Sounds like your mind is made up, it's up to you to follow through.

says the man with his back towards the cam

I talk to my ex husband- he is a very nice guy- very different now- but we have both grown up and moved on and there isn't anything between us now- we are just friends.

I like talking to him now - he is nicer, more humble. I don't want him back!!! EWWWW!- that ship sailed but I enjoy our occasional chats!

There is more than one way to milk a cat.

1. You could throw in your feminine charm. "You cuddle, mofo, this isntant, or no raspberries with your oatmeal tomorrow!"

2. You could gnaw at him. "Cindy says George cuddles her. He cuddles her in the morning, they cuddle at lunch, they cuddle at bedtime. Britney says Hubert cuddles her, and so do Vincent and Peter as well. She gets cuddled, and she laughs in my face, because she knows I'm not getting any cuddles. I am, as far as she's concerned, a one-armed giant. Frederich cuddles Elizabeth, Mary cuddles Jesus, and Ramajaranghandarathamsandan cuddles Magandrahajarahatamarahara. Why, for crying out loud, can't you coudle?"

3. You could threaten to tell his parents.

4. You could hire a couple of hitmen to break both of his kneecaps if he keeps on refusing to nightcap.

5. If he says that cuddling and smooching is gay, bring in a gay couple for him, let them show it to him what they do, and afterward ask your boyfriend to name 50 things that are different between cuddling and smooching and being gay.

Just figured I would throw my two cents worth in here.

I'm curious as to if he told you, when you two met, if he would be an affectionate person. You know....he said what you wanted to hear just so he could be with you. Not saying that he did, just wondering because you two do seem to be opposites on this. I know dudes like him. They think that if they show affection, then it makes them look weak. In all honesty, I feel that when you do show affection you actually show strength. Strength in yourself and that you are confident in who you are. If you are not affectionate, then in all likely hood you probably never will be. But if you are, and you choose to not show it, then you do yourself a disservice.

Given that you have talked to him, and given that it took you leaving him for him to want to try to be the man you want, I can honestly say that you have put yourself at odds here. Yes, there is that chance he will be the affectionate person you want. But then again, since you had to create this within him, is it really self sustaining? What I mean is....do you think he will be this person down the road? Can he show affection when he is around the guys? Can he be man enough to do it?

And, this is just my own personal belief, but when you truly love someone, you don't mind being embarrassed. You don't mind holding her hand, or giving her a hug, or looking at her with those eyes that say, "You got me. You have all of me". When I was married, and was in love, I did all that. Yeah, the guys would rag on me, but they knew that I was hers. And you know something. My true dude friends totally got that about me.

I just don't feel affection, should be something that is forced. I am probably old fashioned, but to me affection shows alot. The little touches, looks...they all mean something. And, while he may feel that only gay guys are like this, some of the toughest guys I know are total love nuts for their ladies. And they don't do it because the women ask them to. They do it because they love them.

Anyways, this is just Goof's thought. Do with it as you will. And good luck to you.

So the guy is not giving you what you want, but you enjoy a challenge and think you will be able to change him?

And the world wonders why fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce?

I agree. Good question about who's doing the voting, it'd be interesting to find out that men were voting against the men.

The women on dating sites are usually better looking than the men. And I say this in a truly non-lesbian way, just my observation, based on what I consider attractive.

if you arent getting what you need thats never good. It doesnt mean theat you can expect him to jump up and drop everything if you tell him, and not that you expect that either. But part of being in a relationship is being willing to change in small ways and meet the other person half way, or if you can even further. I feel like it would be perfectly fair for you to talk to him and ask him if he can be a little more romantic for, it doesnt have to be PDA or a big deal, just let you be held sometimes, or kiss your forehead in the mornings, or tell you your beautiful. Explain that for you this really helps, and you need it in a relationship to feel secure, a lot of people (men, and women) do. And then ask him if there is anything you can do, to make him happier, or make doing this easier (Sexual favors dont count! :)

There is a great book out there that is awesome it is calle 'The 5 languages of love' maybe he shows love differently than what you expect...but I would venture a guess and say it is more of the reaffirmation that you need that he loves you...because if he is not showing it HOW you want him to maybe you feel sometimes he might not love you as much as you love him?


Anyways the book is great, and it might just change your perception of the situation...it's a good book for both, and for any couple that wants a serious relationship in my opinion