Ok, so before I begin I want to warn you its one of those nights. Doesnt happen all too often but.. nevertheless here I go.
I have gotten so very tired of the dating world, although here practically in it.. I get little if any messages... and i might know why... it just sucks its possibly the only reason.. if you look at my pictures you can see... I a not skinny fit or thin.. and so many guys I come across are looking or wanting just that. That is why I am having such a hard time staying on here. Just a dang reminder that I am still single.... and no one wants...... a bigger girl. I have been on track with losing the weight and have lost some, but nights like these are no help.
I am admitting this freely so all can know.. this year alone I have cried more tears than any years prior.
ok. guilt kicking in. I am sorry for being such a sobb, and have been whining. I am done.
I am on the verge of just giving it all up dating, relationships etc.
anyway. good night. i probably already scared away more than enough people might as well make it count :P lol

No worries everyone goes through down times. I read your profile and your just fine, sometimes it takes awhile before you find someone. Putting your self down and getting depressed is putting you in a dark place your sending out bad vibes. Your a very lovely woman and soon you will get what your looking for. Join the forums there are some nice guys you can meet in there. Good luck in your search and God bless....

I see you are fairly new to this site, it is good that you are taking part in the forums which is a good place to start.
Had a look at your profile and it is very good, just takes time before meeting someone. Welcome to Mingle2 and good luck in your search.

Sorry to say, but it's total BS that men don't like bigger women. Self-confident bigger women usually get lots of attention, just like self-confident slim women. It's not in the size so much, it's in the self-confidence, feeling good about yourself.

I had a look at your profile text and you might find some answers there. You basically apologize for your looks, then tell you're a single mum, then tell what you do NOT want in a guy, you apologize again for having tattoos and then there's more about what you do NOT want. And somewhere along the lines you tell you rely on your daughter to keep you together.
What do you expect? It doesn't come off as someone who's proud of herself, it doesn't feel happy nor positive.

So I'd say, rewrite your text and don't apologize for anything, but sell what you got, say what you DO want, not what you don't want, tell about your daughter after you told about yourself. And no, you do not rely on your daughter you keep you together! If this is the case, then don't mention it. And work on being able to stand on your own feet. Your daughter should be able to rely on you, not the other way round. Sorry for the unasked-for advice.

Somehow ppl pick up you are insecure. It takes time to work on that (but if you want to, you can, it's a choice you make)
Also want to suggest you join in in conversations on the forums as opposed to trying to get your own funny topic going. Said so before, it just doesn't seem to work out. It feels you're trying too hard. So don't go there (yet). Get to know people in ongoing topics, join in and learn --> These forums can be very educational if you're aware of what you're doing. You can just blend in or choose to be more bold and learn from reactions you get.

Anyway, good luck. Don't despair, you haven't been here all that long either. Work on being more confident, cos that's what it's all about, not your size!


Slap yourself each and every time you apologize for something! Seriously! I think you'd be bruised within 15 minutes! STOP IT!
If you're going to whinge, you better do it well and bluddy enjoy it, lol

Very well said.

Yeah and you were on here with a thread saying ' Goodbye ' last week? Make up your mind instead of wallowing in self-pity? The only person who can change yourself is you? People may say i'm being heartless, but i'm only being realistic? Simple as!

You're not being heartless. I agree with what you've said.

I read your profile and I think it is just fine! You do not apologize for anything and that is a good thing. Be proud of who you are and IF someone can not accept you, they are not worth your time!
You have great pictures on there and you seem to be very out going, why do you think guys won't like you? You have to make the men know that they have to be worthy of you..not the other way around!!
Keep your head held high and have fun. Men love a woman with confidence so go out there and know that any man would be lucky to spend time with you!!
Good Luck

Wonderer.. tut tut tut...!
I just saw your profile too and I must say I don't think you are overweight at all.
If I was with you I'd shag you everyday but Sunday's (need to rest if we been shagging all week lol)
You are very pretty and can offer a lot to that special guy.
Whatever you do PLEASE dont find just any guy as some men can smell self doubt & pity & will take advantage of you.
Look at me, I been here for 2 weeks I think and I still aint found my Athena yet and im boody sexy as hell!
That was meant to be funny but a hint of truth.. he he.
Anyway hang in there and make the right choices for you and your little princess. Remember your potential man with be a potential step dad so choose well.
Love & hugs x

I think many men are conditioned to interpret women saying "I'm not pretty... I'm overweight..." etc, as fishing for compliments. That, in itself, isn't the problem. It's often that those men are then left feeling like it's a wasted effort trying to boost your ego because you'll find another "flaw" you're unhappy with.

