We aren't doing anything. You appear to be doing it all by yourself!

I find on this site there is a small population of maybe 15 or so men who live where I do. I do not want to be with someone who smokes so I do have that limitation.

I must of sent out a dozen emails to those I was interested in meeting and wanted to meet and only one replied to my disappointment. We exchanged a few emails and trying to meet. He says he wants to meet, the time comes are we were to but I was sick with the flu and had to cancel. I wrote to him twice after and he never replied back???

So, I have yet to get a date with anyone here. The ones who seem to send emails are in the 19 to 45 age range of which I am not interested at all in a younger man but one my own age. I do not want a long distance relationship either which I have been twice asked for being it is too much of a risk for you never know who is on truly on the other end of a long distance relationship or, what their motives truly are. Whereas, you can meet the person when dating to see or find out who the person is.

It is hard to trust people without seeing them for example, I found this in a thread just now:

Quoted: Asking for Marriage but Wants Nothing More (General Discussion)
Wed 04/18/12 06:16 AM

"Just had this e-mail relationship with a man that promised all the right things and then just also happened to want me to send him money.
Sad but very true, you have to be careful and you have to read between the lines - see where the words do not show a match to each other. Very sad not to trust someone's words and feelings expressed but you really can not."

Well I would prefer an older (my age) woman any day over a younger model. I perish the thought of having a younger woman. I want someone on the same wavelength and frame of reference with similar life experience. So we are out here. You just have to find us.

Look for friends first, get out in the world & enjoy life. If something is meant to happen, it will & if not, you will be having all the fun poss.

Now go make a life.

why is it... hard? perhaps it isn't...

Any chance you could lend a hand?

Welcome to Mingle I think there might be some English ladies around here somewhere!

I think it is hard to find someone because most of us hate to admit it is easier to find excuses as to why someone is not "perfect" or just too hard to get a relationship going with. No dating is not easy, and the first dates are pretty much interviews, but it is a process that won't happen if you don't start.

Many of us are stuck in our own little track of habits and what we think will make us happy that anyone who doesn't fit in our cookie cutter mold gets dismissed.

I say this because I had to take a long hard look at my life recently and I found several really nice guys have come along and gone because I was being picky over the dumbest things.

Not saying ignore any obvious red-flags on the play but does it really matter some of the things on your list?

And how many of us put up "no tresspassing signs" like we stopped being human beings or women just because we are Mom's, Grandmom's or Caregiver's.

Or nailed our feet to the floor because we finally got a piece of real estate in our name? What makes it home is the people who live in it and personally I think living alone is not what it is cracked up to be. I would be glad to give up some of my closet space to have someone elses shirts to sleep in lol. So what if the kids or grandkids have to drive a little further to come visit once in a blue moon?

Last but not least I think it is important to stop looking for love from jump street. What is so wrong with just going out and having a nice time with someone you like. It is too much pressure to tell a man hey you don't want to declare your allegiance before he even knows what the rules of the game are he is going to run like a scalded dog.

There are all sorts of angles to look at this question. Since we're here now looking, by default, wasn't it hard in the past? Well, maybe then we didn't think so, but now it's clear it was.

sure'nuff..it's always been hard..or maybe we just took it hard

Welcome to Mingle

yes, always...

Women are not where the men. I want to meet a woman from Kilgore,TX. That is the only qualification that I have. Where is she?
I go to a no smoking, no alcohol ,dance hall 2 times a week.

lol...if you're not ready to expand your horizons..you might have a hard time on some sites finding the woman in an exact town..just saying.
Welcome to the site.

A lot of women have a bad experience in a relationship, and go on to assume ALL men are going to treat her bad. A guy can never win. if he says to a woman "you look pretty" he's seen as a perv. if he pays no attention he must be gay. After a while men get fed up of rejection, so dont bother. Age has very little to do with it. as long as a woman has looked after herself she will get attention. It's how she handles that attention that will decide if she is to be alone.

You have some good points here..but I'd hope that if a woman is alone at our age, it's because she chooses to be alone.That doesn't mean that she may not enjoy being with a man, but she might for some reason prefer living alone.
She may or may not handle attention to someone else's liking, but it shouldn't have any bearing on the 'why' she's alone.
Welcome to Mingle!

Girls your to hard on yourselves ,I adore older women and looking too.find one''''''''''''''''

Got to AGREE with Viv here. I live alone by choice & think most people in this age group are by choice also. We get set in our ways, enjoy friends; but just don't feel the need for "marriage". Finances, kids, grandchildren & many other variables just help this feeling along. We can get so busy handling "life", just don't feel the NEED for more things to crowd into our lives.

The definition of "love" is that same process involved with choice. All comes back to what one chooses.

Could not have said it better ! Ive not dated in over 4years now. Biggest turn off is when I was asked ,,Is my house paid for , do I have a nice pension, and do my kid's get everything ! What the heck !!