ShadowEagle


ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sun 03/18/07 10:42 PM Topic: Jokes to Make Men Laugh
Q: How can you tell if a blond is a good cook? A: She gets the poptart out of the toaster in one piece. Q: What do you call a blonde at university? A: A visitor. Q. Why does a blonde smile in a lightning storm? A. They think their getting their picture taken. Q: What did the mom say to her blonde duaghter before a date? A: If your not in bed by 12 come home. Q: Why did the blonde only smell good on the right side? A: He didn't know where to buy Left Guard! Q: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail she was hammering? A: The noise gave her a headache Q: Did you hear about the blonde who couldn't wait to see 20,000 leagues under the sea? A: He said that he loved baseball, and was surprised that there were so many teams. Q: Why did the blonde stand in front of a mirror with his eyes closed? A: He wanted to see what he looked like asleep. Q: How many blondes does it take to make a circuit? A: Two: one to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass him the blow dryer! Q: What happened to the blonde ice hockey team? A: They drowned in Spring training. Q: How do you recognize a blonde at a car wash? A: He's the one on his bike. Q: Why did the blonde quit his job as a restroom attendant? A: He couldn't figure out how to refill the hand dryer. Q: What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials? A: Double-dumb Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower? A: The green WELCOME mat is ripped all to shreds. Q: How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde? A: It is the one with the kickstand. Q: What do you call an all-blonde skydiving team? A: A new version of the Lawn Darts game. Q: Why did the blonde take his new scarf back to the store? A: It was too tight Q: Did you hear about the blonde who gave his cat a bath? A: He still hasn't gotten all the hair off his tongue. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who thought he discovered that he had a twin brother? A: He didn't realize he was looking in a mirror. Q: Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? A: They're too hard to re-train. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who never learned to water ski? A: He couldn't find a lake with a slope. Q: What are two blondes doing in front of a motorcycle? A: Arguing about who is going to sit by the window. Q: What did the Blond get on her IQ test? A: Drule Q: What is similar in a Smart Blond and a Alien??? A: You hear about them but you never see them... Q: What Is A Blonde's Most Frequently Used 4 Letter Word? A: NEXT! Q: What do you call a smart blond? A: Endangered species Q: What do you call a movie about a man trying to make a blond smart A: Mission Impossible Q: Two blondes are walking down the sidewalk when a man walks up and ask are you sisters? A: They both start laughing and the one says no were not even catholic. Q: Why do blondes wear green lip stick? A: Because red means stop! A blond is in an elevator when a man walks in the blond looks at him and says "t-g-i-f" The man looks at her and replied"s-h-i-t"(letters only) The blond is very confused at this point and try to explain "t-g-i-f thank god it's Friday" The man smiles and says"s-h-i-t sorry Hun it's Thursday" Q: How can you tell if a blond has been at a computer? A: There is rat poison beside the mouse. Q: Do you know how to make a blonde go crazy? A: Put her in a round room and tell her to go pee in a corner! Q: Why are Blonde jokes so dumb?? A: Well so men can understand them Q: How did the blond commit suicide? A: She gathered all of her clothes into a pile and jumped off. A blond scientists wants to determine how far a frog can jump. So she gets a frog and commands it to jump. At once the frog jumps. The blond measures and rights in here journal : frog with four legs jumps 8 feet. Then she cuts of the two front legs of the frog. She commands it to jump. The frog struggles a bit but manages to jump. She rights in her journal : frog with two legs jumps 3 feet. Once more she cuts of the other two legs. She commands the frog to jump but it just sits there. Then the blond wrights : frog with no legs losses hearing. Q: Why did the blond prostitute think she was a poet? A: Because she layed and he paid Q: What do you call 9 blondes in a circle? A: A dope ring. Q: Why can't blondes be pharmacists? Because they can't figure out how to fit the bottle in the typewriter. Q: How many blonds does it take to screw in alight bulb? A: 1 blonds will screw any thing. Q: How do you confuse a blond? A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: What is the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead blond in the road? A: There's skid marks before the snake Q: How do you tell if a blond girl has a blond boy friend? A: Her belly button's black and blue Q: What is the difference between Jupiter and a blonds head A: Jupiter isn't hollow Q: What does a blonde do every morning when she looks in the mirror. A: She introduces her self. She was so blond that she tried to commit suicide by jumping out of the basement window Q: What do you call a blonde standing on her head? A: A brunette with bad breath!! Q: Why Did The Blond Have Lipstick On Her Steering Wheel? A: She Tried To Blow The Horn Q: Why does a blond wear a tight skirt A: To keep here legs closed Q: what's the difference between a blond and a washing machine? A: You can drop your load in a washer and it won't follow you around you for a week Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station? A: The Air Pump! Q:Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed. Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? A: They don't know the route. Q: Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses? A: Because he didn't want them **ting in the streets during parades. Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS? A: A know-it-all ***. Q: What's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist? A: Marriage. Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear? A: "Thanks for the refill!" Q: Why do blondes have more fun? A: Because they don't know any better. Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle? A: A dope ring. Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before the blonde's date? A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home. Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by "the fuzz"? A: "No. But I've been swung around by the tits." Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra? A: Spot. Q: What is more stupid then a brunette trying to start a fire in a pool? A: A blonde trying to put it out. Q: Why did the blonde give up snorting coke? A: Because the bottle was to hard to get up her nose. Q: How do you know if someone is a true blonde or a fake? A: Ask them what color they use, if they give you crayons, there blond. Q: Why did they stop the wave at sporting events? A: To many blonds drown. Q: Why was the blond smiling when it was lighting? A: She thought someone was taking her picture. Q: What do you call an all blond baseball team? A: Triple play Q: How do you know if a blond has used the microwave. A: She's burnt and thinks she has a sun burn! Q: What's the difference between a blond and a mosquito? A: When you slap the mosquito, it stops sucking. Q: What do blonds and beer bottles have in common? A: They are both empty from the neck up. Q: What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common? A: You always hear about them but you never see them. Q: Why does it take so long to make a blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? A: You have to hollow out the head. Q: What happened to the blonde ice hockey team? A: They drowned during spring training Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common? A: You pick them up, throw them in the gutter, and they come back for more Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts? A: Tits Go In Front. Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side? A: An interpreter. Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A: A mental block. Q: What do you say to a blonde that won't give in? A: "Have another beer." Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? A: Introduces them self. Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? A: Data transfer. Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? A: To see what was on the other side. Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer s disease? A: Her IQ goes up! Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Big foot? A: Big foot has been spotted. Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change. Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist? A: "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?" Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy? A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart? A: The shopping cart has a mind of its own. Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light. Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning? A: A visitor. Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor? A: She thought it was pregnant because it missed a period. Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? A: Because she got an F in sex. Q: Why do blondes wear panties? A: To keep their ankles warm. Q: Why do blonds stick there heads out of the window of a moving car A: To fill up Q: How can you tell when a blond was baking chocolate chip cookies? A: When you find M'n M shells on the floor Q: What do you do when a Blond throws you a grenade? A: Pick it up, pull the pin and through back There are 99 Blonds on a plane and 1 Brunette. The captain radios in that they are going down, So they drop all the luggage. They were still going down so they drop out all the chairs. They were still going down so they dropped the floor. So they are hanging by there hands from the top on the plane with no floor. So the captain say's "1 person jump out" the Brunette say's "I'll sacrifice my life", and all the Blonds start clapping. Q: How does a blond commit suicide? A: Jumps out the basement window. A Blond was riding a horse. Than suddenly the horse started to go faster and faster. At last she screamed "HELP!!!!" Than the store manager came out and unplugged it. Q: What did the blond say when she opened a box of Cheerios? A: Oh! look donut seeds Q: How do you get a twinkle in a blonds eyes? A: Shine a flash light through her ear. There were two blondes on opposite sides of a river. One yells across to the other: "Hey how do I get across the river?" The blond replies: "Why do you want to know? You're already there!" Q: Why are there so many blonde jokes? A: Because redheads and brunettes have to have something to do on the weekends Q: Have you heard Benjamin Moore came out with a new paint color called "blond"? A: It's not too bright but it spreads real easy. Q: What's the similarity between a blond and a postage stamp? A: You lick 'em, stick 'em, and send them on their way... Q: Why do blonds climb chain-link fences? A: To see what's on the other side. Q: When is it okay to shoot a blond in the head? A: When you have a tire pump nearby to re inflate it. Q: Why can't blonds water ski ? A: When ever they get wet they lay down and spread there legs. Q: Why is a blonde's coffin y-shaped? A: B/c she is so used to having her legs spread. Q: What is the definition of eternity? A: Four blondes at a four way stop. Q: id you hear about the blonde who won the gold medal at the Olympics? A: She had it bronzed. Q: Did you hear about the blonde prisoner who was found in his cell with half a dozen bumps on his head? A: He tried to hang himself with a bungee cord. Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes? A: They always forget the recipe. Q: Why do blondes have more fun? A: They are easier to keep amused. Q: How did the blonde explain how his helicopter crashed? A: He said it was getting cold, so he turned off the ceiling fan. Q: How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde? A: It is the one with the kickstand. Q: Why did it take the blonde a whole week to wash three basement windows? A: It took him six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio? A: It took him two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night. Q: How many blonds does it take to make Chocolate Chip Cookies? A: 5, 1 to mix the batter and 4 to squeeze the rabbit. Q: How do you know if a Blond has been drinking? A: She's walking in a straight line Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer? A: I don't know, there are some things even a blonde won't do. Q: How do you plant dope? A: Bury a blonde. Q: How does a blonde get pregnant? A: And I thought blondes were dumb! Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You don't. They're born that way. Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk? A: The cow fell on her. Q: How did the blonde burn her nose? A: Bobbing for french fries. Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries? A: She has a checkbook. Q: What do you call a blonde wearing a leather jacket on a motorcycle? A: Rebel without a clue. Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner? A: reservations. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook? A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece. Q: WHY DOES A BLONDE ONLY CHANGE HER BABIES DIAPER ONCE A MONTH??? A: BECAUSE THE BOX SAYS GOOD FOR UP TO 30 POUNDS.. Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory A: She threw away all the W's. Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday A: You tell them a joke on Friday. Q: How do you hit a blonde and she will never know it A: With a thought! Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test? A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat. Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A: A blonde parade. Q: WHY DON'T BLONDES BREAST FEED THEIR BABIES? A: It hurts too much when they boil their nipples. Q: What's the difference between a blonde having her period and a terrorist? A: You can negotiate with a terrorist Q: What's the definition of eternity? A: 4blondes at a 4 way stop. Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes? A: "Toe goes in first".

ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sun 03/18/07 10:15 PM Topic: protest
Naaaahhh I went to Rolling Thunder

ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sun 03/18/07 10:13 PM Topic: jokes to make women laugh
Q: How can you tell if a man is happy? A: Who cares!!! A man walks into a bar and finds a Genie in a lamp. The Genie will only grant him one wish. The man wishes to be a million times smarter than any man on earth. POOF the Genie turns him into a woman! Q: Why are blonde jokes so short? A: So men can remember them. Q: Why do men have slits in their underwear? A: So they can get oxygen to their brains. Q: What did god say after he made Adam? A: "I can do better than that." then he made Eve. Q: What do you call a man with half a brain? A: Gifted Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually active? A: He's breathing! A man is trying to impress a woman by making her think he's really intelligent. Man: I like waking early in the morning. Woman: Are you sure you haven't missed an "n" out of that sentence? Q: Do you know the real reason Moses wandered in the desert for 40 years? A: Because even back then men wouldn't stop and ask for directions. Q: How do you save a man from drowning? A: Take your foot off of his head. Q: Why do women work harder than men? A: Women get it done right the first time. Q: Why is a man like a diaper? A: because they are always on your ass, and they are usually full of ****.

ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sun 03/18/07 10:11 PM Topic: Men Jokes to make women laugh
Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a non-lazy man (who helps out around the house), and a lazy man are about to jump off a bridge into water. Who makes the biggest splash? A: The lazy man. The other 3 don't exist. Q: Why don't men do laundry? A: Because the washer and dryer don't run on remote control! Q: Why do men have a hole at the end of their penis? A: So they can think open-mindedly. Q: What's a man's idea of protected sex? A: A padded headboard. Q: What do you call a woman that works like a man? A: A Lazy ***. Q: Why did God create men? A: Because vibrators can't mow the lawn. Q: Why is urine yellow and sperm white? A: So men can tell if they are coming or going. Q: How are men like parking spaces? A: he good ones are always taken and all that is left are handicapped Q: What do you call a man with an I.Q. of 50? A: Gifted Q: What's the difference between a man and a cow? A: One brain cell that prevents them from *ting all over the place! Q: How are men and beer bottles alike? A: They're both empty from the neck up. Q: Why do woman fake orgasms? A: Because men fake foreplay! Q: Did you hear about the baby born with both sexes? A: It had a penis AND a brain! Q: How many men does it take to make popcorn? A: Four, one to hold the pot, and three to act macho and shake the stove. Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A: No one knows, it's never happened Q: How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Only 1 (Men are good at screwing things up!) Q: What is the difference between government bonds and men? A: Government bonds mature. Q: What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups? A: Put the remote control between his toes Q: What's a man's idea of helping with the housework? A: Lifting his legs so you can vacuum. Q: What's the difference between a man and E.T.? A: E.T. phoned home. Q: Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? A: When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there. Q: What did God say after he created man? A: "I can do better than this." Q: How do men define a 50-50 relationship? A: We cook; they eat. We clean; they dirty. We iron; they wrinkle. Q: How do men exercise at the beach? A: By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. Q: What does a man consider to be a seven-course meal? A; A hot dog and a six-pack. Q; How are men like noodles? A: They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough. Q; Why is it good that there are female astronauts? A: When the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions. Q: How can you tell if a man is happy? A: Who cares!!! A man walks into a bar and finds a Genie in a lamp. The Genie will only grant him one wish. The man wishes to be a million times smarter than any man on earth. POOF* the Genie turns him into a woman! Q: Why are blonde jokes so short? A: So men can remember them. Q: Why do men have slits in their underwear? A: So they can get oxygen to their brains. Q: What did god say after he made Adam? A: "I can do better than that." then he made Eve. Q: What do you call a man with half a brain? A: Gifted Q: How can you tell if a man is sexually active? A: He's breathing! A man is trying to impress a woman by making her think he's really intelligent. Man: I like waking early in the morning. Woman: Are you sure you haven't missed an "n" out of that sentence? Q: Do you know the real reason Moses wandered in the desert for 40 years? A: Because even back then men wouldn't stop and ask for directions. Q: How do you save a man from drowning? A: Take your foot off of his head. Q: Why do women work harder than men? A: Women get it done right the first time. Q: Why is a man like a diaper? A: because they are always on your ass, and they are usually full of ** This man went to the doctor because he had a problem. The doctor asked him what was wrong and the man said his was orange. So the doctor ran all the normal tests on him to see what was wrong. The doctor did not find any thing wrong with the man so the doctor asked the man if he lived next to a waste dump. The man said "NO". Then the doctor asked him if he handled any toxic chemicals at work. Again the man said "NO that he didn't have a job". So the doctor asked him what he did all day long and the man said " I just sit around , watch Playboy Channel, and Eat CHEETOS." ---------------------------------------------------------- A man walks into a bar and sees a jar on the counter with about 10 thousand dollars in it. He asks the bartender about and he says, "I'll give that money to anyone who does exactly what I say." The man replies "okay I'll do it." The bartender says "okay but first why don't you have a drink." the man takes the drink.he asks what it is he has to do again. The bartender says "have another one on the house." The man again has a drink. the man - now drunk - says, "What ish it I gotta do?" the bartender says okay, "See that man over there, the 7'11" 400 pound one. Well if you can hit him one time and make him fall you'll be one step closer to getting the money. Next go outside to see a mean ole dog with a bad tooth. If you can get that tooth you'll be two steps closer to that money. The man says "well what else do I have to do?" The bartender says "well upstairs there's a 107 year old lady. If you sleep with her you get the money." the man says okay and hits the big man once making him fall at once. He goes outside and the bartender hears the dog howling and barking loudly. he says to himself "that man is getting that tooth!" the man comes in and says, "Whew, now where's the *** with the bad tooth?!!" ------------------------------------------------------------ Once there were three construction workers. When it was lunchtime one day, they all sat down together. The first one opened his lunchbox and said, "Eeew, turkey! I hate turkey!" So he shot himself with a rivet gun. The second one opened his lunchbox and said, "Eeew, ham! I hate ham!" So he jumped off the building. The third one opened his box and said, "Eeew, mac and cheese! I hate mac and cheese!" So he ran himself over with a bulldozer. At the funeral, their three wives were talking about their lost husbands. The first two were very sad, but the third was rather puzzled. the first wife said, "I thought he liked turkey!" The second one said, "I thought he liked ham!" But the third one was still puzzled. She said, "I thought he packed his own lunch." Men are like department stores.... their clothes should always be half off. Men are like vacations.... they never seem to be long enough. Men are like computers... hard to figure out and never have enough memory. Men are like coolers... load them with beer and you can take them anywhere Men are like chocolate bars.... sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips. Men are like coffee.... the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long. Men are like horoscopes.... they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong. Men are like plungers... they spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom. Maternity leave would last two years....with full pay. There would be a cure for stretch marks. Natural childbirth would become obsolete. Morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem. All methods of birth control would be 100% effective. Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained. Men would be eager to talk about commitment. They wouldn't think twins were so cute. Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 PM. Briefcases would be used as diaper bags. Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes. They'd stay in bed during the entire pregnancy. Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entree's. Women would rule the world. If Men Were to Rewrite "The Rules" Rule # 1 Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. Rule # 2 If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. Rule # 3 If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way. Rule # 4 It is in neither your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together. Rule # 5 Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know how pretty you are? Rule # 6 Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. Rule # 7 You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both. Rule # 8 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs. Rule # 9 Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we. Rule # 10 When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.

ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sun 03/18/07 10:04 PM Topic: Men VS women Jokes
Q: Why are men like blenders? A: You need one but you're not quite sure why. Q: Why is food better than a man? A: You don't have to wait an hour for seconds. Q: What's a man's idea of helping to make the bed? A: He gets out.. Q: Why are men and parking spots similar? A: The good ones are already taken and the ones left are handicapped. Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: ONE! men will screw anything. Q: What do toilet seats, anniversaries and a clitoris have in common? A: Men miss them all. Q: How do you keep a man interested after marriage? A: Wear perfume that smells like beer. Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? A: She starts the sentance with "A man once told me..." Q: Why did the woman cross the road? A: That's not the point, what's she doing out of the kitchen? Q: Did you hear about the guy who finally figured outwomen? A: He died laughing before he could tell anybody. Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll? A: We don't know it has never happened. Q: Why are there only snowmen and no snowomen? A: Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow all Winter. Q: Why don't men get Mad Cow disease? A: Because men are pigs. Q: Why are guys like lawn mowers? A: They emit foul odors, are hard to get started, and do not last for long. Q: Why are men like laxatives? A: They irritate the ** out of you. Q: Why did God create man? A: Because vibrators don't mow lawns. Q: What are two reasons men don't mind their own business? A: No mind-No business. Q: Why is it hard for a women to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? A: Because those men already have boyfriends. Q: How is a man like a snowstorm? A: You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last. Q: Why are men given larger brains than dogs? A: So they don't hump women's legs at **tail parties. Q: Why can't men get mad cow disease? A: Because they're all pigs. Q: What is the main difference between men and boys? A: Men's toys cost more money ADAM and Eve joke: Adam and eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Eve had not been there long and Adam was trying to get a grasp on the female thing, so he asked God if they could have a talk. God replied, sure your my son and I love you can ask me anything. So Adam asked, God you have given me the beautiful flowers and the sunset....But I look at Eve and she is so beautiful it takes my breath away... Why God, did you make eve so beautiful? God replied, my son that is easy, I made her that way so you would love her, Adam replied well, it worked but I have another question... I touch the cool water and rub the furry animals and they feel so good to me but I touch Eve and it is so wonderful my heart almost stops... God, why did you make her that way? God replied well Adam that is easy I made her that way so you’d love her...well Adam replied, it worked, I do, but God I have one more question and I don't mean to question your wisdom or anything, but God she is stupid, why did you make her stupid? God replied my son that is easy I made her that way so she would love you.

ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sun 03/18/07 09:45 PM Topic: How long would you wait?
i once waited 30 years for this woman i was chasing to make her mind up.

ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sun 03/18/07 09:37 PM Topic: Here's the age ole question: Does size really matter?
The Ladies always tell me i'm too much for them

ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sat 03/17/07 11:23 PM Topic: Erotic Story
Lisa arrived at my apartment 3 weeks after I'd started grad school. It was always a pleasant surprise when she just showed up...it meant she was horny as hell...and I was in for a good time. We'd been dating for several years, off and on, and we always found that others' sexual desires couldn't keep up with ours. Or our fantasies. Lisa told me that she was here to **, play, and some more. It was my congratulations gift for beginning grad school. I was already prepping for my first exam, but who was I to complain? She left me alone that first evening, only offering to blow me under the table while I studied. With my in her mouth, she also mentioned she had another surprise...but it had to wait until the next night. I awoke the next day, wondering what in the hell was in store for me. Oh man was my patience rewarded. Lisa was 20, 5'2', 36D and about 130 pounds of pure ing fun. Blonde, blue eyes, and an ass that stopped traffic (I know, I saw it happen once), and an imagination for sexual fun that didn't stop. The day was pretty mundane, but she kept dropping hints that one of my favorite fantasies was about to come true, and the only thing I couldn't do was say "No." That night we hit a comedy club, shared a few drinks over dinner, then hit one of the many dance clubs in the area. When we walked in, every man's eye turned to Lisa. Her red high-heels, black mini skirt, and her barely fitting tank top did that. She was just exuding sexuality. We talked for a while, ordered a pitcher of beer, and hit the floor a couple of times. I excused myself once to visit the bathroom and when I returned, Lisa had company. Apparently a group of undergrad frat guys decided she was too good for me and were trying to lure her away. I rejoined the table where I discovered the guys were all members of the college's soccer team. Pretty boys with more money than sense, but no matter. Lisa flirted with these guys for a while, danced with a couple, and showed off her wares a bit. I didn't mind...I knew she was coming home with me. As we were preparing to leave, Lisa blurted out "Come on guys...the party's at my place." And to my surprise, they followed us out the door. I was starting to see what my surprise might be, and I was bit nervous. I'm not some huge hung guy you see. We got back to my place and the booze continued to flow. Lisa popped in a video she'd made for me (which I thought was my gift...) and as the video moved on I noticed that Lisa had started to strip on the video. I looked over at Lisa who just winked at me, raised her glass and said to the gathered crowd..."Who wants to ?" I was flabbergasted. We'd always talked about it, but I never thought she'd actually do it. She led me over to my recliner and took off her clothes. The soccer boys were all starting to crowd around. Lisa turned to them and said "My boyfriend wants to watch you gentlemen me. Do whatever you want with me...just no rought stuff, OK?" They all nodded, and Lisa got to her knees. The first in line was a smallish Italian looking guy...about my height but a slightly larger . I couldn't see too well, as his back was too me, but as I looked around I gasped in horror. These guys were all naked now...and hung huge...especially the one black guy in the group. At least 10" and as big as a Coke can. The boys all started to rub themselves on her, grabbing at her tits and pulling at her nipples. Lisa came just from all the touching, but never let the first guy out of her mouth. He grabbed her by the hair and started face ing her, shoving his rod down her throat (she was good at that). At one point about 5 minutes in, he pulled her tight to his pubic hair and shot a load down her throat...she took every drop, popped his out of her mouth, and laid down on the bench in front of the couch. The guys all walked up to her. She took the black guy in her mouth, while another guy lined up at her shaved *. I watched him line his up, uncovered, and slide into her primed hole. 8" later he was balls deep while Lisa moaned around the black guy. His egg-sized balls rested on her forehead at one point when he pulled out to rub his on her face. One by one the guys took their turns ing her...each cumming in her now not-so-tight * until she was literally oozing cum. She got on the floor and bent over, this time aiming her ass at the black guy. He grinned, she moaned, and he aimed his at her tinier, tighter, and virgin ass. She was cumming before he even snaked a finger in there. He took some of the cum from the other guys' deposits from her dripping * and lubed up her ass and his . In one fell swoop he pushed in. She screamed at first, but quickly acclimated herself to his size. Slowly he built up speed until I heard her cry "Oh God give me that black cum...keep cumming, don't stop." He obliged. He ass squirted his cum out around his and by the time he was done, he pulled out with an audible pop. This sharing of my girlfriend went on for several hours, each guy cumming at least one more time...some in her mouth, some in her ass, others in her ***. When the guys finally left, it was my turn. I came so fast I'm not sure I even made it all the way in her! Anyway, that was just the beginning of a wonderful week of sex. I haven't seen her in almost 20 years, but think of her often. No woman since has matched her

ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sat 03/17/07 11:15 PM Topic: Should we ban ShadowEagle
mistershamrock that's is what i been trying to tell people. These forums are for us to voice our thoughts and opinions. Do we believe in them some may say yes and some may say No. But, regardless we as a people have the power and conviction to let our voice be heard. Freedom of speech and freedom of opinions. I am not here to backlash anyone . I am just here merely to have fun. Whether my post are objective because of topic and you wish to comment on that's your right as well. Freedom of Speech is one of our greatest Constitutional right and we can't hate for someones thoughts or belief or we become the things we hate most and that's a Bigot......

ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sat 03/17/07 11:04 PM Topic: Jokes Galore
A lady walks into the drug store and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic. The pharmacist asks 'Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?' The lady say's 'To kill my husband.' 'I can't sell you any for that reason' says the pharmacist. The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a Photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. He looks at the photo and says 'Oh...........I didn't know you had a prescription!' ----------------------------------------------------------- A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise". The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down. "Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband. He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation. "Please," says the waiter, "what you order?" The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise." Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, You're going to love this.................... "I bring you Peeking Duck -------------------------------------------------------- A young couple had been married for a couple of weeks, but the man was always after his wife to quit smoking. One afternoon, she lit up after some love making, and he said, "You really ought to quit." She, getting tired of his nagging, said, "I really enjoy a good cigarette after sex." He replied, "But they stunt your growth." She asked if he ever smoked, and he replied that he never had. Smiling and lifting her gaze to his groin, she said, "So, what's your excuse ------------------------------------------------------- 1. A man will pay for a item he wants. A woman will pay for a item that she doesn't want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 4. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. 5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die. 6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. 7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. 8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. 9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. 10. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage. --------------------------------------------------------------- A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the huband keeps looking. The wife asks, "What are you waiting for?" The husband replies, "Autumn." ------------------------------------------------------ A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the huband keeps looking. The wife asks, "What are you waiting for?" The husband replies, "Autumn."

ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sat 03/17/07 10:38 PM Topic: By Now you people gpt to Realize I am a Nutcase Having Fun
Subject says it all....

ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sat 03/17/07 10:35 PM Topic: Help Us the Giant Lizards are gonna eat Us
CASE FILE #1: From: "The Reptilians: Humanity's Historical Link to the Serpent Race" by Joe Lewels, Ph.D.: "John Carpenter has kept close track of the abduction phenomenon. He is the director of abduction research for the Mutual UFO Network (MUFON), one of the largest and most credible organizations dedicated to the scientific study of UFOs and abductions. Carpenter holds a master's degree in social work and is a highly qualified hypnotherapist who works as a psychiatric social worker in Springfield, Missouri. Since the late 1980s, he has worked with more than 100 abductees and compiled information on hundreds of others. In addition, he is in contact with other researchers in the field. He has been involved in 10 cases where experiencers have described reptilian entities and he is aware of researchers in other parts of the country with similar cases. Abductees often have distinct claw like cuts and bruises on their bodies after their apparent abductions. "Carpenter summarized what he knows of these beings in his regular column, 'Abduction Notes,' MUFON UFO Journal, April 1993:'Typically, these reptilian creatures are reported to be about six to seven feet tall, upright, with lizard like scales, greenish to brownish in color with claw like, four-fingered webbed hands....Their faces are said to be a cross between a human and a snake, with a central ridge coming down from the top of the head to the snout. Adding to their serpent like appearance are their eyes which have vertical slits in their pupils and golden irises." Perhaps the most frightening and most controversial part of these stories are claims that the creatures occasionally are reported to have sex with abductees.'" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CASE FILE #2: From: 'OUR HAUNTED PLANET', by John A. Keel (1968. Fawcett Publications., Greenwich, Conn.): "...The parahuman Serpent People of the past are still among us. They were probably worshipped by the builders of Stonehenge and the forgotten ridge-making cultures of South America. "...In some parts of the world the Serpent People successfully posed as gods and imitated the techniques of the super intelligence. This led to the formation of pagan religions centered around human sacrifices. The conflict, so far as man himself was concerned, became one of religions and races. Whole civilizations based upon the worship of these false gods rose and fell in Asia, Africa, and South America. The battleground had been chosen, and the mode of conflict had been decided upon. "The human race would supply the pawns. The mode of control was complicated as usual. Human beings were largely free of direct control. Each individual HAD TO CONSCIOUSLY COMMIT HIMSELF TO ONE OF THE OPPOSING FORCES... "The main battle was for what was to become known as the human soul. "Once an individual had committed himself, he opened a door so that an indefinable something could actually enter his body and exercise some control over his subconscious mind. "...the Serpent People or Omega Group, attacked man in various ways, trying to rid the planet of him. But the superintelligence was still able to look over man... God worked out new ways of communication and control, always in conflict with the Serpent People." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CASE FILE #3: From: 'CURIOUS ENCOUNTERS', by Loren Coleman (Faber & Faber., Boston, Mass. 1985) pp. 70-76: "One classic Bigfoot story, (discussed in some detail in MYSTERIOUS AMERICA) namely, the Wetzel/Riverside, California sighting on 8 November 1958, CLEARLY FITS THE REPTILIAN MODE better than the anthropoid one. Wetzel described, as you may recall, the fluorescent-eyed 'thing' as having a protuberant mouth and a body COVERED WITH SCALES, looking like leaves. Wetzel's 'thing' emerged from the Santa Ana River underbrush. "The connection to water is a strong theme in all of these accounts so it is not so surprising that the next puzzle comes from the lake monster file. Trekking up the West Coast, the following report concerns a monster that actually looks like it stepped out of the wardrobe room of the Black Lagoon movie. "Thetis Lake is near Cottonwood, British Columbia, not far from Victoria, Cadboro Bay, off Victoria and Vancouver Island, (and) is well known for the perennial sea monster 'Cadborosaurus.' So understandably a new creature in the neighborhood would be grouped under the same type of facade by the press. But the Thetis monster appears to be something else altogether. "On 19 August 1972 Gordon Pike and Robin Flewellyn said a five-foot-tall animal appeared on the surface of Thetis Lake AND CHASED THEM FROM THE BEACH. Flewellyn was CUT on the hand by six razor-sharp points atop the monster's head. A Royal Canadian Mounted Police officer was quoted at the time as saying: 'The boys seem sincere, and until we determine otherwise we have no alternative but to continue our investigation.' "The next Wednesday afternoon, 23 August, the Thetis Monster was encountered again. Mike Gold and Russell Van Nice said they saw 'it' around 3:30 P.M. and on the other side of the lake away from the recreation area of its first appearance. Mike Gold noted: 'It came out of the water and looked around. Then it went back into the water. Then we ran!' He described the creature as 'shaped like an ordinary body, like a human being body but it had a monster face, and it was all scaly (with) a point sticking out of its head (and) great big ears.' It was silver. "The Thetis monster account sounds similar to one from Saginaw, Michigan, occurring in 1937. A man-like monster climbed up a river bank, leaned against a tree, and then returned to the river. The fisherman who witnessed this appearance suffered a nervous breakdown. This Saginaw tale, the reports of clawed and three-toed prints from Wisconsin to Missouri, and other supposedly 'Bigfoot' or 'manimal' encounters perhaps should be reexamined in light of the REPTILIAN creatures from the Black Lagoon. "The big Deltox Swamp, Wisconsin flap, investigated by Ivan T. Sanderson in 1979, for example, has always been shelved with Bigfoot reports. But what is to be made of the tracks of the creature, like footprints of 'a good-sized man with swim fins.' "This trait is a more frequent characteristic in the so- called eastern Bigfoot reports than you might realize. For example, there's the case of the creature of Charles Mill Lake in Mansfield, Ohio. A green-eyed, seven-foot-tall, seemingly armless humanoid, seen late in March 1959 by Michael Lane, Wayne Armstrong, and Dennis Patterson, came out of the lake and left behind 'tracks that resembled the footgear worn by skin divers.' The thing was seen again in 1963 and described as 'luminous and green-eyed.' I examined the site of these encounters and can testify to the Charles Mill Lake's swampy affinities--certainly a good home for a Black Lagoon beast... "In 1973, during the summer, residents of New Jersey's Newton-Lafayette area described A GIANT, MAN-LIKE ALLIGATOR they had seen locally. Newspaper reporters wrote about an old Indian tale from the region that told of a giant, man-sized fish that could never be caught. In 1977, New York State Conservation Naturalist Alfred Hulstruck reported that the state's Southern Tier had 'a scaled, man-like creature (that) appears at dusk from the red, algae-ridden waters to forage among the fern and moss- covered uplands.' "The New York-New Jersey record, however, cannot compare with the overwhelming series of narratives issuing from one place in the United States, the Ohio River Valley. "Over twenty years ago, by digging into the back issues of the Louisville, Kentucky, COURIER-JOURNAL, I discovered one of those gems that has kept me pondering its meaning for two decades. The interesting little item was in the 24 October 1878 issue. A 'WIld Man of the Woods' was captured, supposedly, in Tennessee, and then placed on exhibit in Louisville. The creature was described as being six feet, five inches tall, and having eyes twice the normal size. His body was 'COVERED WITH SCALES.' This article now makes some sense. "And then almost a hundred years later, again near Louisville, there are more stories of REPTILIAN ENTITIES. In October 1975, near Milton, Kentucky, Clarence Cable reported a 'giant lizard' was roaming the forests near his junkyard. Author Peter Guttilla described the creature Cable surprised as 'about fifteen feet long, had a foot-long forked tongue, and big eyes that bulged something like a frog's. It was dull-white with black-and-white stripes across its body with quarter-size speckles over it.' "On-site field investigations by Mark A. Hall, however, indicated this 'giant lizard' RAN BIPEDALLY, according to OTHER Trimble County, Kentucky witnesses. The Ohio River is Louisville's, Milton's, and Trimble county's northern boundary. "On 21 August 1955, near Evansville, Indiana, Mrs. Darwin Johnson was almost pulled forever into the depths of the Ohio River. In what seems to be a very close meeting with one of those creatures, Mrs. Johnson, of Godtown, Indiana, was swimming with her friend Mrs. Chris Lamble about fifteen feet from the shore when SUDDENLY SOMETHING GRABBED HER FROM UNDER THE SURFACE. It felt like the 'hand' had huge claws and 'furry' (or scaly?) palms. It came up from behind, grabbed her left leg, grabbed her knee, and pulled her under. She kicked and fought herself free. It pulled her under again. Although both women could not see the thing, they were screaming and yelling to scare it away. Finally, Mrs. Johnson lunged for Mrs. Lamble's inner tube, and the loud 'thump' apparently scared 'it' away, and 'it' released its grip. Back on shore, Mrs. Johnson received treatment for her scratches and marks on her leg. "Fortean investigator Terry Colvin passed on the information that Mrs. Johnson had a palm-print-shaped green stain below her knee that could not be removed, and it remained for several days. (Interestingly, Colvin learned the Johnsons were visited by an individual who identified himself as an Air Force colonel who took voluminous notes and warned them not to talk further about the incident. Of course, this sounds so similar to the 'Man-In- Black' encounter that is goes almost without saying.) "For anyone who has seen CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, the Ohio River encounter of Mrs. Darwin Johnson is already familiar, for her attack was foreshadowed in that movie... "1972... In March of that year on two separate occasions, two Ohio policemen saw what has become known as the 'Loveland Frogman.' Investigated by Ron Schaffner and Richard Mackey, these researchers interviewed the officers involved but have not published their names, instead using the fictitious names 'Williams' and 'Johnson.' "The first incident took place at 1:00 A.M. on 3 March 1972, on a clear, cold night. Officer Williams was on route to Loveland, via Riverside Road, when he thought he saw a dog beside the road. But when the 'thing' stood up, its eyes illuminated by the car lights, looked at him for an instant, turned, and leapt over the guardrail. Williams saw it go down an embankment into the Little Miami River, a mere fifteen or so miles from the Ohio River. He described the thing as weighing about sixty pounds, about three to four feet tall, having a textured leathery skin, AND A FACE LIKE A FROG OR LIZARD. Williams went on to the police station and returned with Officer Johnson to look for evidence of the creature. They turned up scrape-marks leading down the side of the small hill near the river. "On approximately 17 March 1972, Officer Johnson was driving outside of Loveland when he had a similar experience. Seeing an animal lying in the middle of the road, he stopped to remove what he thought was a dead critter. Instead, when the officer opened his squeaky car door, the animal got up into a crouched position like a football player. The creature hobbled to the guardrail and lifted its leg over, while constantly looking at Johnson. Perhaps it was the funny smirk on its face, but Johnson decided to shoot at it. He missed, he figured, since the thing didn't slow down. Johnson later told how he felt it was more upright than the way Williams described it. One area farmer told investigators he saw a large, FROG-LIKE OR LIZARD-LIKE CREATURE during the same month of the officers' sightings..." