I thought that was a good idea!

Not the hose then. How about a fire extinguisher? Is that better? I know I can put them flames out before my stuff burns up!

Well, after re-reading the OP, I see that it says I can grab one THING. I posted 'the dog of course' in my serious response, but I have now reconsidered my answer. 'The dog' is not a THING, he's a living being so that doesn't count. Therefore I get another 'thing' to take, yes?!

... I'm going with my phone! So I can call 911 to get the fire dept to come save my ****! Ya know, since SOMEONE said I couldn't get the hose and do it myself.

No, but seriously, I'd grab the phone because I have a message on there from my Dad saying he loves me at the end of it. He passed from cancer 3+ yrs ago and sometimes I just really need to hear his voice saying those words. That message is more priceless than any 'thing' I could ever acquire.

Only at birth when my daddy picked me up for the first time. He was the best man ever, and no attraction despite what Freud believed.

Other than that, resounding no. I'm guessing this is so because there are many more attractive guys that lack the qualities I seek than there are guys with the qualities I seek that aren't attractive. Matter of odds I'd say.

A hose?!

Okay, my dog Trot, but of course. He cannot be replaced!

First you post about wishing you were a woman so you could get sex from strangers every night. Now you want to be gay. Dude, I think you have a serious identity crisis going on. I'm guessing you want to be anybody but who you are. Can't say I blame ya there though, as you don't seem very positive about anything. Did ya ever think maybe it's your attitude that's dooming you to a life of sexless solitude and not the fact that you're a man???

Just trying to be straight forward and honest with ya, pal.

I would trade 1,000 shopping sprees for one night of love and attention from my man. Material things come and go, they're inconsequential in the grand scheme of life. Love and affection are gifts that cannot be measured and should be treasured more than any other trinkets one can acquire.

Unfortunately I get to say that if I had to choose between cats or dogs, the dog wins hands down.

Just had to give up my two kitties a few months ago. I cried for days, I loved them sooooo much, and I still cry about it!

I couldn't ever give up my dog though. He's my best friend and he's saved my life a thousand times over. After my Dad passed a few years ago, I was a complete and utter wreck for almost a year. That black lab soaked up more tears than a Shamwow! He kept me going when I didn't have the will to live. I loved my cats, no doubt, but not in the way I love my dog. I could not bear to leave him, to know he'd be left behind wondering where I am, who would scratch his belly just the way he likes. He will be with me until death do us part, and I pray that's not for a very long time!!

Going a little overboard, don't ya think?

Skip the flowers loverboy!

I don't speak for most women, but I wear them because it's much easier to kick a guy in the head wearing these. I can hardly get my foot up into his nuts with tight jeans on. I like having options!

I don't think you need to run out and get a sex change to accomplish your desire. You can get a different strange woman to come onto you every single night for a mere $50 or so. I actually don't know what hookers charge so don't quote me, but I'm thinking they like you no matter what, problem solved without becoming a woman.

As for how lucky us women are for being able to get sex whenever we want...I think it's just the ultimate gift from God for us having to squeeze out a head the size of a basketball through a hole the size of a quarter. Give birth just once, then come see me about how lucky us women are!

I have overactive tear ducts apparently. Or I'm just way more empathetic than I should be.

I cry during lots of movies. If it has a death scene in it, animal or human, the waterworks start. Can't handle seeing someone grieve; hits too close to home especially after losing my dad to cancer three years ago. Plus I've never been good at masking my emotions. If it's sad, I cry. Movie, commercial, news report, real life, doesn't matter. I'm a fricken bawl baby!

Exactly! How can he make the assumption that it's racism from what's in that article? Doesn't say the race of the cop. Doesn't say the race of the person in the house that called 911, although it did say "her" so it was a female who was probably scared when some dude covered in blood showed up on her doorstep in the middle of the night. The guy was probably in shock, which mimics being drunk in some cases, and she did the right thing, called the police. I'd have done the same thing whether he was black or white!

I find it hard to believe they can make a decision on the cop's actions without knowing the toxicology reports yet. The kid could have been high on PCP for all we know which caused the accident and accounts for aggressive behavior. The young cop got scared, made a decision to use deadly force instead of his tazer, but we weren't there and can't know what he saw. I feel bad for him. I know he didn't go out to that call just hoping he could shoot someone, yet the liberals will scream "trigger happy cops aim for blacks" based on this one tragic event. That's what gets me. People like my friend are quick to judge without knowing the facts. Scream racism. Scream police are just out to kill at will. Makes no sense to me.

If I'm understanding correctly, the issue is that you wanted to pay for dinner and she insisted on splitting the check. I'm guessing you not only intended to pay but offered as well, and she wouldn't let you foot the whole bill, was stubborn about it and so you let her pay her half begrudgingly.

Welcome to the wonderful world of equality!

