end with my doctors office over my dads medical records (they aren't releasing them or even letting me see them) so I have to find a new physician. On my last visit I told him how depressed I was and he put me on Remeron which knocked me out for two days.

Thanks for all the support though, you guys are all awesome and I wish you all the best.
*many many many hugs*

glad you all feel better. It is always good to get things off your chest and have an objective and supportive oppinon from people who care. Hope things get better and know that our e-mail boxes are open if you should want to rant out of the public forum.

Hi I just bumped into this forum, and ,well I sometimes feel depressed to the extremes. i am a Nam survivor, the only one from my team. And everyday I fight the urge to blow my brains out. Yes radio people hurt to, We just know how to hide it. Anyway I hope you don't mind me joining in. I won't say that IU have any answers but I am willing to listen.
Dave

welcome wcx, my step dad and his brother are nam survivors as well. They never talk about it but I suspect they are each others support. I cant imagine the sorrows of what you must have seen and gone through, but Im sure you probably have PTSD. I can identify with you on the depression and the PTSD. Have had it all my life. Im sorry you are feeling bad. Im glad you found our little thread.
No one claims they have any answers but we do try very hard to be supportive, and welcome you offer to do so as well. Please dont do yourself any harm. I know it is terribly hard not to think about it and or get the thought out of your head, but I sincerely hop ethat you wont do yourself harm.
Do you have a Dr you can go to? Or a support group or family member to help support you? If not you might try it? Sometimes it can help. Or just purging/venting here in this thread helps me. Maybe it can help you and if you find a person you can trust, just e-mail if you want to vent but not here in public.......welcome again.

Thank you creationfire, I will keep that in mind about your e-mail. It is hard right now work is practically nonexistint, and being self employed it is hard. I am just struggling to keep going from day to day, and what is hard is when I am on the air. There are so many lonely people who call in to say that I help them through there mornings with my voice and music. And when I hang up I just want to craql away and die. It is so hard to keep upbeat like that when you hear some of there sad stories, they are heartbreaking. And you just wish you could do something for them.
No I don't belong to any group or Dr. becuase I just have a very hard time verballizing what i feel. And have been taught to keep it inside, so I don;t tell anyone. Sorry for my venting I will talk with you later.
Thank You for starting this forum.
Dave