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| Topic: First Date - who pays? | |
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She already knows he does. There was a lot goin on it seems. She chose not to be a romantic interest because of the struggle. I think it was pretty wise. I was giving my own opinion, about how I deal with things. I was not speaking for her. |
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Sat 12/03/11 07:38 PM
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She already knows he does. There was a lot goin on it seems. She chose not to be a romantic interest because of the struggle. I think it was pretty wise. I was giving my own opinion, about how I deal with things. I was not speaking for her. We replied to her post which is why we quoted it. Your opinion is a noble one, it just didnt address the quoted situation. It did in a way, which was why I said what I said when I first responded. |
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Everyone is different.
Which is what makes us all so unique in the first place. What works for one, may not necessarily work for another. And that is perfectly fine. Or at least , it should be.... 
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Sat 12/03/11 07:40 PM
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Exactly. What works for some will not work for others. There are many men out there who are completely fine with paying for the first date, or paying most of the time. There's nothing wrong with that.
I just happen to see things a bit differently and there's nothing wrong with that either. This is why the forums are interesting, as we see many different opinions. |
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As stated before, I've never had a man ask me to pay either. Me offering to pay my share is quite different than him asking for money. So, I haven no clue where this scam comes into play that you keep mentioning.
Of course we're all entitled to our own opinions. That would be why people are discussing different opinions here. Singmesweet, I think Sweetestgirl was referring to the man ( mentioned earlier in this thread),who had a history of asking women out on dates to dinner,then would pretend he left his wallet behind. Hence the mention of the word," scam'.
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As stated before, I've never had a man ask me to pay either. Me offering to pay my share is quite different than him asking for money. So, I haven no clue where this scam comes into play that you keep mentioning.
Of course we're all entitled to our own opinions. That would be why people are discussing different opinions here. Singmesweet, I think Sweetestgirl was referring to the man ( mentioned earlier in this thread),who had a history of asking women out on dates to dinner,then would pretend he left his wallet behind. Hence the mention of the word," scam'.
that is the type of situation I was thinking of, yes |
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She already knows he does. There was a lot goin on it seems. She chose not to be a romantic interest because of the struggle. I think it was pretty wise. I was giving my own opinion, about how I deal with things. I was not speaking for her. We replied to her post which is why we quoted it. Your opinion is a noble one, it just didnt address the quoted situation. It did in a way, which was why I said what I said when I first responded. Kinda. It looked like you were suggesting she was looking for him to take care of her. I just offered the idea that she could be looking for him to take care of him. It didnt seem like you considered that possibility. If someone shows on a first date that they're unable to even pay for themself, that's a red flag for either a man or woman. |
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As stated before, I've never had a man ask me to pay either. Me offering to pay my share is quite different than him asking for money. So, I haven no clue where this scam comes into play that you keep mentioning.
Of course we're all entitled to our own opinions. That would be why people are discussing different opinions here. Singmesweet, I think Sweetestgirl was referring to the man ( mentioned earlier in this thread),who had a history of asking women out on dates to dinner,then would pretend he left his wallet behind. Hence the mention of the word," scam'.
that is the type of situation I was thinking of, yes No worries. Then it had absolutely nothing to do what anything I've said here. 
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It's just been an accepted thing that a guy pays unless he can't afford to. Then that must mean he might have problems in his life he should take care of first before seeking a relationship. I know I took out a friend for work for his birthday cause his checks go to child support but I would never date a guy like that cause he can't be there for me if I need him. I've been in relationships where money is a struggle and it always ends badly in the end so it's better to be without the relationship than to be in one that eventually goes miserable you said it perfectly, I agree I guess this may be important if you're looking for a guy to take care of you down the road and looking to make sure he has the means to do so. Im sure there are some who think about that, but I think about whether he can take care of himself down the road. He needs the means to do that if we are to have a successful relationship in my book. exactly - plus that he is not scamming you in some way with requests for money - pretty tacky as well as suspicious - "in my book" becasue these are personal preferences/opinions. there is no right or wrong here also being a divorcee' gives me a different perspective than someone never married - that is something that a younger never married woman may not consider....so each POV is unique with its own reasons How is each paying for their own a request for money or a scam? Besides, I hear so many men whining about gold diggers. What better way to show them quickly than to go dutch? I would imagine a golddigger would never go for that. 
I don't see how this has to do with whether someone has been married and divorced or not. I would think it has a lot more to do with saying one thing; asking a girl for a date which is a completely different thing than asking someone to hang-out with you and pay their own way. I hang out with male friends often but there is no "kissy face", illusion of romance, or interest in more than being friends. A guy who is such a poor planner financially that he can not plan an affordable date with out sinking his finances, or such a poor communicator that he can't just tell up front what he really wants, as far as finances for dates is pretty much a bad bet in a relationship. I get how a guy could question the fairness of having to pay but come on being decietful about making and invitation is not fair either. In an ideal world everyone of either sex would make a living wage and paying for dateing would not be such and issue but it is. I personally have no problem with reciprocateing for dates on as nearly equal basis. Not to say I don't date men who's means are sometimes triple or quadruple what I make I just don't like living beyond my means. But if some guy took me out and then switched the script not only would I have left him at the ficket counter I would have no interest him in the future regardless of his finances. |
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It's just been an accepted thing that a guy pays unless he can't afford to. Then that must mean he might have problems in his life he should take care of first before seeking a relationship. I know I took out a friend for work for his birthday cause his checks go to child support but I would never date a guy like that cause he can't be there for me if I need him. I've been in relationships where money is a struggle and it always ends badly in the end so it's better to be without the relationship than to be in one that eventually goes miserable you said it perfectly, I agree I guess this may be important if you're looking for a guy to take care of you down the road and looking to make sure he has the means to do so. Im sure there are some who think about that, but I think about whether he can take care of himself down the road. He needs the means to do that if we are to have a successful relationship in my book. exactly - plus that he is not scamming you in some way with requests for money - pretty tacky as well as suspicious - "in my book" becasue these are personal preferences/opinions. there is no right or wrong here also being a divorcee' gives me a different perspective than someone never married - that is something that a younger never married woman may not consider....so each POV is unique with its own reasons How is each paying for their own a request for money or a scam? Besides, I hear so many men whining about gold diggers. What better way to show them quickly than to go dutch? I would imagine a golddigger would never go for that.
I don't see how this has to do with whether someone has been married and divorced or not. I would think it has a lot more to do with saying one thing; asking a girl for a date which is a completely different thing than asking someone to hang-out with you and pay their own way. I hang out with male friends often but there is no "kissy face", illusion of romance, or interest in more than being friends. A guy who is such a poor planner financially that he can not plan an affordable date with out sinking his finances, or such a poor communicator that he can't just tell up front what he really wants, as far as finances for dates is pretty much a bad bet in a relationship. I get how a guy could question the fairness of having to pay but come on being decietful about making and invitation is not fair either. In an ideal world everyone of either sex would make a living wage and paying for dateing would not be such and issue but it is. I personally have no problem with reciprocateing for dates on as nearly equal basis. Not to say I don't date men who's means are sometimes triple or quadruple what I make I just don't like living beyond my means. But if some guy took me out and then switched the script not only would I have left him at the ficket counter I would have no interest him in the future regardless of his finances. Are you up front and tell men what you expect before a first date? Even when it has to do with expecting him to pay? Maybe I've been lucky, but there's never been issues on my dates having to do with money. If there were, and the focus was on money, then the date hasn't gone well anyway. |
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All I have to say is: Poooooor, poor Derekkye. 
I wonder if he'll be back. I doubt it.
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