ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh

what girl name ryhmes with chuck?

hahahahahahahahahahaha

yo momma so easy a cave man can do it

your momma's like shnucks: she makes it easy

yo momma so fat she has to use a matress for a tampon

i cant wait until that happens to me...... not really

IN MY OPINION THERE ARE SOME RELIGIONS OUT THERE THAT DONT MAKE SENSE AT ALL, AND THERE ARE SOME THAT ARE BELIEVABLE. I AMA CHRISTIAN MYSELF, AND ALSO IN MY OPINION, CATHOLICS ARE KINDAS STUPID. THEY BELIEVE THAT ITEMS SUCH AS CROSSES CAN PROTECT YOU FROM POSSESION. AND, ASLO, SOMETHING ELSE THAT REALLY DOESNT MAKE SENSE ABOUT THE CATHOLIC FAITH (JUST SO YOU KNOW I LEARNED THIS FROMA FRIEND WHO WAS CATHOLIC) CATHOLICS ALSO BELIEVE THAT IF YOU DIE WITH SOME SORT OF PENNAT OR NECKLACE, OR SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES, ANYWAYS THEY BELIEVE IF YOU DIE WITH IT ON YOU, YOU AUTOMATICALLY FO TO HEAVEN WHICH COMPLETELY CONTRADICTS THEY'RE BELIEF IN JESUS CHRIST.

ha it worked!

hahaha, busted!

whatever a man sews-will rip

nowadays when you see a man and his son, the one with the beard is the sun.

even if a man understood women, he still wouldnt believe it.

a happily married man has a wife who cooks, a wife who makes love like a rabbit, and a wife who works while he stays home. and if he's lucky, the three will never meet.

some men started in perfect circles and end up in the worst triangles.

the man who says he can understand women id either a psychiatrist, or in need of one.

the "weaker" sex is the stronger sex because of the stronger sex's weakness for the "weaker" sex.

i guess i am

a young man was fixated on women's breasts
a shrink said to him "maybe free associationwill help.i'll say a word and you say the first word that comes to mind"
the patient says "i'll try"
all right. orange"
"breast"
nectarine"
"breast"
"grape"
"breast"
"ping-pong"
breasts"
"how can ping-pong bring breasts to mind?"
"thats easy, first this way then the other way"

sorry, didnt find it that funny

good for you!, now its my turn.... right?

lol

Every father was once a kid, and every mother keeps trying to prove he still is

a man went to a fortune teller who looked into her crystal ball and said "i see you are the father of two children."
"no, three" says the father
the fortune teller says "thats what you think"

a father is a banker provided by nature

a father is a man with pictures in his wallet where his money used to be

those were good ones!

smart, smart

she's pretty fat,she's taller lying down than she is standing up

she's so fat a phone booth fits her like a girdle

you know your fat when you qualify for group insurance

she's so fat she has to wear a six peice bikini

she was even fat as a child. her father had to put tractor tires on her bike

this si general cluster speaking, men, dont take prisoners!

this'll be a short meeting

there'll be zillions of good looking girls

you can put it together yourself in five minutes

believe me, nobody will dress up

we'll only stay five minutes

my folks'll be home late

why put the top up? it wont rain

one hot dog wont blow my diet

of course there's film in the camera

you'll house break him in no time

they'll feel terrific once you break them in

when it says empty, there's always a gallon or two left

if you knew anything, you wouldnt be a traffic cop

you can make it, the train isnt coming that fast!

of course, bring the kids

thats not poison oak

Me? why would the army take me?

i dont burn, i tan

your table will be ready in five minutes

we have plenty of room

we service what we sell

Is there anything i can do?