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CASE FILE #4: From: 'WORLD OF THE INCREDIBLE BUT TRUE', by Charles Berlitz (Fawcett Crest Books., N.Y.): "There have been numerous Bigfoot sightings in the United States and around the world. The humanlike creatures are usually said to be large and hairy with glowing eyes. During the summer of 1988, however, residents of Bishopville, South Carolina, reported accounts of a rare breed of Bigfoot: A SEVEN-FOOT-TALL LIZARD MAN WITH GREEN SCALY SKIN. According to witnesses, unlike other Bigfoot creatures Lizard Man has only three toes on each foot, as well as long apelike arms that end in three fingers tipped with FOUR-INCH CLAWS. Only the second Bigfoot to have only three fingers on each hand, and the first (discovered by Berlitz - Branton) to also have three toes on each foot. Lizard Man is the most unusual Bigfoot ever reported. "Seventeen-year-old Chris Davis first encountered Lizard Man around 2:00 A.S. on June 29. On his way home, the teen stopped near the brackish waters of Scape Ore Swamp outside Bishopville to change a flat tire. While replacing the jack in the car's trunk, he glimpsed something running across the field toward him. Jumping into his 1976 Toyota Celica, he was quickly engaged in a tug-of-war with the reptilian creature as he tried to pull the door closed. Then Lizard Man jumped onto the car's roof, where he left scratches in the paint as evidence of his attack. "Hysterical, Davis returned home and told only his parents and a few close friends about the experience. Law enforcement officers, however, interrogated him after neighbors said the boy might know something about the strange bite marks and scratches found on another car. "Davis wasn't alone in his report. Soon other reports were flooding the sheriff's office. Teenagers Rodney Nolfe and Shane Stokes, for example, were driving near the swamp with their girlfriends when Lizard Man darted across the road in front of their car. Construction worker George Holloman also claimed Lizard Man jumped at him as he was collecting water from an artesian well. "Investigating the area around the swamp, state trooper Mike Hodge and Lee County deputy sheriff Wayne Atkinson found three crumbled, forty-gallon cardboard drums. The tops of saplings were ripped off eight feet above the ground. And there were, according to Hodge, 'humongous footprints,' fourteen-by-seven- inch impressions in hard red clay. Following the tracks for four hundred yards, the officers backtracked and found new prints impressed in their car's tire tracks. According to state wildlife biologists, the footprints matched no known animal species." (This "Lizard Man" sighting was covered in one of the episodes of Tim White's "SIGHTINGS" documentary, "MONSTERS" segment, on the Fox Network - Branton). -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CASE FILE #5: From: the Omaha, Nebraska 'METRO UPDATE' for Oct. 29 - Nov. 4, 1990. Article by reporter Patricia C. Ress, titled: 'LINCOLN MAN RECOUNTS ABDUCTIONS BY ALIENS': "People have been talking about flying saucers for about 45 years now -- longer if you count the reports of the so-called 'foo fighters' seen by pilots on both sides during World War II. But within the past 20 years we've been hearing more about a more frightening side to these visitations - abduction by aliens. "The most famous case was that of Barney and Betty Hill, two New Englanders returning home from vacation and unable to account for a large block of missing time. Under hypnosis, a very frightening and detailed account of alien abduction emerged. Later there was Betty Andreason, who told of aliens who took her through walls and closed doors. "Then came Budd Hopkins, who made a study of such abductions and chronicled one case in 'INTRUDERS-THE INCREDIBLE VISITATIONS AT COPELY WOODS.' Next came the 'Gulf Breeze Sightings' in Florida, and most recently author Whitley Strieber's accounts of his own abductions in his books 'COMMUNION' and 'TRANSFORMATION.' "While most of these abductions took place in the East, some say that visiting aliens have been just as busy in the Midwest -- even Nebraska. A Lincoln man recently recounted his experiences during a talk at the Oakcrest Institute in Elkhorn. "John Foster has been an engineer in Lincoln for a number of years. Lincoln, in fact, is his home town and the place where his abduction experiences began back in 1950. A soft-spoken down-home type of man, Foster reminds people of a young Joel McCrea. "'Alien abduction is a terrifying and traumatic experience,' Foster told the audience. 'Psychiatric counselors don't know how to deal with this -- even if you can get them to believe you.' "Foster has gotten help and understanding from people like Dr. Leo Sprinkle of the University of Wyoming, who has dealt with numerous alien abduction cases. He also has been the subject of ridicule and rejection by both family and friends. "'Often in a UFO abduction experience, things happen that are absolutely unbelievable. I have been told that IT IS NOT UNCOMMON FOR FAMILIES TO BREAK UP AFTER SUCH AN EXPERIENCE. I finally reached the point where I no longer care what people think of me.' Foster said. "He said he wasn't fully aware of what had happened to him over the years until the 1980s. In 1981 he was sitting outside his home in Lincoln with a friend and on a lark, they both said a prayer (or incantation? - Branton) that they would see a flying saucer and soon after, one appeared, he said. "On another occasion in March, 1966, he saw a light out behind the trees as he sat on his patio, he said, and the sight triggered a distant memory of something that had happened to him when he was in grade school in Lincoln in 1950. "He said 40 or 50 people were outside watching a movie when swirling lights suddenly appeared, ALONG WITH A CRAFT THAT INITIALLY LOOKED LIKE A HELICOPTER. "Foster recalled being INCAPACITATED AND FEELING STRANGE. He said he saw a craft appear WITH THREE LITTLE MEN who appeared to be fixing it. He felt an overwhelming desire to get inside the craft, but once he did, he discovered it was in a different form. 'We got a lesson about history, mankind and something about Indians and buffalo,' he said. "When he looked around him, Foster said, he noticed that everyone else seemed to be FROZEN IN TIME. 'They all looked like statues,' he said, he saw a woman who told him she had FIXED HERSELF UP SO THAT HE WOULDN'T BE TRAUMATIZED. "He said he was taken to an examining room BY CREATURES THAT LOOKED 'LIKE FROGS OR LIZARDS.' The 'woman' told him they were the educators and would supervise his learning experience, he said. Among other strange things, Foster recalled THAT THE LIZARD MEN ENCOURAGED HIM TO JOIN THE MASONIC LODGE. "After he was examined, Foster said, he was sent back out of the craft to the crowd below. The woman (i.e. the being that had 'fixed' itself up to appear as a 'woman' - Branton) spoke to him in almost a scolding tone, saying that from then on he would be a good boy and mind his parents, he said. The woman seemed to know a lot about him, including the fact that he and some friends had stolen some pop and candy from a store across the street, he said. "In October 1986 Foster went camping with his wife and children at Niobrara Park and he had a short visitation which awakened more memories of previous abductions, he said. "By mid-December he recalled 50 abduction experiences, he said, and by January that number had grown to 2,000 and by January 1987, he had recalled 3,000 abductions. "Foster has recorded memories of 50 of the abductions in detail, another 450 in short notations and many others by locations only, he said. "'There are roughly two areas of the so-called close encounters,' Foster said. 'These may mesh together, but there are the abductees who seem to be taken aboard a craft to be examined and the contactees who appear to be contacted throughout life and seem to have an assignment.' "In June of 1987 Foster and his daughter met with several other contactees and he had the feeling that he had known them all his life, he said. "They helped him recall experiences from coast to coast and from Canada to Mexico, he said. "'I believe the UFO experiences are directed at you personally,' Foster said, 'but there are times when they can seem to address the population in general. "'THIS IS WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE CASE WITH THE MYSTERIOUS 'CORN CIRCLES' THAT FIRST APPEARED IN ENGLAND AND CAN NOW BE SEEN IN CANADA AND THE U.S. AND OTHER PLACES.' "Foster said profound things happened to him during his abductions and the world should know about them. HE WAS SHOWN HOW THE 'VISITORS' CAN MANIPULATE ATOMIC STRUCTURE AND CHANGE THINGS DIRECTLY AT WILL, he said, and was told things about scientific matters over the years, only to see them discovered afterward. "WHILE THE ENTITIES HE INITIALLY ENCOUNTERED LOOKED REPTILIAN, HE SAID, THE SPIRITUAL 'GUIDES' WERE MORE HUMAN IN APPEARANCE AND WERE ABLE TO 'PHASE IN AND OUT AT THE DEEPER LEVELS.' "On the initial level of the abduction experience there is a kind of excitement, Foster said, while on the deeper level, life plans emerge and there is interaction with people who have had similar experiences. Foster said there are four witnesses who can recall parts of at least three of his encounters. "Foster said that to document his experiences, he has made several drawings and paintings. He believes he has encountered at least 13 different kinds of crafts. "Foster said he remembers abductions that involved his friends when they were teenagers. A large floating phone booth would descend from a dark fog, he said, and a voice seemingly from a loud speaker would urge them to 'gather around for eternal wisdom and knowledge -- and something else about Indians and buffalo,' he said (Note: was the promise of 'eternal wisdom' the bait used to entrap them into the Reptilian agenda? We realize this sounds rather simplistic but traditions do say that this exact same strategy was used by the original 'Serpent' to destroy man's connection with the Almighty and, subsequently, his divinely-given authority over creation, including his dominion over the 'beasts'!? - Branton). "The voice over the loudspeaker would call them by name AND COULD AT TIMES SOUND SARCASTIC (as a manipulator might sound? - Branton). On one occasion, his friends SHOT AT THE BOOTH WITH RIFLES AND THREW BEER CANS AT IT. "When he was at Mahoney Lake in 1987, Foster said, he again saw both the booth and the saucer. He asked the entities to quite bothering him because he was disturbed when he couldn't recall his abductions, he said, AND THEY TOLD HIM IF HE REMEMBERED THE EXPERIENCES, IT WOULD NEGATE THEIR PURPOSE. "They also told him that if he didn't want to have any more abduction experiences, he would meet some people who would 'HELP HIM BECOME MORE METAPHYSICAL,' he said, and he later met such people. "He said he recalls being pulled up into a kind of floating bus and being taken into the future. He declined to say what he saw. "Foster said he was given experiments to do as an engineer. 'They worked, but they shouldn't have, according to what we know,' he said. "He said the 'guides' told him they were preparing people for a time when the chosen would be taken away. "...'I was told to awaken people to other dimensions and to participate in these realms,' he said..." (or is it rather to convince people to 'open' their minds up to 'invasion' by controlling forces from these other 'dimensions'? - Branton) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CASE FILE #6: From [confidential source]: The following information was sent to us via a researcher who is investigating a continuous abduction of a young (at the time, early 1990's) nine-year-old boy in southern Nevada, possibly to underground levels below that same area. Names, addresses and other details have been deleted on request to protect the sources. We quote from a series of notes exactly as they were sent to us, with our emphasis added: "1: The 'greys', he says they don't use words but communicate THROUGH him. THEY SHOW THEIR DISPLEASURE BY WRINKLING THEIR NOSES AND PURSING THEIR LIPS WITH A SLIGHT HISSING SOUND AT HIM. "2: HE SAYS HE FEELS LIKE HE'S BEING WATCHED WHEREVER HE GOES (Note: This is a common observation made by people who claim to have been abducted to aerial AND/OR subsurface realms - Branton). "3: This is what they look like to him (a drawing was included depicting a traditional 'gray' of somewhat 'wiry' build - Branton). "4: This is what the uniform they wear looks like to him. He says the box in the middle has different colored flashing buttons. "5: This is the large 'boat', A SORT OF FLOATING ISLAND HE WAS BROUGHT TO (Note: Some aspects of the abduction suggest that this was located in large underground lake or sea within a series of deep subterranean caverns - Branton). THERE WERE MANY 'HYBRIDS' ON IT ALSO. "6: These are the hybrids he sees. He says that they sit in a large circle holding hands. There is one small candle with a very large flame going. HE SAYS HE IS NOT AFRAID OF THE HYBRIDS who BLEND with him and he says it feels very peaceful and good. When asked if the greys were the only aliens he sees, HE DREW THE REPTILIAN, THESE ARE THE UNIFORMS ON THEM ALSO. HE SAYS THE GREYS COME TO GET HIM, BUT THEY FOLLOW THE LEADERSHIP OF THE REPTILIANS. HE CALLED IT A LIZARD. "HE SAID HE SEES HUMAN BEINGS - ALIVE - HANGING FROM A WALL WITH NO EYES, OR MOUTHS LEFT

ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sat 03/17/07 10:15 PM Topic: This one should make you people laugh.
typo prevent

ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sat 03/17/07 10:15 PM Topic: This one should make you people laugh.
You know those Security devices that they put on clothes to perfect you from stealing from stores. They have a different type that they sew into the collar or back tags of shirts , pants and underwears. The ones where you see a tag that says : "Please remove before washing" Well here's a little story about them unless you people already do know... RFID TECHNOLOGY IS QUICKLY BECOMING CORPORATE AMERICA’S WET DREAM AND A PRIVACY ADVOCATE’S WORST NIGHTMARE Digital Journal — In November 2005, 28-year-old Brooklyn resident Mikey Sklar got himself tagged. He bought a small radio-frequency identification chip (RFID) over the Internet for $2.10 and an injector gun resembling a giant syringe to implant the chip between the thumb and forefinger of his left hand. A surgeon friend performed the simple procedure in Sklar’s kitchen. Sklar joined a small and growing group who use RFID chips, or tags, in imaginative ways. He programmed his chip — the size of a grain of rice — with a personal password. Each day when he arrived for work at a Manhattan investment bank, he’d wave his hand at his computer and it would sign him in instantly. This sci-fi cyborg idea is very lucrative for companies like VeriChip, which makes implantable tags for humans. They service companies such as Cincinnati-based CityWatcher.com, a video-surveillance business that requires employees to implant a VeriChip tag into their arms to access high-security areas. Despite sounding like a far-fetched idea from Orwell’s 1984, “taggers” like Sklar view these embedded chips as simply another technology to make their lives easier. By injecting themselves with chips, taggers are showing the world just how huge RFID has become — and it’s about more than two-dollar piercings and password banks. Frankly, RFID is poised to take over the world. Call it Barcodes 2.0. The transition has already begun, and the real promise of the technology is in retail and supply chains where the chips are revolutionizing businesses and saving billions of dollars. Supporters hope RFID will blanket every industry and every channel of distribution. But while the cost savings might be encouraging, the RFID revolution also has privacy advocates up in arms. Detractors are worried that companies could eventually use the technology to track your every move. RETAIL GETS TAGGED Imagine saving your company $1 billion (all figures US) in inventory costs by installing a technology as small as a grain of sand. Well, that’s what Wal-Mart CEO Lee Scott says his company will save, thanks to the new barcode with brains. A radio-frequency identification tag is essentially a miniscule computer that emits a radio signal. The signal allows the chip to “talk” to a network system so it can be tracked as it moves through a company’s supply chain. In 2003, Wal-Mart announced it was going to require its top suppliers to use the tags and after much testing, its RFID campaign went live in January 2005. Execs drooled even more when analysts projected savings of up to $8.35 billion with a complete RFID makeover. How? Simply by making supply chains more efficient. Before RFID, stockroom clerks would manually record products as they arrived to the store, sifting through order forms to confirm inventory. On the sales floor, if toothpaste was running low, the “associate” (as Wal-Mart calls them) would have to scan the barcode to see how many items were left in stock, then go through the tedious task of finding more Colgate in the crowded stockroom. But by using RFID, Wal-Mart completely overhauled the process: On every door at the back of the store, the company installed RFID readers and antennas. As each skid and box passes an RFID antenna, a flashing light indicates that the case’s tag had been read — no computer screens, no manual counting. The products are automatically added to the store’s inventory through its computer system. The retailer also installed RFID readers on doors leading out to the sales floor. As boxes are taken out of the stockroom to replenish shelves, tags on the cases are read and the system updates itself, knowing the items have been put on the floor. If a product is sold out, the computer sends a message to the store manager to indicate what needs replenishing. In addition to finding product, RFID has the potential to eliminate one of shopping’s worst headaches: the checkout desk. Future versions could allow you to simply walk through an RFID checkout with all of your groceries in hand and readers could automatically debit your bank account or credit card. A cashier’s job might be rendered obsolete. In fact, you probably already use RFID technology every day without even knowing it: automated payment (such as the keychain tag you wave at the gas pump), access badges for high-security areas, airline baggage tracking, and smart homes and offices. The technology is also popular for pet owners who want to track their wandering companions. Perhaps the biggest use of RFID is in new vehicles — your keys (and only your keys) send an RFID signal to the car’s computer before the engine starts. Carjackers wouldn’t be able to start your car without keys outfitted with RFID. RFID rollouts are also gaining momentum in dozens of other applications. Clothing retailers and libraries across the globe have implemented RFID technology to track inventory and stop theft. Toll-collection devices have been using this technology for years — if you drive with a transponder, you already take advantage of RFID. The RFID frenzy has fuelled speculation that the technology will become as ubiquitous as the barcode. UK-based IDTechEx estimates that by 2016 the RFID market will be worth $26 billion. One celebrated study from the University of Arkansas reported that RFID-enabled stores had reduced out-of-stock items by 16 per cent. The study also said that RFID-tagged items were put on the shelf three times faster than usual. Companies work hard to develop brand loyalty, which can be fruitless when stores can’t replenish their shelves fast enough, says Clarke McAllister, president and CEO of Adasa, a company that sells RFID technology. “Manufacturers should never lose a customer because a store is out of stock.” It’s not only retailers that are convinced RFID will reshape the future of business: The Pentagon and NATO, which manage huge supply chains to ship support material, have already built global systems with the technology. NO PLACE TO HIDE With the rising use of RFID technology all over the world, it’s no surprise people now worry how much RFID will track what we buy. A small but vocal group sees RFID as nothing less than a threat to privacy. They have gathered loosely under the informal leadership of Katherine Albrecht and Liz McIntyre, authors of Spychips: How Major Corporations and Government Plan to Track Your Every Move with RFID. Their group is called Consumers Against Supermarket Privacy Invasion and Numbering (CASPIAN), and they are fighting the new technology fiercely. As far as they’re concerned, RFID can track your every move, and that makes the chip evil (Mark of the Beast, anyone?). For them, RFID puts the average citizen under a Big Brother microscope, all the better to watch what we’re buying. Since RFID tags can hold much more information than barcodes, and don’t require line-of-sight scanning, your preferences in shampoo or underwear are easily discernible. More frightening scenarios concern the possibility of human tracking systems by government or hackers. To CASPIAN, this is tantamount to totalitarianism. In a foreword to Spychips, author Bruce Sterling wrote that the people who promote RFID are “very covert, spooky, and…anxious to keep mum” about the technology’s dark side. The authors go on to say that with these chips, corporations and governments will be able to track items and people from a distance. “One of their insider terms for spying on customers is customer relationship management (CRM). You can think of it as a euphemism for consumer espionage.” The book includes a relatively short history of technology that is full of such worries, some reasonable, others feverish doomsday scenarios. But RFID arrives at a time when media are reporting on unprecedented government intrusion. Washington’s post-9/11 efforts to conduct wiretaps without court orders have raised concerns about privacy violation. The FBI is still developing an enormous project to snoop on Internet traffic, which was given the awful name of Carnivore (later renamed DCS1000). Another controversy surrounds government-issued travel documents that may feature RFID chips. These cards (part of a U.S. requirement for all North American travel starting in 2008) could be read from 25 feet away, sparking concerns that criminals equipped with a reader could collect your personal information without you ever knowing. A top Homeland Security official tried to allay fears at a Virginia smart card conference, saying, “What we’re putting in the card is possibly nothing but a 96-digit serial number that is random and would do nothing but point back to a database…someone would have to hack into our database at the same time.” Another RFID supporter echoes those sentiments. The kind of chips privacy groups fear need to be much larger to hold batteries, and would be about the size of a chalkboard eraser, says Nicholas Chavez, president of RFID Limited, in a rebuttal he wrote to the Spychips book. Not only will these large chips be “both extremely uncomfortable and decidedly unfashionable as undergarment accessories,” Chavez wrote, they would be too expensive to deploy in mass amounts. What makes this kind of chip especially impractical is that to remain effective as a spychip, its batteries would have to be changed or recharged regularly, which defeats the secrecy of spying. To further quell privacy unrest, IBM recently announced the unveiling of its so-called Clipped Tag, an RFID chip with a notched antenna that consumers can tear off like the end of a ketchup packet. This reduces the readable range of the device from 30 feet to less than two inches, ruling out the possibility of security attacks from a distance, according to IBM. Another challenge for RFID adopters is the amateur hackery designed to exploit the technology’s weaknesses. Earlier this year, two German students known fondly as “MiniMe” and “Mahajivana” turned a disposable camera into a gadget that zapped RFID tags. Using simple rewiring and soldering, the camera emitted electromagnetic pulses that overloaded circuitry and destroyed the tags. These experiments expose potential holes that can now be addressed, admits McAllister. “RFID is not as far along as other technologies,” he says, “and these are the things that ultimately give corporations the opportunity to go in and fix problems.” In the industry magazine RFID Journal, editor Mark Roberti says these overhyped stories leave the public confused and afraid of the new technology. “Journalists love to scare people because it encourages them to read articles,” Roberti writes. “They love to use phrases such as ‘security expert’ or ‘encryption algorithm’ and ‘researchers at (fill in the blank) university’ to give credibility to claims. They tend, however, to leave out the context that makes the story less frightening, which means end users could make bad business decisions based on misinformation.” IDENTITY HEFT Despite early challenges with RFID technology, Wal-Mart expects another 300 suppliers to be using RFID by the end of 2007, for a total of 600. It is also expected to add sensor tags to perishable items such as fruit, in order to ensure a crate of bananas, for example, is sold when it’s ripe. With the great promises of RFID, the Gap, Walgreens, Gillette and others were quick to jump on the bandwagon, terrified they would be lost in the dust of Wal-Mart’s aggressive move. Target, Lowe’s and Home Depot have also demanded their suppliers arrange similar RFID retrofits. Now, every retailer looking to survive in its competitive field is moving to RFID. A side-effect of this RFID compliance is the growing concern that retailers will know what you buy and from where. Tracking your shopping habits may help them “serve you better,” to use retail lingo, but it also worries those who prefer to keep their spending sprees to themselves. If a tagged item is paid for by credit card or loyalty card such as Air Miles, it would be possible to connect the unique identity of that item to the purchaser. More futuristic outlooks envision consumers wearing tagged items, such as shirts or watches, that will trigger LCD billboards to display custom commercials for that RFID wearer. “It’s not about RFID as much as it is about the use of personal information,” says McAllister. “People already give sensitive data like credit card information in some way.” The anti-RFID camp is fighting an uphill battle, as RFID supporters are growing in number every week. The result: Competition lowers cost, allowing RFID to evolve into the next-generation tracking chip. RFID Limited’s Chavez, in writing his rebuttal to the Spychips book, had good reason to believe RFID naysayers won’t topple this new tech trend. He carefully examined a copy of Spychips, and sandwiched between the pages of his copy was the object of the authors’ alarm: ironically, a paper-thin RFID tag inserted by the Barnes & Noble bookstore chain to prevent shoplifting. “Certainly, if this tag wasn’t hidden, someone could walk out with the book and the authors of Spychips would have lost their royalty payment,” he noted dryly. “On a larger scale, if everyone stole the book, Ms. Albrecht and Ms. McIntyre would receive no monies at all.” HOW RFID CAN MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER…OR WORSE ON THE UPSIDE When you run out of milk, your smart refrigerator alerts you to pick up more. Equipped with a tag reader, your fridge knows what products it holds and when certain foods expire. No clue yet what a smart chip will taste like when you bite into an RFID-tagged apple. Talking medicine could be a reality with RFID. Pharmacies will supply tags with label information read by a battery-powered talking prescription reader. “Warning, your eyes are too weak to read our 3-point font, so please do not ingest this medication with any rum-based alcohol.” Don’t you hate cashiers, with their slow arms and blank stares? With RFID, cashiers will be obsolete in a world where you can self-scan your products under a reader, and your bank instantly deducts the price from your account.

ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sat 03/17/07 10:09 PM Topic: Do Aliens exisit and are they gonna Eat our Brains
fedman i know you are patriotic toward this some-what great country of ours . I am just saying to be objectional but, then again time and history has proven that there are some faults within our political structure of our government and sometimes curiosity and question need to be examine. Just by posting whatever research i have done and posted isn't a state on my beliefs but, rather a way to see if we are really open-minded people as we say we are. As if you noticed I posted them but, didn't state in them i believed in them.. No where did it say i agreed with these theorectical conspiracy theories. All I did was merely post them.

ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sat 03/17/07 09:42 PM Topic: Top 50's list of Stupid Quotes By Bush
50. "I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here." -at the President's Economic Forum in Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002 49. "We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease." -Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14, 2001 48. "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.'' -Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001 47. "We both use Colgate toothpaste." -after a reporter asked what he had in common with British Prime Minister Tony Blair, Camp David, Md., Feb. 23, 2001 46. "Tribal sovereignty means that; it's sovereign. I mean, you're a - you've been given sovereignty, and you're viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities." -Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004 45. "I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves." -Washington, D.C., Sept. 21, 2003 44. "I'm the commander - see, I don't need to explain - I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being president." -as quoted in Bob Woodward's Bush at War 43. "I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport." -Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001 42. "The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself." -Grand Rapids, Mich., Jan. 29, 2003 41. "I saw a poll that said the right track/wrong track in Iraq was better than here in America. It's pretty darn strong. I mean, the people see a better future." -Washington, D.C., Sept. 23, 2004 40. "Oh, no, we're not going to have any casualties." -discussing the Iraq war with Christian Coalition founder Pat Robertson, as quoted by Robertson 39. "I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft." -presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004 38. "Haven't we already given money to rich people? Why are we going to do it again?" -to economic advisers discussing a second round of tax cuts, as quoted by former Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neil, Washington, D.C., Nov. 26, 2002 37. "We need an energy bill that encourages consumption." -Trenton, N.J., Sept. 23, 2002 36. "After standing on the stage, after the debates, I made it very plain, we will not have an all-volunteer army. And yet, this week - we will have an all-volunteer army!" -Daytona Beach, Fla., Oct. 16, 2004 35. "Do you have blacks, too?" -to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001 34. "This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating." -as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002 33. "I got to know Ken Lay when he was head of the - what they call the Governor's Business Council in Texas. He was a supporter of Ann Richards in my run in 1994. And she had named him the head of the Governor's Business Council. And I decided to leave him in place, just for the sake of continuity. And that's when I first got to know Ken and worked with Ken." -attempting to distance himself from his biggest political patron, Enron Chairman Ken Lay, whom he nicknamed "Kenny Boy," Washington, D.C., Jan. 10, 2002 32. "It is white." -after being asked by a child in Britain what the White House was like, July 19, 2001 31. "I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah." -at a White House menorah lighting ceremony, Washington, D.C., Dec. 10, 2001 30. "For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it." -Philadelphia, Penn., May 14, 2001 29. "I don't know why you're talking about Sweden. They're the neutral one. They don't have an army." -during a Dec. 2002 Oval Office meeting with Rep. Tom Lantos, as reported by the New York Times 28. "You forgot Poland." -to Sen. John Kerry during the first presidential debate, after Kerry failed to mention Poland's contributions to the Iraq war coalition, Miami, Fla., Sept. 30, 2004 27. "I'm the master of low expectations." -aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003 26. "I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things." -aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003 25. "I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right." -Rome, Italy, July 22, 2001 24. "We need to counter the shockwave of the evildoer by having individual rate cuts accelerated and by thinking about tax rebates." -Washington, D.C. Oct. 4, 2001 23. "People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you." -Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2002 22. "I wish you'd have given me this written question ahead of time so I could plan for itI'm sure something will pop into my head here in the midst of this press conference, with all the pressure of trying to come up with answer, but it hadn't yet.I don't want to sound like I have made no mistakes. I'm confident I have. I just haven't - you just put me under the spot here, and maybe I'm not as quick on my feet as I should be in coming up with one." -President George W. Bush, after being asked to name the biggest mistake he had made, Washington, D.C., April 3, 2004 21. "The really rich people figure out how to dodge taxes anyway." -explaining why high taxes on the rich are a failed strategy, Annandale, Va., Aug. 9, 2004 20. "My plan reduces the national debt, and fast. So fast, in fact, that economists worry that we're going to run out of debt to retire." -radio address, Feb. 24, 2001 19. "You know, when I was one time campaigning in Chicago, a reporter said, 'Would you ever have a deficit?' I said, 'I can't imagine it, but there would be one if we had a war, or a national emergency, or a recession.' Never did I dream we'd get the trifecta." -Houston, Texas, June 14, 2002 (There is no evidence Bush ever made any such statement, despite recounting the trifecta line repeatedly in 2002. A search by the Washington Post revealed that the three caveats were brought up before the 2000 campaign - by Al Gore.) 18. "See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction." -Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003 17. "The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa." -State of the Union Address, Jan. 28, 2003, making a claim that administration officials knew at the time to be false 16. "In Iraq, no doubt about it, it's tough. It's hard work. It's incredibly hard." -repeating the phrases "hard work," "working hard," "hard choices," and other "hard"-based verbiage 22 times in his first debate with Sen. John Kerry 15. "The most important thing is for us to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him." -Washington, D.C., Sept. 13, 2001 14. "I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important. It's not our priority." -Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002 13. "But all in all, it's been a fabulous year for Laura and me." -summing up his first year in office, three months after the 9/11 attacks, Washington, D.C., Dec. 20, 2001 12. "I try to go for longer runs, but it's tough around here at the White House on the outdoor track. It's sad that I can't run longer. It's one of the saddest things about the presidency." -interview with "Runners World," Aug. 2002 11. "Can we win? I don't think you can win it." -after being asked whether the war on terror was winnable, "Today" show interview, Aug. 30, 2004 10. "I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace." -Washington, D.C. June 18, 2002 9. "I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn't do my job." -to a group of Amish he met with privately, July 9, 2004 8. "Major combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed." -speaking underneath a "Mission Accomplished" banner aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln, May 1, 2003 7. "We found the weapons of mass destruction. We found biological laboratories And we'll find more weapons as time goes on. But for those who say we haven't found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they're wrong, we found them." -Washington, D.C., May 30, 2003 6. "Those weapons of mass destruction have got to be somewhere!" -President George W. Bush, as he narrated a comic slideshow during the Radio & TV Correspondents' Association dinner, Washington, D.C., March 24, 2004 5. "If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." -Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2000 4. "There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again." -Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002 3. "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." -Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004 2. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." -Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004 1. "My answer is bring them on." -on Iraqi insurgents attacking U.S. forces, Washington, D.C., July 3, 2003

ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sat 03/17/07 09:36 PM Topic: Do Aliens exisit and are they gonna Eat our Brains
Life forms so alien that scientists may simply not have recognised evidence of their existence could inhabit the Earth, according to a leading scientist. Dr Tom Gold, emeritus professor of astronomy at Cornell University in America, believes that organisms based on silicon - completely unrelated to all the carbon-based life man has encountered so far - may live at great depths. In a forthcoming book he will suggest that scientists should take the possibility more seriously. Gold, who is a member of the Royal Society, previously predicted that vast amounts of more conventional bacteria live miles down within the Earth's crust. Scientists initially dismissed the idea, but many now agree with him. "So long as nobody suspects there could be silicon-based life, we may just not be clever enough to identify it," he said last week. Rocks bearing signs of silicon-based organisms may already be sitting in laboratories, he believes, with their significance overlooked. Every known living organism, from bacteria to mankind, is based on the chemistry of carbon, which forms the complex molecules such as DNA that are central to our existence. Scientists believe that if extraterrestrial life is found, the chances are that it, too, will be carbon-based. Silicon has many chemical similarities to carbon, prompting scholars and science fiction writers to dream up new life forms. Huge "space slugs" that can swallow space ships appear in the film The Empire Strikes Back; in an episode of Star Trek a rock-like alien attacked Captain Kirk's crew; and killer parasites based on silicon surfaced in The X-Files when scientists explored the interior of a volcano. Gold's life forms, if they exist, would most likely be micro-organisms capable of withstanding enormous pressures and temperatures, living in tiny pores inside rock deep within the Earth's crust. They could draw energy from dissolved gases and surrounding minerals. Gold's ideas, which centre on an alternative explanation for oil and mineral deposits, will be published in his book, The Deep Hot Biosphere, in January. "It is speculative but logical that there could be a large bio-chemical system very deep down which works better at high temperatures and pressures," he said. Others are sceptical. Dr Harold Klein, who headed the Viking lander project team that searched for signs of life on Mars in the 1970s, pointed out that silicon was far inferior to carbon at forming the complex polymers crucial for life. "I personally doubt the idea of silicon-based life. If we do find organisms far down inside the Earth, I'd bet they'd be carbon-based," he said. Nevertheless, he urges future missions to Mars to carry an instrument to test for non-carbon-based organisms - just in case. It is possible that the chemistry of silicon is altered sufficiently by the great temperatures and pressures deep in the Earth to make it more suited to forming complex molecules, according to David Noever, a research scientist at Nasa's new Astrobiology Institute. He said some scientists at the American space agency were treating the idea of silicon-based organisms seriously, particularly with a view to searching for extraterrestrial life. "It's almost naive to assume all life must be carbon-based; I could possibly make good cases for life based on both silicon and phosphorus," he said. Silicon is used by some carbon-based single-cell organisms called diatoms to form protective shells, according to Dr David Williams, a diatom researcher at the Natural History Museum in London. But diatoms are still fundamentally carbon-based. However, bizarre organisms have been found in recent years deep in the Earth's crust. Steve Jones, professor of genetics at University College London, said: "There's an unknown universe down there that has already produced organisms with metabolisms so strange that, by comparison, man and mushrooms are almost identical, so God knows what else they'll find." Microbes have been found living on the ocean floor at depths and temperatures where life was previously thought unsustainable. Without knowing what silicon-based life forms might be like, said Dr Harry Elderfield, an earth scientist at Cambridge University, it is almost impossible to predict how scientists could even test for them. Yet Gold has been described by Stephen Jay Gould, president of the American Association for the Advancement of Science, as one of the most iconoclastic scientists - but one who is often right.

ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sat 03/17/07 09:32 PM Topic: Did U.S and Israel have anything to do with 9/11
like i say freedom of choice and freedom of opinions if you are not open to possible scenarios then it's says that you are close-minded as well. Just one thought.... Osama Bin Laden went to School in London. As well as he and his people were trained by United Government to fight the Soviet Union during the time they were attacking his country. So, if he went to school in London and was trained by the U.S.A what to say that he isn't here right now in America. What country wasn't built on some history that they wish never happened. One of our bloodiest wars was Vietnam war and of course the civil war. So, If i said to you that the Vietnam war was wrong and we shouldn't have been there then i am a traitor. This is the wonderful thing our country built on Conspiracy theories... Just to give you a little Information 2 brothers are dead in iraq 1 Fiancee killed in 2003 at Kandarhar Airforce base she was a Communication Division and a Captain and this was covered up when they said no females were killed in the Iraq war. 1 cousin killed (Marine) Hooray

ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sat 03/17/07 09:10 PM Topic: Satanic Art is catholic church exposed
'Satanic' art in Catholic Church exposed Documentary links clergy sex abuse with occult imagery -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Posted: March 25, 2006 1:00 a.m. Eastern © 2006 WorldNetDaily.com Could the Roman Catholic Church's sex abuse crisis be tied to embedded Satanic and occultic imagery in its artwork – some of it hundreds of years old? That is the seemingly incredible thesis of a new documentary, "Rape of the Soul," made not by anti-Catholic bigots, but by devout followers of the Church. "Rape of the Soul" is in theatrical release in major cities, including New York and Los Angeles. The documentary explores the prevalent use of satanic, sexual, occult and anti-Catholic images in historical and contemporary religious artwork. The film also discusses the mysterious acceptance of the artwork at the highest and most trusted levels of the Catholic Church. "Rape of the Soul" is rated R because of the disturbing content involving demonic, violent and sexual imagery. The film, which is being released by Silver Sword International, contends a major cause of sexual abuse in the Catholic Church could be due to prolonged exposure to sexual and satanic images being incorporated into the religious art. Experts are featured in the film to offer detailed accounts of the subconscious programming effects of the sex and occult images on the human brain and how it promotes sex, Satanism and the occult. Religious education materials, songbooks, children's story books, devotionals and the Sunday Missals all have been found to contain embedded imagery. The 140-minute film shows a compilation of the events, investigations, discovery and exposure of implanted imagery in religious art. Then it shows the devastating affects of the artwork that is primarily aimed at children and the clergy. Five experts speak on the different aspects of the artwork, including Michael A. Calace, an Italian director, actor, writer and producer who is also a devout Roman Catholic. Calace embarked on a mission of "Merging Media with Morality" to create family-oriented films of true life drama for Silver Sword International, his production company. While doing so, he uncovered a series of religious scandals. Calace puts to use his experiences of more than 20 years of expertise to discover a huge amount of offensive images of carefully embedded sexual and occult horror. He explains the techniques used to embed the images, and he presents discoveries from his investigations. "The deeper I dug, the more I discovered, not just in regard to contemporary art, but works dating back more than 500 years, from some well-known and respected artists. Sex and horror is the fuel that promotes the scandalous behavior in the Church. This is the answer why, and Church leaders don't have to look very far, because the problem is coming from within the Church itself," said Calace of his research. Other experts include Wilson Bryan Key, an American recognized internationally for over 30 years of embedded-imagery expertise. He also was a professor at the University of Western Ontario. Stanley Monteith, another expert in the film, is an author and radio talk show host who has spent more than 30 years researching the causes of America's moral decline. Monteith also has extensively studied the Vatican's history and politics and has interviewed Malachi Martin, the former Jesuit priest on many different occasions. Marc Oster contributes his expertise in psychology and hypnosis. Judith Reisman, the final expert featured in "Rape of the Soul," is a world-renowned author, who specializes in child psychology and the harmful effects of pornography. She is also president of The Institute for Media Education and author of a U.S. Department of Justice study on juveniles. "These images, unrecognized by the untrained eye, can be a ticking time-bomb to an individual who is unaware of their presence, especially someone who is already predisposed to deviant sexual behavior," said Reisman. "Artists from DaVinci to Botticelli have embedded subliminal images into their art for centuries," said Calace. "In this case we found penises on crucifixes, anarchy symbols, swastikas, demonic faces and in modern works even the word 'sex' encrypted into the images. The works in question include modern artists' work currently on the covers of missalettes and hymnals that at this very moment sit in the pews of churches throughout the U.S. and on children's religious teaching aids." Calace said, "'Rape of the Soul' was created to heal the many that have suffered from these uninvited violations."

ShadowEagle Joined Fri 03/02/07 Posts: 303	Sat 03/17/07 08:47 PM Topic: Bush begging ABC not to pursue story
Sunday, 10 September 2006 Bush Announces September 11th Primetime Address And Asks ABC To Interrupt 'Path Of 9/11' 'Oh, dear gods, please don't let the people know who really did it ...' Yet another wrinkle was thrown into the factually-challenged ABC "Path Of 9/11" drama today: President Bush is planning a prime-time address from the Oval Office on Monday to mark the fifth anniversary of 9/11 — and has asked the networks for time to broadcast his remarks. If all goes according to controversially-scheduled plan, ABC will be entering the final hour of the five-hour, two-part, commercial-free miniseries, which has been hotly debated over the past few days when it was revealed that elements of the film were fabricated, improvised, and not remotely grounded in proven fact. The "docu-drama," which purports to have been "based on" the 9/11 Commission Report (but which has since been downgraded to "based in part" on the report, though they don't specify which part) has been the subject of intense criticism from a broad range of individuals, blogs and media outlets — as well as former President Bill Clinton, former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright and former National Security Advisor Sandy Berger, all of whom have complained to ABC about factual misrepresentations about their actions and related events as portrayed in the film. ABC has not yet announced what it will do with respect to the Bush speech, or whether it will, in fact, pull the miniseries as a result of the furor. According to ABC, the film is still undergoing revisions and edits in response to complaints; said Berger: "You can't fix it... You gotta yank it."

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