Hello to all. I'm a mature, single man looking to date a mature woman. I'm open to the idea of a long-term relationship, even marriage, but I'd like to take things slowly, one step at a time.

So often it seems that I see posts and profiles online from women who seem to need to get married (and quickly!).

Am I missing something? Am I behind the times? Is it OK just to want to date for a while and see how things develop?

All comments welcome. Thanks.

If you don't date, how do you develop a 'yen' for someone? Is that not the point of dating?

I think he says that he WANTS to date.

I know, I am agreeing with him ;-)

I wanna date too

Stay away from people who want to skip the "dating" stage, and sail right into a marriage... there is always a hidden agenda there ??
Besides , dating is the best part of a relationship.... !!!

It's totally okay! The great news is it's our life and we get to live it the way we choose. If you want to go slow and just date, that's okay.

In the past, I wasn't receptive to "just dating". It was always instant relationship... then finding out later that you're really not compatible, least not for a sustainable loving relationship, the happier ever after kind of thing. It was more like settling for the sake of having a partner in life, being a couple rather than being single... as if there was something wrong with being single or being fussy in choosing the right one.

Or allowing fear of growing old all alone, peer pressure, or family member pressure rule over me. I remember last year my sister telling me, "You're not getting any younger, better take what you can get". Hahaha, silly me allowed that to influence my decision in uprooting myself and jumping head first into my last relationship... rather than listening to my true heart's desire to take it slow and see where it would go. It lasted a whole five months.

Oh well, lesson finally learned, haha. And now, four months shy of turning 61, I am still single and loving it!!! I have no desire to be in an exclusive relationship at this time, I only want to date. If it takes the next 40 years of just dating to find the right one for me, or know he's the right one for me, then so be it. And even if it never happens, I'm okay with that too.

99.999% correct. lol. usually if wanting marriage too soon, they want something. be very very VERY CAUTIOUS!

with that said, i sorta mentioned marriage to 1 person, not directly, but I have held her ring finger and told her to say the word and I would put a ring on it, HOWEVER, we are best friends, we known each other 40+ years, we grew up together, i know almost everything there is to know, as well as her knowing most about me. but wont date me, her health declining, and ex does work around her home and doesnt want to be a burden, nor lose free help. we had lunch yesterday, i ate at her house Christmas, so we see each other couple times a month, she also works same company and see each other 4-5 days a week there. when she needs something i am usually first to call, early this week, car wouldnt crank, call me 5am to jump it off. for emergency heat, uses a portable propane heater, when it runs out of propane, i get called to swap tanks, i have key to her house, so I may swap in morning while she is working. she pays me for all i do, but wont so much as kiss me. so i still have profile here, and actively asking women out, 99% rejection though.

with that said, there is no way in HELL I would consider marrying anyone else until dated probably 1 year, maybe more, you have to get to know, while the 1 person i mentioned, only thing not done was sleep together, but get along, and always have all our lives. but since im not wanted, i am actively seeing someone that does want to date, and see where it goes.

No Ron there’s nothing wrong with wanting to take things slow since I’m that way too. Seems to me anyone who gets married right away before to long end up getting divorced.

Dating can mean one thing to one person, and another to someone else. I see profiles where the woman makes it very clear she wishes to date with a view to marriage, I can understand why she says that, it's because there are so many people out there whom will never marry for many different reasons, they could be already married.

Dating to me is between two single people for both to get to know each other with a view to something serious in the long term, it may be marriage, and I agree that takes time and is not to be rushed. I don't need or want to date more than one person at a time so it's monogamous, if that's not a given I don't date. You never know how it will turn out, it maybe over after the first date, but I am not going to be in the also-rans, never knowingly anyway.

In essence agree with taking it slow and not being too rushed.
But then... there is a point where "taking it slow" can mean "it's never going anywhere other than this".
And I think that's what many women are weary of.

Most of us single women at a certain age have come across one too many men that don't want anything serious but make out to be serious, and lead us on for extended periods of time, and eventually leaving the woman with a broken heart & trust.

That's often the cause of not wanting to put your foot into that again and clearly aiming for what they do want and never got: a solid relationship / marriage.

As you can see from men's reactions here they immediately jump to saying there's something off about these women while they're likely only looking for that one serious guy and not another a-hole who's playing games with their heart.
A matter of cause and effect.

So not rushing, agreed, but bear in mind there can be a delicate balance of too fast & too slow.

I for one am not going for the "just dating" for years on end. Sod that. It'd mean I am expected to share my bed, give my love, share my life, for years on end with a guy who's only in it for "just dating". In the meantime he's getting free sex, company, care, love, etc.
Not a very balanced deal. A budding relationship takes investment of both parties.

A guy like that would come very low on my list of priorities in life, if that, and I'd keep dating others at the same time, or... cut him out completely.

Also... men that fall for the one for them almost always say, "I knew the minute I met you that I wanted to spend my life with you!"
So a guy that's only up for 'just dating' is likely not the right one.

If you date more than one woman at a time, do you let them know that?

I don't think you will have to.
Female radar.
It takes one right off the list ;-)

yes

If I meet a woman who has an agenda or a timeline, I'm out the door.

I hear you and totally agree

want to say hi to Motown downtown

i think I can just about handle that ..!!

Hello..
I am a boy.
I need a free mind girl for all kinds of talk