Lots of men and women in the world! How many live close enough to you that it might work? How many of them would be interested in YOU? How many can you actually identify and meet? Slim pickings when you get right down to it.

Slim pickings is better than none at all, don't you think?

yes, If we believed it was hopeless, we wouldn't even bother to try. In the mean time, there are lots of other things in life to enjoy!!

The fact that we are on a dating site even just for the forums or for friendship means that we are still holding on to hope. You are right there are other things in life to enjoy... families, friends, hobbies and much much more. Life is wonderful even if it is not so wonderful at times. Cheers!

I hate to tell you mzrosie, but it's really close to none at all. A whole lot closer than many realize. We aren't talking about the whole world. We are talking about the pickings for each individual where they live. Here in my little corner of the world, the pickings are almost non-existent.

But, with all honesty, I've been seeing a woman that I met about 6 months ago. But the thing is, she isn't from here. She moved here to be close to her sister. I've been knowing her sister forever seems like. But never met the other sister until she moved here. I met her completely by accident. Single dateable women within 25 miles of me are almost non-existent. If this person hadn't popped up one day, I would still be spending most of my days alone.

And you watch, Charles..someone will jump on your last line like "See, There ya go....there ARE datable women close to you.."

Totally ignoring the totall odds of that happening to anyone...and how long you had been looking.

On this site, there is no one within 150 miles of me that:
A. Has been online within the past week.
B. Has a filled out profile.
C. Is in any way interesting to me....and then there's the reality *I* may not be interesting to *them*..

Pretty much the same on all the other sites I have tried...perhaps there are more people within 150 miles who have been online recently..but, all the rest apply..
Most of the time, they won't read the profile before messaging me (rare that I receive a spontaneous message), and then they get snippy when I ask them to..or to to please tell me what they feel we share in common (as a starting point for conversation, since *their* profile doesn't give me anything to go on).
I don't think that is an unreasonable request...*I'd* certianly have no problem doing that...

Or, the ones *I* message never reply back...or if they do, again, won't read my profile, and stuff comes out shortly into the conversation that, *had* they read it...they would have seen it was a dealbreaker, and we'd not have wasted each other's time.


In the past 6 months..on the other site I am on..

1. One guy doesn't eat anything but fast food..
Oh, he's not poor..because when we were going to meet...I suggested a cafteria there...surely *that* was within his budget (I make it clear I pay for my own stuff on the first meet/ date).
He just doesn't eat anything but fast food..
he did suggest a sports bar as an alternate place to meet...because they have burgwers...

2. There was the guy that goes to bed at 7PM...and gets up at 3-4AM every day.Z
(retired, and does not *need* to get up that early)
I asked him how that would work....we'd never be able to go to a show, concert, movie, unles it was during the *day*? (and very, very few are)..
And, as *I* do not have any interest in going to bed at 7 and geting up when it is still dark....I asked him how he thought this could possibly work...was he willing to adjust a bit?
(because *I* can bend some)
Nope, he said..he was happy with his routine.

3. Then there was the guy that said he works 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, and drive an hour & a half each way (adding up to 16 hours)..bearly leavung time to eat, sleep, and shower.
On his one day off (which rotates), he does grocery shopping, laundry, and house chores..
So, i asked him why he was on a dating site...sounds like he deosn't really have time to pursue/ devote to a replationship.
He didn't reply, and blocked me..

Oh well.

Charles, "close to none at all" is still better than NONE AT ALL... meaning there is still hope no matter how minute.

Nice to hear that you found someone. Miracles do happen, don't you think?
If you were not meant to meet, she would not have moved to your area. Positive thinking is a good thing. I wish you many years of love and happiness. Don't blow it!

Sometimes you just have to take a chance....accept a bigger risk.

If there is nobody in your area, then expand your comfort zone. Expand your mind. Expand the size of your available dating pool.

I met one of my first girlfriends at a summer writing workshop. We were only there for 1 month. But after the workshop, we at least tried to make an effort to stay together. Ultimately, it didn't work out. But that hasn't deterred me, or forced me to stay local in my searches.

The result has led to 2 relationships that I do not regret.