Over time, they'll start to see what you see (even when they didn't before) OR they'll get so tired of the repetitive nature of that kind of self-loathing.

As mentioned by other posters, it's only you who can change that approach. Losing weight isn't the answer to your problems as it'll never make you feel good if you're not doing it for yourself. Particularly if you do all that hard work and find the reaction is the same. It's definitely a case of a need for a "positive mental attitude". In many ways, this is far harder work than losing weight and it certainly takes some time to get there.

The upside? You'll feel a lot more confident about YOU as a person, and you'll be able to show your daughter what kind of attitude to life she'll need to be a strong woman in this tough ol' world.

Best of luck!

Well, I beg to differ, I think her profile is OK. Her post is expressing the negativity she was feeling at the time she posted it and I agree contains unnecessary apologies, but I cannot find any apologies in her profile, unless telling it like it is you consider an apology. The profile includes several good photos, and in my opinion her profile is very good indeed, giving a good indication of the type of guy she would like to find, and who she is in plain words. Just my opinion.

Exactly!!

I saw that thread too-saying goodbye,not coming back,starting a blog,etc,etc.. Then just a day or two afterwards,you zoomed back in! That made me think something is terribly amiss deep inside or something like that... Inner Instability affects us much more than anything!

I agree with much which has been stated in the previous posts and I feel they have all made very valid points. What I would add has nothing to do with your profile per se, and that is patience is a virtue. Have patience with yourself and with men on the forums, as in my opinion they are real and can, for the most, part be trusted. After being involved in the forums, stating your comments, they will actually become aware of the type of person you are and some will appreciate that. The one thing I would warn about would be coming across as "too desperate". Desperation has a negative effective of driving others away in my humble opinion. Relax, have fun, and try not to be too overly concerned about getting a man in your life. Your life should consist of so much more; however, when he does come along, he should definitely add a lot to your life! Best wishes Wonderer, and remember relax.

Sorry that you're feeling down . Somtimes we need a little extra motivation. And without any clues, we don't always know how to go about a problem. Maybe you could start by telling yourself something like "I won't let anything ruin my day".over and over. The more you think it to yourself, the more you'll hopefully believe it. And you're good enough for this world. Thinner women aren't better than you. If all a guy can care about is how thin/fat a woman is, then I get why you wouldn't feel right being with him. It's really cool that you have a child. That's definitely a positive is it not? I bet she loves you endlessly. At least you can get by with looking after her. I'm just trying to pick out positive's within your life. I personally like you, because I read your threads. Negative thinking can become your enemy, and then you find yourself fighting against what your brain is firing off. I know it can be hard out here, but why give up? ;)

Add photos of your current weight as your photo is quite glamorous and also deceptive as an accurate photo will give the overall view not just your lovely face and without more photos it is easy to assume you are slim....No more self criticism, join a suppport group so its not necessary to go through such pain alone but also can get help and work through your issues. your honesty is endearing and your commitment to change will lead to desires outcomes that you deserve Best to you again...

I agree with that 100%! Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes,and colors. Attitude is everything. A woman who knows herself and owns herself is going to be sexy and successful. I happen to love the female shape. One of my favorite things to draw. And let me get this across clearly so there is no misunderstanding. I love curvey women. I am a total bum looker. Love the derriere and appreciate the beauty of the juicey booty.

hi.. welcome here i looked at your profile and read it. at the end it says....slight change i am here to look for friends only and to chat... may not be exact words but it is in the last two sentences.. maybe if you take that off you will have better luck.. ps... i know u didnt ask to have your profile rated.. and the rest of it read quite well! and perfect length as well. but if you have that part about being here for friends only may be the case is all im saying. if you actually get a guy that will even read the profile look at it ha ha!

the advice you got from sybaritic guy was right on -we all have core beliefs about ourselves and others-they where formed in childhood when we lacked the ability to really understand-thats what is really driving us-join a support group it will help you understand yourself-the most beautiful part of a person is there natural child yes you have one-when that child is wounded the beauty and joy of life is diminished-its all about self awareness the answers to life's questions are not out there they are in you-good luck and be good to that little girl in you and she will serve you well-

Why don't you live closer by ... sigh ...
Sigh ...