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Community > Posts By > Lost_in_reverie
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Topic:
sex... how much is too much?
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Ok this is a bit out there but im just curious as to what the response will be. I am expecting some men that reply to say theres never too much. The question for those guys is how much you getting at the moment. Is once a week or once a month or couple months enough.? Is it wrong to want "relations" as I like to refer to it more than once a week? I guess everyone's different, not to mention how often a person puts you in the mood. With some guys I've wanted it every given opportunity, others whatever night we meet up, and then some less often. I think a good indication of a generally healthy relationship is when you still want to have sex with them regularly. I'd say at least a couple of times a week would be a "healthy" figure but, as PacificStar says: it doesn't really work if it's "quota sex". It has to be when you're in the mood, not because you haven't had sex for a while. If the interest in waning, that's something you need to address. Sometimes it's just the demands of life getting in the way and people just have to be reminded that relationships need some TLC too. |
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Topic:
Notifications/random stuff
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I agree. And unless it's someone I actually know, it comes off as creepy. Sending kisses to a stranger? Yeah, that's a great idea. 
Exactly! It also makes some people feel like they've done enough. Next week they'll be in the forums moaning about how they've made the first move and noone's responded. Just like those messages that say "hi" and nothing else. Or "Hey, great profile! I want to know more." But that's it. Really? You've got so much from my profile but you missed the part about "conversation"? Pffft. Sorry. Think I woke up with my ranting head on... |
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Topic:
My needs unanswered....
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I am writing this to possibly gain new insight. I am a man who is unfulfilled. I have needs as others also have their own. Why are my needs ignored, and cast off as if they are not as valuable as another? Ignored, I feel. Ridiculed by some, and a joke to others. Why? It is because I seek physical contact. Some would think I seek it for reasons of the flesh, while others think I have alterior motives. I have a heart people. My heart just happens to need physical contact. The ability to share what my body, mind, and spirit have to offer, and to have that be actually wanted by a woman. When a person speaks of physical contact, the general idea comes to mind of plain old sex. You all just dont get it. There is more to it for me. I need to be accepted, as everyone needs to be accepted. Need to be wanted and desired. Not just in the flesh, but to contact another through spirit, mind, and body. So I am left with a dilema. My needs go unanswered. I am viewed as fake or shallow. I can not share the true intricacies here in the open, as some would find it offensive. It is funny. When a woman needs of the flesh, she is called a horrid name, yet men still come to answer her call. When a man has needs the same, he is avoided like the plague, and most ignore him. I am not afraid of who I am. I have nothing to hide. I have much to offer, but no one will take notice. And those that do, are just a tease, dragging things along making me feel abused and unappreciated. Time goes by, life moves on, but im still here. Surrounded by friends and family, my soul is still alone. Your post reads to me that you want an intimate encounter but you want it to resemble more than an intimate encounter. As if you're trying to mask your true intentions. If what you want comes across as "just sex", however much you want to beautify it with talk of 'connecting' etc, then you will find the market for your offer is significantly less. I may be mistaken, but that's how I interpreted it, and I expect many others have done the same. There are people out there for every type of relationship, at whatever stage you're at (emotionally or physically speaking), it just takes time to work out who's the right fit. That doesn't mean there won't be someone out there, nor does it mean there's anything wrong with it, just few women want to waste your time or their time by pursuing something they don't want. Best of luck in what you're searching for. |
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Topic:
needing helpful suggestions
Edited by
Lost_in_reverie
on
Sat 11/23/13 02:54 AM
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Ok, so before I begin I want to warn you its one of those nights. Doesnt happen all too often but.. nevertheless here I go. I have gotten so very tired of the dating world, although here practically in it.. I get little if any messages... and i might know why... it just sucks its possibly the only reason.. if you look at my pictures you can see... I a not skinny fit or thin.. and so many guys I come across are looking or wanting just that. That is why I am having such a hard time staying on here. Just a dang reminder that I am still single.... and no one wants...... a bigger girl. I have been on track with losing the weight and have lost some, but nights like these are no help. I am admitting this freely so all can know.. this year alone I have cried more tears than any years prior. ok. guilt kicking in. I am sorry for being such a sobb, and have been whining. I am done. I am on the verge of just giving it all up dating, relationships etc. anyway. good night. i probably already scared away more than enough people might as well make it count :P lol I think many men are conditioned to interpret women saying "I'm not pretty... I'm overweight..." etc, as fishing for compliments. That, in itself, isn't the problem. It's often that those men are then left feeling like it's a wasted effort trying to boost your ego because you'll find another "flaw" you're unhappy with. Over time, they'll start to see what you see (even when they didn't before) OR they'll get so tired of the repetitive nature of that kind of self-loathing. As mentioned by other posters, it's only you who can change that approach. Losing weight isn't the answer to your problems as it'll never make you feel good if you're not doing it for yourself. Particularly if you do all that hard work and find the reaction is the same. It's definitely a case of a need for a "positive mental attitude". In many ways, this is far harder work than losing weight and it certainly takes some time to get there. The upside? You'll feel a lot more confident about YOU as a person, and you'll be able to show your daughter what kind of attitude to life she'll need to be a strong woman in this tough ol' world. Best of luck! |
