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| Topic: Married men in sexless marriage on dating sites looking for | |
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It seems like the old bait and switch. In the beginning everything is great. Trying all these positions and letting it all hang out (pardon the pun). Then after a bit comes all the excuses, work, kids, tired and on and on. If you were to by a car and really loved the car you’ll go and buy the parts needed to keep it running and looking great. When the car finally doesn’t give you what it did in the beginning I guess it’s time to get a new one. Aside from mendical issues (of which there are *many*)...things do tend to slack off a bit after the initital "honeymoon" phase... (I realize some disagree with this, but I am 57, and all the people *I* have chatted with over 40 have said yes, it drops off some...that's just normal...) There's usually something tangible.... Is he treating her with love and kindness, or being a jerk? Does he take time to give her *her* jollies..or just see after his own? Is there an underlying, low level "friction" that they've never discussed/ cleared the air about, and it's just building into resentment? There can be many reasons, but there's usually *something*..amd of the couple cares enough to work on it..it can most times be remedied.. I'm wondering if the guy, for instance...if he had some medical issue that made sex impossible (the Tab A into Slot B kind of sex) due to an injury, serious health issue, whatever....would he undrerstand if his wife left/ cheated on him? P.S...All these guys that whine about "intimacy" and affection...they apparently (from what I have read/ chatted with them about) only think those revolve around sex... If you are not getting laid..say that. Don't claim you need affection and intimacy when she's giving you that (hugs, kisses, showing care and concern, holding hands...doing things together)...just not the Tab A into Slot B kind.. |
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It seems like the old bait and switch. In the beginning everything is great. Trying all these positions and letting it all hang out (pardon the pun). Then after a bit comes all the excuses, work, kids, tired and on and on. If you were to by a car and really loved the car you’ll go and buy the parts needed to keep it running and looking great. When the car finally doesn’t give you what it did in the beginning I guess it’s time to get a new one. Aside from mendical issues (of which there are *many*)...things do tend to slack off a bit after the initital "honeymoon" phase... (I realize some disagree with this, but I am 57, and all the people *I* have chatted with over 40 have said yes, it drops off some...that's just normal...) There's usually something tangible.... Is he treating her with love and kindness, or being a jerk? Does he take time to give her *her* jollies..or just see after his own? Is there an underlying, low level "friction" that they've never discussed/ cleared the air about, and it's just building into resentment? There can be many reasons, but there's usually *something*..amd of the couple cares enough to work on it..it can most times be remedied.. I'm wondering if the guy, for instance...if he had some medical issue that made sex impossible (the Tab A into Slot B kind of sex) due to an injury, serious health issue, whatever....would he undrerstand if his wife left/ cheated on him? P.S...All these guys that whine about "intimacy" and affection...they apparently (from what I have read/ chatted with them about) only think those revolve around sex... If you are not getting laid..say that. Don't claim you need affection and intimacy when she's giving you that (hugs, kisses, showing care and concern, holding hands...doing things together)...just not the Tab A into Slot B kind.. |
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Hi
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10 years sexless marriage. Ive never cheated but am looking at moving on. Early 50s and tired of being a paycheque, or a handy man. I saw a post of a lady. She didnt mind being alone but being lonely is hard. I passed lonely years ago. Just danm tired.
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10 years sexless marriage. Ive never cheated but am looking at moving on. Early 50s and tired of being a paycheque, or a handy man. I saw a post of a lady. She didnt mind being alone but being lonely is hard. I passed lonely years ago. Just danm tired. |
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Especially if the spouse needs it daily.
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Unfortunately some marriages are made of great sex and bad relations others of a great partnerships and harmony but little or no sex since (or at least according to one of the players). Personal sex drive can be very different.
