Topic: How much you spent on a date?
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Wed 05/16/18 09:34 PM
I have voluntarily paid for dinner for about 4 guys who I could tell had no money.

I have INVOLUNTARILY paid for dinner for several men who seemed to have the money, but left their wallet in their MB
, in their truck or at the gym.


Other dates/meets I have paid half.


NO second dates/meets. shades

Gs2Awesome's photo
Wed 05/16/18 10:03 PM

$45 is a good set number. Here you can eat Mexican or southern food for about $25. Then if she likes you, go to a park or walking trail.

What I can't stand is guys who want to "come over" or to meet me in a parking lot. I do think of them as losers. First impressions are very important. Guys wouldn't want the woman showing up in old pjs, no make up, and messy hair.



Lol I met my girlfriend on my street in her car. Met, talked for 15 minutes got rid of the weird awkwardness that accompanies meeting a person for the first time. Then she went to boxing, I texted her, asked to if she wanted to grab coffee. We went, I spent about $3.00 and we talked more. Now we've been dating for going on 3 months. First impressions to me are meh, there is so much more to a person that just what you get in the first impression.

BlueEyedNerd's photo
Wed 05/16/18 10:11 PM
It's been a while since I've done the date thing but, I do agree with earlier posts.
Getting together for a coffee or quick bite isn't really a date.

Absolutely depends on prior conversations as to the date activities.
I might cook for her and watch a movie we like.
I might do the tourist thing.
An amusement park.
Perhaps a trip to explore a beach, etc.
Really depends. Surprise not shock.

If we can't have fun with each other then I have no interest.
Trying to impress by over spending or doing things we'd never do again is dishonest.

SparklingCrystal ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’Ž's photo
Thu 05/17/18 02:02 AM
Edited by SparklingCrystal ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’Ž on Thu 05/17/18 02:05 AM





I have never believed it is a man's responsibility to pay for a date .. even as a young woman studying at university, I still worked and earned my own money .. I have an independent streak:wink:

My idea of a meet and greet would be a run through the sand dunes ., to see if he can keep up biggrin

I like the sand dunes :)
As for the independency.. it always surprises me to read that many women feel they aren't when a man pays for them on a date.
I don't see it as me not being independent at all since I am simply not dependent on a man to pay for me, or not. To me it's about seeing if he's got masculine energy, the provide and protect, the taking care of a woman-thing. If he isn't even willing to pay for a few drinks, then he's not a man who's willing to make an effort for a girl. Chances could even be that he's not going to be there for you when you need him either.
Also, it's a man's natural instinct and desire to give and please a woman. As a woman you should be able to receive that, otherwise he cannot give to you and this will then block the flow between a man and a woman.
That's the problem with women today, and can cause problems in relationships or getting a man even.
Being able to receive when a man gives to you is not dependent, it's being feminine.
Not having a go at you, please don't take it that way. It's just your reply that triggered this train of thought as I come across this mindset a lot, on here and elsewhere.
I personally feel it's a shame so many women have this mindset as I don't think it is helpful when it comes to your love life.
Again, not personal, just triggered by your post :) And a subject that intrigues me, as this is what I am busy with all day due to the courses & workshops I give.
flowerforyou
no offence taken crystal but you seem to be making assumptions .. . I have never had the expectation that it should be the man who pays for a date ...that is true .., I did not say it would be an issue for me ... if he felt strongly that he wanted to pay ., there is quite a difference . For me it has nothing to do with feminine/masculine energy.... more to do with being considerate and not having a predetermined mindset that the man pays .

in a relationship I would want to contribute financially ..that has no reflection on his masculinity or ability to provide but on my capabilities .... at least in my mind waving .

Agree, especially on the bit when in a relationship.
But I do wonder, does it really not bother you if you're on a meet and greet and when the moment comes that the bill needs to be paid the man clearly isn't intent on paying it?
I'm not talking about a dinner per say as I don't do that on a meet and greet. ANd I never consume anything I cannot pay for myself either. But if a man has a problem with paying the bill on a meet & greet it was the first and last time he's ever gonna enjoy my company.
Just wondering how you feel about that? Does that really not bother you?
I would be hoping the coffee would be on his super yacht smitten . laughing .. payment would surely not be an issue ...

seriously .. the type of man I am attracted to would like me ...also be considerate . .. hopefully I have screened him well before any meet took place . If I had to pay for my coffee I would not necessarily see that as a red flag . I would be more interested in our level of attraction and how we interact .

Let me ask you a question crystal .. if you were meeting a male friend or colleague (platonic) for a coffee .. would you expect them to pay for you ???



