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| Topic: First Date - who pays? | |
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Not a date: "Hey Susan, a couple friends are heading on over to (fill in random place to eat) Friday night, or hey I am heading out to random place friday night an wanted some company, are you interested?" Thats still not really clear. Safety could edit to be: "Hey Susan, a couple friends are heading on over to (fill in random place to eat) Friday night, or hey I am heading out to random place friday night and if you wanna be a part of the gang, youre certainly welcome to join us." One thing is certain...I could never go on a date if I didn’t have any money regardless of whether I was employed or unemployed.
Good on you!, I agree. Expecting someone to pay is really lowbrow IMHO. Getting it is NICE, expecting it is BAD. |
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Well you would not impress me. Anyone who goes out without the ability to pay for themselves Id see as a mooch. HOWEVER, I never concern myself with these kinds of issues, I ALWAYS offer to pay for people that "I" invite out on a "date". I'm with JB on this one if you don't want it to be a "date" then just go get coffee. Date: "Hey Susan, I was wondering if you would like to go out Friday night to (fill in the blank romantic restaurant)" Not a date: "Hey Susan, a couple friends are heading on over to (fill in random place to eat) Friday night, or hey I am heading out to random place friday night an wanted some company, are you interested?" So if not a date, its ALWAYS dutch unless I am feeling REALLY nice, otherwise if I ask you on a date, I WANT to take YOU out on the town, not ask you to take yourself out with me along for the ride lol. To me it is all about intentions. I don't make my mom pay for flowers either . . . What's the difference between the first situation and the third situation? Other than one being a romantic restaurant and the other not, I don't really see the difference. I would think both could be considered a date. |
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Edited by
MorningSong
on
Wed 11/30/11 03:53 PM
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If you are hurting for money, you can always make a picnic lunch and share that with the person you are dating. You get to show off your cooking skills (or lack thereof) and you get to show him/her how romantic you can be. That...or being so engaged in fun activities together on a date, you don't even have time to stop and eat.......and end up just grabbing a soda and sandwich to go ... |
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I went on a date last week, and suggested in a round about way that we go "dutch" on the movie we decided to see...she seemed a little surprised but then was adamant about paying for the movie tickets while I paid for the pop and popcorn. Who should pay on a first date? Man? Woman? or split?....oh yeah - there hasn't been a second date :( I gather You weren't really that "into" her, right Derek? "just a date to pass the time ", and she most likely sensed this....... Ahhhhh......but from what I've seen, a man who really 'digs" a chick, won't ever hesitate to pay. Ever. 
This is what I don't get. You don't think a man is really into you unless he's always willing to pay and never hesitates? Why does money indicate interest? What if a guy you were interested in told you that he didn't think you were interested unless you contributed toward paying for the date? What would you think? on a first date, if he asked me out? Depends on the circumstances - each situation is unique. I would think he wasn't that interested - I would question his judgement - why not invite to something he can afford? I would prefer he wait for me to offer. not sure I understand why there is any confusion or reason to debate this- no one on here has said that they would not contribute or pay at some point. But for a 1st date, no if you don't do things that way that is up to you. Do you ever wonder if the only reason they are dating you is because you'll pay? For a man - to take a responsiblity for that first (first few usually) date is how they show interest. Don;t ask me why - it's how they are so naturally I'd be a little suspicious of the agenda of a man who is asking me for money - like a scam I thought this was a interesting post and was curious as to what others thought. Ladies, do you believe that if you offer to pay, that's the only reason a guy will want to date you? Men, if a woman offers to pay, is that the only reason you'd date them? For both the ladies and men, do you think paying for the first few dates is the way men show interest? It is interesting to see that some ladies will lose interest if he does not step up and pay, though. I guess in the end, it comes down to whether money is important or not. |
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Date: "Hey Susan, I was wondering if you would like to go out Friday night to (fill in the blank romantic restaurant)" Not a date: "Hey Susan, a couple friends are heading on over to (fill in random place to eat) Friday night, or hey I am heading out to random place friday night an wanted some company, are you interested?" So if not a date, its ALWAYS dutch unless I am feeling REALLY nice, otherwise if I ask you on a date, I WANT to take YOU out on the town, not ask you to take yourself out with me along for the ride lol. What's the difference between the first situation and the third situation? Other than one being a romantic restaurant and the other not, I don't really see the difference. I would think both could be considered a date. they are both dates. he was saying he would go dutch on the third UNLESS it was a date. He said one was a date and one was not. The second situation, I could see not being a date, as it involved more people. The third seems fairly similar to the first, though. So I was asking what the difference was. |
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He said one was a date and one was not. The second situation, I could see not being a date, as it involved more people. The third seems fairly similar to the first, though. So I was asking what the difference was. Yes, but be careful of the 'if' and 'otherwise'...and it wasnt a third scenario. It was the monetary division of the two scenarios. Maybe Ive misunderstood? One involved more people, one involved him and the lady he was inviting, so I took them as being separate. |
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Not a date: "Hey Susan, a couple friends are heading on over to (fill in random place to eat) Friday night, or hey I am heading out to random place friday night an wanted some company, are you interested?" Thats still not really clear. Safety could edit to be: "Hey Susan, a couple friends are heading on over to (fill in random place to eat) Friday night, or hey I am heading out to random place friday night and if you wanna be a part of the gang, youre certainly welcome to join us." This to me would be clear that it's not a date, that it's just friends getting together. |
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I went on a date last week, and suggested in a round about way that we go "dutch" on the movie we decided to see...she seemed a little surprised but then was adamant about paying for the movie tickets while I paid for the pop and popcorn. Who should pay on a first date? Man? Woman? or split?....oh yeah - there hasn't been a second date :( I gather You weren't really that "into" her, right Derek? "just a date to pass the time ", and she most likely sensed this....... Ahhhhh......but from what I've seen, a man who really 'digs" a chick, won't ever hesitate to pay. Ever.
