Meatloaf's "Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad"

Bonnie Raitt "I Can't Make You Love Me"

Ray Price "For The Good Times"

& if you are moving out due to the break up you can play "Moving Out" by Billy Joel while you pack up & throw the keys over your shoulder at your ex...

Dear OP: your profile is very straightforward & no-nonsense. "Millenial" males will not suit your dating needs as outlined in your profile though, especially on the financially stable requirements (not in this economy).

Younger men will have the physical attributes of fitness, like to travel & many of that generation don't smoke BUT: they may be living at home or sharing with roommates & trying to get out from student loan debt. They can't afford to "wow" females their own age, with only their bodies & no $$, bc they are competing with lots of other good looking healthy male bodies for those females. So, they are hoping their physical attractions will get them some sex with an attractive older woman for free, plan B if you will.

They want Netflix & chill...you want a long weekend in Aspen...see where the disconnect is?

They "ghost" after one date bc after having in person convo/meeting w/you they realize they can't b.s. you...them months later they text or phone you hoping you are receptive to just a hook-up...hoping you have been worn down by the online dating process & will take "breadcrumbs"...don't give up...their must be some fit & successful non-LDS men near your age in Utah...good luck in your search.

There are physical reasons (age/physical appearance) that can make a person "undateable"

There are socio-economic reasons as well (where they live, what they do for work/how much $$ they make, their religion, their culture/family etc).

There are people that are "undateable" if you define dating as meeting someone & going out somewhere & having a nice time. That doesn't mean they can't have relationships, but usually they are confined to electronic relationships over the internet via Facebook, FaceTime/Skype etc. not ones where there will be physical meeting of any kind.

Right now I'm "undateable" bc of my focus on work & apt. hunting...I'm not interested in doing much else until I have secured those goals...

Sometimes "undateable" is permanent & sometimes it is temporary

Doesn't matter the gender: the personality, habits & schedules are the rules when it comes to roommates:

2 neat freaks can't live together bc they will never be satisfied w/how clean the other one keeps the place (or the shared spaces like kitchen/bathroom/living rm

2 slobs can't live together bc both will be unable to find anything they need for daily living (like keys/clean clothes etc) in the mess they both make

Pet lover/non pet lover: never gonna work

One who works 5pm to 12pm & one who works 9-5: in general different shifts sounds like its good but in practice that doesn't work either: you are asleep & have to get up at 6:30 for your 9-5 while your roommate is just coming in at 1/2 a.m. & will be deep in sleep while you are making noise in the morning getting ready - not good

Full time employed/pt employed or student: the finances always come up short for the one with sketchy income & then the rent doesn't get paid & then no roommate problem bc no apt. to have a roommate in LOL...

Living alone is best until you find the person who will be your partner either marriage or living together. The inclusion of a "relationship" i.e. love/sex etc. seems to help even out all of the bad habits of the other person so that you will put up with them whereas when living w/someone strictly as roommates, you will not put up with the same bad habits.

OP: sex can lead to babies which cost $$$. So that is why some women are more interested in $$ bc of the need to provide for a family. A so-called "gold-digger" is just a female who is trying to plan ahead for economic benefit. Men think about $$ a lot too, but no one calls them gold-diggers? Men are called "ambitious"...smh

Orgasms are great but you can't bring them to a bank as collateral for a loan & they don't build equity LOL...

(ps...my viewpoint is skewed bc I've been apt. hunting a lot lately, for me personally my goal is making money, in order to afford a good apt...)

I always thought that phrase was based on the physical looks of the couple? One example is the sitcom "king of queens" the wife's character(Carrie) was pretty, petite & fit. The husbands character (Doug)was overweight, & sedentary. In the real world Carrie would have been out of Doug's league, bc of the disparity in their physical appearances.

Isn't that how men in general try to figure out how to approach women, the women who look like models don't get asked out by the guys who look like shlubs...the men avoid rejection that way...

Idk...in the 50's 60's 70's there were strict rules about dating, marriage, divorce etc. (the pressure to marry at a certain age, to a certain type of person depending on demographics etc).

Women & men married at a younger age than now & reproduced earlier too. Up until the 70's women were far more likely to quit their jobs once the 1st child came along etc.

