I've never thought this was a good idea and the one time I crossed that boundary, it didn't go well. Where I work, I don't see a lot of success with those who start dating. There are some that are married that work together, and things appear to be fine. But I've seen a lot of problems with those who start to date if things go sour.

There are a couple of men who have asked me out and I tell them no, that I don't date guys I work with. Maybe that's crazy at my age and I should reconsider but I can't get past the feeling that that would really complicate my life. So for now, I stick to my boundary and the workplace is not the place to find dates.

I am interested in hearing others opinions on how you feel about dating someone in the workplace and whether or not you would.

i dnt mind..if d guy is well mannered..

No, you are absolutely right! I've seen that a lot where I used to work. And when couples got into a relationship, there was a lot of pointing fingers , he said she said! And it was half the store that picked sides on who they wanted to believe. And they couldn't see themselves looking like a fool ? Or hear about the rumours that went on ?
I laughed at all the b.s that went on!
I will Not ever date someone in the same work place. Friendship, maybe , go for coffee with a co,worker ? Depends

I work on my own, where does that put me?

Fortunate It could be tricky in your case if it were clients wanting to date you though

How do you feel about long distant relationships?

That's a no. I've heard stories of guys getting involved with clients and not getting paid
As for long distance relationship. arms length is enough
It can work I think

I agree, getting involved with a client can be as complicated as getting involved with someone you work with

And I agree with your comments too, arms length would be best, but I think LDR could work for some people

I have and I would again.

It just depends upon how closely we work together and how 'professional' we are able to be with separating work from home.

The stationery cupboard would still be tooooo tempting
But I guess that's where the 'professional ' bit comes in!

I agree msharmony, the ones who I see being successful (mostly the married ones) are able to do this. And there might be others who are dating that I don't know about because they are professional enough to not bring their personal life into the workplace.

Yes.
But I wouldn't date just anybody I worked with.
I have quit jobs in the past before asking someone out.


Do you see a lot of "success" any particular place you see people trying to date?


That's a sticky wicket.

If you tell them you won't date them and hold the place of business responsible, then you aren't really rejecting them, same as if you choose a personal moral stance like "I don't date guys I work with."
Kind of like in high school if a guy asked you out and you said "sorry, my mom/dad said I can't date boys."

A lot of people tend to infer "well, she really wants to date me, so keep trying until she chooses to overcome the external restrictions being forced on her!" which can lead to all sorts of problems.
Otherwise people will infer "she just labeled me and lumped me in with all guys at work, if she'd just see me as special, she'd give me a special dating dispensation, she's telling me she wants me to differentiate myself from all the other guys she works with so I'm not just part of that compartmentalized label 'guys I work with.'"

Either of which leads to a lot of problems in the longer term.
Especially if you see it as "I rejected them, so it's no longer an issue."

And if you do reject them personally ("sorry, I don't want to date you, I don't find you attractive") then it can lead to a strained professional relationship, and they may try some subconsciously driven way to get revenge on you, possibly sabotaging your career.


Stick a boundary out in the desert and eventually more and more people are going to try and climb it just for the sake of trying to climb it.
People hit on men and women with wedding rings, "I don't date guys I work with" is a much easier or at least less risky boundary to try and climb.


Depends on the workplace.
Sometimes people see their coworkers as dateable simply because they don't want to focus on their work.
And that's why so many people date there, and dating always fails, because they aren't dating from "pure" motives, but just to deal with the stress, or boredom, or lack of stimulation from their job.

I have dated someone I worked with, and won't do that again. Too many issues escalated, then the rumors of workplace gossip. Nope.

Now I don't have to worry about that. Since I work mostly by myself, and my clients are much too old or married.

All good points. And I have thought about the statement "I don't date guys I work with". It's probably not the best thing to say, especially if I decide one day to date someone I work with. And in away, it's not really taking ownership of my decision to say no. It could give someone the impression that I would say yes if they didn't work there, when I might not.

Thanks ciretom!

That would be tempting

I had dated someone I worked with but it didn't work out and I ended up quitting my job. It was painful for me.

My sister met her husband at work and they have been married for more than 30 years.

So it could work... it just didn't work for me.

Thanks for sharing rosie. It was painful for me as well when I did it years ago in the Coast Guard, fortunately I got to transfer.

I see it as a sure way to mess your life up in a big way.

If you really care about the other person you don't want to mess theirs up easier.

It's a stink that can stay on a career for Years.

Hello

When I was young, the corporation (largest in the world
at the time) I worked for forbid dating among co-workers.

This.
Stopped.
No one.

Rules that go against nature rarely stick.

You are going to date the people you know or are around.
Is it wise to date a co-worker and risk firing?
Plenty did.