Best of luck F2B I'll be thinking of you.

Nanoo Nanoo

I hope my boss doesn't join this site

(((Fran))) Love the dancin Santa

MBD’s Survival guide for Christmas and other occasions

Ok this time of the year can be stressful to anyone. Here are a few tips to get you through the holidays but these ideas can work year round.

For mothers with a new born baby (This will work up to the age of 2)
Take the little bundle of joy to Toy-r-us. Sit him/her down in the middle of the isle and surround them with toys and take a picture. Put the toys back (optional) and leave. They’ll never know the difference and will grow up thinking they were really blessed with toys at such a young age when they look at the picture.

Does the neighbor have an annoying cat or dog. Slap a bow on it and give it to someone that owes you money. They’ll never come around anyway and you have rid yourself of the fur ball that’s been sh!ttin in your yard.

Buy a very expensive bottle of wine and a bottle of Boones Farm. Drink the expensive wine and re-fill the bottle with the Boones Farm. Chances are your friends don’t know the difference between expensive wines and rot gut wines anyway and they will be thrilled.

Write them a check. Make it for any amount you want. The check will read like this
Pay to the order of; “YOU”
$5,000
From “ME”
No bank will ever take a check like that! It’s the thought that counts right?

Now are ya hungry from all this shopping?
Go to Pizza Hut and bring along at least one friend and a dead bug.
The waitress will come up to take your order. Go ahead and order a large pizza and a large to go. Order a pitcher of beer. The waitress will return with the beer and plates for the number of people seated at the table. When she walks away, slip the dead bug in between the plates and start drinking the beer*. When she returns with the pizza she will begin serving it. Once she uncovers the dead bug everyone freaks out. The manager comes along and comps the pizza plus the one you ordered to go and the beer.
*You can get as many as 3 pitchers of beer down before the pizza is ready if you drink fast enough..

I got plenty more ideas but that’ll get ya started,

someone needs to create a chat room that we can log onto. Sorta like forums without the stutter.

Just explain to them why they call it a "Learners" permit. Daughter got her permit in January. turned 16 in August. Took drivers ed and passed in October. Got her license in October. I purchased for her a 2005 jeep liberty with all the bells and whistles. The rules were, straight to school and straight home. NO passengers. No talking on the cell phone while driving. 3 weeks later she totaled the jeep. She had just dropped off her last passenger 2 hours after school and was dialing a number on the cell phone when she flipped the jeep into a ditch. She's fine but she'll buy her next vehicle if she gets another.

made me laugh and I ain't even above ya

I love it !

I think I was one huge dinosour turd. Now I'm just a piece of sh!t

I don't care if the women are white, black, green hell at my age I don't cull nuttin! Anyway welcome and have fun

I'm lonely and I got diarrhea

grandma got run over by a raindeer

My biscuits can be used for door stops. The last batch I made from scratch was tiny and burnt. Hell when I threw em on top of my black and white counter next to the raw sausage patties it looked like a damn checker board!

with my luck they will pick up the dumpster while I'm in it

My 70 year old neighbor calls me over last night and she had packed me 2 Tupperware bowls full of food and had them in a bag for me to take for my lunch today. On the way out this morning I grabbed my cell phone, lunch, wallet, cigarettes and trash from the little container in the bathroom which is nothing more than one of those little plastic grocery store bags. I tied it up and stopped by the dumpster on my way out and tossed it. Anyway a short while ago I went to get my lunch out of my truck. It was the trash from my bathroom! I threw away my damn lunch and more impotently my neighbors Tupperware bowls! I just called my neighbor and after she caught her breath from laughing she said laughing that hard was well worth the price of the bowls. Geez I need my head examined.

AMEN lol

Awwwwww shucks mamm thank ya fur callin me amazin have sum fun

Welcome young lady. Have some fun and post often. Enjoy