Lilith my x-boyfriend hurt me badly, so I demoted him to booty-call and found I can't resurrect those feelings. They just keep diminishing!!

You're lucky you can still have sex with him. I cannot, no way, no how, have sex with someone I don't respect, unless I don't know them well enough to know I shouldn't respect them....

I just figured it would be better to keep him where I want and live my life w/o interference, but here recently there has started to be an upset in my apple cart....I can be completely unattached if I wish it.

you can't un-say something like that. any denial, whether it's outright denial or saying he doesn't remember is a sign he's

edit: too scared to step up.

i understand that the sex is great for you, but do you want to waste time with someone that you've got no future with?
i understand not wanting to be alone and i'm sure he alleviates that for you in some aspect, but i think that the time you're spending with him is time you're not spending trying to find someone you really want to be with.

But two daysago you were urging me to give him a chance???

i'm just saying that if you advance and he retreats that you've probably got no future.

if you've got feelings for him and want to give him a chance then do so. but he may cower. be prepared for that.

Hmm, okay. You mean if he denies it.

Thing is, if he wanted to discuss the matter he would not have said it all drunk and wicked late at night. I know I was on the precipice of falling asleep when I heard it. Maybe he said it out loud and thinks he only thought it....

I guess I will see what he cooks and what the dessert is. If it is one of my two favorites then there is something up. He said italian, so anything other than basic spaghetti will be a sign too.

I know you know that alcohol lowers inhibitions and fears. Some say what they think when their tongue loosens.

i've never met a person who said something out loud and thought that they had only thought it.
if he said it, he said it. alcohol has a way of allowing us to say and do things that we wouldn't normally say or do because of our reservations. that's one of the reasons it's called a liquid lubricant.

i wouldn't be looking for signs. i'd be talking it out. i don't think you should try to interpret his actions at this point. you both need to be very clear with each other. no more hints or subtlety. just get it out in the open. if everything is open and honest you'll feel better no matter what the outcome because you'll at least know where the two of you are standing.

You've never said something out loud you thought you only were thinking in your head? I have!

i have never done that. but i usually think everything through before i say it.
i have talked in my sleep, but that's completely different.

Drew, as much as I agree with what you're saying about being upfront... fact is I still don't want anything to change and I'm in denial that it already has.

This reminds me that I may have to make a phone call

Booty call?

Well...........yes

you can pretend like it never happened and let it go on as is.
if he's hurt, he'll probably just take it and go along with pretending it didn't happen. it doesn't mean that he didn't mean it.

you sound like you're getting you physical needs met and that you're not really needing anything emotional. if that's the case carry on as is.

Ohhh Ohh, you GO Pats!

lucky b@st@rd

Drew... how do I find out WITHOUT bringing it up? I am getting my physical needs met, yes... but if there can be more or he wants more, I think that should be put out there for exploration. If I din't care at all I'd not be giving this guy so much headspace.

Hiya Lilith, dropping by to see how you're doing w/FWB situation.

Getting any positive reinforcement?