hey sunshine, I'd ignore the "L" word remark

continue to rock his world and get yours

be honest and up front about what you want and what you are willing to give

as an adult he has the option to continue FWB or just stop the 'conjugal visits'



jmo

Yeah... just in denial that things might... no things will change. Thank you Fran!

I hope things do change


( women/gun thread )

He is really confused. He is not sure what he wants out of the relationship and certainly does not know what you really want.

He is openly stating that he is afraid to be hurt. This is likely a request for reassurance. However no matter how you reassure him it may well turn out poorly. If you reassure him that you are NOT looking for a relationship he will feel rejected. If you reassure him that your caring for him as a friend and/or as a lover is genuine, he may be scared that the relationship is getting too serious.

So - yeah. My guess is that he is getting emotionally involved in a big way and it scares the crap out of him and he wants you to commit first so he can relax and not commit to anything...

but it's only a guess...

sorry if this is actually as unhelpful as it sounds...

Don't have one but here is what I found online:

Friends with Benefits

A friend with benefits is someone you have sex with, no strings attached. A popular phrase for 'no strings attached' is NSA. With a friend with benefits, there are no expensive dinners, no roses, and you don't have to introduce them as your significant other. Friends with benefits is a mutually beneficial relationship with a friend or acquaintance where you don’t have to take them out on a date, but you do get to call them at 1 a.m. when the bar closes to see if they want to meet up.

Rules

There are a few rules associated with being friends with benefits. The rules of being friends with benefits must be mutually agreeable. It is important that the rules are agreed upon, because if one of you isn’t getting what you want, the relationship is worthless. If one of you starts to have feelings for the other -- well you can deal with that when and if the time comes, but remember there are many things to consider when approaching a potential friend for benefits.

Friend with benefits complications

There are some potential complications to having a friend with benefits. There is a big possibility that one of you will start to have more serious romantic feelings. If this happens, it is important to talk about it. .

Another potential complication is the crossing of boundaries. It is important to think about how you will respond if the other person starts calling at lunchtime or wants to meet your friends and family.

Protect yourself

Make sure you discuss STD's with your 'friend' and do everything you can to prevent from catching one. It is also important to ask your 'friend' if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. If they are already in a relationship with someone else, you may eventually have to deal with an angry significant other.

Herein lies the Catch 22! I think this is right on the money. So now what?




Scott~ That was very clear, good find. Thanks for posting it.

I pretty much agree with this. Although I think its ok to hang out now and again.

My big rule is after a little while....dont go and think you can change the other person. It almost always ends bad.

If you start to have feelings for that person you need to break it off right then. If not, you are no longer FWB. You will get jealous and needy of that person and as previously stated, it always ends bad.

Mayhem, what is your take on this particular situation though?

Yeah sounds like he has moved beyond FWB. Your in the driver seat now. You get to choose where this goes.

First off you need to ask him straight up if he thinks he is getting feeling for you. Remind him that your only in it for FWB. After you remind him and he seems hurt...hes definently moved passed the friends stage.


So now you get to choose what happens. If you dont want anything more then FWB....you need to break it off...even if the sex is good. If you keep it up...hes gonna think he has a chance and maybe you will change. And as stated in a previous post, things wont end nicely.

Ive been there, done that, wasnt fun.

I'm gettin the vibe, that your worried about him leaving lillith?

but remember your the female balls in your court, from the sounds of it he aian't going no where,

so only you can have your cake and eat it to ,

Dubby, I'm sending out the message that I want the hot freakin between the sheets to continue unabated.

But if he has emotions I think I deserve to know.

why Lil?

If things are decided a certain way and the other person starts to have expectations or thoughts that can create expectations.... well expectations without communication are the seeds that grow resentment. And that will end the nice set up we have going on here. It will also destroy the potential of friendship without sex.

Do you have any expectations or are you hoping/that things change into something more?
If you believe he does, ask him outright? The usage of the "Love" could have been liquor induced, could have come straight from his heart, no one knows but him. If you are truly curious ask him? (you know me, always seeing things simply)

FWB have a tendency to work for some, work for a time, and not work for others - it's a chance you take, just like being in a relationship. No guarantees whatsoever.

FWB have a tendency to work for some, work for a time, and not work for others - it's a chance you take, just like being in a relationship. No guarantees whatsoever.




I Agree with Fran

No, I don't have expectations. I think he does.

I guess I will have to see what he makes and how he acts on Friday and take it from there.

HI-ya sexy Luis.

And herein lies the potential DEATH KNELL as they say , and what exactly happen with mine...expectations changed and the whole dynamic fluctuated to where it could NOT continue.
good luck

Hi Sexy you

I know you will figure it out, you're a smart girl!!