It's like the old saying "Don't judge a book by its cover". "Pick-up Artist" and "Game" make people think negatively because of what those terms are stereotyped to be. If it was called Venusian Artist and Inner Confidence, you might have a different perspective on it. I'm not going to sit here and defend this more because people have already made up their minds. When you first hear the terms, you are either interested by it or think it's foolish. Everybody has the right to their own opinion.

You just nailed it, Geek. I think change can be really scary for some people. Some reach a point where they have a certain level of comfort or safety in their lifestyle and fear leaving it behind.

I personally was scared to death of leaving my good paying job to pursue my passion. Now that I look back, I am so happy I had the guts to go through with it. I make complete **** wages now, but I couldn't be happier. I had to give up financial security to achieve that happiness but it has been well worth it. I look back at how my life use to be and the only thing I regret is that I didn't do this earlier in life.

You are right in that some seek change but fail to put forth the effort or take action. Reading a book on self improvement is a fantastic start but how much does it really help if you never take action?

I see nothing wrong with young men wanting to learn to be more confident when interacting with women but I truly believe that being sincere goes much further than any strategy or tactic ever could.

That's just a ridiulous way of learning. No "guru" in the PUA community makes men feel hopeless without their words (except for one particular guru but he's got a pretty bad rep lol) and it's common knowledge throughout the community that these teachers can only show you the door but not open it for you. Basic life philosophy mumbo jumbo. What the mPUAs do is give you control of your own life, not take control of it.

ChiefPUA, I was referring to "life" gurus in general, not specifically the Pick Up Artists. Tony Robbins is one that comes to mind. Also, I am not saying the "guru" makes the person feel hopeless but the other way around. The person becomes dependent upon the "guru" in order to live out their life.

No! I've read many books and taken advise and never became dependent on the "Guru".

If some does that then they haven't acheived what is supposed to happen. I haven't even read this forum and I'm up to speed just reading a few posts.

PUA is a very cool thing. It's about building confidence and working with ones own range of abilities.... which can expand. That is what the PUA can help one to do. Expand from where they are.

It should be its own forum but it's really about building self confidence within your personal style.


Just my take!

These "women" and "men" post this mind numbing shyt because they have emotional scars and baggage they have not learned to deal with...so that is something within themselves projected into a public forum... how many people love themselves, really love themselves first? Many know how to fool themselves and get by...so many times these cycles go the way of previous relationships and then they wonder why....when you see patterns, then you have to be honest with yourself... could there a problem with me and look for ways to overcome it....

but picking up a book called pick up artist 101 is not going to heal that.....just going to show you some things to score big with the ladies... which again....goes to "gameplays"...doesn't fix what is still happening within...



Most the PUAs that have taken over JSH are 18....fresh out of diapers... starting the walking stage... eventually Life and experience will catch up...

Funny thing is my 9 year old is more mature than 2 posters here, maybe 3....

lol im preeeeetty sure she was reffering to you, not us PUAs

I am being off topic but please refrain from this kind of stereotyping. I am an (orthodox) Christian and I am proud that our religion promotes respect, acceptance, understading and love for everyone no matter their ethnicity, religion, etc. First and foremost we are taught to respect the beliefs of others.

We may show what our religion is about ("love your fellow people and be kind to them") but whether or not they wish to believe in it, is a personal choice of each individual.


What you said reminded me more of Muslims - "Kill the infidels and you'll go to heaven" as their "Bible" , the Koran, mentions.

I don't think you want a true majority vote on what the community of JSH thinks of the PUA's here....YOU included. Many won't waste their valuable time with your childish shyt. A child that has to constantly repeat the same bull because they have deep rooted attention issues...

Well, excuse me, miss 40 year old psychology expert
I'm obviously helping others gain control over their lives because I just want the attention
Oh man... get over yourself miss high-and-mighty. There's a lot more to the world than what's going on in your closed mind
I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.

That is Ms. 40 years Young and I don't claim to be any expert, but I know which degrees I am qualified to answer in.

"The mind is everything. What you think... you become."~Budda

Luckily wehave been enlightened already to know what & how you think....

Don't need luck, got something much better than that......
Hoo-rah! and Salutes....

Buddha. get my god right.

