so you can stop pretending it's okay to be alone
to get that warm'n fuzzy, giddy feeling that's missing
to have someone you can kiss and be intimate with
to have a built in travel buddy
to have your best friend with you, always


Gimme 5 things you can do when the electricity goes out for more than 4 hours

he actually played Crockett on Miami Vice

dude.. you forgot to gimme 5!!!!!!!!!!!


Gimme 5 excuses to get outta going to a wedding!

I stumbled onto these yesterday and thought they were funny.. figured I'd share a few

and here we are aGAIN... FLYDAY.. WOOT!

good one.. now you're gettin the hang of it





















on second thought........................

you KNOW it

he's a regulatory researcher for census Canada

he's actually the serial killer.. his "innocent" baby face is what's kept him under the police's radar

and leave the world capital of breweries? besides.. already minglin with a wild bunch.. right here on M2..

but if you wanna share your address with everyone.. we'll be there next weekend..


actually.. I don't do drunks.. anymore.. and probably why I've been single these past years...

be KIND Dave


I was the one that always ended up holding their hair back or forehead when they prayed to the porcelain gods.. wiped the excess from their face'n hands.. and was always the designated driver..
sometimes I wished I drank just so I didn't have to be the caretaker

up side to all that? if you discount the gray hair(it'd be black if it wasn't for this dang vitiligo ).. my SKIN is less crinkly than others my age.. my liver is like a virgin babes.. and my hands are steady enough to do surgery

I may be a thread killer.. but I don't do people with crowbars often *inserts evil laughter*




his baseball cap is actually photoshop'd in

only if I dyed my hair blonde


he works at a crowbar factory.. he steals the ones that didn't pass inspection and sells them to serial killers

it is Dave in the winter.. it's at 19 c (which is 66.2 F).. saved a TON on heat/electricity last year WOOT!!



YIPEE.. it's le WEEKEND!!! had to pack in all my hours into 4 days this week.. have a HUGE weekend.. going to see the new g-baby tomorrow and run a bunch of errands.. Saturday morning I gots ta mow the lawn and finish early so I can get ready for a friends wedding at 1pm (it's 30 mins away).. gonna be tight.. then back to their place and party afterwards.. luckily they live only minutes away so I won't have far to go to escape the bad drunks

then Sunday I got housework & more yard work to do.. but figure I may just work quickly in the AM so I can goof off and rest for the coming work week..

you'll have quite a wait..gotta get published first
that's gonna be one lonnnnnnnnnng movie though.. so you'll need a few dozen of these

sleep with someone else (or say you did)
have a hissy fit and tell'em to get out of your life
do something that they said would "end us" and get THEM to break it off
get busy with other things/people and put them in the 'ignore' box
do a bunch of things that turns'em off


for the record.. I'm only guilty of #3
it was a last resort cuz he couldn't get a clue..
the others are things I'd run very fast from


Gimme 5 things that would stop you in your tracks...

he secretly founded The Marijuana Party of Canada.. and coined the phrase "go GREEN" while high on his own crop!

he's currently working in maintenance at the Capitol building in Ottawa and selling secrets to the Trump