bit of long read, i hope you don't mind.

i am currently 21 and most people my age are going through identity crisis. for the most part i know who i am at this point in time. the main crisis(ies) i have is how i can relate to the universe, what are the right paths for me and what is right.

i've been searching for answers for what is right, i look throughout history.

i read about individuals like gandhi, martin Luther king, JFK,, and Robert kenedy. they have made such a positive and massive change in the world.

i read about individuals like Hitler, Stalin, manson, the unibomber etc. i've read and seen the massive negative impact they have had.

invariably i've seen similar things in mass society.

people that didn't fight Hitler, the Rwandan genocide,Romans feeding Christians to lions, churches condemning innocent people ie "Galileo, Joan of arc etc", the crucible, discrimination, greedy corporations etc.

there are other people that give to various charities, people that keep an open mind, non profit organizations, veterans that have sacrificed their lives, people that care and want to make things better etc.

the main difference i can see in terms of good and evil in society and individuals are intentions to help, open mindedness and trying to understand other peoples POV. one constant i have seen is that no system is 100% right or wrong, there are things to learn and avoid everywhere

i often wonder what it would have been like if hitler was open minded and listened to others. if he really cared would world war 2 still have happened? also what if martin Luther king listened to mass society and gave up. would the world be filled with more hate and misunderstanding?

essentially i don't want to be Hitler or make a negative impact but i also have to be me, no matter how weird or different i am. my intentions are rarely to hurt and i want to belong.

are there any suggestions or good advice that you can think of?

thank you for reading and the advice. : )

thank you for the comfort and advice guys.

i've had an online love interest for awhile and i am pretty sure shes cutting me out. shes not answering my emails and i wait about three or four days between the letters. this has happened before with about five or six people, for two or three weeks they they say i am awesome and that they really like me and then bam!...nothing. i would understand if it was a single letter or if i used profanity or negetive tones but i am almost always caring, romatic and deep in my letters and the it usually lasts a couple months.

i can't think of any rhyme or reason behind it other than a vague idea that i am really different and that i want a deep and meaningful relationship.

thank you for reading so far, do you have any ideas or answers which might help. : )

thank you.

it's been a really long time since i posted, probably a year and a half. many thoughts have been stirring and i need to get them out. this poem is about how i've feeling lately:


Definition. Meaning. Everything. D.M.E

Clichés are wasted, faded.
Cremated on bated breath.
Life is precious, rare.
Imitation of imitations can’t compare.
A mockery, a theft.
What is real?

Defining everything, purpose and meaning.
A beating heart, passion, bursting.
Stimulated, permeated by love’s first gaze.
Potential and possibility at every corner, lurking.
Some things stay and some things change.
A thousand worlds collding in the mind.
Notions of matter and time.
All up on display.

My life is an imitation.
I need to hold my breath.
Release the evocation.
Rid the emptiness.
All an illusion, I don’t feel alive.
Light all the cylinders, the fire inside.

Recalibrate, negotiate the meaning.
Paradoxes, unnerving, what is absolute?
Vision without seeing.
A trivial pursuit.

there's a common theme that god is all knowing, all seeing and all powerfull. if that assumption is correct than he is responsible of all that is good or bad, because everything is supposed to originate from him, even Satan. if he knows all then he knows what everyone will do before they do and if that is true then their really is no free will. if he is all powerful than why just banish Satan to hell, why let Satan torture, mislead and hurt people? why not just wipe him out completely? if Satan is all evil then god should know that he won't change and the only reason to keep him around seems to be a petty contest, childish game. ( most evident in JOB)

if he isn't all powerful or all knowing then that would mean that he is more imperfect than people think and is capable of faults. this would make more sense because he created us in his own image and we are inherently imperfect.

afterwords the sheets are donated to goodwill and the people with better insurance are haunted by the ghosts of the hopelessly ill and are told to feed rainbow trout skittles. it's a weird circle of life thing.

good job cfbikedog

it's nice to be weird and have good feedback.

if a tree fall down in a forest and a deaf person is there, does it really fall and if so does it land on the deaf person?

.. and latter made into sheets used in hospital beds.

