I check the NY forum weekly...between the guys wanting to "kik" & the ahem..."ladies" looking for someone to host, it's not really happening here.

This is a no win situation for you, OP...yes, I think we would all like to know if our breath offends when involved in something that brings us physically close to another human (like dancing), but there is absolutely no way to "tell" someone w/o offending them at some level.

Oddly enough I find that when people are having fun with an activity they are into, that's when they are most unselfconscious about themselves. This is a good thing b/c you can see a little of what they are really like as a person b/c their guard is completely down. This is a bad thing b/c by getting "lost" in whatever activity it is, at least for women, that is when you don't realize that your hair/makeup/clothes...& even breath, can be messed up...LOL!

You are sending the message out that you are fun & enjoy life, while at the same time giving a less than desirable physical image...(another reason I'm glad I didn't go to clubs when I was younger)

I agree w/Ciretom: it's strictly physical actions that will give my endocrine system a jolt. After all, words are what the scammers use to prey on people so how could a verbal come on ever match an actual physical one. (exception are people already in real relationships who are occasionally separated by distance & send each other sexy emails or do that phone sex thing).

I guess I'm looking for a vampire b/c I know that if my neck is kissed I'm pretty much his (at least for a while).

I think the part that interferes with women & men noticing red flags is the "now think you are madly in love" part of it. During the "honeymoon" phase of a new relationship there are lots of hormones racing through your body. You physically change when you are with someone you are still new to & very physically attracted to & having some form of intimate physical contact with. This will mess up your logical thinking.

It is only after a settling in period that the "quirks" or "traits" begin to go from cute to red flag material. So...red flags don't get noticed early on but need to be addressed immediately after the "butterflies" have flown away LOL.

For some the honeymoon period is much shorter so they get wiser to the other's incompatibility with them much much faster.

Of course in OLD red flags can appear with the first typed message you receive so it is foolish to ignore those when you have no excuse (haven't met in person yet). I personally will put up with a red flag behavior (and only one, not more than one) only if I'm extremely attracted to them & I am sexually satisfied. Other than that...no way would I ignore any of my own red flag issues in a real world relationship.

Yes Mystique80, this site is very much a center for scammers. Everyone says to be active in the forums, but that wont help you find a date since the forums are populated by nice folks who live in other states or countries LOL!

The people who actually send you any messages are not generally the ones you are looking for. As for the scammers, it's very easy to tell by their spelling/syntax & the fact that they always want to "Yahoo messenger" or want to message off site immediately. Update your settings to filter out who can send you messages & keep on looking in the real world b/c that is where success usually lies. On line dating is only supposed to be used as a supplementary tool, not the only access when looking for dates. Perhaps put in your profile that you will never send anyone $, or that you are unemployed LOL! May help weed out the scammers. In over a year I have only gotten 2 messages from "real" men on this site who were local. Every single other one has been from scammers.
Sighhhhh....

Yes, in OLD I started out as a bit wary of anyone younger, or wary of answering a message from a nice profile but pic was not attractive to me.

Now I absolutely don't answer the younger ones or any that are not attractive to me. I have learned from experience to be even stricter in my requirements. I found that it's not going to work if I'm not.

Younger guys are looking at older woman for the following reasons IMO:

1. They think an older woman will be "flattered" by the attention of a younger man & therefore willing to just jump into sex, ONS, hookup...

2. They think an older woman is settled & has her own place, so they can come over & "hang out" (means a booty call) or even worse spend the night. They are still living at home w/their parents & so are the females their age so it is hard to "get some" with age appropriate females b/c of the living situation. Older woman are the "D" list in terms of what younger guys really want but for most sex with less physically appealing women is still sex as opposed to no sex at all.

3. They are looking for a sugar mama, plain & simple. This can be avoided by the older woman if she specifically rules out any guys who are in college/living at home/working part time etc...if she does choose younger men they should be fully employed & at least living away from home in a roommate situation to start out with...even better if they are fully independent. That way she can be sure they won't try hitting her up for cash & will be able to pay their own way on vacations or even dinner out...

It's all about socio-economic conditions and testosterone driven sexual imperatives...

