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| Topic: "Age doesn't matter" Oh Really? | |
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Edited by
indianadave4
on
Fri 11/23/18 09:28 PM
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IMO, any guy who wants to date a woman 20 years older than himself is either desperate or looking for sex.
There are lots of older women available in the local retirement centers. |
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IMO, any guy who wants to date a woman 20 years older than himself is either desperate or looking for sex. There are lots of older women available in the local retirement centers. Agreed. Personally I will never be that desperate. |
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Same life stage does not guarantee you happiness in a relationship. Hope you know that?
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"Age doesn't matter" Oh Really?
No. Not really. Except to those that chose to make it matter because they've decided it matters to them, their image, their identity, the way they see the world. But it doesn't really matter. At least to the type of relationship the people that believe "age doesn't matter" really want. At best they've deluded themselves into believing they want a successful (long term, healthy) relationship because it helps them come across as being truthful. If you're going to tell people what you think they want to hear, it's best to come across as really meaning it. Of course: She says he is too young and age doesn't matter.
Sometimes people just don't want to hear "no" and simply switch tactics. Just like any "good" salesman. You made your point but maybe you met the wrong one to start with. "You're too young" is a much "softer" no than not answering their message, or saying "I'm not attracted to you, don't email me again." When a beggar walks up to you and asks for a dollar do you say "sorry, I can't afford a dollar" or do you say "no, don't bother me?" If the former, is it truly unrealistic/unexpected the beggar would come up with a reason for you to give them a quarter? what would be left? Sex? Personally I would rather have sex with someone I can relate to in all the above categories and a lot more
That's great. Good for you. Thanks for sharing. Now...what if you can't find what you'd "rather" have? Not to mention, are you under the impression these guys messaging you saying "age doesn't matter" aren't messaging anyone else? Are you under the impression they're just sitting, pining away, year after year until your profile comes up, and they say "finally!" Or that they're conservative guys living according to how you think men should conservatively live but your profile comes up and they throw it away and think "I must have her and throw my values away and just pursue her! Maybe for just sex!" Or do you think they're emailing other women? Other women who also said "Personally I would rather have sex with someone I can relate to yadda yadda yadda," only they said that last year, or 3,6,10+ years ago (look at some of the join dates of the female posters) but haven't found their "rather" in that time? What exactly are you figuring out or saying with the OP? That (many/most/all) men are full of crap when approaching women? Are you trying to convince yourself of your own ideology, and you're lonely so you decided to share on a public forum? Do you honestly believe this hasn't been discussed before? In the time it took you to fill out the OP, how many other women do you think those guys have contacted? Are you under the impression forming a pseudo rational and logical argument about why age matters is going to affect men, that contacted you saying age doesn't matter, in any way? Enough women here have said they tried it and prefer to stay within 10 years either way. I have tried 13, 15 and 5 years younger. In every case I wound up feeling like I had another kid to raise. In spite of the one who was 5 years younger I am still willing to try. What would I do if I don't find anyone within that 20 year age span. I guess what I am doing now. Living alone. Which is far easier than being with the wrong person. Everyone has their preferences and that should be respected. But to argue with me that I should be more open minded is not going to work with me. Been there. Done that. And most definitely not doing it again. |
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Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Sat 11/24/18 04:06 AM
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IMO, any guy who wants to date a woman 20 years older than himself is either desperate or looking for sex. That's how *I* feel about guys looking for women young enough to be their daughter, or *grand daughter*.. Those much younger women are naive/ not as expereinced or wordly, and not likely to call the guy on his bulls**t like a woman nearer his own age would... |
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Same life stage does not guarantee you happiness in a relationship. Hope you know that? There are no guarantees but the chances of success are much higher the more you have in common |
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Young guy sends a message to older women. She says he is too young and age doesn't matter. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have read this. It matters! Interests. I cannot imagine someone who is 45 or younger sitting in a room with my friends and being able to understand what we are talking about. People my age remember Kennedy. We lived through that trauma. And people all over the world were traumatized by his assassination. Same for King and Lennon. We grew up with these people. They aren't just things the heard about or read somewhere. They are imprinted in our minds. The first space flight. Landing on the moon. Wringer washing machine. Only radio or black and white TV. A mom who stayed home with the kids when one income could support a family. Music. Whole different scene there Movies. They watch movies about the above events and think they know it. We can watch the movie and tell you what they left out or changed for the sake of the Hollywood machine. Life stages. I'm retired. I don't want to wait 20 years for him to retire so we can travel together. I've already put my time in. Raised my family. Needs and wants. What is important to a 40 or 50 yr old isn't as important to those of us who are retied. I could go on but what would be left? Sex? Personally I would rather have sex with someone I can relate to in all the above categories and a lot more. Not into going backwards in life I would never make someone's age a deciding factor, a person's character, attributes, personality, goals, many things are far more important. I agree age may well influence some of those factors, but you do meet people wise beyond their years, and others that seem to act like children. If you are both on the same page regarding what you want and where you are going in life, in my opinion, age really doesn't matter, unless of course age matters to you as a preference. |
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Wisdom!!! but despite all that I wanna be closer to you!! 