Wow, I'm with you about stereotyping christians then you lost me with your stereotype of Muslims. How about you actualy take time to read the Qu'ran (Koran is indonesian for newspaer) and then talk about Islam, the Qu'ran only justifies holy war against a group who is trying to attack Islam itself. So yeah, please go read the Qu'ran instead of believing everything Pat Robertson tells you;^[

I almost answered him verbatum...then deleted it a few hours back. Some battles are better left alone.

A centuries old mindset stuck in a young mind ~ is treading near that line.

I'm not really sure how to internalize your advice on confidence. I'm moderately happy - 6 or 7 out of 10, I'd say - and I'm proud of who I am. Very rarely, however, have I had an experience that suggested that anybody really wanted to get to know me when I was "being myself." Rather that compromise, I've given in to approach anxiety. Unless I KNOW otherwise, I live by the mantra that "She doesn't want to talk to me."

You go on to mention how nice guys bottle up their fun, wild sides because they're afraid of rejection. I can see, in some ways, how this is the case for me. Of course, I've been accused of being creepy on more than one occasion. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but it hardly seems useful to keep doing it.

Lastly (and I'll grant that this is at least partly from lack of practice) I don't know how to start an interesting conversation. Is there a good way to segue from "Hi, my name's Eph" into "What do you think of Rousseau's 'Social Contract'?"

It appears as though you are asking me the following:

1. How do I overcome and eliminate my limiting belief that women don't want to talk to me?

There are many ways to eliminating limiting beliefs. Aside from hypnosis, you can achieve this confidence through mental exercises that involve positive self-affirmations, positive real life experiences, and cognitive realizations. As far as positive self-affirmations go, all you have to do is speak positively to yourself. Tell yourself more and more good things and less and less bad things. People go around talking down on themselves all the time inside their heads. Get in the habit of praising yourself rather than blaming. As far as positive experiences go, feel the fear and do it anyway. The PUAs have something called a "blowout mission" where the objective is to go out and get rejected as many times as possible so that you can get used to the feeling and thus eliminate fear of it. I have tried this mission before, and believe it or not... It's pretty damn hard to get rejected sometimes!! Women are very social and LOVE talking with people. Why do think they are able to spend hours and hours on the phone while men keep phone conversations short and concise? With a thicker, more advanced corpus collosum, women's brains have increased communication between the left and right hemispheres leading to better multitasking abilities and ultimately better communication and linguistic abilities/habits. You should realize that it isn't the woman who doesn't want to talk... it's YOU. aaaand that's where the cognitive realization comes in.

2. How can I come off as fun rather than creepy?

If you aren't being open and social, people have no idea what's going on in your head. This gives them an opportunity to imagine the worst because most people are prone to negativity (which is why most people aren't happy and aren't enlightened). Silence may be gold, but who knows what else it could be?
Now, that's just a general answer. Someone who is percieved to be "creepy" could be percieved as such for various reasons including awkward speech patterns and nervous ticks, etc. I couldn't tell ya about that stuff if I'm not right there in front of you.

3. How do I get from "hi" to a discussion on an intellectual topic?

Some PUAs say that the best transition is no transition, going directly from one topic to another without warning and without pause. Try this out. One of my students was complaining to me one day, "There just aren't any intelligent girls in our grade! All they wanna do is party and get drunk and you can't talk to any of them about anything significant." I replied with, "Wanna bet? Walk up to a bunch of these girls that you don't know during the DAY and say 'Hi. Do you consider yourself an intellectual?' I bet that plenty of them will say yes and will be open to talking about something intelligent." Sure enough he has more intelligent female friends now.
Just jump right in and learn as you go from your own experiences. That's the best way

I think that I have the most trouble with self-praising techniques and cognitive emotive behavioural therapy because it always just feels like I'm telling myself lies. That's where the expectation-based approach to confidence comes in. If my experience suggests that women don't want to talk to me, it seems stupid to tell myself that they do.

Any change you make in your life will feel awkward at first because it involves stepping out of your comfort zone. It's like breaking in a new pair of shoes.
This is when you have to put the emotion behind it. When you tell yourself positive things, put a strong positive emotion behind it to really mean it.
Also, try this route: when you find yourself to be in a naturally happy or confident emotional state, do something unique physically, like crossing your toes or pressing your teeth with your tongue. Do this same motion every time you feel said emotion. Eventually, you will be able to recall the good emotion by simply performing the unique physical task. It's called conditioning.

OMG CHIEF

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ROUTINE????????

huh? which one?