Wee hours of the morning, hot summer night, remote location on the lake, skinny dipping with my boyfriend. Yup, all of the sudden headlights. He runs out to get dressed. I, on the other hand, had a cast on my leg and couldn't move quickly enough, so I try to get deep enough into the weeds to hide instead.

It's the cops of course. And that's worst case scenario, 'cause at the time I was a police dispatcher. Questioning starts. Boyfriend tells him why we're there (girlfriend, cast, hot night, itchy, etc). Cop asks me to come out of the water. I was horrified! I'm like "Uh, I can't." So he questions me about who I am, whether I'm there of my own free will, yada, yada, yada, while I'm hunched naked in the weeds. My boyfriend's laughing the whole time. The cops were too by the time they left. I wasn't all that amused.

I was even more mortified when the boys all thought it would be funny to stop by dispatch the whole next week or so. "Brought ya a glass of ice chips to cool down. Must be hot with that cast!".

Real friggen funny pal! Word travels quick on them radios I tell ya!

I saw a lot of it with my own eyes. I lived there. They'd be talking about their lives while sitting outside my front window drinking their 40's, or whatever the hell those big cheap beers are called, and smoking their blunts. My son had friends in the complex. They all hung together so he was in their apts. We both saw how they all lived. The lady who took my rent shared a bunch of info with me. She's the one that joked about every single one of them having large screen TVs. She'd know. She did the yearly inspections at the complex for fire codes. Why would I make this crap up? It's absolutely sickening how these people took advantage of the system.

I was in that apt from 1995 until I moved to Florida just over 2 yrs ago. I wasn't on welfare the whole time, only briefly as I said earlier, but I lived amongst the welfare crowd the whole time. You wanted to hear from someone that's been there...well there it is!

As for asking about republicans and the fishing pole analogy, c'mon now. You're an intelligent woman. You know exactly what I mean. They aren't literally trying to hand out actual fishing poles. The mindset between the two parties differs. That's all I was saying.

I'm not too ashamed to say I've been on welfare a couple of times during my life so I'm one that's been in the trenches and I can tell you that 75-80% of people on welfare are frauding.

I lived in a govt subsidized housing complex with 24 apts all inhabited by people on either disability or welfare. I was the only tenant paying my rent with money I made working full time to support my son and I. I was also the only tenant without a large screen TV coincidentally.

These people know how to work the system and the system does nothing about it. I called to report the fraud and was told they don't even have a fraud investigation unit!! They took my info and said they'd look into it. When I left there, the same people I reported were still living off taxpayers' dollars, getting drunk and buying drugs with our money while the govt took care of all their basic needs (food, shelter, utilities, medical care, dental care, clothing allowances, daycare expenses, car expenses including insurance and repairs, plus they got their check each month so they could have cash on hand- to the tune of nearly $2000/mo in benefits per family depending on size of family). Most of these people either had someone living in the household working and bringing home a check or were working under the table themselves while still collecting benefits. If neither of those applied, they were supplementing their govt benefits with money they made dealing drugs. Every single one of those households lived better off than my son and I did while I was the only one getting up and heading off to work 50-60 hrs a week just to pay rent and buy food. Something wrong with that picture, no?

I used welfare the way it was intended...as a temporary hand up, not a permanent handout. I left an abusive man and was a single mother. I struggled raising him alone and yes, I got assistance from the government at first, but I didn't stay on it. I lost more in benefits than I made for a paycheck when I first started working, yet I still chose to work because I didn't want something for nothing. I'm a rare bird indeed in the welfare flock though.

You say only rich republicans gripe about the poor on welfare and they've never been there so they should just be quiet. Well I've been there and I have the same gripe they do. I've seen the blatant fraud and waste of our taxpayer dollars. It's disgusting how ****ed up the system is and that democrats somehow think the people that really need and deserve help are getting it.

It's the old fish proverb. I'm sure you've heard it. "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will never be hungry again." Democrats are throwing fish at people. Republicans are inviting them to pick up a pole and learn how to fish.

and and

And a little of this in between...

With a cigarette hanging from my lips half the time...

I am living a nightmare similar to this scenario!

Boundaries must be set by the family member, not the outsider, when it comes to the family. You must set your own boundaries with your partner about what you expect, what you want from them and for them. They have to decide how to balance your wants and needs with those of their family. You have to decide if you can tolerate the constant conflict this will certainly create. This situation takes an extreme amount of patience, tolerance, commumication and compromise from both you and most importantly your partner.

Good luck. You're going to need it.

In fact, if you don't really love this person, I suggest you run for the hills.

Agree whole heartedly that we need balance in a relationship for it to work. Compromise, commitment, communication, not necessarily in that order.

Also believe that when in a relationship, your world should revolve around your significant other and vice versa. That's what makes it cool! Sometimes you lead and sometimes you follow. It's like a dance. Doesn't mean you lose yourself in the process though. You don't need to be hearing the same music or doing the same dance to still be dancing together.

As for leading to extremes, not sure what you mean by that. I do know that without extremes, things would be boring. Highs and lows make life worth living. Extremes set the limits between which we seek balance.

This is almost exactly what I was going to say. Just a matter of perspective, to each their own, because I see perfection almost everywhere I look.

My brain wrestles with the concept of 'perfectly imperfect' but that's about the best way I know how to describe it. Makes no sense but somehow it makes all the sense in the world to me. I dunno...hard to explain what I mean.

I'll just leave it at I agree with your disagreement.

I am a total sucker for flowers!

Bouquet or just one, doesn't matter. Pick me a dandelion off the side of the sidewalk for all I care, and yes I know that's a weed but it's got a stem and a colored top and sorta looks like a flower. It's the thought that counts.

