lula,

the only wrong answer is abusive jagoff men.
you want to avoid those and most self proclaimed nice guys

I do get the point. I understand the compatibilty factor, the emasculation perception, even the preference. I didn't at the time in the instance provided, because I had never encountered it. Even now he was the only date that considered his emotions greater than mine. Though I begrudgingly agree I should be more considerate of his, I wasn't aware he felt that way until months later. A lack of communication existed.

It isn't much different than sex on the first date. Some men will think less of a woman, some men won't. (I'll leave my stance on this out.)

My point to Crystal was that it doesn't mean I love myself less or feel unworthy when I offer and pay. There isn't a soul alive who could love me more than I do, nor know my worth as I do. I own my baggage, I know why and how I came to feel as I do. After 11 years I should have gotten rid of it, though it remains. I can count on one hand the number of dates I have had in the past 11 years, all because I would not/will not accept an invite if I cannot pay. That is my thinking. Doesnt mean its right, just me. But I wouldn't tell another woman she doesn't think enough of herself if she did not do things the same as I do.

I dont speak for Crystal, Im assuming you mean Crystal Fairy?

I see where she is coming from as Ive experienced in the past women who were extremely hurt from previous relationship has a major wall up and a lot of them when you dig deep down don't really love themselves.

Now that doesnt mean all women in that position and I think Crystal Ferry needs to understand that.

Some women who do love themselves but have been indoctrinated by whoever to believe that YOU(the woman) MUST PAY YOUR OWN WAY, this isn't the leave it to beaver trip back to the 50's, because women are on equal footing as a man.

and that is why I mentioned the square peg in a round hole, m not going force a woman to adopt my thinking on a date, and I would hope she wouldn't force me to adopt her thinking if we are on a date.

but that wont happen because it will never get to a date.

I feel 39C now, does someone have turned off the AC in this room?️️

no lulu you were just laughing so hard you overheated.

yeah, I agree about not forcing one to adopt.
In a dating situation I would that I could be more clear on my stance and the why than to leave him to believe it is a leftist feminist thinking.

Funny part is one of the so called meets I went on, for I do not call it a date when you first meet them....We met at the gun range~~ And I had told him prior that on the first meet I prefer dutch... That way at the end if they do pay then it's a plus and normally a hint they may ask for a real date..

Dates to me is once you get passed that first meet and still want to get to know that person..

As far as a date or a meet the one that suggest it should be prepared to pay for where ever you suggest to meet.. But if the other wants dutch then go with it...If they pick up once that has been established catch it the next time or at least once in a while..

If you want to limit what you spend then suggest places within your budget.. if they are good with the suggestion then all is good and if they offer to pay their part for they would rather go dutch, then accept and understand it~~~either it means they don't want to go out again or they don't want you to think they are taking advantage of the situation.

Yea you would have to ask them out again to find that out..

you have to thank your left leaning radical feminists sisters for that one Fervid.

Opened up a can of worms this topic.

I’m still not sure of the general consensus.

For that I blame the suffragettes.

i think from the posts joey that the only thing even close to a consensus was op's short arms and deep pockets

the consensus is , it depends on the woman and man.

some women prefers a man to pay for date

some women prefers to pay for themselves

some women wants to break your balls for suggesting you should treat them

and some women don't care.


and we have to figure out which category they fall under.

Nice!

how dare you

Curious what happens when a meet is unsuccessful ... and the man is rejected ... Does he still feel a manly obligation to pay for her coffee

When you go to a movie and it sucks, do you get your money back?

I think... Hmmmm️️️️ still

Pay the tab...leave a good tip for the waitress.
Rejection don't mean nuttin' to a real man

you got it sno

Lol yea. He still pays for it.
Coffee on the first meet will give you palpitations lol.

How'd you reject a person on the first date lol. I guess if you went to meet him/her, there's something that fascinated you. Looks shouldnt matter that much