Young guy sends a message to older women. She says he is too young and age doesn't matter. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have read this.

It matters!

Interests. I cannot imagine someone who is 45 or younger sitting in a room with my friends and being able to understand what we are talking about. People my age remember Kennedy. We lived through that trauma. And people all over the world were traumatized by his assassination. Same for King and Lennon. We grew up with these people. They aren't just things the heard about or read somewhere. They are imprinted in our minds. The first space flight. Landing on the moon. Wringer washing machine. Only radio or black and white TV. A mom who stayed home with the kids when one income could support a family.

Music. Whole different scene there

Movies. They watch movies about the above events and think they know it. We can watch the movie and tell you what they left out or changed for the sake of the Hollywood machine.

Life stages. I'm retired. I don't want to wait 20 years for him to retire so we can travel together. I've already put my time in. Raised my family.

Needs and wants. What is important to a 40 or 50 yr old isn't as important to those of us who are retied.

I could go on but what would be left? Sex? Personally I would rather have sex with someone I can relate to in all the above categories and a lot more. Not into going backwards in life

I can only answer for myself. It matters to me in the specific sense of a relationship, although Li is 14 years younger than I. In a general sense it doesn't matter at all to me.

I've gone 11 years older.
I've gone 3 years younger.

I too prefer close to my age..within 5-10 years is fine...and at this stage *10* is pushing it...

It's always humorous to me that these young guys not *only* lie about their age on their profiles (so their profiles show up when older women do a search)...but what the woman wants and prefers seems to not matter to them...

"This is what *I* want...if it isn't what you want..then you are closed-minded/ have walls/ need to be less rigid...." blah blah..

Telling me what YOU think I should want is *not* the way to get me interested in you.

Also, sonny....we women are *quite* capable of looking for the profiles of younger men...if that was what we were interested in..we don't need you lying about your age just so we "see" you..

Exactly. It depends on the 2 people.

My last girlfriend was 19 years younger than me. I was actually 1 year older than her mom.

I didn't go out seeking it. She came to me. She impressed me. I gave her a chance. I don't regret any of it except for how I let her down in the end because my own life was falling apart.

For us, age really didn't matter. In fact, age was a stabilizing factor because we could provided age-perspective insights that the other was lacking. That helped both of us grow.

But as I've admitted elsewhere in the forums, this was a rarity for me. I normally am not interested in anyone that much younger. I really need to be shown they are someone special first. Then I'll decide whether it's worth taking the risk.

I believe a large part of the problem with age difference, weight, height, and the like is fear of negative perception. Some people care far too much how friends, family, and even strangers view their choice in a partner.

Obviously people have preferences and I never question the reasons for or the validity of their preferences. However, I do believe that part of the reason for those preferences is the fear of negative perception.

My mother is almost 9 years older than my dad. No problems there. But somebody much younger than me? Like more than 15 years? Nah. Them young girls may think, Bob Dylan is a footballer in England

Age does matter . Many people want mate, date, partners in their own age range.

Imo

What gets me is a 35 yr old man. His profile says he wants kids. But he is contacting me. Doesn't he realize that after a certain age women can't have kids or may not want them. If I even considered adopting I would be 86 by the time he or she is 20. That just isn't right to do to a child.

Or the men who are single parents and have kids. One guy wants a relationship with me because I am so..... and he has a 9-yr old son. Really!!!! You really think I want to parent a child through his teens? I can't think of anything less that I might want to do now that my kids are grown and gone, I am retired and presumably have nothing better to do with my life. okay maybe I can think of worse things but that one is right up there near the top of the list

Went to high school with first husband, 11 years and 2 children later I couldn't trust him, like him, tolerate him. done. Raised my girls. When they were college, I was 46 and met a 28 year old. one year later we got married. Meshed wonderfully in all aspects. Started a furniture refinishing business, bought land in the mountains, traveled, did whatever we wanted and made plenty of money. 25 years later he began to drink heavily and threatened me. Done. Still is the love of my life, but glad he moved to another state. Age is what you make of it.