People met people from socio-economic groups similar to themselves, in locations near to them (no internet to find love w/someone across the country much less across an ocean, who maybe spoke a different language or was a different religion/race).

Seems to me there was a general idea of "good enough" when it came to finding/accepting a spouse. Nowadays b/c of the internet...no one is good enough b/c the next click could show you someone better...

Humans still want love & acceptance from "the one", how we go about finding that "one" has changed drastically...with more choices comes more hesitation at deciding who is "the one"...

Just the very nature of the time spent w/the person in/out of office spells doom for most "dating a person from work" relationships.

You see them 8 hours a day & then after work too? After the initial attraction/lust thing is done, it's just too much togetherness for most people.

Also, you might find out their work personality is different from their "real" personality. That will put an end to the dating too.

Socio-economically, how likely is it that you would find someone who is aligned horizontally w/your position (not vertical meaning above or below you in pay/job position etc) AND who works in a different department so you don't have actual work interactions, therefore eliminating office gossip about "oh you know how she got her promotion" (& yes, in this day & age it is still assumed the woman slept her way to the top if revelations of interoffice relations come out). A boss will always come out of any "scandal" w/their job intact or a transfer. A subordinate will be fired.

I got moved to a window seat at my office (small <20 employees) & had to deal w/comments about my "special treatment" & that was just over a window seat...LOL, no way would I date a fellow employee at any job...way too much that could go wrong.

Quite frankly, I don't think any man or woman can handle the physical comparison to their current partner's ex when it refers to intimate body parts.

Please spare yourself the drama & never bring it up: current lover will leave you b/c you brought it up & then you can't get your ex back (whom you left for current lover who is now your current ex) LOL

Lose-Lose situation all around.

Even more annoying than being single is being the only "single" out of your group of friends. There is no one for me to do anything with anymore. They all have husbands/families...I want to go out to dinner or see a movie...they have to stay home w/the spouse & kids...

Not fun.

LOL...I'm in NY & particularly in my section of NY the housing market is crazy expen$$ive. If you don't make over $40,000 you will be paying over 60% of your monthly income for rent.

Living in an ex-husbands basement sounds like a reasonable solution to over inflated-market price rules-no requirements for affordable housing in any new building developments to me.

PS (can you put me in touch with that ex husband to see if he has another basement for rent???)

Just be careful. IMO this is not the site to find someone who is "like minded" in line w/the lifestyle you desire.

Your post does not specify that the woman must come w/her own $$, therefore giving the readers the idea that YOU will be providing this materialistic lifestyle & THEY will be enjoying it. You need to specify that you want career/professional women only. That will help weed out the females who want to be supported.

I understand that things may be different in terms of socio-economics in England vs the U.S., but human nature is the same everywhere. I hope you find what you are looking for & I would be amazed if you found it here LOL...

If you don't drink at all, there is no reason to be in a bar except if that's where you are meeting your friends & then going to dinner in the restaurant attached to the bar LOL...

I don't drink & so no doubt have lost out on meeting a few males b/c they were in a bar when I wasn't LOL...

The bars attached to clubs are just as bad b/c then you have all the drunkenness, plus the loud music from the dance floor. Clubs don't make $ from the admissions fees but from the alcohol served. That's why they have vip areas, bottle service "lounges" etc. To sell more alcohol.

As a non-drinker I really think it's very unattractive to when a drunk person tries to hit on someone (male or female)...how can that ever make a good first impression?

Don't forget about human nature: a lot of our "race" preferences come from simple physical imprinting as youngsters.

(Based on the assumption of a two parent upbringing):

A child will find attractive what they have been brought up with.

A girl will "imprint" on the physical image of her father who she associates with love & caring (he is the male that she has seen in a romantic connection with her mother).

A boy will "imprint" on the physical image of his mother for the same reasons.

If they see no other physical type of couples (all relatives are of one race) then that is what they will seek out as adults.

Unfortunately this also works when it comes to negative personality traits such as abuse etc (why the children of abusers become abusers or accept abuse...)

If women were in charge? - brings to my mind the joke about what if the 3 wise men who visited Bethlehem were 3 wise women:

They would have arrived before the birth, helped w/the birth & cleaned up the stable & brought practical & useful gifts (what the heck was Mary supposed to do w/a bunch of frankincense & myrhh) LOL...

