I have two famous quotes we've all heard.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"Familiarity breeds contempt."

Of course it addresses the question.
You wanted insight as to why they ask.
Perhaps they ask so they can pigeonhole
you as not serious to invest too many
emotions into, think of that?

They do not ask if you expect to get married
only where you stand.
Perhaps they feel marriage with you,
is not for them.
So they ask.
I do not see where they compared living arrangements.

No, I didn't want insight into why they ask.

I want to know what is to be gained. How will moving the relationship to another place be beneficial to her or me?

Absence makes the heart grow fonder for someone else, the one who is around.

I think often too many times people read things in something that just isn,t there. They think somebody wants more from them then they actually do.

TS, I think if you focus on your own age group for dating material, you'll find that women may have similar life experiences that you do and may be more compatible with your way of thinking. However, if your preference is much younger women(this, I believe to be the case) you'll be constantly trying to figure out what they want.

What is to be gained? >>>>> more life experiences.

You've been through hoops mate... maybe she wants that too?

.....I totally agree with this..

.....So true when I was younger I wanted a family ect...Now that I'm older I've had all those things not looking for the same things as I did when I was younger..

Before I make a big life change, I want a damn good reason for it. I want to know if it's going to make my life better. And if it is, what will it cost? Will it be worth the cost? Or will it just add unwanted stress to my life?

I would hope these are questions she's thought about too.

Most of those questions anyone can say yes but there are no guarantees in life.... You will never know if all those things will happen unless you just go for it and find out...

That's pretty funny

You:
-worried about costs
-Growing old with no coin
-worried about negative consequences
-worried about unwanted stress


Her:
-tired of aloof mentality
-wants to build a loving family
-cost is no concern
-wants a solid foundation


You're completely on different pages! Good luck man!

This is an acceptable answer.

I can only date women that want to date me. If a 45 year old gives me the cold shoulder and a 20 year old warms to me, who do you think I'm going to date?

Women in my age group simply do not like me even before I talk to them. I've literally had women refuse to tell me the time!

I'll say "hi, I'm Ray." And she'll say "go away and leave me alone." I am not exaggerating. This has happened many, many times to me.

Something about me triggers something in them and I have no idea what it is. But, whatever it is, it seems to have the opposite effect on younger women.

When I used the word "cost" I wasn't referring to money. There are other kinds of costs. Maybe I should have asked what will I have to give up?

I think that most people have certain goals and expectations, if they met and liked you, then it became physical and while this is happening become more emotionally attached during the process. So I think John hit on something with "age thing". if they are younger they have different hopes, dreams and expectations of fulfilling certain ideals of their own and that have been established by society. Possibly a home with the white picket fence, etc... So the path is set in our minds, based upon life experiences and stages in life. Ive heard that you are always either moving backward or forward, or your stagnant. That is not enough for everyone to provide enough reason in their mind to give of themselves and commit to what? No promise of anything, but a good time, when it works out, and is not inconvenient? Its and investment of your Time. Would you invest in something you wanted make gains on, in hopes of no return? That's like paying rent vs buying.

Hope some of that made sense...

I also do agree with Roaming O, and TxsGal as well.

I have been in both situations myself.
Where I wanted it to go "somewhere" and when I wanted "independence" and to just let it ride.

I get that. There's nothing wrong with preferences.

But now at least now you know, She wants... what you once had.

We men NEED to govern ourselves accordingly at the onset... IMO
Cheers!

Stages in life make big difference on this. Older women are less likely to be worried about where it is going. Where a younger woman is going to be looking to the future. And not initially. Going into it as fun and enjoyment will be easy even for an older woman but the younger woman is going to start wanting it all eventually.

Now I cannot say all younger or older women because in humanity ALL never applies to any type of human but I can say that a majority of younger ladies are going to be looking for the stability, building something together, sharing everything, intimacy of that type (married)of relationship, etc...

Personally at my stage, I want the physical relationship with less of the constant involvement. Companionship is nice but not constantly. But I am a mature woman who has already done the family and "married" thing.

If my memory serves me well, you prefer younger women so it will come with the territory after a while in the relationship, I would think.

I hope that helped.

I guess the fact that you and her would move in together is more of a show of faith. I realize that if you want to cheat, then you can do it living seperately or together. I am talking about the fact that you would do it. To her it would have more meaning. It would say that you want to share things with her, such as waking up together every morning, eating breakfast, having a morning chat before work. These simple things mean a lot. That's more to what I was referring to.

Only she can tell you whether she's thought about those things, too. What it sounds like, though, is that you're both at different places in life and want different things. That's definitely going to affect how the relationship is going.

I want to know where it's going because I don't view my life as static. It's ever changing from moment to moment. I desire growth or advancement in most things in my life-be it a career or a relationship. I want to know that I am somewhat near the top of someone's priorities. That doesn't have to mean living together.

That's not to say that I am saying forever or anything to that effect. I am with someone 22 years younger and you WILL NOT be at the same stage of life. You have to evaluate what's worth it for you and will it bother you 3 or 4 years down the road if it ends.

Right, but are these the kind of things women, in general, think about?

Damn Goof; you are right on the ball and took the words from my mouth. How did you get so damn smart?