Did she tell you why she had the abortion? Maybe she said she was happy about the pregnancy to keep you around. Sounds like she has no respect for you or your feelings, and just wants you around for whatever reason she has.

She asked me the other night in bed if I would leave her and I told her that I love her and that I just wanted her to be with me. I told her she made me happy and then she said well I aint happy and that she got 500 hundred dollars to get an abortion and that just kills me inside. She cant figure out why I am upset or so she says so I am staying away from my own house

Giving yourself time away is a good idea. She has no respect for you...I know you love her, but maybe you should break it off. That will give you time to think about things and maybe find someone else.

I have to go in a few minutes. I hope things work out for you Cutts, whatever you decide. Your life has alot of value. You seem like a nice caring person. There is someone out there for you who will love you and respect you.

Don't sell yourself short. Don't accept anything less than what you are happy with. Keep posting here, or seek some counseling. There are people here who want to help and will listen.

Sometimes they aren't here when you need them, but alot of people come to this site everyday, and will get back to you. Hang in there...

thank you and I know things will get better and I need to think about my life

Cutts, I'm glad you'll be thinking bout this.....as your gf sounds like my ex...........everytime he left, when he came back he'd treat me like gold for a few months then leave again......the last time i'd finally had enough (and being homeless cinched the deal for me to leave). just remember what i said in the email i sent ya. take care

Well, guys, just talked to momma.........she can't have surgery right now.....they're thinking bout doing chemo until her breathing gets better........ken, i figured out what it was, the cancer.........it's non-small cell squamous carcinoma...........she's feeling fine except for her breathing.

I will pray for your mom Amber...she does need to quit smoking....

If u ever need to talk Karen you know where your at?

I am kinda down. the job didn't work out. It was 10 times more stress and work than i thought it would be. The 'person' i was spoused to work with was one of the bosses and only came in when he felt like it. so im back at the gas station and i'm kinda discouraged when i look at apps now.

Maybe it wasn't meant to be, Jeff. I have this male friend who is taking estrogen shots. I am not sure if he is doing it for himself or for his husband. I mean I am trying to understand why he is doing this but so far I just don't get it. I mean I am open-minded. I once took a birth control pill just to see if I could high on it. Didn't get pregnant but still it just didn't do anything for me. I like that line from Casablanca where Bogey says something to the effect of, "You know what we are doing doesn't make a hill of beans to the rest of the world." Maybe you are being tested for something better that will come along. I thought it was cool that you were willing to try to improve your life even though it didn't quite work out the way you expected.

I took a risk in being honest with one of my bosses last week. I told her I having a problem sometimes admitting I am wrong sometimes. I told her it makes me feel vulnerable. I told her that she is a great fault finder. I was impressed as not even my ex wife was as good as she is in finding the faults in others. She is a real natural as it comes to her so easy. I told her that I thought that we must be getting on each other's nerves since we spend so much time together since the other scheduled help usually just call in. I have found that the call ins are with us in spirit even though they have trouble being with us in person. My boss thinks I am improving.

The next day after I told her she was a great fault finder when she came in she told me that we need to talk private. She told me that she got a good rest and felt much better. I am finding it better to vent with her than just calling her a crazy bytch like the last male cna who worked with her.

finshed first week of meds y'all i feel calm and peaceful

I'm here and anyone that wants to or needs to talk can write anytime. I've just been very busy with finals week. But then I get 3 weeks off! Yeah, I sure need it, but I check my mail everyday.
I haven't been posting cuz I've been so busy, but I try to check in...and other reasons

....I'm sorry to hear the job didn't work out for you Jeff. And Amber, I am very happy that the meds are working out for you. Just goes to show that there is hope out there.

Huggers to all of you. Please keep posting

i am just not sure what to do.. i dont know if anyone else will take chance with me and that is scary.. and i am scared to try again cause i don't want to fail again

Hey Jeff...you just have to keep trying. That is the key to having some happiness in life. Being scared is natural...fear of failure is natural. But hiding away from living is unnatural. I learned that the hard way.

Life is worth living! That sounds dumb, but it is true. Being miserable is EASY. To find happiness is tough, but so worth the effort!

Good luck to you.

Good luck with your finals creations...I will say prayers for you!!

its not enough that i'm depressed and cant seem to climb outta it. Then I get a phone call from a friend tonight, tellin me that a dear friend of my son's and I, passed away in her sleep early this morning. she had been sick, with liver problems due to a beating from a former housemate she had, but was fightin back, my son and I were blessed enough to spend Labor day weekend with her this year, and had plans of seein here again this month. I am in total shock, and bawlin my eyes out... there are no meds to take for this one!! She is with God now, and I know that, she is in no more pain or wont ever be sick again. She will be greatly missed by all that knew her, and I don't even know how to tell my 4 yr old son about this!!


oh yeah and to top it all off, my shrink put me on seraquil yesterday, taking away the doxpin....

i'm so sorry mommy, we just had a death in our family too, but this one was expected. praying for you and your little one.

That is such a shame mommy...I am so sorry. Losing a freind is always hard and under these circumstances, even harder. I will say prayers for her and you.

Seraquil should help right away...I hope it does.