I am going to outline some basic fundamentals of Attraction Theory through the explanation of the pickup arts.

THIS STUFF WORKS FOR BOTH MEN AND WOMEN - anyone can take the concepts from this thread and use them to attract people of the opposite sex.

Part 1: Inner Game - The right attitude

CONFIDENCE is a universally attractive attribute. You must BELIEVE in yourself. When you walk into that social setting, BELIEVE that you are an 11 on the 1-10 scale.

I cannot stress the importance of SELF-RESPECT enough. If you do not truly respect yourself, you will not know how to truly respect others, and others will not be able to respect you. If you want to attract somebody, you must eventually share a mutual respect with them.

You must UNDERSTAND the opposite gender. I don't mean this in a "I don't get it so I'll just give up and accept them for who they are and I'll pretend that's the same thing as understanding" kinda sense. Really understand the opposite sex without being bitter about it.

Have an open and socially receptive attitude. Really making this mindset a part of who you are will cause you to smile more, which is a definite plus.

Be OPTIMISTIC. Radiate a positive energy that makes people around you feel good.

Rid yourself of DESPERATION and NEEDINESS. You must be disconnected from the consequences. Live for the momment.

Be socially FEARLESS. Don't be afraid to really be yourself. To all you "nice guys" out there, do you act differently around beautiful women (perhaps "sweeter" and stuff like that) than you act around your close friends? YOU AREN'T BEING YOURSELF. Let go of your silly nice guy acts and playfully tease her for being a dork.

Know that you are a LEADER, not a follower. Know that you are a PROTECTOR OF LOVED ONES. Know that any person of the opposite sex would be totally crazy about you if YOU gave THEM the chance to get to really know you. Know that you are a little HARD TO GET because you have a lot of options in life.

Be PERSISTENT and PROACTIVE and don't be afraid to take what you want. Just don't be selfish. Be MATURE.

Learn how to be COOL without being a TOOL. Social experience will give you this calibration.

Take RESPONSIBILITY for yourself and your own actions. Be at cause in the world, not the effect. Learn from everything you can and never lose your sense of wonder and youth.

Part 2: Outer Game - The right moves (Mystery Method)

None of the outer game will matter without the inner game. if you're just skipping down to find out the "pickup lines," scroll back up because inner game is key.

(A)ttraction + (C)omfort = (S)eduction

(A1) Start the interaction with an OPENER. An opener is anything that will get you guys talking. The "universal opener" can be very powerful. Here it is: "Hi!"

(A2) Attract the person to you with cat-string theory, push/pull, tension loops, 2 steps forward 1 step back, negs, etc. This is all PUA jargon for "teasing." Show that you are a fun person with a positive vibe who understands what flirting is.

(A3) Get them to invest more emotion into you by "qualifying" them. Show them that you are POTENTIALLY interested but he/she will have to prove him/herself to you a little bit. Show that he/she is SLOWLY "winning you over." Continue push/pull.

(C1) Establish RAPPORT. Begin sharing commonalities while still maintaining a high positive energy in the interaction. In this stage it is perfectly OK to expose a vulnerability or two with him/her for the purposes of building trust.

(C2) Get the phone number. If you followed steps A1 through C1 correctly so far, there is no way you WON'T get his/her phone number if you want it.

(C3) After he/she gives you 3 Indicators of Interest (IOIs), go for the kiss!

From here on out is the Seduction stage. S1 is Arousal, S2 is Last Minute Resistance (girls will get a slight attack of anxiety before having sex and may say something like "I don't know if we should be doing this..." but guys will generally be ready to do the duty in a heartbeat), and S3 is sexual intercourse.

Floor is now open for discussion and questions.

Do people really consider this stuff secret? Not knocking it, but it's just kind of common sense isn't it?

Lucky for you, you're what we call a "natural."
A lot of us were raised with anti-male feminist ideals that forced us to suppress ourselves. All of the things I posted there would be deemed as something done by "jerks" to any "nice guy"

I must say you have alot of good insight. This is an age where you step up or step down. You can reveal the secrets, but it's always been here for me to show a woman she is a queen. Good post!

lame

while thats a beautiful photo in your avatar, I cannot say the same about the way you express yourself. You should at least have given a reason for your criticism.


There is a certain contradiction in all this. It advises us to be ourselves while telling as not to be ourselves. Or rather, change ourselves....

anyway many people will feel better by reading something like this. It helps give you "hope" that you can succeed in the flirting game, where you couldnt before. And if it gives you hop its good!

