Tonight I watched "The Client" - 1994 or 1995

Great movie!

So what are you saying? You have antique standards? Or are you one of the perves who loves such photos?
Not certain, but it doesn't sound you understand the point I was making.

Me thinks you are right.

Thank you for that feedback, Kristi!
Much appreciated.
If she gets to the point she cannot live alone any longer she will go in the home that is kind of part of the individual senior homes she now lives in.
It's not that far yet though. Wait and see.
It'll be sad to have that happen as she then will only have the one room in which you cannot fit a lot of things. But it is what it is.

And you're right, women have this way more often than men.
Women have a very high risk of dementia due to hormone loss after menopause.
It's one of these big things, I believe 65% for women, that you can develop, unless you use hormone replacement.

I'm not surprised that in men it works out differently either. Lack of hormones also can make someone moody and/or angry.

I know all that, but it's extremely hard to deal with when it's your mother.
I think it's easier with a stranger as you're not attached to them, they're not in your inner circle.
When it's your own mother that treats you like chit you automatically feel like "WTH are you thinking treating me this way?!"
In a way it's like starting to say goodbye while she's still alive. It's not like she's completely lost it, yet, but I nevertheless have to bear in mind that she's not her normal self anymore.

In any case, I will see her again tomorrow when we visit my daughter and granddaughters.
Hopefully that's enough distraction to make it easier.

Thank you again, Kristi! VEry helpful.
If I feel I need it I will find a group on FB.

Okay :) Time to paint!
I want to finish my painting.
All that remains is the tiniest little glimmer in an eye.
I've done that 4x already, didn't work out.
I hope I can now get it done!!
The other eye worked out in 1 go.
Fingers crossed!

After I came across a man who met his woman on a FB group, I too became a member of 2 FB groups for singles and dating.
I had never thought of that, but no harm no foul, right?!

I found 3 groups, disregarded 1 immediately based on the photos that women had posted:
Cleavage, short tight skirts, one was sat down showing naked thighs and almost showed her fanny?!?!?

In one of the other groups it's exactly the same.
WTH?

I'm not sure if this is common for women to do on dating sites, but what a daft thing to do!
You're basically selling sex.
You'll get a lot of attention, but that isn't about you as a woman, it's lust.
Could very well be that men become member of such sites only so they have free w@nking material.

Using sexy photos attract sexual attention, not love.
It lowers your standards, puts you on pretty much the same level as a girl in the red light district.
And then they do state they want respect?
Seriously?

Reason this shocks me is that it shows that nothing much has changed over the centuries. We're being used for sex.
Only by acting this way it's women themselves who encourage this.
Apparently most have become ingrained with the idea that your self-worth hinges on how sexy you are.
A lot of that is directly due to media and television (series like Baywatch for instance).

There are Muslims in Western countries who consider Western woman to be sl*ts.
Seeing this kind of shizzel I'm inclined to agree.
Not saying they have a great way of treating women, but I am saying the way women present themselves -and thus encourage certain treatment- is truly bad news.
Most certainly for other women who do not want to lower their standards to that level.

So many have fought to be equal and have equal rights, but looks like we're a far cry removed from that. These women ensure that we're still nothing more than eye-candy and lust objects.

I think that as long as women aren't able to step into sisterhood, we won't get equality.
Most behave like children with boobs in a competition to be the sexiest, most popular and so on.

We have to stop competing and develop self-love and self-respect as opposed to dimming our Light.

We cannot rate "prefer not to say".
Well, we can. Zero.
Get a profile text.

Thank you, Soufie!
She lives in a nearby town, 14 kms from me, still by herself, not in a home or anything.

You also have quite the history, phew!
Isn't it unreal how many women's live have been altered or affected by mothers?

I'll just make the best of it, but cut back on visits.

I feel upset and sad and angry.

I was going to my daughter tomorrow, see her and my 2 li'l granddaughters again. I was really looking forward to it! Haven't seen them in over a month as I had to cancel a prior visit due to a cold sore.