Flowers just because, for no reason other than to make me smile, simply melts my heart. I'm mushy like that.

Don't need a stool if you're horizontal. Height only really matters when you're vertical in my experience.

Usually I write a book of a response. Earlier I said simply "yes". It was all I could muster, so I get the loss of vocabulary thing. Like you, I couldn't exactly put into words how to explain what I think you mean. So if you mean what I think you mean, I still think I know what you're talking about but I don't know how to say it either.

All I can say is ya gotta let it play out. Doesn't matter the length of time that someone is in our lives. What matters is that we recognize the gift for what it is and enjoy it while we can. It's rare to meet someone that makes you feel like a better person just for having known them.

Wish you all the best. You're one of the good ones here.

Freedom isn't free.

I hope we all take at least a moment out of our busy lives today to remember our veterans.

Thank you to all that have served this country over the years. You have my deep and heartfelt appreciation.

Both. I think "true love" is the highest level of compatibility.

In some cultures yes. In America, not so much anymore.

In fact, the sexual revolution has blown up to the point where sex is just some extra-curricular activity, like going to a ballgame or having dinner out, at least for many people these days. There are those who choose for whatever reason to abstain from sex, perhaps they have devout religious beliefs that inspire them to retain their virginity until after marriage.

It is your job to sort through the masses and find what you seek, someone that believes what you believe about that particular value. Good luck.

This is your seventh post in two years.

Perhaps you should become just a tad bit more active in the forums if you're looking to make contact with people.

Welcome to Mingle. You can make more friends if you let people get to know you in the forums. I know it's tough for newcomers to get responses to their posts but if you read topics and join in, before long you'll be one of the gang.

Minimal effort will get ya minimal results. Post more. That's my advice.

Good luck.

Goof!

How's it hangin'? And don't you dare post an inappropriate response since you NEVER do that.

I've missed you.

Okay, I shall give you an example since ya asked.

I saw a topic title "Do you want to get married".

My first thought "Not if my life depended on it!".

The thread was about some dude getting dumped by a girl he wanted to marry and he wanted to know if anyone would be willing to date him now.

So glad I didn't go with my initial response.

No Ms. You're missing the point. Before Obamacare I was in this situation, as were lots of others as you pointed out, and now I'm still in this situation after Obamacare AND, see the big AND, AND I'm getting FINED now on top of it. Only about $100 this year but it goes up to $700 next year if my situation doesn't change. And just where do us poor folk come up with $700 to pay a fine for being poor?

That's what I'm mad about. And his blatant lies and meaningless apology. And the fact that's he's exempted himself and other members of govt from having to use the same insurance that we citizens must now carry. What makes them so ****ing special? Where's my ****ing exemption? Am I pissed? You bet your sweet *** I am and you should be too!!!

Obamacare didn't put me here but it didn't get me out of it either, which is what you keep claiming is its sole glorifying purpose, to help the uninsured. It punishes us along with everyone else in the country that have to pay more now for their insurance, if they can afford it at this point.

Funny you still didn't respond with how much you're saving on the new plan you signed up for and how easy it was to use the site and get it done. To each their own but your argument loses its credence when even Obamacare supporters like yourself won't enroll! Need I say more?

Yes. It affects your life. What affects your life affects your role in a relationship.

It's nice to think that being rich or poor doesn't matter when it comes to love, but that's a bit naive in my opinion. It matters. Big time.

Have you ever read a topic title and had a thought instantly pop into your brain, only to open the thread and discover that it's a good thing you read the topic first before you posted because your response would have been highly inappropriate, although probably quite amusing to some fellow readers?

Me either. Just checking.

Excuse me Ms. You keep saying that some people are going to pay more so people who need it won't die or go without care. I need it. I'm not getting it. Still. And now I get to be fined on top of it. Exactly how is this beneficial for us poor folk? The old system was flawed, I'll give ya that. But this new system is worse. Far, far, FAR worse for EVERYONE!!!! We're all getting shafted. How do you not see this?

Hospitals are opting out. Doctors are opting out. Businesses are cutting hours so they don't have to provide health insurance to employees under this new act because they can't afford it. People are not switching unless forced to and then they're paying a lot more, and that's if they can even accomplish the feat. The site doesn't work. I have been trying to sign up everyday for the last ten days. I have filled out the application and saved it at least ten times. "Verification is temporarily down and should be fixed within 24 hrs". Yah right!! You go back and have to re-enter all your information again only to get the same message the next day. Tried chat assistance. You get a message that says sorry for the problems, try again later. Try to call, same thing.

Have you actually used the site MsHarmony? Exactly how much money are you saving with the new plan you signed up for? And don't even tell me that you didn't sign up for one. You must have, being such a staunch supporter and professing its greatness!! Even if you didn't have to switch, even if your employer wasn't one of the many cancelling your coverage, I'm sure you're doing your part by choosing to sign up for Obamacare out of the goodness of your heart and to benefit all those poor people that need it. So what if your cost will double. Please don't say you're keeping your policy because you can't afford to pay more. We ALL must be willing to pay more according to you!

As for this actually helping the poor uninsured, well it simply doesn't. If they make enough money, they MUST purchase insurance, more costly insurance now under this new plan. If they make no money, they are told to apply for Medicaid or disability. This is my case and I was denied for both already. Guess what? I'm still denied now. I don't have young children. I don't have medical documentation to prove my disability because I don't have insurance to go to the doctor to get it! See the vicious circle? I will still be uninsured and now it'll cost me $100 of my non-existent income because I'm too poor to afford the affordable care act.

America's grand alright. Can't say the same for its current leader though. He and the ACA are anything but grand.

adrift amidst insanity