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| Topic: another Joke - part 2 | |
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A Very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes him as a real Rugby player.
They start to talk and eventually go back to his place: They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On his arm, he has a tattoo that says REEBOK. “What’s that for?” the lady questions. “Oh, I have this so that when I’m on TV, people will see my tattoo, and Reebok pays me.” Then the man takes off his trousers, and on his leg, he has a tattoo that says wxu |
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A Very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes him as a real Rugby player. They start to talk and eventually go back to his place: They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On his arm, he has a tattoo that says REEBOK. “What’s that for?” the lady questions. “Oh, I have this so that when I’m on TV, people will see my tattoo, and Reebok pays me.” Then the man takes off his trousers, and on his leg, he has a tattoo that says wxu Eh' |
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God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed. God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said: "Tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?" And God agreed. God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed again. God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God, "You asked for it." So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you.   wisely put together |
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A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated.
As he examined the body of Mr. Sam, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Sam had the longest private part he had ever seen! “I’m sorry Mr. Sam,” said the mortician, “but I can’t send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity. “And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man’s distinguishing member. The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife. “I have something to show you that you won’t believe,” he said, and opened his briefcase. “Oh, my God!” she screamed, “Sam is dead!”🤣 |
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Sign posted on an auto body shop: The next time we meet will be by accident.
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hi everyone
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Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station. |
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A blind man walks into a shop, swinging his Guide Dog, above his head. The shop assistant asks him "What are you doing?" '’Oh just having a look around" he replied!
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What did the envelope say to the stamp?
Stick with me, we are going places. |
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Funny
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Did you know that beer can make you smarter? It made Budweiser. Did you know that gas can make you older? It made Phillip 66. |
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What did the buffalo say to his kid when he dropped him off at school?
Bison. What did the fish say when it ran into a brick wall? Dam! |
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What did the buffalo say to his kid when he dropped him off at school?
Bison. What did the fish say when it ran into a brick wall? Dam! Good one, Julie
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What did the buffalo say to his kid when he dropped him off at school?
Bison. What did the fish say when it ran into a brick wall? Dam! Good one, Julie
Thank you! I got those from a customer and now I remembered this one he told me: How do priests make holy water? They take and boil the Hell out of it. |
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Thank you! I got those from a customer and now I remembered this one he told me: How do priests make holy water?
They take and boil the Hell out of it. thats nice, Julie |
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A blind man walks into a shop, swinging his Guide Dog, above his head. The shop assistant asks him "What are you doing?" '’Oh just having a look around" he replied!  🤣
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Funny  !
Did you know that beer can make you smarter? It made Budweiser. Did you know that gas can make you older? It made Phillip 66. this is good one Julie,it made me laugh..more.more |
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thats nice, Julie haha,funny |
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Why was 6 afraid of 7.
Because 789. A teacher asks her class “Where does God live?” A little boy raises his hand and the teacher replies Yes Johnny?” Johnny replies “He lives in my bathroom”. Teacher “Why do you say that?” Jonny “Because every time my dad knocks on the door he says ‘God are you still in there!’”. |
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🤣
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