Would I prefer someone local? Sure. But sometimes they just aren't easy to find, even when there are plenty of singles around. Maybe they are too young, or too old, or I just don't find them attractive.

The pickings can be slim even when you are in a populous area, given the right preferences.

So I will just adapt and adopt new approaches.

Wait. Didn't Slim Pickens once ride a nuclear bomb?

responsibility, loyalty, children, money, a sense of humor, handsome look, athlete' s shape, glory, all of these are what women want from men.

I know but I'm not saying.

Does it have anything to do with toilet seats

Disagree with this!

I don’t want children or an athletic body or money. I want someone who is attractive to me which is different for everyone. Responsible with a sense of humour is a must but the rest is nonsense.

I politely disagree with that last sentiment. I'm very ready and mature for a relationship. I'd rather work out a problem, then fight it, or give up. Compromise, work together, share, love. My longest lasting relationship ended because my fiance didn't know how to deal with my depression, so her mental response was "Well, he's not doing good, so I'll cheat on him"

I'd say while you are partially right - what people need to understand is - there's this cyclical, systemic pattern of abuse

Person dates person > Significant other damages the relationship/devalues their time spent (ie cheating) > Person is now damaged > Tries to find another relationship but has some damage > Next person doesn't know how to deal with damage > Gives up > Repeat

I'm going to say straight up I am biased in this due to my personal experiences. Here's why

When I was 15, I lost my first born son. He passed away due to SIDS. going into my next relationship, I didn't handle it well, and was dumb. I broke the girls heart. Now she's a cold-blooded *****.

I go into my next relationship with my mind focused on not making the same mistakes. I fall into depression because I lost my job. My fiance at the time took it poorly, and reciprocated the abuse. This broke me further. Now I'm a mangled mess of emotions, and on medication to manage a few personality disorders.

While yes I am getting help, what people - the people I'm looking for - see is
He's on meds
He has problems & Baggage
He's currently in offseason of work (not working due to winter)
Clearly he's not worth any time/effort because he's not really a person.

They then give me the cold shoulder, when all I'm looking to do is get to know someone who would even give me the time of day. This puts me into a very cynical point of view where every girl here is either a bot, or a *****. (Obviously I don't react that way) but my mind tells me one way or another, and I have to resist the urge to jump to conclusions.

Does this mean I'm immature? No. I'm just struggling with past experience, and need a warm, loving, helping hand to show me that it's going to be okay.

The older I get, the less likely this will be.

Almost 30
Baggage
Problems
Meds
No money

That's all MOST (Again I say ) MOST people see.

I've met 1 person on here who I now text regularly, and I enjoy my conversations with her. However, she's so far away nothing will likely come of it, which leaves me jaded, and frustrated.

In short, I want the same.

TL;DR

I want a woman who's emotionally understanding, and not quick to jump to conclusions about who I am without getting to know me first. (Also you have to live nearby lmao)

absolutely

Friendship is best relationship

I can only speak to what my current lady wants, and to some extent it also applies to the women in my past.

She wants to feel loved. She does not want feel lonely.

She wants someone who believes in her.

Someone who listens to her, and doesn't just pretend.

Someone who will make her feel safe.

A man who she can confide in.

Someone who makes her feel like a teenage girl again, smitten and reciprocated for the first time. Playful, happy, and yet shy.

A man who will pursue her dreams WITH her, just as she will pursue his dreams. Someone who will make (at least some of) those dreams into reality.

She wants to feel respected, admired, and cherished for what she is now and will be in the future.

She does not want a man who lives in the past, whether it be hers or his own.

She wants a man who will take care of his health, for both her sake and his own.

She wants to be his ONLY woman.

She wants a man who values family, who is sincere, and who will go the extra distance to prove these things to her.

A man she can respect and admire because he earns them along with her trust.



These are a few of the things, but many revolve around the same central theme.

What does THIS woman want? A nice, caring "Italiano" husband*

Funny about that...where are all those women who don't need a man with money?
I don't have money, yet the response I get is zero.
Must be my handsome face.
I was told by one lady I need to have better looks to get anywhere on these sites.
Hahaha...well one thing in my fabour I guess, I don't have the biceps...