I dont exactly disagree with the content of the post itself. But it doesnt feel too right when you try to "loggicalise" and turn into rules and facts and math something as abstract and feeling related as attraction.

Still interesting advice though.

Change yourself to become yourself if you aren't being yourself.

By the way, all this has been "field-tested" for efficacy so it's pretty much scientifically valid. It works. I'm not just spitting unproven theories at you. The PUA community has been around since 1987.

I wouldn't really say it's lame. It has a lot of good points - be happy with yourself, be confident, have an open attitude, don't act like a desperate loser, establish rapport before asking for a number, etc...

It kind of crosses the line from being just good advice though when it seems to portray an end goal of seducing someone with a plan.

Yeah i definitely see what u mean, but the whole point of inner game is to internalize this system so that it becomes a natural flow that you can CHOOSE whether or not to follow. then theres no longer any planning involved.

Who let the kids out to play, again?

keep in mind that were all equal here, Jess642. We communicate with words and reason on a forum, not numbers and dogmatism

Yep, I've seen that in action....

playing those games is not "being myself". If I don't honestly feel the urge to flirt, why force it? I'm thinking having a relationship isn't worth all the trouble. Tired of this "dating game". I am good company, seldom bored and occasionally I would like honest appreciative attention from a nice man. I think its just not worth the trouble anymore!! I give up!

my reason for calling the post "lame" is because people just be themselves- which is basically what the post says, except it gives all these rules and codes and blah blah blah.
it seems like the post is making askin someone out so complex and a big ordeal... how hard is it to just walk up to someone you find attractive and ask if they would like to grab coffee or dinner? if it's meant to be then you really don't need a one liner or all those stupid rules and crap.

The element always left out of these "instructions" is if she or he is not interested none of it will work. So the element of interest has to be there first, just remember that. The push pull thing makes me laugh, I have had it tried on me before but if it works for some I guess. Those are good tips though until the push pull thingy, so if you are in need of help the top part is excellent. The other part, maybe it will work. Good Luck to all

How to pick up women, by a member of a dating site.

By being here, I can assume that ole "PUA" is in the same boat that not only myself, but scores of others are in.

Listening to this is akin to getting financial advice from someone who's $100,000 in debt .

It is the hardest thing ever, for some people at least. I'd rather deliver a presentation to the board of directors of my company or jump out of an airplane than talk to an attractive person whom I don't know. Several people have advised me not to listen to what ChiefPUA has to say on the grounds that the art of the pickup is dishonest and self-seeking.

I have no intentions of pursuing it to seduction, though. I'd be happy just having a plan for what I'm going to do after I muster the courage to get up off my barstool and approach somebody. Not having a plan obliterates my confidence.

Could you elaborate on this point, perhaps? Honestly, I DON'T know what flirting is. What exactly am I pushing and pulling? I'm usually very forthright when it comes to talking to people, so subtle back-and-forth is tricky for me.

how to pick up a radio broadcast.

tune to the correct frequency and listen. but some stations
still broadcast blather which is not necessarily preferable to
static - dead air, that is....

I totally know what you are talking about and I understand your perspective. However, I believe that your perspective lacks insight into the struggles of being male in today's society. The stuff I wrote was primarily created to help men because frankly... you have NO idea how hard it is to just walk up to someone they find attractive and ask her if she would like to grab coffee or dinner. I have one student who does not even fear DEATH but he feared talking to beautiful women. This guy ran with the bulls in Spain, tackled countless people double his size in football, and jumped off a 100 ft. cliff into the mediterranean, but he freezed up with an unbelievable amount of anxiety when he even thought about approaching a woman he founnd attractive. Fortunately I helped him through this and he no longer has this approach anxiety, but you have no idea how many men today need this sort of guidance to LEARN how to be themselves. They've locked up their true selves deep within them, fearing that nobody would accept them for who they truly are, and I am offering one of the available keys to unlock that box. Yeah, it's sounds lame to most women - women don't share the same troubles that men do - so it can be difficult to understand, I know. If a woman approaches a man, there's almost zero chance for her to "crash and burn," even if he finds her unattractive.


You are certainly not the first to make this assumption. That's OK; I'm pretty patient lol

If you take a look at my profile, I state that I'm not on this site to look for a date or anything like that. It says I am "looking for a woman for friendship" and that I'm simply here to offer help to those who want it.

So this isn't a case about the blind leading the blind; I am very much satisfied with my love life. I just want to share the things I know with others.