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Topic:
new to this site
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Just lookin for a good woman.i never seem to find them in my area Welcome to Mingle! Mill about, chat to people, and you never know what may come of it :D Best of luck! |
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Topic:
Notifications/random stuff
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Nope. I ignore the stupid "favorites" and I give kick in the butt nudges to anyone who nudges me. And then I block them. Good plan! It just seems utterly pointless. It's not even remotely a conversation starter. |
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Topic:
heart 2 heart
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Duh I think there are only men on this site pretending to be women... I'm so glad you told me - I've been in denial all my life, now I feel free! Oh wait... no I don't, I just feel really confused. :S |
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Topic:
Notifications/random stuff
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Is it possible to turn off the facebook-type features like "nudges" and "favourites"? They're doing my nut in...
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Topic:
one night stand
Edited by
Lost_in_reverie
on
Fri 11/22/13 04:15 PM
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DEFINE WHAT YOU'RE CALLING A NICE GUY. Is defining really necessary? They're someone who's sweet, cares about other people's feelings, considerate, good tempered... AND THAT'S VERY GOOD, I'M NOT SAYING NOT THINKING OTHERWISE. BUT I DON'T THINK YOU WOULD BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WHERE THE GUY IS CALLING YOU EVERY 2 SECONDS & TEXTING TO YOU THE OTHER ONE. RELATIONSHIP DOESN'T MEAN PRISON.
Being a nice guy doesn't mean you have to be obsessive or clingy. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I EXPLAINED EARLIER = THE GUY MUST LEAD & HAVE PLANS.
The way you describe things, it's as if you're saying that guys need to jerks because that's apparently what we (as women) want. YOU SEEMS A NICE LOOKING & EQUILIBRATED WOMAN.. WHAT WITH YOUR EXS.. WHY IT DIDN'T WORK..?
A variety of reasons though the main ones seem to be an inability to talk like a grown-up about issues and go off in childish strops (one guy even made a habit of talking to my mum rather than me). The other big issue was jealousy, and not even jealousy of male friends, just that I had friends and I wouldn't dump them last minute because he'd decided he was coming home early. He was welcome to join us, but that wasn't good enough. Things fell apart shortly after that 'discussion' when he said some not very nice things... |
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Topic:
I just wana make friends
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Exactly! With time I know I'll definitely get over it. Occupying myself with lots of work & meeting very cool and amiable people like you has been doing the trick I guess. Thanks for everything dear. It's my pleasure! Nice to encourage the sweet fellas :D |
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Topic:
one night stand
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A woman will NEVER get aroused/interested by a "nice" guy. It's simply not that way in real life.. but Hollywood. If you've heard otherwise, then those people are to blame because they lied to you. I beg to differ. My exes have all been "nice guys" to start (which is what attracted me. When they ceased to be "nice guys", I lost interest. He takes decisions and DON'T ask for approval. He knows what's best and again he DOESN'T ask for approval. He makes the first step to a Woman and all the following ones. He doesn't buy drinks nor flowers nor pay the bill for the restaurant at the first date or at the club/discotheque during the weekend.
If you do otherwise, the woman will discard you because deep inside she doesn't feel respect for you, just pity.. And pity is a BIG turn off for a woman. Is this really the advice you're giving to another guy? You're definitely someone I wouldn't want to be with. As an independent, modern woman, I do like to feel I can take care of myself. But I do love it when a man OFFERS to do something because he wants to. Not because society tells him that's the way it should be, but because it's what he wants to, when he wants to/is able to. I may not always accept it, but I'll certainly appreciate it. With my last ex, it became a game to see who'd pick up the bill before the other noticed. I've never wanted to be someone who took advantage of a nice guy, so it was a mutual plan to essentially take turns treating each other. You must NOT tell her all your life.. Keep some mystery.. Let her understand that she hasn't deserved all the good "treat" right away... She must "work" for it.. She a "stranger" and you may say your mom told you "that you should never tell a stranger all your life" ;)
I can understand not telling strangers things like that, but a functioning, healthy relationship should be one where a person feels secure, not f*cked about. Unfortunately, as you didn't know at the time, you let this woman LEAD you to her place. This meant for her that you didn't PLAN anything. You should have had a plan already, knowing that "your place was a mess", which also translates her your mindset & how you "take care of yourself as a MAN" and what kind of "future" she may have besides you (cleaning lady?) ;).