Now my daughter asked if my mum was coming with, which I hadn't counted on.
I've had some huge fall-outs with my mother of late. She's losing it and I bear the brunt of it. She's never been loving, understand, and appreciative of me, more that I've been used as her emotional crutch all my life. Even as a young child.
The manipulation & emotional blackmail I've had to endure are unbelievable.
As it is, I just can't and won't put up with it any longer.

But her abuse is getting worse now she's losing it.

Long story short it resulted in me now having to wait yet another day to see my granddaughters AND take my mother with me. Which is the last thing I want.
The way to get to this new appointment was far from pleasant, another escalation and more abuse.

I don't want to involve my daughter in all that chit so for now I'm leaving it as is.
But not happy.
Stress, sadness, which I immediately feel in my body.
Aching muscles etc.
And very sad she messed up my happiness about seeing my granddaughters tomorrow.

I know it will sound harsh to many but after all the abuse I've had from my mother my entire life I truly wouldn't mind never seeing her again.

The way she's losing it is fast. Not that long ago it was possible to have a decent conversation. No longer. She's not interested in anything, blunt enough to say that, cuts you off mid-sentence as she feels you've talked enough and she's entitled to speaking, never apologises and so on.
She's always been kind of like that, but now it's 10x worse.
And she's only beginning to get dement.

I've read this was hard on family, but bleep me!
If it is going to mean abuse abuse abuse, I am not sure what I'll do, but likely not go anymore.

Anyone else had similar experiences?

Currently watching movies from the 90s :)
Lots of good movies in that decade!!
Way before the B S started with the marvel stuff, which is the main menu nowadays and has been for over a decade.

The Fugitive, US Marshalls, Armageddon, Primal Fear, Deep Impact etc.

Thank you, Julie. I will :)

It is indeed real, unfortunately woven into western life-style.
I too think, actually am certain, it is instigated by the ones in power, of which big pharma is a major part.
When people are stressed they're more prone to experiencing fear, mostly fear of lack.

But this fear can very easily sky-rocket in certain situations.
Just take the pandemic. Almost everyone got a shot and no one knows what they were injected with. Nor did they care at the time.
They were driven by fear of death.
Although the virus may have been real, I strongly feel it was a construed event.
Maybe an experiment that got out of hand, but I doubt that.
Maybe more a test to see how far people are willing to go when you push the right buttons.
Since this whole AI thing is another scheme, and now it's clear people are willing to have whatever put in their bodies when they fear for their life.
They would've agreed with chips and whatnot if that could've saved them from the alleged disease.

But in any case, back to anxiety... it is a strange thing.
Even I am not 100% free of it while I am not an active part of society since I don't work, have a small social circle and low budget so I rarely go places.

Getting to the finish line now!
Almost done :D

Thank you, Julie :)

I'm stuck with my painting, hihi.
I got to here some 4 days ago. And now I don't know how to finish it off.
Inspiration isn't flowing, Merlin remains silent, isn't helping out. As we say in Dutch: he's silent in all languages.

I've asked a man who has great affinity with Merlin as well, he's a witch and Priest of Avalon.
Maybe he gets something.

Thing is, I want something that connects Merlin to the bottom left corner. Possibly something from his right hand.
But... what?

I think later on today I will finish off the path with grasses etc. and hope that I'll get an idea.

Geez, that is shocking news.
He was still so young.
I did like him in the Cosby show.
Have seen him in other movies or series. He was quite a good and likeable actor.
Hope he has made a good transition. Drowning is not a nice way to go...

A few things that have left me flabbergasted -in a good way!

Since approx. 2 weeks I have 1 more doses a day of oestrogen.
Start doses is 2 pumps gel, now I have 3.

Within 1-2 days I noticed a difference in a few things. One is my skin.
In the elbow fold I had gotten tiny 'folds'/wrinkles when I turned my forearm. I wasn't chuffed when I saw that a while back.
Now it's as good as gone?!

Another was my left eye.
That has always been slightly smaller than the right, but was barely noticeable.
However, since I was menopausal it got worse and worse.
Not a matter of the eye socket getting smaller, but the skin above the eye becoming looser.
That skin then presses on the eye, causing it to look smaller.
I was not chuffed :(
At first it was only noticeable in photos, and I tend to take a lot for dating sites amongst others.
I almost stopped taking photos as it made me feel horrible to see my eye like that.
Last year approx., you could also see it when looking at me. Not quite as clear as in photos, but it was noticeable.
I was really really not chuffed!!!

