lol

Things I look for in a profile:


Turn ons:

Funny, upbeat, sarcastic, intelligent, pretty (on the inside) pretty (on the outside).

Turn off:

Some deep poetry that is supposed to make me go, ga ga.

Women that say "if you want to know more just ask me"

Women that say about their profile "this is the hard part" and then go one to write an article that makes "war and peace" look like a comic book.

Women that state the obvious "Not into head games" (who the hell is)

Women that say "not into one night stands" well why not!

Women that say "Must be drug and disease free" As apposed to what? I have yet to read "Looking for someone with a drug addiction and desease is perfectly acceptable.

If I am answering the add you can bet that I am not going to be drug free! I am going to charge yo ace for my drugs! Nuttin free 'bout dat!

You look pretty "dog" tired ya self lol. No not bored just one of the few pics that I have my toupee on and my teeth in.

((((((Fran)))))))

I just need enough to put new tires on the house. Hell, if it's enough I may even through in some chrome spinners but I'm not one to show off my money so I may hold off on that.

A big hairy guy named Bubba! Mornin people!!!

I voted for the old man and the hot chick

My kid sold drugs to your honor student

Nope, they usually end up slashing their wrist right after they meeet me

Could use more info but you're one hell of a poet :)

So I'm sitting on the toilet smoking a cigarette and my cell phone rings and it's my boss! Trying to be quiet I figure I could "finish" and flush and get out of there before he heard the sucking sound of the toilet. I managed to do all of that until I felt a burning sensation between my legs! Remember the cigarette? I knocked the fire off into my damn drawers and didn't realize it until my "boys" were were in the middle of a 3 alarmer! Howdy people!!

I kiss better with my teeth out.

I woke up this morning and had a good bowel movement and as long as it stays in that order I"ll be doing good!

Make sure my other hand isn't jealous

run to the light

I'm on the fence. I would like to think there is a god but when I read about a little 6 year old gettng raped then I wonder. Or a man freezing to death because he hadn't paid his light bill. Or the parents of a kidnapped baby that will never be returned. That pain is unimaginable and I see no reason for it. Because I question this some Christians would say "Never question gods work" Well then why did he give me the abilty to be curious?

A friend of mine named Lori called me this afternoon. She had gone by my house to drop off some DVD's she had borrowed. She called me and said someone had placed pink flamingo yard ornament in my yard. It was about 3' tall. I know where it came from. It's those old men on my street that are always playing jokes. We play jokes on each other all the time. Anyway I tell her that if she didn't mind would she go to Spencers gifts at the mall and buy me one of those humping Chihuahua's for about 15 bucks. When I get home tonight I'll take the flamingo and strap the Chihuahua to it's butt and push the button and it will start humping it. Those old men will die laughing. Just now I get a call from another good friend of mine named Sherri. She says "Danny, Lori is in here and she said you sent her to pick up a humping dog. I have asked everyone in here and no one has a clue about you and a humping dog" Poor Lori, she went to the sports bar I hang out at... Spencer'z Sports Bar Not Spencers Gifts!!! This should be good when I walk in there for a beer tonight.

Hell my mutual matches were a goat, 2 gay men and my mother!

Hell it could be worse. My mother tells me that I'm the worlds first living abortion.