This is what I don't get. You don't think a man is really into you unless he's always willing to pay and never hesitates? Why does money indicate interest? What if a guy you were interested in told you that he didn't think you were interested unless you contributed toward paying for the date? What would you think? on a first date, if he asked me out? Depends on the circumstances - each situation is unique. I would think he wasn't that interested - I would question his judgement - why not invite to something he can afford? I would prefer he wait for me to offer. not sure I understand why there is any confusion or reason to debate this- no one on here has said that they would not contribute or pay at some point. But for a 1st date, no if you don't do things that way that is up to you. Do you ever wonder if the only reason they are dating you is because you'll pay? For a man - to take a responsiblity for that first (first few usually) date is how they show interest. Don;t ask me why - it's how they are so naturally I'd be a little suspicious of the agenda of a man who is asking me for money - like a scam I thought this was a interesting post and was curious as to what others thought. Ladies, do you believe that if you offer to pay, that's the only reason a guy will want to date you? Men, if a woman offers to pay, is that the only reason you'd date them? For both the ladies and men, do you think paying for the first few dates is the way men show interest? It is interesting to see that some ladies will lose interest if he does not step up and pay, though. I guess in the end, it comes down to whether money is important or not. Still curious about responses to this! |
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Shhhhhhh!
Just eat will ya? |
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Waiter check please!
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My treat!
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LISTEN UP EVERYONE MG IS BUYING>>>>>>>>>>>>So order what ya want....
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It's just been an accepted thing that a guy pays unless he can't afford to. Then that must mean he might have problems in his life he should take care of first before seeking a relationship. I know I took out a friend for work for his birthday cause his checks go to child support but I would never date a guy like that cause he can't be there for me if I need him. I've been in relationships where money is a struggle and it always ends badly in the end so it's better to be without the relationship than to be in one that eventually goes miserable
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I'd like to rephrase that!
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Fri 12/02/11 05:55 PM
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Shhhhhhh! Just eat will ya? I just thought maybe you were confusing this thread with your daddy/daughter thread. That probably would be a better place to tell people what to do. 
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I thought this was a interesting post and was curious as to what others thought. Ladies, do you believe that if you offer to pay, that's the only reason a guy will want to date you? Men, if a woman offers to pay, is that the only reason you'd date them? For both the ladies and men, do you think paying for the first few dates is the way men show interest? It is interesting to see that some ladies will lose interest if he does not step up and pay, though. I guess in the end, it comes down to whether money is important or not. Hmmmm...I never thought about the money in terms of "meaning". I always offer to go dutch in the beginning because I don't know what their financial situation is. |
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dude!!! u used da word 'date' then of course u pay!!! no question about it!! in des modern days chivalry still gets a lotta brownie points!!
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I went on a date last week, and suggested in a round about way that we go "dutch" on the movie we decided to see...she seemed a little surprised but then was adamant about paying for the movie tickets while I paid for the pop and popcorn. Who should pay on a first date? Man? Woman? or split?....oh yeah - there hasn't been a second date :( One of life's great debates/ If I've been asked out, I will offer to leave the tip. I think its only fair. But in my opinion if you actually ask someone out on a date, that kind of denotes your paying. Unless its a "hey we should hang out thing" then its up for debate, I guess. |
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