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| Topic: What happened to good men 35-55? | |
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There are really wonderful men on this site!! Of all ages!: 
Yes there are!! I have chatted with some amazing men on here. 
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What happended to the good men ages 35-55 huh? Well, part of the men that age will be completely jaded by now, either through lack of luck (like me) or because some other woman ruined him for the rest of you (i.e. divorce). That's just part of them though. You see, a truly honest to god good man is easy to find, you probably already know one, but just can't see him. He's that guy that's attentive to you, helps you out when you need it, sometimes shows up with pizza and beer just to watch movies with you. Oh, you probably tell the gals "he's just a friend," but I bet if you asked, he's dying to go out with you. Now a woman's first response is usually "I don't feel that way about him." But in fact, most ladies just have never thought of having those feelings for that type of guy, and a friendship is a great place to start a relationship. So, that's where you find a few more of the "good" ones. Another place to find them, church. I'm not saying become a religious zealot by any means. But some people need the inner peace derived from sitting in a large room with 200 strangers. Meditation helps no matter where you do it, but some need that. These good men, probably aren't even on the internet dating sights. Might not have the self confidence to do it. Just remember, most truly good men have had some person in the past take complete advantage of there soft hearts, and then dump the like a bad habit when something that only appeared better came into view. These men will be cautious, emotionally conservative and rather quiet. They know they can be easily hurt and are less likely to put themselves into situations where it can happen again. If you feel you're having to wait for a guy to come around, odds are, he's a good one. Be patient, and a little agressive, you'll bag him. I think I need to start asking all my guy friends over for pizza?? |
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There are really wonderful men on this site!! Of all ages!:
Yes there are!! I have chatted with some amazing men on here.
Yep, there are some great men on here, chatted with a few...just can't find any who want to meet me... |
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There are really wonderful men on this site!! Of all ages!:
Yes there are!! I have chatted with some amazing men on here.
Yep, there are some great men on here, chatted with a few...just can't find any who want to meet me... I found one, but he's way too far away! 
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Hello..
well i feel the pain too. i joined to make some friends and hopefully,, maybe,, 1 day i get to meet somebody who will want me for who i am. im 35 years old. not getting any younger.. just getting older every year now. so.. if anybody wants to chat.. mail me and we will chat.. till then.. the Forums will have to make do lol.. |
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Oh they're out there, but just like all of us, just waiting for the 'right one'
A lot of factors prevent hooking up. location, beliefs, drinking/smoking preferences |
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Oh they're out there, but just like all of us, just waiting for the 'right one' A lot of factors prevent hooking up. location, beliefs, drinking/smoking preferences  And DON'T FORGET,,,the insane,,,not insane,,,the ex convicts,,and not ex convicts,,,,,lol
OH,,,and the weed tooters and not weed tooters,,and the drinkers and not the drinkers,, and the druggies and not the druggies,,,,,lol and THEN,,,,,,,,OH MY LANDS,,,,, The Christians and NOT THE CHRISTIANS,,,,,,,lol  Its really hopeless,,,but WE ALL TRY TO BELIEVE,wink,lol
There is someone in this world for EVERYONE of you, YOU,,,,just need to find them,wink,lol 
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I'm new here but i do have an opion on where are all the good men 35 to 55...maybe the question should be(what am I doing wrong not to attract the men 35 to 55!!) Most people myself included are looking for that special friend that might turn out to be the love of your life. Personally I find a lot of ladies that are fantastic but not what i am looking for, being close to 50 I know what I want and I really don't want to settle. Maybe you think like me and you don't want to settle either..so the answer is easy YOU just haven't found the right guy....
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What happended to the good men ages 35-55 huh? Well, part of the men that age will be completely jaded by now, either through lack of luck (like me) or because some other woman ruined him for the rest of you (i.e. divorce). That's just part of them though. You see, a truly honest to god good man is easy to find, you probably already know one, but just can't see him. He's that guy that's attentive to you, helps you out when you need it, sometimes shows up with pizza and beer just to watch movies with you. Oh, you probably tell the gals "he's just a friend," but I bet if you asked,  he's dying to go out with you. Now a woman's first response is usually "I don't feel that way about him." But in fact, most ladies just have never thought of having those feelings for that type of guy, and a friendship is a great place to start a relationship. So, that's where you find a few more of the "good" ones.
Another place to find them, church. I'm not saying become a religious zealot by any means. But some people need the inner peace derived from sitting in a large room with 200 strangers. Meditation helps no matter where you do it, but some need that. These good men, probably aren't even on the internet dating sights. Might not have the self confidence to do it. Just remember, most truly good men have had some person in the past take complete advantage of there soft hearts, and then dump the like a bad habit when something that only appeared better came into view. These men will be cautious, emotionally conservative and rather quiet. They know they can be easily hurt and are less likely to put themselves into situations where it can happen again. If you feel you're having to wait for a guy to come around, odds are, he's a good one. Be patient, and a little agressive, you'll bag him. I think I need to start asking all my guy friends over for pizza?? It's true that a lot of us with "tender hearts" have been used & dumped, so we're a bit cautious. But, the best advise I can give (to everyone) is just be yourself, and let TIME show you the real person. A lot of profiles seem too good to be true - but if you never take the time to get to know the person, how do you know that the person's profile does or doesn't accurately reflect who the person is? And please, write more than 2 sentences about yourself. A person who is truly looking for a mate, and knows what they want, will skip over a really short profile a lot of times because there's no substance to it. It's like "Why bother, this person hasn't" IMHO Just be patient, be happy with yourself, spend time with friends, and hopefully one day soon we'll all find our perfect mutual match :) Tony |
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Did you not read my post LOL!!