I miss going out...dates...fun things on the weekend instead of just chores & then home...

OMG...they got a dog character & then KILLED it...I'm not watching anymore (the horse thing in the 1st episode of TWD was bad enough!)

Sitka, thanks for the compliment...btw, how do you update your age on this site...there is no entry for it under Account > edit profile, so unlike real life I've been 47 for a year & 3 months now LOL!

Crystal/Blondey, I see your points but the truth of the matter is I'm simply too vain to post a bad pic & all the selfies I've tried are BAD...I don't have a camera & I'm flat out not investing in one, my cell (Virgin Mobile Kyocera not even made anymore) doesn't have a timer or a tripod attachment & a new phone is not in the budget anytime soon :-(

So, either I get a photo taken of me when I look good by a friend or I don't. Another block for me is the whole OLD concept itself...I'm all for the 30 minute investment of time after work or on the weekend to meet in person. You can't actually DATE online, so I want to get to the 1st meet ASAP, since that is how I really tell if I'm attracted or not. I've been fooled once by a man's photo, so I need to see the person IRL. An exchange of photos is really a waste of time to me, if I get to the meet & I don't like them anyway? I've never attracted the guys who like women in bikinis (the perfect OLD photo for a woman to post to get potential views & messages) even when I was 27, so I'm not aiming for that demographic in OLD now LOL. My complaint is why are the men asking for more photos by the 3rd message? Shouldn't we both be trying to negotiate a meet up by then? In OLD looks count & I just thought that if they messaged me 1st, then my "look" in the photo fit their preference, so that part of the OLD dance is taken care of already?

Oh, I forgot to say I do know that OLD also has the subspecies of weirdo male & (female) who are "picture collectors". But there's no real way to know beforehand if the person is that or not, & I don't want to assume the worst based on one request for additional photos.


:-)

It has happened to me on every OLD site: I get contacted (or do the contacting), we message (insert nonspecific small talk here), then he will always ask for more pictures. Grrrrr....

I don't have any pictures. I was unemployed a while & stayed home just going out for chores & the very rare interview. Just recently got a temp. job, so now I go to work & go home (+ chores). That is my life, which is why I'm doing OLD.

I don't go out w/friends (miniscule social circle comprised of all married females/w kids who lives many many miles away, I don't drive, etc..). So as I see it, if I'm not going out to parties or events w/friends, just where would I take a photo? Who would take it? The photos on this site are from when I was in school in 2014 & at a friends house for a once a year get together at the holidays in 2014. Don't suggest selfies, tried it...I look horrible AND a selfie is usually from the "chest up" & I understand that men want to see the body so they can make a decision about whether or not to meet. They know the old game women try with a dozen selfie pics is just trying to obscure some bad body trait below the chest LOL!

So...after I tell the man I don't have any more pics to send: end of messaging. Sighhh...I don't understand. If they weren't interested in the pic I already have, they wouldn't have messaged or responded to my message?

Just saw the 1st 2 episodes of FTWD: these people (at least how the characters are written in the story line so far) are just too stupid to live...I just don't root for any of them.

I feel like the story line so far is meandering & TWD did most of the plotlines already: people not knowing what the zombies are, not wanting to believe the dead bodies are up & walking, families separated & in peril blah blah blah...

Z nation on SyFy is ridiculous in its own way, but at least they've got that cool husky dog at the NSA artic station. In my opinion FTWD needs a good dog character LOL!

To OP: I guess I think of Hawaii as a single man's paradise. Good weather & beautiful women in bikinis at the beach (at least when you're not working). No lack of potential partners even if a majority may be tourists only there for a week LOL! (for some men that is truly paradise)

Aside from the hurricanes, volcanoes, earthquakes & subsequent tsunamis it must be a great place to live, work & date esp. since there are lot more opportunities for outdoor activities if you like those. Like some parts of California, but without the wildfires?

On this site you will just have to get used to the "scamsters", but they seem to be creeping into all the free sites, so perhaps a trial subscription to a paid site might be something you want to try at sometime. Good luck.