I see it like this:

1. If he asks me out to dinner for a date, I expect him to pay. I would offer to split the bill or pick up the tip to be gracious, but I'd be shocked if he accepted either and it would probably be our last date. If he does pay, I always suggest I get the next dinner though, provided I was interested in there being another date.

2. If I ask him out to dinner, I pay for everything, period. If he wants to pay for a couple of drinks somewhere else after dinner, that's fine if the date's going well, and I'd tell him that. If he insisted on paying the bill or splitting it, I'd eventually let him but it'd probably be our last date. That would scream control issues for me.

A date implies one party pays, whichever party asked the other, and that person should choose the restaurant so as to stay within their budget.

Dutch means two friends sharing a meal and should be agreed upon before hand in my opinion. Not nice to spring "Oh by the way, we're splitting this check!" on an unsuspecting 'date', especially if you chose the restaurant and it's expensive! I'd be like "Crap dude, I'm doing dishes! Catch ya on the flip side!"

http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2013/09/15/2621871/police-fatally-shoot-unarmed-man/

Officer Randall Kerrick, 27, of the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department (CMPD) in North Carolina is facing charges of voluntary manslaughter after fatally shooting Jonathan Ferrell, 24, a former Florida A&M football player who had apparently been seeking help after surviving a major car crash early Saturday morning.

CMPD officials called the shooting “excessive.” “Our investigation has shown that Officer Kerrick did not have a lawful right to discharge his weapon during this encounter,” said CMPD Chief Rodney Monroe in a statement. “It’s with heavy hearts and significant regrets it’s come to this… Our hearts go out to the Ferrell family and many members of the CMPD family. This is never something easy.”

The Charlotte Observer reports that the car crash was so severe that Ferrell likely had to “pull himself out” of the wreckage. He then walked to the nearest house, about a half mile away, to seek assistance. But the local resident whose home Ferrell arrived at was frightened that he was attempting to burglarize her after not recognizing him.

The resident then made a 911 call and three officers arrived at the scene. According to police accounts, Ferrell, who is African-American, acted “aggressively” and charged towards the officers. Officer Thornell Little of the Hickory Grove division of the CMPD responded with an unsuccessful attempt to fire his Taser at Ferrell. Police say that when Ferrell continued to charge toward the police, 27-year-old officer Randall Kerrick discharged his weapon several times, eventually killing Ferrell.

Monroe said that he did not believe Ferrell had threatened the woman who placed the 911 call, and that Kerrick’s use of excess force was unwarranted, according to the Charlotte Observer. No signs of alcohol were found at the scene of the wreckage, although officials said an official toxicology report will take weeks.

While the FBI keeps detailed information on the numbers and types of crimes that are committed throughout the United States, there is no comprehensive tracking mechanism for police shootings. FBI spokespeople have said there is no mandate for them to keep such statistics and that it would take an act of Congress in order to establish a database. Congress, so far, has refused to ask for one.

_____________________________________________________________________

A liberal friend posted this in response to the previous article:


who would guess this was in the south?
Ignorant Racist HOO-HAs

"may have been seeking help after a car crash".. uh.. MAY?

there needs to be a database of police shootings across the U.S. so we know what part of the country is ACTUALLY safe.

I'm not condoning the officer's actions. I feel bad for everyone involved, but it really gets my goat that people will jump to conclusions like the above idiot did without knowing the facts. And he's calling people ignorant racists?!

If he wants to keep getting close enough to see the stretch marks on your inner thighs, I'm guessing he won't say a word about 'em! Men are stupid but not that stupid. He's inches away from heaven at that point.

I was tiny too when I got pregnant. Was 10 days late with delivery and got stretch marks on my belly the last week!

Small price to pay, and I never think twice about 'em. No cause for embarrassment IMHO.

Now that's funny!

And the truth which makes it even funnier!

Well done!

I'm crutchless now! That's why I want to go out and celebrate!

Therefore I'm inventing the bubble wrap attire. So I don't end up on them again! It's a preventative measure!

And it's Friday the 13th so I'm more likely to need it tonight. I'm a supersticious klutz!

Y'all can take revenge on me and deflate one bubble! Just one though. Must keep buoyancy factor in play for the evening.

I take it you haven't tried to maneuver on crutches after drinking? Did I mention I'm a klutz?!

I'm pretty sure people will clear the way when they see me coming. They'll probably think they're about to undergo some kind of terrorist attack. I'll find a seat. Now to figure out how to sit in my bubble wrap suit.

Happy Friday the 13th.

Well holy crap. Good thing I'm clueless. All I know is I made him smile and taught you a lesson too. This is starting out pretty good. I could be onto something here.

Just having some fun on Friday the 13th.

I can't reinvent bubble wrap! Not my fault if y'all can't see through it!

I'm more worried about figuring out how to not make popping sounds every time I take a step. This inventing stuff is going to be harder than I thought!