Lack of respect for the woman. Call me old fashioned but the guy aint worth it.

Danimal, I totally agree with you because I do not believe in FWB because as a lady that sets you up in the mans eyes as being easy or someone that they could not have a serious relationship with. That's why I'm on this site trying to find a respectable man that would like to have a serious relationship.

It works for some, not for others.

sexual gratification is being met - they are just honest about it.

Sexual gratification can be from sexual toys too instead of FWB.

What ever rocks the individuals boat.

A friend with benefits to me is just someone you have sexual relations with and nothing more. There are no standard rules, each relationship has it's own set of rules, but generally it's just NSA sex.

i wonder how lilith's night went?

LOL .. hey Drew. Are you living vicariously thru Lilith's sexual pursuits

Looks to me like Drew would like to get to know Lilith, ALOT better.

If you could really accept that you weren't ok
you could stop proving you were ok.
If you could stop proving that you were ok
you could get that it was ok not to be ok.
If you could get that it was ok not to be ok
you could get that you were ok the way you are.

You're ok, get it?
--Werner Erhard

Two psychologists pass in the hall. The first says, "You're the best!"
The other thinks, "I wonder what he meant by that."

i just know that she was a bit anxious about what friday night would bring as far as conversation. and with all the talk that went on in this thread, i'm just wondering what the outcome was.

i have to live vicariously through others sexual pursuits, i have none of my own. lol

I don't agree personally. I don't believe in fwb. Friends are friends and lovers are lovers. But that is just me...and I am 53.

I don't understand what the big deal is. An FWB is just a boyfriend/girlfriend that you don't cohabitate with

I don't believe anything a man says right after sex..

I think the rules are simple really

1) I will call and or text you to see if you are up for it

2) If not, then I will find someone else for that night

3) expect no cuddling, no form of emotional commitment, just pure sex. Be in the mood before you get to the hotel.

4) An we both have the option of expecting it when we call or text.

5) No calling or texting the next day unless for sex

6) When either party has moved on either with another FWB or starts a relationship, no returning of phone calls or texting from former FWB.

7) Do not expect a FWB to turn into a relationship


I have never had a FWB but those are the rules according to a friend of mine who regularly has a FWB.

i just posted this link to the Peccy FWB thread but i thought you'd be interested in the article as well...

it is possible even common to have sex without love
but the more intimate time you spend with someone
well, the more intimate the relationship becomes

there are several studies...see for example:

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/11/03/friends-with-benefits/

this community service announcement sponsored by
s1owhand and the internet...

I don't know the answer to the original question and I don't think I care to find out. the whole thing sounds emotionally painful.

I have a very dear friend with whom I've been a FWB for almost 5 years now. We are there for each other when the need arises and we bow out in respect of the other person if one or the other becomes involved in a relationship.

We began in a "no strings" agreed relationship and it just developed into a FWB. We each had too many complications in our lives at the time, so it became simply a booty call when it was convenient for both of us. We did not talk about each other's lives or troubles, etc.. We simply got together and we would begin by talking and laughing hysterically about life in general and then we would have the hottest, most fulfilling "sex" imaginable. We never spent the night together and would hug and go home very soon afterward. We never got involved in each other's lives. If one or the other became involved in a relationship, the other would bow out and we would have no contact - in respect of the other's relationship. But we were there for each other if one needed to talk or if the relationship ended. So we were never cheating while in a relationship.

We have grown closer over the years and we "look out" for one another. But we keep our distance and understand the limits. We have a love for each other, but it doesn't include the affection that would normally be part of a love relationship. Much of that has to do with his Autism and not liking to be touched or kissed outside of sex. So perhaps that is why it works for us.

With his health failing, we have not had the sex benefits in the last year. But he's been a good friend and confidante... so that is another benefit. I do admit that there have been times when I wondered why it can't go further when we have all the other pieces to the puzzle. But I also realize I'd rather not have the final pieces of the puzzle, if it meant losing him as a friend. I personally, thrive in an affectionate relationship, so it was awkward at first for me. But since the affection was not a part of it, perhaps that is why I was able to avoid getting emotionally involved. I yearn for the hugs and the kisses and the passion of making love. It was simply not part of our agreement. But it has never been "mindless" or "emotionless". We just kept our emotions in check so as not to expect more than the other could give.

I don't think it would normally be an easy thing to do, it just worked out that way for us. It has been a great stress release for each of us - moments away from the realities and hard knocks of life, so-to-speak. But it does take discipline and a commitment to the agreement of "no strings".

That is some intriguing information. It would be improved if two factors were changed.
1. The group of respondents are under 22 years of age. Feedback from a more mature group would be helpful.
2. The author openly disbelieves that males can have sexual satisfaction in a FWBR without emotional involvement. Removing that naivette would be proper for a researcher/author.

It was an interesting read.

I was off work yesterday so I'm sorry it took so long...

We ended up having pizza and wings Friday night as he never made it to the grocery store. The plane that crashed Thursday night/early Friday morning was close to where he grew up... so he watched CNN all morning rather than go to the store.

I brought up the L word, told him I heard it and was sorry I did not respond. I asked him if he wanted to talk about it. He did not deny he said it nor did he say he did not remember saying it. But he did not want to discuss it. I said, "okay"... and just went on as though nothing was different.