Yes I could date a non-drinker as I am one myself. I once got rejected by a guy I messaged "hi" to, on another site. His profile stated he enjoyed fine dining & fine wines. There was other stuff in his profile that I found interesting which is why I messaged him. He messaged me back saying that since my profile stated I didn't drink, and that was part of his fine dining experience as well as going to wine bars, he was only looking for someone who could appreciate that. Oh well...I guess it would be gauche if I asked for a soda in a wine bar. We were not compatible as to lifestyle interests is all.

BTW, OP you stated "every woman I know drinks"???, does that mean drinking to the point of inebriation or just a glass of wine with dinner. If getting drunk is the main point of their evening out, then no...not a match for you. However, no one, drinker or non-drinker, should have to feel like the other person is judging them for their choice or that their choice is an issue making the other person uncomfortable. If you know X girl drinks heavily when she goes out...just don't go out with her. Perhaps Y girl who only has one beer the whole night would be a better choice. Even better...can you arrange for a date where there will be no food/alcohol issues at all - go to a museum or the zoo...stuff you do in the daytime usually has less of a chance to involve alcohol.

Good luck

Hi Notbeold,

It does suck being "friend zoned" all the time. Funny thing is most romantic comedies you see in the movies are built around the premise of the "friend" winding up at the love of the other person's life...pure unadulterated b.s.

Still, you can't blame women or men for liking what/who they like in terms of physical traits...I'm a height queen myself...but I've never put up w/d-head behavior just b/c the guy fit my height requirements...that's just dumb. In fact I reject physically good looking guys online b/c their profiles don't fit what I'm looking for. Some ladies will never learn though, but I hope they are as good of a friend to you as you are to them, in terms of giving a shoulder to cry on.

Don't know what Adelaide Australia is like but in terms of dating, one thing is universal: it's a numbers game & you have to keep trying. Have a good weekend.

If I laugh at this...I have to turn in my membership to the Modern Womens Federated Union Feminist Chapter/Local 5011...

I think it's a combination of socio-economics with a little racism thrown in for good measure. In America, in the urban areas, almost all the supermarket cashiers are young teenaged or not really older than 25 y.o. black women. I know...I worked in one for 2 years...& it was in a Westchester County well to do suburb.

Economically retail stores want to pay minimum wage AND no more than 18-20 hours a week. So...who will accept p/t and minimum wage? Teenagers living at home, college student who need the flex. schedules, mothers who need to be off at 2:30 to pick up their kids from school AND (at least here in NY), those on public assistance who have been assigned to the jobs by their case workers because of federal mandates that you must be "employed" in order to continue receiving benefits. The case workers want to close their cases & cashier jobs are perfect for that. These positions will never lead to actual careers & f/t employment that will get the person OFF pub. assistance. Same with McDonalds AND Walmart.

So...you have a pool of employees who are completely unmotivated to do well, since there is no opportunity for them in the "fields" they have been shunted to. There is a higher proportion of non-whites in this pool...so, to the white people who are well employed & spending 2 - 3 times the cashiers weekly salary on THEIR weekly grocery bill alone...it appears to them that all these minorities are bad workers. But...I don't see them giving up their good jobs or sending their privileged white teens to work in the same stores??? I actually heard my white manager talking on the phone to someone at the cust. serv. desk & she said "oh..no way would I let my kids work here"....WTF???

So...economics + society + racism = poor customer service in the name of low prices & high profits for the retail industry...think about that the next time you complain to the cashier that xyz on your bill is too high.

Oh... don't get me started on the proposed $15/hour min. wage thing in the news a while ago...can you see the retail industry saying "great, this is good for the economy b/c we're going to hire 2x as many people" Of course they will at: 12 hour maximum weekly shifts LOL! No employees will benefit...

Age happens to everyone. Maturity...that has to be acquired.

In a literal sense: I've been told that if you hold a mirror perpendicular to another mirror (like holding a hand mirror to the bathroom mirror on the wall), you actually get a different physical view of yourself than looking at your own reflection in just one mirror. That's supposed to show what you look like to another's visual perception.

P.S. yes, it's a weird angle to try to view a reflection from.