Hill, what did you do to your name? Did you start a new profile? You almost always crack me up

Someone fill me in on whats been going on....I have a couple of hours to myself. Well, I'm always by myself but have some time to drop in.

It is hell week at school. Finals are eating me alive! At least I have two of them out of the way, but have to depend on two other girls for my final art project and it isn't even started and is due on Weds......Frick!!!!

MY mood is up and down. But stable enough to get by. Finally seems to have settled down a bit. Dr upped my lamictal, and here comes the rash! Everytime she ups it, I get "the rash" but it never stays, and the hurting lymph nodes too. But I know that will pass too. It always does.

I am the grinch! I really think we are in a recession and heading stright for a depression. Things are only going to get worse! I can't see it coming.

I gave up on the holidays and skipped thanks giving this year again. No X-Mas here, and the family has agreed no presents for anyone this year. Just us. I'm not going to go this year though. I don't think I can stand all the family I never se and probably don't know **** about me except all the "black sheep crazy lady **** " they hear from everyone else.

Nope, I'll be sleeping on the floor this new year eve. Bad nieghborhood, so I know I will be hearing the shots going off. I know cuz the ****ers did it on the 4th of july. I grew up in LA and know to hit the deck.

Yeah yeah I know. Bah Humbug

speaking of lamictal.....karen, does it make you really hyper or raise blood pressure.....?

Just reverted back to an earlier screen name on JSH, Karen. It fixed the email problem. I pretty much slept the whole day and feel pretty much sleepy now even, lol.

Roy

OIC (((HILL))), ok that makes sense. I din't really know you had an email problem, but if it works, great.

(((amber))) yes, it even keeps me from sleeping and I already have insomnia, so I take a lower dose at night. You know, I was filling up my meds cases for the week, and counted the number of pills I take everyday.......some are plurals of the same med but after counting all of them, I take 22 pills everyday!

Talk about depressing. The Dr. says I will be on them for the rest of my life. They work as well as they can, and we all know that meds are not a cure, just a helping had through hard times, but are times so bad that I will have to take meds for the rest of my life?

Doesnt make me feel very good. But I trudge onward. Do the best I can and try to put on my fake smile at school and in front of my family. Not that I see them very much anyway.

So yes amber, it seems to make me more awake. But clouds up my mind. No wonder mixing so many meds anyway.....sighhhhhhhh.

AND no one better say talk to your Dr about changing them or taking down the dose, cuz I know better than to do that. I'd be in the 5150 hotel within a few days. This is the cocktail that works for me. I'm just complaining. It is my turn

Ok i dont wanna sound stupid but if u r depressed in any way and u want someone to talk to, hit me up, i am like a guarenteed day maker. if u wanna laugh write me and if im on i will deff get back to ya, im here to help out

Last night went pretty good. The older lesbian marked her territory with me and me know without any uncertainty that the woman I was working with was her woman. I think I did a pretty good at putting her fears at rest. I didn't have any doubt after that they were a couple and tried my best to keep my distance. It could have went worse. I sure wouldn't want to have any relationships at work. That pretty much made my mind up.

last few days have been crappy for me. i feel like a fish out of water and im not sure where to go. usually chruch helps some but it hasn't lately

sorry to hear that jeff, hope you get to feeling better soon

was finally to pull momma out of her depression some........made me feel a little better.........just can't really afford to call her everyday......... ........but it's worth the price

what the? awfully quiet in here........................

I think we are all too depressed to post....

whats up guys
I just wanted to say that I am haveing a good week for the first time in weeks. and I just wanted to see how you all are doing?

Hey Cutts!! Great news!! I am glad you are doing well....keep it up!!

Thanks for asking...doing fair, but things could be worse I guess. Thanks for coming back Cutts...your good news is inspiring! Take care.

Glad you are having a good day, Cutts. Nothing wrong with being happy once in a while unless of course it is taken to extremes. I based that on what a psychiatrist told me one day that I have an immature desire to be happy. I have been trying to have a mature desire to be happy. Maybe it will come someday.

My depression is getting worse lately. I was wondering if anyone else is experiencing this. The weather plays a huge part in the way that I feel, and I have noticed that in the last month, I have been severely depressed.
I don't know how to pull myself out of my depression. I have been taking my medications properly, but it seems that nothing is making this better.
Does anyone have any suggestions??

try getting some sun <like a sun tan> it is suposed to help with seasonal depression..
u can always talk to me to. im good to cheer people up

GREAT CUTTS, i'm glad you're having a good week, MB i hope you get to feeling better............i'm doing great since i got to talk to my baby girl

I did a load of dishes and took out two trashcans full of trash. The over run was really getting to me. Went to meeting. I thought at first that I would stay home because of the rain pouring down but then thought if I wanted to get high or drunk the weather wouldn't stop me from getting stoned. Didn't even get through the door and a guy gave me a hug. Then before I could sit down this woman gave me a hug. I just love the suicidal types because I was once suicidal. The guy was so glad to be out of the psyche ward for forty days and he is still riding the pink cloud. The woman zeros in on me every time I go to the meeting. I still think that is funny when she used to tell her husband to give a hug when she couldn't make the meeting. But of course he would just do the traditional handshake. So far her husband is doing his time but still has a positive attitude. One was telling me about this book he is reading about how to free yourself from your own prison. He was laughing about he thought he had pulled a fast one on drug court by not having to attend but he reads all their literature which is helping him. He told us they are winning. I still think he should quit taking estrogen shots but who am I to judge? I mean if he thinks it is helping him then so be it.

I am sorry you are feeling so bad. It is the weather...there is a phenomena that affects people when winter comes, not as much daylight is present and we tend to be indoors more. There really is no cure or temporary fix to help with the extra depressed feelings. I believe the condition is called Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD. You can read more about it if you google it (google the acronym SAD). I am no expert on the subject and I hope you feel better.

I didn't know we had a thread for this, glad I found it. I'm really depresed. I have been lately. Guess the holidays has a lot to do with it. Like I don't have enough problems already, today, another car broke down. Last month it was my car and today it was my daughters. Don't know what to do. I don't need any advice, I just wanted to talk to someone. So, if anyone wants to talk, let me know. Thanks

Welcome sweet. Yeah, I have been trying to get Mike and Vn to make this a perm topic, but no replies everytime I write. If more people would write them and ask, then I think they might at least say yes or no.........

Welcome back Cutts! Glad to get some good news! Kepp on keeping on. Enjoy while you can and make the most of it.

shenadra, it might be related to the season, or the weather, or anything. SOmetimes I just can't find a reason to be depressed. It is chamical and situational for me and everytime I have it, I have to try to figure out which one it is so I can try to work on it. I'm sorry you are having it so rough. SAD is valid and they have lights on a hat that is supposed to give you 20 min of sunlight....(they use them in alaska because they only have a few months out of the year for real sunlight)supposed to help, but I find that just getting about 20 min of sunlight helps a lot. Something to do woth the chamicals in your head. Hope you can feel better soon.

Hill, you pimp! LOLOLOL You crack me up! Thanks for all the laughs but if you really want to talk about serious things, you and anyone here can write anytime. I check my email everyday.

Amber, how is the lamictal working for you? Still good I hope.

Jeff, I think it is wonderful that you reaching out to ohters to help. Hope you are doing well at the gas station. Don't knock yourself out about the other job. You can find another. It just takes time to find the right job. Kinda like finding the right spouse.......

Karen