But then after about 1 week on 3 pumps oestrogen gel instead of 2 I was doing my make-up, looked at myself in the mirror and, WTH?
I had to blink, look twice, thrice, couldn't believe what I saw!!!
My left eye looks normal again???!!
I kid you not!
The somewhat loose fold on my eye is nice and tight, no longer pressing on my eye?!

Unreal. I had NOT expected that. Hadn't even thought of that.

Then today...
Had to drive somewhere, hadn't been in my car for about 1,5 weeks.
As I'm driving I notice the rear view mirror is too low, I had to bend a bit to be able to look into it properly??
WTH?
No one else drives in my car, the mirror never gets adjusted and it's not loose.
I adjusted it, couldn't get it right as it needed to move quite a lot and I was driving.
Later on I had to adjust it again as I still had to bend over a bit?
It got to the point that I had to adjust it so much that I couldn't see directly behind my car, which I do not like either.
In the end I sorted it by putting the mirror diagonally. It was the only way to get both short distance and further away in view.

I felt my bum in the seat. Was I sat further back?
Nope.
Same as I've sat in this car for 5 years.

Meaning...
My intervertebral discs are recovering!!!
WOW!

Being 59 I had not noticed shrinking had already begun? But if I am now a bit taller again, then f*(k, it does begin at a younger age and it sneaks up on ya.

So danged happy I got my hormone therapy.
Total life save!

Looks like I'm going to have the future I have in mind for myself: no walkers, no scoot-mobile, just me myself and I :D

And... looking in the mirror I honestly see a younger face looking back at me.
Now I've always looked younger than my age. People thinking I was 10-15 yrs younger wasn't rare. But still, now it's somehow different. Even my mother says so time and again, and she isn't generous with compliments.
Maybe it's mostly because looking younger was my default. I absolutely liked it, but it was normal to me.
But now, even I see a difference.
And that...
I am utterly really really chuffed about, haha.

And I'm only on HRT for 8 weeks now.

I loosely follow a number of wellness, health, inspiration, dating coaches and the subject they all regularly address:
Anxiety.

I never get that?
I have little to no anxiety so I cannot relate to it at all.
It only makes me wonder, "What the heck are people busy with?"
Anxiety is unhealthy, doesn't gel with happiness and love in life.

Now I have one big advantage over many others my age: I don't work.
That means I am far away from the ratrace that most people are stuck in 5 days a week.

What does strike me as odd, although it can be coincidence:
All bar one of these coaches are American. And the exception lives and works in LA and his clientele is mostly American.

Would that mean that Americans have more anxiety than other people?
I don't know.
Could be that America has more well-known coaches (that I happen to follow) and thus it appears that way.

Then again, watching movies & series, these do tell that many Americans struggle financially, especially when younger, to make ends meet, pay there schooling fees or those of their children. Often ending up having to work 2-3 jobs at the same time.

Gregg Braden, scientist & inspirational speaker, had a situation like that growing up. Dysfunctional family, father left, mother couldn't make ends meet, so as a young teenager he had to work in a factory while he was also going to school.
That is unheard of in The Netherlands.
We have quite the solid welfare system that would help such a family out so kids wouldn't have to work and sleep in the classroom.

In that sense I do think the US has more reason for people to have anxiety.


What do you think?
Do you come across a lot of anxiety in your environment, or maybe you yourself?
Are people quite stressed out where you live?
For me, whenever I see the next workshop or course on offer about anxiety it's "NEXT!!"
Not interested.
But it is sad that there obviously is a big market for that.
Says enough of how the masses live their lives, and that is truly sad.

Untamed was a one off series. A complete story spread out over 6 episodes.
It was well worth it though!

Found a new series to watch: Ballard
US police series on solving cold cases.
Apparently it's a Bosch spin-off and the Bosch dude showed up in the 1st or 2nd episode. Not happy as I never watched that series since I really dislike the actor.
I hope it was just the once to give Ballard a good kick-off.
Only watched 1,5 episodes, so wait and see if it's any good.