Love can change anything, love is great. As you say, you retired at 50 years old, and you want to travel all over the world, your younger partner is still at working, he can' t travel with you. If I am your partner, I decide to work hard before you retired, making enough monery for rest of life, no matter how hard it is, I could have a try because of love.

Again it would depend on the age difference. I am already retired and am 66 yrs old. Am I supposed to wait another 20-30 yrs for some young guy to retire? Really, how long should I keep working?

I think waiting for someone closer to my own age would work out a lot better. Besides when he is just ready to retire I should be wearing Diapers and pushing a walker. Makes me wonder just how long he would be willing to stay with me

There's a lady that lives here she doesn't look or act her age at all. She's still working and on the fire department she's 80 her man is not lol. She's a hot mess and I hope the good Lord sees fit to let me be like her at that age. According to her age is just a number she says die young as late as possible.

Age matters quite a bit to me.
But, can be situational.

Generally, i'll only date within 5 years of
my own age. With few, very few exceptions.
One i did LTR with, was 8 years older than I.
While the most current, is 18 1/2 years younger
than myself.

In neither situation, did i wake up and decide,
"hey, i want a huge azz age gap in my next relationship."
It just happened.

It very much depends on your goals and timelines. If your goal is a significant LTR, then the age difference should be minimized. If your looking for a friend to enjoy some time with, it really doesn't matter much. Then it should be about shared lifestyle not age difference.

^^^This

Some young guys contact me, 25-30, wanting to start a family. Really? Do you know how old I am?

I have had this too. Clueless. I just block them. I’m getting too tired to try to educate them all

Hahaha, it all depends on how desperate you are?
I've gone 10 years in either direction.
I find as a male, I have better connectivity with women younger than I but not too much younger.

The ones I have dated 10 years my senior have all had certain hang-ups that prevented anything important from developing.

I find the ones ten years younger seem to have more in common with my mind and are more apt to understand my physical limitations.

The woman I am currently with is 12 year younger. We seem to have something special and while there are times when we don't click, those times are few and far between.
Those few times are pretty insignificant too.

We NEVER compare ages or experiences, we exist in the now, and enjoy the time and the experiences we share together.
Age is not an issue, because we don't make it an issue.

Now, lets think about it from a different perspective.
Lets say she was 25 year younger than me. That to me would be an issue because my daughter is 30 years younger than I. My oldest son is 26 years younger than I. I personally can't deal with that. It just feels wrong. It would be like me dating one of my kids friends. While I might think that my kids friends are hawt, I just can't go there. My X, can't say the same but that is one of the reasons she's my X.

I think there's a certain amount of maturity that is needed when making these kinds of decisions. I know I am dealing with a woman that is younger than I. I know I must be careful when interacting with her so I don't hurt her. Keeping everything current is important. We don't live in memory lane we live in the here and now.

I think that is important.

Just for the record my reticence to date someone a lot older or younger has shi* to do with what people may think/ what my friends may thing (fuc* them), society's expectations..or any of those other lame-as* things..

It has to do with what i have observed in my 57 years..
*IF* I found a guy that was a lot younger than me, that *wasn't* looking at an older woman as a "fetish"...someone whp could "teach" him, etc...or wasn't just interested in trying/marking an older woman off his "bucket list"....If he legitimately thought I was cool and wanted to build a life togethr..I *might* give it a go.

*IF* he balked at answering any of my questions, came at me with that lame "just go with your heart/ none of that matters/ age is just a number/ no one can predict the future" crap...it's "Bye Felicia"..
Honey, I am 57..I do *nothing* without careful consideration based on what life experiences have taught me..
You've still got that starry-eyed youthful thing going on?
Clearly..you lack the life expereince and maturity to interest me as a long term partner..and I do not do "causal"..

But, s always....to each their own..¯\_(ツ)_/¯
What matters to me may not matter to someone else, and others are free to pursue whoever they want.