A lady walks into the drug store and asks the pharmacist for some
arsenic.
The pharmacist asks 'Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?'
The lady say's 'To kill my husband.'
'I can't sell you any for that reason' says the pharmacist.
The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a Photo of her
husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
He looks at the photo and says 'Oh...........I didn't know you had a
prescription!'


-----------------------------------------------------------
A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken
Surprise". The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises
slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around
before the lid slams back down.
"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.
He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and
again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before
it slams down.
Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening,
and demands an explanation.
"Please," says the waiter, "what you order?"
The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."
Ah... so sorry," says the waiter,
You're going to love this....................
"I bring you Peeking Duck
--------------------------------------------------------
A young couple had been married for a couple of weeks, but the man was
always after his wife to quit smoking.
One afternoon, she lit up after some love making, and he said, "You
really ought to quit."
She, getting tired of his nagging, said, "I really enjoy a good
cigarette after sex."
He replied, "But they stunt your growth."
She asked if he ever smoked, and he replied that he never had.
Smiling and lifting her gaze to his groin, she said, "So, what's your
excuse
-------------------------------------------------------
1. A man will pay for a item he wants. A woman will pay for a item that
she doesn't want.
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man
never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
4. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.
5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot
more willing to die.
6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two
people remembering the same thing.
7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow
deteriorate during the night.
8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man
marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after
that is the beginning of a new argument.
10. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before
marriage and after marriage.
---------------------------------------------------------------
A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women
with only her privates covered with leaves.
The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the huband keeps looking.
The wife asks, "What are you waiting for?"
The husband replies, "Autumn."
------------------------------------------------------
A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked women
with only her privates covered with leaves.
The wife doesn't like it and moves on but the huband keeps looking.
The wife asks, "What are you waiting for?"
The husband replies, "Autumn."