No. But they're not a date or potential partner, so what I would need and want from them is different.
I also don't expect a man to pay for everything when we're regularly dating. On the meet & greet, yes, first date, yes. After the 2nd date I feel it begins to change.
But even on a meet & greet I tend to have a little something for the man as I often date men from further away so they'd have to drive 2 hours or more. So then I have a little something to show my appreciation.

But in general I have experienced several times that you have to be a bit cautious with giving too much, which includes paying for things as well as buying him pressies.
In the past I had a good job and the one I was seeing then -and got involved with for 10 yrs- didn't. He was almost flat broke when we met (changed later on). I didn't care about paying for things so we could enjoy life and being together. Not talking about his bills, but going out, nice dinners etc.
He didn't like that one bit, made him feel emasculated. And he wasn't even an empowered male, but a narcissist and a real cheapo. And I mean cheap in capitals. But even he didn't like it. He'd rather not have gone out at all than have me pay for it.
I seriously think many women underestimate this thing in men, provide & protect, giving, caring for a woman, as women these days are reared to take care of themselves, to make their own money and to be proud of it. And sure you can be proud of it, but you still gotta allow a man to give to you.
Balancing that all can be tricky. You gotta allow him to give, yet give enough yourself so it's not like you're using him for money so to speak. I suppose a matter of intuiting to get it right.

gable85's photo
Thu 05/17/18 08:12 AM

with me if I went on a date I'll spent no more than $45...


And you sir.. are a tightwad

really....how so?

gable85's photo
Thu 05/17/18 08:16 AM
On a date nothing!! The man pays!!!
well things change...some women pay dates as well

gable85's photo
Thu 05/17/18 08:19 AM
If i need to spend for a date, i will just cook :grin::grin::grin::grin:
good idea...sometimes I'm kinda the same way

no photo
Thu 05/17/18 08:22 AM
If a woman insists on paying for the date or half the date, I wouldn't bother going on the date.

she can find some stunad who is okay with a woman paying for him on a date or going dutch.


Fervid_heart's photo
Thu 05/17/18 08:24 AM
10 points from Hufflepuff

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Thu 05/17/18 09:15 AM

If i need to spend for a date, i will just cook :grin::grin::grin::grin:
good idea...sometimes I'm kinda the same way



I don't that is wise for when you're dating and getting to know each other, its okay once a relationship is established.

Most women are astute when it comes to dating and getting to know someone, they usually don't go to a man's house within the first few times of dating and getting to know each other.

those days are gone, you have to spend time out with them in public and they will see how you are in public before accepting an invitation for dinner at his place or her place.


no photo
Thu 05/17/18 11:53 AM

10 points from Hufflepuff

Is this some exotic dish?

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Thu 05/17/18 12:33 PM


10 points from Hufflepuff

Is this some exotic dish?


I'd say so

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Thu 05/17/18 12:48 PM



10 points from Hufflepuff

Is this some exotic dish?


I'd say so

which means it'll be expensive joelaugh

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Thu 05/17/18 12:54 PM
Smh laugh men

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Thu 05/17/18 12:56 PM
didn't say we wouldn't spend it.
just that we might need to sell some stuffs first

Fervid_heart's photo
Thu 05/17/18 01:57 PM
spock yall too much sometimes


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Thu 05/17/18 02:03 PM
Well Thank you :yum:

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Thu 05/17/18 04:33 PM
$45 for a date. I'm game. :thumbsup:

Most of my dates, I have to give a credit card number so they can charge me the minimum $300 for said meet. Then charge another $200 if you want to have a conversation. By the time the check comes back, I've spent over $500 and she already left to go back to the service where I acquired her services of being on a date with me...slaphead

The forementioned was a joke....laugh waving

no photo
Thu 05/17/18 07:04 PM

If a woman insists on paying for the date or half the date, I wouldn't bother going on the date.

she can find some stunad who is okay with a woman paying for him on a date or going dutch.



Iโ€™m curious about this and if many men share your mind on the subject.

Say youโ€™ve treated her to a dozen outings and she invites YOU to try this little bistro her sister introduced her to last week. She thinks youโ€™ll love it and wants to do something special for you. Would you be offended if she wanted to treat you for a change?

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Thu 05/17/18 07:14 PM
oops I forgot to answer. I donโ€™t remeber ever paying for an initial series of dates. I have made up the picnic baskets for outings. Iโ€™ve grabbed the bill for many established relationship dates ranging $20 - $60 for two meals . $60 being special occasion fancy spot.