I am fine guys, i am actually a straightedge I just like being random and weird and i wanted to see what you guys would say.

btw rainbow trout eat skittles

in the night the sun still stays.
yet the sheep are still prowling.
watching devouring their prey

if babies come from storks than clowns come from el polio loco.

yay!

click click

good job

heres a different one: I am a fire sign my girlfriend was an air sign and she used to blow me out.

i agree.

i not quite versed in the bible but from what i know i would have mixed feelings.

it would be interesting and cool to see jesus but on the other hand the chaos and everything of armegddon would be horrible" "blood up to a horses bridal" "famine for seven years" and all that.
I am a believer in god but it's a not blind belief in terms of accepting everything.I am not religious but rather spiritual there are two metaphors i can best explain my current faith in a nutshell.

1. faith in god is like faith in meeting a friend at place you never been before. the strength of your connection with your friend reflects your faith that your friend will show up. others may scorn you or not wait with you, it might be lonely but it is important to keep in open mind and not try to force them to wait with you. if your friend shows up they will see for themselves that you were right.

2.if god does exist and he is pure then his message might have been distorted by many years of people trying to repeat and convey it. like the old story of a chain of people, one person at the beginning of the chain says" Goldilocks likes porridge" then tells every one down the chain to repeat it one by one and by the time it gets down to the end the last person says " woppi Goldberg likes sushi" some of the message got lost along the way and we have to listen to the hints along the way and try thee best we can.

what i was trying to convey was that most villans or people who do bad things rarely ever think that what they're doing is wrong. Hitler didn't think what he was doing was wrong, the romans didn't think they were doing anything wrong when they fed Christians to the lions at gladiator arenas and the churches during the medieval period didn't feel bad about condemning people to be burned at the stake(particularly Joan of arc). these people justified it in their own minds that what they were doing was right. often times if they realized that they did wrong at all, it's after the fact. they may realize that society thinks it 's wrong but it doesn't register in their own minds that it's wrong. if they do know it's wrong beforehand they may think of part of the damage that will be done but not contemplate or see it all. the last thing i want is to excuse these people or have the suffering they have caused to seem less powerful or terrible.it's important to reflect and know the reasons why bad people (including ones discussed in this thread) so we have a greater chance of anticipating similar evil in the future, as well as being mindful of the potential kinds of evil within ourselves.

hope this helps and is clearer than my last post.

yeah i do realize it is a bit conceited.

generally in a relationship, whether it's superfical or deep?

I found a great description today on lovepot of what i generally want.

Level One: Your mirrored image – These are a rare example. However, it is possible that they do exist in each of our lives at one point or another. We might have one or two in a lifetime from this category, if we are lucky! What makes them special? Soul Mates of this sort come into our life in a fast, weird and unexpected way. The situations and events in our lives begin to change of their own accord, in order to accommodate the arrival and the reunion of both Souls. In such a case such as this, it is can almost be said that it is 'written in the stars!' Both Souls have to be ready for each other, as I did explain before it is not enough to sustain the relationship at its full potential, only by existing as Soul Mates. This level is the strongest and most powerful type of Soul Mates. They do have many similar interests and share an almost equal interest in their life direction. They will think alike, and in many cases will be able to continue speaking a sentence where the other one has left off. They are a mirror of each other, although they do not have to be exactly the same. However, each one compliments the other with their individual strengths and weaknesses and they will understand each other by being on same 'wavelength'.

i completely agree with miami, there are some things worse than death, one of them is a life full of regret with questions of "what if?"

not the singer

for those who may not know he was an eccentric, popular user on here

Topsykretts

thats cool you've seen 23 too, it's good movie although slightly disturbing and sad.

Did he leave? i heard Spock and Captain Kirk beamed him up to fight a giant lizrard.

click click

I do not absolve these people of what they have done. (for it is very terrible) but i can understand they might not fathom or be able to foresee the full or majority impact their actions have on the children before they commit these acts.

I myself have hurt people(not illegally or in the way these people have) without intending or knowing the full scope or consequences of my actions. I will or have faced my punishment for these actions and I rarely back out of my comeuppances but one of the hardest aspects of it is not knowing the full weight,price and consequences of it before the action.