good mornin'(((((Sprite)))))) & ((((grammy))))
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Topic:
Stocking Stuffers A, B, C ;)
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Little brunette in black lace.......
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Topic:
hunting
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I dont hunt....2 cold I like more of indoor sports like pool & ladies......or ladies on the pooltable......
And besides tere's that O'dark early thing too.... |
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gonna be damn cold 2night.........
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Topic:
Questioning reality.
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If I couldn't tell , then they wouldn't be......simple ......nope....
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present ......here.......
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Topic:
The Death of Common Sense
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The Death of Common Sense
An Obituary printed in the London Times. Interesting and sadly true. 'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, 'Common Sense', who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouth wash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility, his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights; I Want It Now; Someone Else Is To Blame; I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing. |
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Topic:
Indian Student
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>It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.
> > > >The teacher said, > > > >"Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?" > > > >She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said. > > > >'Very good!' > > > >Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?' > > > >Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. 'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar. > > > >The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.' > > > >She heard a loud whisper: 'F*ck the Indians,' > > > >'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. > > > >'General Custer, 1862.' > > > >At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.' > > > >The teacher glares around and asks 'All right! Now, who said that?' > > > >Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.' > > > >Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!' > > > >Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher , 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!' > > > >Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little ****. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.' > > > >Chandrasekhar frantically y el ls at the top of his voice, ' Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him- 2004.' > > > >The teacher fainted. > > > >And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh sh!t, we're screwed!' > > > >And Chandrasekhar said quietlly, "I think it was the American people, November 4, 2008." |
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Things you can only say at Thanksgiving!
1.Talk about a huge breast! 2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 3.It's Cool Whip time! 4.If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst! 5.Whew, that's one terrific spread! 6. I'm in the mood for dark meat. 7.Are you ready for seconds yet? 8.It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it? 9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some. 10. Don't play with your meat. 11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in. 12.Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once? 13.I didn't expect everyone to come at once! 14. You still have a little bit on your chin. 15.How long will it take after you stick it in? 16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up. 17.Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that! 18.That's the biggest one I've ever seen! 19.How long do I beat it before it's ready? Hope ya'll had a Happy Thanksgiving!!! |
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Topic:
Stocking Stuffers A, B, C ;)
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Qiche.......
served by a lady in black lace...... |
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Topic:
Now that's Canadian!!
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Sitting together on a train, traveling through the Canadian Rockies, were an American guy, a Canadian guy, a little old Greek lady, and a young blonde girl with large breasts. The Train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, the American has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one speaks. The old Greek lady thinks: The American guy must have groped the blonde in the dark and she slapped his cheek. The blonde girl thinks: That American guy must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped his cheek. The American thinks: The Canadian guy must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead. The Canadian thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, just so I can smack the American again.Now THAT'S Canadian!!!> |
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Topic:
Stocking Stuffers A, B, C ;)
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mittens (dc...your stockings must be really big to fit all the women you want ) yepper , but figure outa all those there's gotta be a good one somewhere .......like a box of chocalates...... ask Forrest....... |
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Topic:
Stocking Stuffers A, B, C ;)
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u know that stuff that starts w/L...........shoot the black lace stuff........
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Topic:
Stocking Stuffers A, B, C ;)
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jug of corn..........
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Topic:
Things you may not know
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You may not know that many lifelesss things have a gender.
For example: 1. Ziploc Bags -- They are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. 2. Copiers -- They are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed. 3. Tire -- Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated. 4.. Hot Air Balloon -- Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part. 5. Sponges -- Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water. 6. Web Page -- Female, because it's always getting hit on. 7. Subway -- Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick up people. 8. Hourglass -- Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom. 9. Hammer -- Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around. 10. Remote Control -- Female..... Ha! You thought it'd be male. But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying. |
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Topic:
Stocking Stuffers A, B, C ;)
Edited by
dcrdnk
on
Sat 11/29/08 02:32 PM
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gals ......in black lace.....
damn am I playin this game by myself....... where's my sprite ....we'll paint the friggin walls....... |
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Topic:
THE THREE LITTLE PIGS
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Heyy dcr.. I love ur jokes... Thank you darin ...that's what I'm here for...... |
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Topic:
Stocking Stuffers A, B, C ;)
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Females........in black lace
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Topic:
Stocking Stuffers A, B, C ;)
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Elasticized garters... ooooooooooo black lace 1s sprite???? (((((((((((sprite darlin'))))))))))) |
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Topic:
Stocking Stuffers A, B, C ;)
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Dames ...........in black lace.....
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