I went on a date last week, and suggested in a round about way that we go "dutch" on the movie we decided to see...she seemed a little surprised but then was adamant about paying for the movie tickets while I paid for the pop and popcorn. Who should pay on a first date? Man? Woman? or split?....oh yeah - there hasn't been a second date :(

This really depends on what your intentions are.

If you are courting her, you should pay.

If you are business partners or strictly friends, (in that case its not really a "date") then dutch is fine.

If you were just meeting to check out mutual chemistry, you should have just had coffee.

Well said Jeannie... I agree with what you had to say about the matter!

I think it depends on the woman...I never expect the man to pay and am always prepared and offer to go dutch or at least alternate as you said, if he pays for the tickets, I’ll insist on paying for the popcorn. However, if the man insists on paying, I don’t make an issue of it.

Well, what an enlightment moiment!

I guess it goes by how each person considers to leave an everlasting impression.


I. Would prefer my date give me a warning. By. The way we're going dutch.

What if, I had no $ on me?!

good point!...she told me she was laid off too...lol...what a weenie I am!

From experience, first dates can be unpredictable...sometimes activities i.e. bars, movies, coffees aren’t always planned in advance. The only thing that we've agreed on is where to meet. How long the date lasts depends on how well we've got on.

On one date, I was sitting outside a cafe drinking coffee at 4am. Whereas other dates haven’t even lasted half an hour...it depends on how well we hit it off.

One thing is certain...I could never go on a date if I didn’t have any money regardless of whether I was employed or unemployed.

Take a clue from nature. Even a tropical bird will dance and put on a magnificent display to impress a potential mate.

If you make no effort to impress your potential mate, it sends the message that you are not all that interested in her.

Asking her to go dutch sends the message that you think you are a great catch and that she should be grateful you grazed her with your company.

Smart women know that men have huge egos, but that advertises the fact that you do.

the guy should be paying
i have never had any guy ask me to go dutch

and of course there is not going to be a 2nd date with this one
she wasnt impressed

but then if neither of you had any money
nothing is wrong staying indoors and watch a movie on tv
and make that person a meal

He who invites pays.

If she suggests changing a coffee date to a dinner date she should be prepared to at least offer to pay her half.

I think a first meeting should always be dutch, even coffee....

Outside cyber, if a man invites me to dinner, a movie, lunch, whatever, I assume he is paying...This includes a first date.....If I invite and a man accepts, I pay....

She better be paying if she wants a second date and I don't want no damn McDonalds.........

FINE!! Subway is better, anyway.

the last sentence says it all - if u made the invitation I would suggest expecting to pick up the tab...unless other plans are made or she offers

plenty of other guys are more than happy to pick up the tab if they make the invite

yes and then there is the surprise factor.....I have never had a man ask me to pay...but I have offerred - usually that offer is turned down.

my actual preference is to do something that is not costly

Hi...in my opinion, if im invited on a date, then he should be picking up the tab...if I issue the invite, I assume im paying, but they always offer to pay anyway. It really depends on the interest i think, :)

Whoever asks for the date should pay.
As this is never me, it works good.

Who's Dutch? And why are you guys trying to get rid of him?

What does Dutch's leaving have to do with who pays?

It will really depend on the woman you're with. Some always assume the man is paying and will get upset when that's not the case. Others, like me, will always offer to pay our share and are fine with going dutch. So, your best bet is to discuss it beforehand and find out the kind of women you're going on a date with. That way, there are no surprises.

Do people actually leave the house with no money/credit cards?