I think that bad gifts to/from partners is any gift that subtly or not so subtly implies "work to be done". Unless one partner who loves to cook asks for a new set of pans & the other who loves to fix things asks for a power drill, gifts that are utilitarian in nature are no-no's.

Because if the gift was not specifically asked for but still given the message is "get to work"...(ps, same thing for the sexy lingerie, just a "get to work" in a different room LOL)

Hi OP,

Unfortunately it seems the only logical answer to your questions is:

each woman is an individual & has her own traits & preferences.

You have met women who fall short of what you are seeking, & no doubt you may have encountered women who think you fall short of what they are seeking.

Dating is just harder when you are older. Older adults should have the benefit of "been there, done that" in terms of knowing what we just won't put up with, but that also forces us to honestly weed out so many who don't measure up to it. Some folks do "settle" & accept partners who aren't 100% what makes them happy. It's a hard choice to make & even harder to live with down the road when assessing whether you are actually satisfied with your personal love life.

Not a platitude but a fact: if you are single & don't want to be, then you just have to keep looking, until you find the one who is acceptable to you as a "life partner". Or, decide that being single is just a facet of your life that might change any time in the future (an optimist) & carry on living as fulfilled a life as you can without a partner.

Good luck no matter what.

Your premise for finding a friend to take a cruise with is not a bad idea. I think cruise companies still charge the single passenger a higher rate (no matter the room location on the ship) so it only makes sense financially to go in a pair.

Screen your responses very carefully though. Not only do you need to coordinate your vacation time, but also you need to have gotten together socially enough times to figure out if you can handle a week on board a ship together?

If you find someone who likes to just sit on deck & read while you want to visit every port of call (some of them have shore visits that start at 9:00 & leave at 12:00 so you have to get up at 7:00 in the morning even though it's supposed to be a vacation), or you find someone who is just messy (not a lot of room on those cabins & bathrooms), it's going to ruin the vacation for both of you.

Good luck. (ps make sure the finances are in order as well...both parties pay their own way!)

Dear OP:

Sometimes "socio-economic" factors do matter in dating. If someone has a job that pays a lot of money then they usually (if not in crazy debt due to $ mismanagement or gambling/drug/alcohol problems)
have a lifestyle that matches that income.

That lifestyle can cover things from where they live to where & how they vacation to the places they go when they date.

A janitor has as much chance as a doctor in finding a date BUT: the janitor is going to live a different lifestyle than the doctor. The doctor can simply afford more than the janitor (at least if the janitor doesn't have a union job w/the city & has been working there 20 years & makes OT every week - then the janitor makes more $$ than the doctor LOL).

The lower income guy/girl is simply not going to be able to date someone who makes way more than them b/c they simply can't keep up financially: renter vs. home owner/island vacation vs. day trip to a local beach/dinner out every Saturday at upscale restaurants vs. home cooking or an occasional dinner at the local diner.

Compatibility is not just about personality, but also about "does this person do the same things I like to do?". A large income gap means the answer is no simply b/c they can't afford to.

Everyone has friends at different levels of economic success & it's not an issue. Dating is a different matter, especially if the intent is to find someone for the long term.

Economic balance should be achieved between the couple & that usually means similar paying careers for both parties. The things couples fight about the most is sex & money, so why start off with the potential pitfall of mismatched finances? I'm not endorsing gold-digging by either gender, just a little bit of common sense about the way human nature works.

Think about it, if you started dating someone who made way less than you & were considering them for the long term: would you REALLY be ok w/the burden of paying for more than 75% of everything always? At what point would resentment kick in & then contempt & that's the end of everything.

Hi OP,

Go date whoever you want to regardless of age BUT...in the online world there are a ton of young guys who will seek out the older nicer looking women just for a hookup. They believe that the older woman is safe b/c she's over the fertility stage & can't get pregnant+ has a good job + her own place. All things the hot young women they REALLY want don't have yet at their age.

They want to come over to your place, have sex, get a free meal if possible & then leave. Don't fall for it. They will not actually "date" you (go somewhere out in public)& can't afford it anyway.

Good luck & be safe while having fun.