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For crying out loud, what the heck is wrong with you people- answer an e-mail, send an e-mail, nudge someone, pick up the phone, say hi- and put your insecurities away for ten minutes.
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The nicest ones have the least "game", which is just fine. Nice guys rule! They're not seeking everyone's approval, just yours. They spend more time worrying about having good character than impressive stories. They notice when you dress up. They're FUNNY! You just have to pay attention to notice sometimes. Nice guys so do not finish last. And I think in the thirties or forties, nice guys may have had their hearts broken, too, just like us ladies, and had to make the tough decision on whether to become defensive and cynical, or to stay open and loving. Go nice guys!! Woot!
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Edited by
kennywee
on
Sat 12/26/09 08:09 AM
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I am smack in the middle of 35-55. I started young, I was 6yrs her minor, been married to her for 19+ yrs, and been with her 26yrs. You couldn't find a more supportive husband and father, or at least I thought so, been there for her every step of the way, did everything I thought and knew was right yet in the end it all APPEARED to have had no value.
The signs were all there even before we were married, but I was blinded by love or what I thought was. Then the harsh reality came home one day. I realized that I have been used for all those years. Now, at 45, and divorcing, it may not be that easy for me to open up my heart again to another woman even tho am willing to. I'm constantly reminded by the memories, so am extremely cautious as I certainly don't want to go back down that road. I know I have to let it go and I will, I just need to be convinced that am doing the right thing. So the nice guys are still definitely out there, you just gotta look carefully and pay attention to small details. Maybe you probably need to be just a bit more aggresive too. But don't give up because that just be moment you missed out on having one darn nice guy. |
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What happened is the world is waiting for March when I turn 35
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The nicest ones have the least "game", which is just fine. Nice guys rule! They're not seeking everyone's approval, just yours. They spend more time worrying about having good character than impressive stories. They notice when you dress up. They're FUNNY! You just have to pay attention to notice sometimes. Nice guys so do not finish last. And I think in the thirties or forties, nice guys may have had their hearts broken, too, just like us ladies, and had to make the tough decision on whether to become defensive and cynical, or to stay open and loving. Go nice guys!! Woot!  with this...
I like the real view you painted,,,thank you..
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For crying out loud, what the heck is wrong with you people- answer an e-mail, send an e-mail, nudge someone, pick up the phone, say hi- and put your insecurities away for ten minutes. he hit the nail very squarely on the head. i read through this thread. i see all these posts saying 'chatted with' 'spoke to' 'emailed.' but not much that says 'met' or 'dated.' and the ones that do are along the lines of 'wasn't what i was looking for.' the prob is that too many people really don't know what they're looking for. sure, dating can help you figure it out but don't blame the opposite sex cuz of your insecurities and indecisiveness. if you're simply dating around or whatever else, then just fess up to it and do that till you know you're good and ready for something real and lasting. 9 times out of 10 for people that date around and are 'speaking to' multiple people, it ain't the other person that's the problem. |
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 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
Y'all have a wonderful and safe New year. Rhon'Lynn =0) |
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GOOD MEN,,are just like GOOD WOMEN..
BOTH are GOOD till they live long enough to be HURT, THEN, they become BAD to many as their NOW ACTIONS, STATEMENTS, LOOKS,,,THEIR--ALL, are DAMAGED by what ONE person did to THEM... And the MORE they go through being hurt again and again,,THEY WILL CHANGE. And GOOD is ALWAYS ones on interpretation..... IF you lined up ten GOOD men, and on the other side of the room, ten GOOD women,,,There is the CHANCE,,,that NO-ONE will like even ONE of the other gender as to MAKE a couple.... 
SO,,,,,,,,,SO much for GOOD GUYS and GALS...... 
ITS ALL,,,in if they feel the CLICK,,the BOND, the LOVE.... And IF they feel this each toward the other,,,, Good or crappy,,,,THEIR,,,,,,,,THERE!!!!!! IN-LOVE and nobody will Deni their unity,,,,,especially,,,THEM,wink
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For crying out loud, what the heck is wrong with you people- answer an e-mail, send an e-mail, nudge someone, pick up the phone, say hi- and put your insecurities away for ten minutes. he hit the nail very squarely on the head. i read through this thread. i see all these posts saying 'chatted with' 'spoke to' 'emailed.' but not much that says 'met' or 'dated.' and the ones that do are along the lines of 'wasn't what i was looking for.' the prob is that too many people really don't know what they're looking for. sure, dating can help you figure it out but don't blame the opposite sex cuz of your insecurities and indecisiveness. if you're simply dating around or whatever else, then just fess up to it and do that till you know you're good and ready for something real and lasting. 9 times out of 10 for people that date around and are 'speaking to' multiple people, it ain't the other person that's the problem. Absolutely! My philosophy is just throw your @ss out there and take the chance. Hate to bust peoples bubbles but, if you ain't leaving the house...odds of finding love drop like a bag of hammers. Not saying that it CAN'T happen....cause it has happened to me...twice. But, I notice that the people who play it safe and really cling to thier cautious, self-protection mode....are in for a very long time alone. (don't give me that look.......every last person on this site has been done dirty and been hurt...the trick is to take the risk of being hurt again) |
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I just recently got into the dating scene. I saw an attractive woman at the bar and asked if I could buy her a drink, she told me no guy has ever bought her a drink before. Is this not acceptable anymore?
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