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Same life stage does not guarantee you happiness in a relationship. Hope you know that? Nothing that Humans do can guarantee happiness. Anyway, if age doesn't matter to a man, then these women are available: 
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Edited by
EirikViking
on
Mon 11/26/18 09:40 AM
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Why so skeptic about age? Either you click or you don’t. There are a lot of beautiful women (or men for you girls) out there, both younger and older. The age is just a number.
But from my experience there are some factors that come in play dating older/younger. Family responsibilities can be very different, as some already has pointed out. Finances can also be a factor. Interests and experience can be different. Health and physics can also be different (if we talk about old people like me ;) Prejudices from friends and family can be a (big) problem too. Way too many that has a need to show their opinion about dating old/young. But if only love matters, I can’t see why age should stop anyone? |
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Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Mon 11/26/18 09:49 AM
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Why so skeptic about age? Either you click or you don’t. But if only love matters, I can’t see why age should stop anyone? ErikViking... Do you feel the same about race...? Or gender? Would you date a man? I mean..taken to it's logical end...if *all* that matters is ~luv~..then it could be a same sex person...or someone of a different race...right? |
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The age is just a number.
No, it isn't. A large-enough age difference can cause trouble. |
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Why so skeptic about age? Either you click or you don’t. But if only love matters, I can’t see why age should stop anyone? ErikViking... Do you feel the same about race...? Or gender? Would you date a man? I mean..taken to it's logical end...if *all* that matters is ~luv~..then it could be a same sex person...or someone of a different race...right?  Is there something wrong with a Human dating a person of a different race?
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Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Mon 11/26/18 10:31 AM
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Is there something wrong with a Human dating a person of a different race?
You ignored the part about dating someone of the same gender....interesting. No, there's nothing wrong with dating someone of a different race *or* the same gender... I was merely pointing outthe hypocrisy of ~most~ (might want to re-read that..I never said *all) people who yammer about "age is just a number..all that matters is truuuu luuuuuv.." wouldn't *think* of dating someone of a different race or the same gender... My POINT was..if *all* that matters is "love"..then nothing is off the table... |
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Edited by
EirikViking
on
Mon 11/26/18 10:34 AM
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Why so skeptic about age? Either you click or you don’t. But if only love matters, I can’t see why age should stop anyone? ErikViking... Do you feel the same about race...? Or gender? Would you date a man? I mean..taken to it's logical end...if *all* that matters is ~luv~..then it could be a same sex person...or someone of a different race...right? NO I would not date a dude... 
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NO I would not date a dude...
If _only_ love matters, then either age, sex, color or whatever matters. But in real life love isn't that simple. As far as I've been told :) And THAT is my point (which I brought out about).. There are valid and reasonable concerns people have WRT dating someone much younger/ older..and we need to be respectful of those and quit rabbiting on about "all that matters is truuu luuuuv.." Because that is false... Unless, of course gender wouldn't matter as well...I mean..if it is "truu luuv" and all... For the record, in case someone can't grasp it...*I* don't see a problem with dating someone of a different race....*or* of the same gender...wanted make that clear, *again*. |
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^ ^. ^
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NO I would not date a dude...
If _only_ love matters, then either age, sex, color or whatever matters. But in real life love isn't that simple. As far as I've been told :) And THAT is my point (which I brought out about).. I personally don't think different sexes is comparable. That's stretching it too far. But I see your point. I'm not sure you did get my point, though. Maybe it was lost in translation somewhere (I'm not English) |
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I have seen my share of " age does not matter" relationships in my lifetime... and not one lasted the test of time.. not one.
you see, the older person ages faster then the younger one... and eventually the younger one sees it.. glaring and moves on. So age most certainly does matter.. big time. But I will tell you what I have seen in those relationships.. one person making fool of him/ her self. Embarrassing their kids and family and being the brunt of jokes at the work place. no thanks... I'll keep my self respect and play with people my own age. |
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