I wouldn't call a guy like that back! |
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Yes Looking but not finding yet in the Tunbridge wells area kent seeks lovely lady what dose man have to do to get a date ive joined a few dateing sites there all the same but this site is new to try 
Dating is one of those odd things where, if you look too hard, things never seem to work out. Does it scream desperation, I wonder? But certainly being active in the social sense, and just allowing yourself to talk to new people with the pressure off may present you with a surprise at some point. Best of luck! |
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Topic:
one night stand
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That is why it is smart to keep your britches up until you have an better idea weather something is going to use you for a one night stand. No one knows someone well enough in one or a few dates to know what their character is. Yes a hard lesson learned but hardly something anyone over 18 should not be able to comprehend. You take the risk this is the result way more often than anything else. I actually have a male friend who got involved with a woman and, as far as was discussed, it was serious. But then she suddenly stopped meeting up or talking to him. Sometimes women are worse than men as they seem to pretend that they're interested in something long-term when they're not, as if they're scared to admit to it, but then aren't even honest about wanting to back off afterwards. |
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Topic:
I just wana make friends
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Hi Lovely people of London. How are you all. I am new in London want to make friends I didn't even realise anyone in this thread was from London! I'm from Manchester :( |
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Topic:
what's most dangerous
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uche9aa, you aren't getting anywhere by preaching to people. Do you think, if it turns out God really exists, he/she is going "Oh crap, ANOTHER one... that's it! I'm feeding them to my dogs!" |
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Topic:
what's most dangerous
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Lmao, oh no..... It had to be said, Mark. It had to! |
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Topic:
what's most dangerous
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I usually keep my religious and political beliefs to myself. Avoiding those two topics in conversation have allowed me to get along well with just about anyone. Hope that helps with any future misunderstandings.
That's a shame, Mr Lion, for you are the kind of man I have no qualms with discussing such things with. I'm all for people having their own beliefs, and feeling able to express them, but not at the expense of another person's self-esteem. Especially not when they are essentially preaching, rather than sharing. |
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Topic:
I just wana make friends
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Yes, I somewhat feel better. I understand it might take a while to get over it but I'm not doing bad at all. Thanks alot. That's great to hear! Break ups are strange - you're convinced the world's going to end, and then you pull through the rough patch and you wonder why it hit you as hard as it did... all pain fades as the wounds heal, I guess. |
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Topic:
what's most dangerous
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Its absurd and neausating to think nor suggest that i would have interest in something i loathe with perfect hate.Its treason for me if i even allow such dirty,unholy and satanic thought in my heart.Purity of heart is my gain as a born again christian.May i ask you,whatever happened to chastity,morality and godliness? Have those words been deleted from your dictionary?
That's an awful lot of words you target at someone you don't know. When I think of "Born again Christians", I think of the absurdity of the thing. As I recall, Myra Hindley was "Born again" and pretty much granted a VIP pass to heaven. Really? Screw that. I don't want in. I'd rather be on the outside of THAT group. Though, since we're on the subject, what right do you have to judge someone? Isn't that what your God does? Don't you have the mantra "only God can judge"? Shouldn't you be living in tolerance and "love for thy neighbour"? If you want to be a "good Christian", follow your doctrine and leave other people to worry about their own lives and how they live it. |
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Thought provoking comment: I have read all the replies to my topic and there are quite a few "I want this, I want that" but very few that have said they can give back what they demand. I thought it was a two way street, a mutual understanding a synergy between two people rather than you should treat me in the way I want attitude. Maybe I am wrong but men have feelings too. Oops maybe I shouldn't have said that. Now the cats out the bag. Yes men have feelings too its just some, maybe most find it hard to show it. I know personally that I have needs too and mainly all I require is to be loved and cared for and the occasional hug would be nice. In a way I wished I got that from my ex wife, if I did I wouldn't be here now. Your question was "what do women really want in a man", not "what do you believe a relationship should be". Subtle difference, but if you want an answer tailored to the "two-way street" you mentioned, you may want to consider an alternative question. |
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