Depends on the posting & the topic. Some stuff just lends itself to humorous/non serious replies & some posting you can see are made in earnest...that's when you check out the profile. Sometimes you are surprised to find what's in it based on the postings giving you a completely different impression of what this guy/gal is about.

Also I think that's why other genders than you're preferred one come up on "viewed me" - b/c it's someone of the same gender looking you up based on something you said LOL! Doesn't help find a date though...

Hi Ladybuglove420,

The reason you're getting so many out of state & ahem..."badly worded" messages is that they're coming from scammers in other countries who don't speak English as 1st language, they were taught in their version of elementary school just the basics. Unfortunately that limited version is enough for them to get on sites like these to try to start scamming. Also look out for "Native American" & "widowed" & "military as profession". They always choose these in their profiles LOL!

I did meet 2 real guys (local) here during this year, unfortunately they were not right but just hang in there. I keep trying & so should you. Good luck :-)

Being alone is ok until it's not. If everyone around you is coupled up & happy, naturally you do think "wtf is wrong w/me, am I undesirable (maybe more so if you're female)". However if you have a huge group of single friends & there is always something to do w/them on the weekend...you don't miss a RS so much. It's when you see the gradual "disappearance" of friends as they get into their RS's & stop hanging out w/single folk (which is normal), that you begin to get that feeling that you are definitely missing something.

I've been to the movies alone, it's cool unless you sit in the back thinking you won't be bothered but that's where the teens/20's sit in order to make out/do everything short of penetration...tip: also don't go the 1st 2 weeks the movie's out.

Dinner in a restaurant alone: tricky - w/your tablet or whatever device you can eat your meal w/o even looking up at all the other paired up diners but...what was the point in going out to dinner then - might as well have stayed in w/Mac-n-cheese? Also, here in NY waiters don't like single tables - less tips for the same work.

Never been to a bar alone...I know women do it but I'm old fashioned enough to think it does make you look like a target for all the drunken men to hit on.

Also, in the end...is alone & happy better than being out w/someone or worse in a RS w/someone & wanting to be single again? If you're w/your SO & looking at everyone else thinking they are happier...you SHOULD be single then & available for the right person.

Glad you updated your profile. It will help w/real life women. You will still get LOTS of scammers. They will be the ones with pics of 20 y.o. girls in bikinis who will be listed as "widows" w/children LOL! (as if that body in the pic ever had a baby); they will also be in another country (on military duty ) but sending you messages as if they are already in love with you,& will want to message off site immediately. Be careful, don't be discouraged & good luck.

I've changed my mind (for today anyway). Just saw something under Yahoo -article listing some of the bf's/so's of the Victoria Secret "Angels" models. Some of the guys were somewhat attractive but I noticed that there were only 3 listed as either husbands or fianc�s, the rest were just under the title of boyfriend.

So, if these physically desirable women aren't in committed (ie marriages)relationships, they are they settling too? Today he's my bf, tomorrow he might not be & I'm getting another one type of thinking?

Well...it just so happens that most of the "crude" work humans do, (aside from things like building/repair of sewers or the mortuary/medical industry)has oddly enough fallen to GASP!"women".

1. Midwifery (all aspects of childbirth from start to finish)

2. Taking care of the sick/aging/dying (including the washing & dressing of bodies when those things were still done in the home).

3. Food preparation (the steps involved in getting an animal to the table from it's live state: eccccch!)

All of these are very very very messy & yes crude jobs. So...what comes off as crude is just a millennium of enforced training, that has become 2nd nature. I for one am definitely willing to give it all up & become too dainty for such things. The men will wind up w/no children, sick & diseased, & hungry; but I think it's worth it to get this "crude" label off the female resume.

:-)

We didn't lose it, we're handing it over to you for free...see how it all works out. Oh wait what do you mean it's not a valued ability b/c you don't get paid for it...what do you mean you don't want it...it was good enough for us!

The line to court a Duggar daughter starts here...LOL!

Hi again, thanks for all your insights. What really did surprise me was the low number of selections from my advanced search - 16? OLD really is a numbers game. Now I know how those people feel who say they are from a small town & there is no one available for them to date. I can see how affairs between married people get started LOL!

Yes "settled" may be a harsh term coming from a single woman but...if something about your mate bothers you every day or there is a trait lacking that you notice regularly & there's been no change well...if you stay then that's settling to me. You've weighed the pros & cons & decided it's less trouble to put up w/it than not. There is no denying that it changes how you view & value the other person. It could be anything: sex, personal habits, confidence (you'd be surprised how many of my successful friends wish their men were making more $$ than them or doing something to TRY to make more $$, it's not even about the $, what I hearing is a lack of ambition, drive or this lack of confidence comes out in other areas of the RS). Men think the same things too. For example the 50 y.o. men who divorce after 20 years of marriage & then marry 22 y.o. model/aspiring actress etc., they won't "settle" for a woman closer to their own age, if they can get someone more attractive.

Anyway...had another scammer (even they won't settle!) today so I'm back on track LOL! Have a good Friday night...

Just did an "advanced search" on this site: where you put in the specs. for everything you want incl. religion/hair/kids: real detailed. 16 men came up in the results, using the 15 mile filter, out of the profiles of 5 that were physically attractive to me there were no interests/lifestyles in common. So, back to blocking scammers.

