The Death of Common Sense

An Obituary printed in the London Times.
Interesting and sadly true.

'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved
old friend, 'Common Sense', who has been
with us for many years. No one knows for
sure how old he was, since his birth records
were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated
such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't
always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial
policies (don't spend more than you can earn)
and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when
well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were
set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged
with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
teens suspended from school for using mouth
wash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened
his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents
attacked teachers for doing the job that they
themselves had failed to do in disciplining
their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were
required to get parental consent to administer
sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could
not inform parents when a student became
pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the
churches became businesses; and criminals
received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you
couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your
own home and the burglar could sue you
for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live,
after a woman failed to realise that a steaming
cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her
lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his
parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion,
his daughter, Responsibility, his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights; I Want It Now; Someone Else
Is To Blame; I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few
realised he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join
the majority and do nothing.

Was that by Thomas Payne or Paine or something?