Well It's Thanksgivin again, so this year I thought I'd do somthin' different... I got up at O'dark early to go turkey huntin like my forfathers (althogh not really a hunter).. I had bought the latest gun & gear with all the camo that goes with it.., so I set out on this cold rainy morn in search of this illusive bird... After a couple hrs or more in this damn weather (freezin my arzz off) I was bout ready to give up, when all of a sudden I spotted them.. I very stealthly creeped up on'm so to get a good shot...musta been a a hunderd or more... I saw this big fat tom & carefully took aim & fired 2 maybe 3 rounds... I am sure I got him , when all of a sudden I was pounced on by 2 well armed gentlemen .... & handcuffed & taken away.. Who knew that discharging a firearm in Wal-Mart frozen meat department was illegal..

Happy Thanksgivin may it be a Blessed 1

Happy Thanksgivin may it be a Blessed 1

cool shades

I find that now days it's the women who talk bout sex more...

I have known couples who have & they've been together for yrs..

probly smells good

Lookin to meet a lady in these areas..I am single .. 59 yr old Native male..

The value of a # 2 pencil



YOU WILL LAUGH OUT LOUD!! AND THEN YOU WILL FORWARD TO EVERYONE WITH THAT
BIG OLE' SMILE ON YOUR FACE!!

The value of a
Catholic education and a #2 pencil

Little Susie was not the best student
in Catholic School . Usually she slept through the class.

One day
her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.

'Tell me Susie, who created the universe?'

When Susie didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitti ng behind her,
took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

'God Almighty!' shouted Susie.

?The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her class.

A little later the Nun asked Susie, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?'

But Susie didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to her
rescue and stuck her in the butt.

'Jesus Christ!!!' shouted Susie.

And the Nun once again said, 'Very good,' and Susie fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question...'What did Eve say to Adam after she had
her twenty-third child?'


Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Susie jumped up and shouted,
'If you stick that thing in me one more time , I'll break it in half!'

The nun fainted

A CHRISTMAS STOCKIN' STUFFER....ya'll will love this....


As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings were overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty. One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, 'What does this do? You're kidding me! Who would buy that?' Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour. Finding what I wanted was difficult. Love Dolls come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for "Lovable Louise. She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call Louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination. On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life. My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours and went to bed. The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. We all agreed that Louise should remain in her pantyhose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner. My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. 'What the hell is that?' she asked. My brother quickly explained, 'It's a doll.' 'Who would play with something like that?' Granny snapped. I had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. 'Where are her clothes?' Granny continued. "Boy, that turkey sure smells nice Gran" Jay said, to steer her into the dining room. But Granny was relentless. 'Why doesn't she have any teeth?' Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, 'Hang on Granny, hang on!' My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, 'Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?' I told him she was Jay's friend. A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home. The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the pantyhose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over in his chair and wet his pants. Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car. It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember. Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health. "Merry Christmas to all...and to all a GOOD LAUGH" MERRY CHRISTMAS Big Warm Hugs

As a joke, my brother used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was for Santa to fill them. What they say about Santa checking the list twice must be true because every Christmas morning, although Jay's kids' stockings were overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty. One year I decided to make his dream come true. I put on sunglasses and went in search of an inflatable love doll. They don't sell those things at Wal-Mart. I had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. If you've never been in an X-rated store, don't go. You'll only confuse yourself. I was there an hour saying things like, 'What does this do? You're kidding me! Who would buy that?' Finally, I made it to the inflatable doll section. I wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my truck so I could use the car pool lane during rush hour. Finding what I wanted was difficult. Love Dolls come in many different models. The top of the line, according to the side of the box, could do things I'd only seen in a book on animal husbandry. I settled for "Lovable Louise. She was at the bottom of the price scale. To call Louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination. On Christmas Eve and with the help of an old bicycle pump, Louise came to life. My sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours. Long after Santa had come and gone, I filled the dangling pantyhose with Louise's pliant legs and bottom. I also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. I went home, and giggled for a couple of hours and went to bed. The next morning my brother called to say that Santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him VERY happy but had left the dog confused. She would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. We all agreed that Louise should remain in her pantyhose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional Christmas dinner. My grandmother noticed Louise the moment she walked in the door. 'What the hell is that?' she asked. My brother quickly explained, 'It's a doll.' 'Who would play with something like that?' Granny snapped. I had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. 'Where are her clothes?' Granny continued. "Boy, that turkey sure smells nice Gran" Jay said, to steer her into the dining room. But Granny was relentless. 'Why doesn't she have any teeth?' Again, I could have answered, but why would I? It was Christmas and no one wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, 'Hang on Granny, hang on!' My grandfather, a delightful old man with poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, 'Hey, who's the naked gal by the fireplace?' I told him she was Jay's friend. A few minutes later I noticed Grandpa by the mantel, talking to Louise. Not just talking, but actually flirting. It was then that we realized this might be Grandpa's last Christmas at home. The dinner went well. We made the usual small talk about who had died, who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly Louise made a noise like my father in the bathroom in the morning. Then she lurched from the pantyhose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. The cat screamed. I passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and Grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. My brother fell back over in his chair and wet his pants. Granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car. It was indeed a Christmas to treasure and remember. Later in my brother's garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of Louise's collapse. We discovered that Louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. Fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape, we restored her to perfect health. "Merry Christmas to all...and to all a GOOD LAUGH" MERRY CHRISTMAS Big Warm Hugs

A nice calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy,
> walked up to the
> pharmacist,
> looked straight into his eyes, and said, 'I Would like
> to buy some
> cyanide.' The pharmacist
> asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?'The
> lady replied, 'I
> need it to poison my husband.'
> The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed,
> 'Lord have mercy! I
> can't give you cyanide to kill
> your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my
> license! They'll
> throw both of us in jail! All kinds
> of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have
> any cyanide!'
> The lady reached into
> her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed
> with the
> pharmacist's wife.
>
>
>
> The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'Well
> now, that's
> different.
> You didn't tell me you had a prescription.

Free Meat
It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed.

He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager, who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, "I'll be 16 tomorrow."

"I know," said the butcher with a smile, "I've been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she'll get, and watch the expression on her face."

When the boy arrived home he told his mother.

The woman nodded and said, "Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on his face!"

uhhhhh yeah......

welcome

damn sorta looks like me.

never thought of that b4.....

If your w/someone u really care about ....I see no prob....

Mr Limpid....