I also don't find any of my gf's husbands/boyfriends attractive at all, does that mean that all of these intelligent, successful women just settled based on personality traits over physical attraction? To hear them talk each of their guys has specific problems they deal with regularly as to behavior etc...so what was the point of settling if you can't say EVERYTHING about him is great except for one thing. Seems like if it's more than one thing then everyday will be a compromise with this person? (& yes I know that my friends may not be telling me the whole story but I'm basing this on what I do know about them).

Can it really be that hard to find someone that I will enjoy spending time with both dressed AND naked? Oh, BTW the second man I've met through this site (1st used a decade old photo & he didn't age well) intimated that I might enjoy going to a gun range (one of his hobbies NOT listed in his profile). Sighhhh...

Hi Jaimie,

If you're in college then perhaps there are some ways to meet guys your own age there? Are there any types of social groups, clubs in college that you could join? I don't know much about Ontario but my impression of Canada is that outside of the big cities (Montreal etc) it really is small towns with lots of road between each one. With a small town you have a small pool of available partners & of those the best ones get taken early. So, you either settle or find a bigger pool, & no one should settle.

Not to hijack the Amazon thread into a political one but: I'm glad to be American. This thanksgiving holiday I read an article on the things immigrants/tourists etc, visiting America for the 1st time were amazed at. These were people from "westernized" Europe, not refugees from war torn "3rd world" countries, & it was from just last year, not 50 years ago. Reading it made me grateful to be where I am. We take for granted so much here. Yes we have racial issues & healthcare issues & lots of other things that need fixing but we are still the country that other people are literally dying to get into. England/Germany/France/Saudi Arabia/China etc...none of these countries have the #'s of immigration that we do...must be doing something right if everyone wants to get in, & will risk everything to do it :-)

Back to Amazon thread...

LOL; Haven't met a man yet that can pick me up or make me feel protected. Most guys are shocked by the muscles I have as a woman but then again I do weight lift where as the men I meet don't do much more than sit on the couch and drink beer.


Yep: their "weightlifting" is that they "wait" 'til the commercials to "lift" their beers to drink. Speaking of: here in the US on a Sunday for the NFL football games: the entire series of commercials are for cars, fast food & erectile dysfunction pills. LOL!! If the men would get up OFF the couch for exercise/activities other than driving their cars to the fast food places they wouldn't NEED the pills! Sighhhh.....

I think "Amazon" is a good term. Wonder Woman is one :-) & we generally don't put up w/anything we don't want to b/c we can't be intimidated physically by most men.

On the downside, I've resigned myself to the fact that I won't ever be picked up & carried anywhere by a man. It's just annoying to have to reject men who I could pick up & carry!

It would be so nice to be w/a man who makes me feel literally protected b/c he's much taller & has a strong build.

Really, really, really irritated. Esp. since the only men who seem to view/messg. my OLD profiles are 5'8" or shorter! I guess the tall men want a petite woman b/c they are usually skinny too & that's attractive to men but I just don't see how the physical portion of the RS works out?

Yes Philip you should...give them an email address & at the least you'll get spam & the worst some kind of comp. virus or spyware invasion. You can always tell by the grammar & syntax usage.

Personally,since I'm in NY I get the ones from locations listed under where ever town New York & there is no such county/location in New York State,(in the beginning I actually used to try to look up the names of the locations - found out there IS actually an Alabama, NY LOL).

I get about 2-3 scammers a week, but no real men as far as my location & preferences go, oh well...

You have a good range of pictures & you filled out the profile info too. You seem like a real person (not a scammer). You are giving women who view you something to work with. Best of luck on this site.

Your pics are all selfies...nothing wrong with that but to an educated man your profile will either be interpreted as a scammer or as a young foreign woman in a repressive country who wants to get an American/European man to get her OUT of the country (green card or visa)

Really now, we all know there are police in Iran whose job it is to just walk around arresting young women who aren't wearing hijabs in public. That knowledge combined w/your statements about not liking rules & wanting to travel is telling men that you are not interested in Iranian males but only guys out of the country...your intentions may be one thing but you're profile sends an entirely different message. Be careful & good luck.

You're 19...as far as I understand it the 19 y.o. girls of today ARE experienced - way more than most older women who didn't grow up w/Tinder, online porn, & FWB's & hookup culture.

You will have a "fun night" (from your profile) with someone your own age who enjoys the same things & has the same mindset as you do. Older women don't want what you want.

I'm glad you're saving $ on the wardrobe. Just remember not to stand up during any video online meets or when skypeing :-0

Hi ChooChoo,

The basic rule of online dating (for BOTH genders) is that appearance catches the eye & then the profile gets read. In real life (IRL)someone meets you & gets to know you based on your personality & you can become attractive based on that but in OLD (online dating) it doesn't happen that way.

OLD short circuits the appeal that someone might have beyond their physical appearance. Lots of couples will say that they were not interested in each other but they "became attracted" to each other once they got to know each other. This means that looks wise one or both didn't like what they saw but by talking & spending time w/each other there was a gradual psychological change in how physically attractive the person started to seem to them (like going from a 4 to an 8 on the attractiveness scale). This can't happen w/o long term in person interaction: OLD does not allow for that.

On the other hand...you are getting an actual & basic honest reaction from women who don't respond to your messages...they are honestly saying they don't find you attractive physically & they don't want to bother getting to know you based solely on that criteria. If you are honest w/yourself you will admit that you would do the same if you're contacted by a female that you found unattractive for whatever reason. It happens to everyone in OLD. Keep trying (btw there are SO MANY scammers on this site). Good luck