sweet black haired gal bout 5'2".... In black lace....

Two Mexican businessmen in Tijuana were sitting down for a
break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't
ready, with only a few shelves set up.

One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some idiot
tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window,
and ask what we're selling.

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure
enough, a curious Japanese tourist walked to the window, had a peek,
and in a thick Japanese accent asked 'What you sell?'

One of the men replied sarcastically, 'We're
selling azz-holes.'

Without skipping a beat, the Japanese man said, 'You
doing velly well, only two left

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it,' she replied, 'especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.'
Dumbfounded, her date asked, 'What do you mean?''Well, they flipped a coin, one team go t it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!

Quervo....

(((((((sprite darlin')))))))))))

Come on down 2 Va. & u wont be single






















@ least for a few nights....


How ya doin darlin'....

SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John 'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.

SMART ASS ANSWER #5-- A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'

SMART ASS ANSWER #4-- A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'

SMART ASS ANSWER #3-- The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop said. The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.' When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

SMART ASS ANSWER #2-- A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, ' Low Bridge overhead.' Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh.' The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.'

SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2008-- A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consid er a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'

Two bonus extras:

One: A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, 'May I have 50 Christmas stamps?'
The clerk says, 'What denomination?'
The blonde says, 'God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.'

Two: A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

Be happy darlin you have a job....there's alot that dont right now....Hope you have fun on ur days off tho'....

we're never truly alone , we have the Lord....but as for someone to share my life with......yeah it would be nice....

doin ok ((((((bug)))))) How bout u.....

Let me check......


Hey honey!!!!!!!!




























ECHOE























EChoe























echo























YEP ....SINGLE it be......

shake hand......

Leggy brunette in black lace......


How are ya bug???

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
'Hi, how are you?'

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom, but I don't
know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, 'Doin' just
fine.'

And the other guy says: 'So what are you up to?'

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too
bizarre so I say: 'Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling.'

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear
another question. 'Can I come over?'

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be
polite and end the conversation. I tell him, 'No........I'm a little busy
right now!!!'

Then I hear the guy say nervously...

'Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall
who keeps answering all my questions.'

not bad & u?

As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom
Door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from
Within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter
With a vibrator.

Shocked, she asked: 'what in the world are you
Doing?'

The daughter replied: 'mom, I'm thirty-five years
Old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as
I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and
Leave me alone.'

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz
Coming from the other side of the closed bedroom
Door. Upon entering the room, he observed his
Daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.

To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter
Said: 'dad I'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this
Thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a
Husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'

A couple days later, the wife came home from a
Shopping trip,
Placed the groceries on the kitchen
Counter, and heard that buzzing noise coming from,
Of all places, the living room. She entered that
Area and observed her husband sitting on the couch,
Downing a cold beer, and staring at the TV.

The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing
Like crazy.

The wife asked: 'What the f@!* are you doing?'

The husband replied: 'I'm watching football with my
Son-in-law.'

"Late again," the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy. "It ain't my fault this time, Miss Crabtree. You can blame this'un on my Daddy. The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!" Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for thirty-some years. Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Sammy what he meant by that. Full of grins and mischief and in the flower of his youth, little Sammy and trouble were old friends, but he always told her the truth. "You see, Miss Crabtree, out at the ranch we got this here low-down coyote. The last few nights, he done ate six hens and killed Ma's best milk goat. Last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his shot gun and said to Ma, "That coyote's back again, I'm a gonna git him!'' 'Stay back,' he whispered to all us kids!" "He was naked as a jaybird, no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop. Then, he stuck that double barreled 12 gauge shot gun through the window of the coop. "As he stared into the darkness, with coyotes on his mind, our old hound dog, Zeke, had done woke up and comes sneaking' up behind Daddy. Then, as we all looked on, plumb helpless, old Zeke stuck his cold nose in Daddy's crack! "Miss Crabtree, we all been cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin'."

Be Careful What You Name Your Website

All of these are legitimate companies that didn't spend quite enough time
to consider how their online name might appear!

These are not made up. Check them out yourself!

1. 'Who Represents' is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is: www.whorepresents.com

2. 'Experts Exchange' is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at: www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a great pen? Look no further than 'Pen Island'. It can be found at: www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try 'Therapist Finder' at: www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then there's the 'Italian Power Generator' company. Check it out at: www.powergenitalia.com
(this one is currently under construction).

6. And the designers at 'Speed of Art' await you at their wacky Web site: www.speedofart.com

A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a Baseball game

For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his Commands.

When the day of the game arrived. Everything went quite well.

As the National Anthem started, the doctor yelled, 'Up Nuts', and the patients complied by standing up.

After the anthem, he yelled, 'Down Nuts', and they all sat back down In their seats.

After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled, 'Cheer Nuts'. They all broke out into applause and cheered.

When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the Home team, the Doctor yelled, 'Booooo Nuts' and they all started Booing and cat calling.

Comfortable with their response, the doctor decided to go get a beer
And a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.

When he returned, there was a riot in progress.

Finding his tizzied assistant, the doctor asked, 'What in the world happened?'

The assistant replied, 'Well everything was going fine until this guy walked by and yelled,

'PEANUTS!'........

An older gentelman was sitting on his porch enjoying his morning coffee and newspaper when a young boy walked by carrying a roll of chicken wire.
The older guy asked him, "Hey! Whatcha doin with that chicken wire?"
The boy replied, "I'm gonna go catch me some chickens!"
The man just laughed and continued to read his paper.
Some time later, he saw the boy again walking the other way with a half dozen or so chickens in a chicken wire cage. The man laughed again, and went about his day.
The next day, the man was sitting on his porch again when he saw the boy carrying a few rolls of duct tape.
He asked, "Hey! Where ya goin with that duct tape?"
The boy replied, "I'm gonna go catch me some ducks!"
Again, the man laughed, and continued to drink his coffee and read his newspaper.
Later on, the boy came by with some ducks taped together, having a hard time holding them all.
The man giggled at the site, and asked him if he needed help carrying them. The boy just said, "No thanks!", and went on his way.
The next morning, the man made sure he was outside to see what the boy was up to this time.
Sure enough, he came walking by holding some ***** willows.
The man jumped up and said, "Hey! Wait up! Lemme get my coat!"

BILLY BOB OUT WALKING!
Billy-Bob was walking into town one day wearing nothing but his gun and his boots. Just as he began walking down Main Street he was confronted by the Sheriff.
"Hey, Billy-Bob, ya mind if I ask you what you are doin' walkin' down Main Street wearin' nothin' but your gunbelt and boots?"
"Well Sheriff, it's a long story."
"I ain't going nowhere", said the Sheriff.
"Well Sheriff, a couple hours ago I ran into Mary Lou in the saloon. We had ourselves a couple of drinks and then we started to feelin' kinda frisky and Mary Lou said, 'Why don't we go out to the barn?' So we did. Then we started getting real close and cuddin' and smoochin' and Mary Lou said, 'Why don't we go out back and go up to the top of the hill.' So we did." He continued,
"We started cuddlin' and smoochin' some more and the next thing I know, Mary Lou had taken off all her clothes and she suggested that I do the same. So I did, all except my gunbelt and boots. then Mary Lou laid down on the ground and spread her legs apart and said
'Okay,Billy-Bob, go to town'.