Wery few lucky ones can have both. The sex part can start going seriously south after a while and one or both can totally lose interest in each other sexually but still form a great team for the kids and running the family. That's when you find yourself trapped with no real alternative (especially if you have already been through a divorce). You would have to decide if risking your kids, your house and a good relation is more important than the possibility of having good sex. I personally believe it is not. My ex was amazing in bed but was terrible for all the rest. Life isn't simple I guess. |
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Unfortunately some marriages are made of great sex and bad relations others of a great partnerships and harmony but little or no sex since (or at least according to one of the players). Personal sex drive can be very different. Wery few lucky ones can have both. The sex part can start going seriously south after a while and one or both can totally lose interest in each other sexually but still form a great team for the kids and running the family. That's when you find yourself trapped with no real alternative (especially if you have already been through a divorce). You would have to decide if risking your kids, your house and a good relation is more important than the possibility of having good sex. I personally believe it is not. My ex was amazing in bed but was terrible for all the rest. Life isn't simple I guess. I have talked to quite a few guys on the dating sites who are techncally divotced, or broke up ffom a long-time GF.....but still have sex with her....for the very reason YOU stated.. Everything else in the relationship was sh** (abuse/ drinking, any of many reasons).....but the sex was good.. So, they divorced/ separated, but still get together for that occasionally. Now, i ask you...if you are on a dating site looking to meet someone...shouldn;t you put that behind you? (points for honesty though, anyway)... Because what woman (or man) wants to get involved with someone who can't turn lose of someone who they have stated was not good for them...expect in that regard..? No, this is NOT about they're just doing that until the get another sex partner..which is still not good...but, two had stated to me that they doubted they could ever "turn lose" of that person because she did things/ satisfied them in ways no one else had.. But, they couldn't deal with the rest.. And I, myself, am NOT interested in a competition to see if I am better in bed than she was/ could make him forget her...nope... I doubt any man would want that either..to know he'd have to compete with some other guy. |
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huh
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Edited by
a42n8sun
on
Fri 03/15/19 10:53 AM
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One person on the thread said cost of divorce is prohibitive. I can appreciate that viewpoint. In Massachusetts the courts are disproportionately set against men, and favor women by a far degree, awarding them crazy amounts of money. For the men out there unmarried, please demand a pre-nup. Any woman not willing to sign one is looking for a free ride, at your expense. I put up with my marriage for 20 years, hoping that things would change with the ex, hoping she'd treat me well. Despite how patient, kind, loving I was, she treated me like crap.
Two years out, and I am much happier. There are quite a few women out there who do treat others with kindness and respect, and will draw up from within us men, those things they also want, showering them equally with kindness, love, respect, gratitude, etc. Men, if you're married and looking here, get a clue, get out of your marriage. b/c if you're here, odds are you're with a shat person. And you DO deserve FAR better. Perhaps one of those here. |
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Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Fri 03/15/19 11:13 AM
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One person on the thread said cost of divorce is prohibitive. I can appreciate that viewpoint. In Massachusetts the courts are disproportionately set against men, and favor women by a far degree, awarding them crazy amounts of money. For the men out there unmarried, please demand a pre-nup. Any woman not willing to sign one is looking for a free ride, at your expense. I put up with my marriage for 20 years, hoping that things would change with the ex, hoping she'd treat me well. Despite how patient, kind, loving I was, she treated me like crap. Two years out, and I am much happier. There are quite a few women out there who do treat others with kindness and respect, and will draw up from within us men, those things they also want, showering them equally with kindness, love, respect, gratitude, etc. Men, if you're married and looking here, get a clue, get out of your marriage. b/c if you're here, odds are you're with a shat person. And you DO deserve FAR better. Perhaps one of those here. You know, as a woman who was divorced YEARS ago..I really don't get this and get so tired of hearing this... We did a no-fault...we split the equity/ what the house was worth (or whatever that's called..he basically had to rebuy it back..still lives there, actually) I took what I had brought originally (bedroom furniture, kitchen table, microwave, refrigerator), he kept what *he had brought (living room, TV)... Each kept our cars. We'd been together almost 10 years.... I took my part of the equity and put it down on another place to live (that was one of our issues, albeit one of the minor ones...he didn't want to move, and, *not* because I wanted a more expensive place..I'd found several for the same price, but, I digress). I certainly didn't "take hm to the cleaners"/ drain him dry...so, maybe the guys that experienced that picked a sh***y woman to start with? I dunno.... 
FWIW..he was a serial cheater, and wanted to marry the last one. Could I have been ugly and tried to get more? Probably. But, why? I was honestly just tired of dealing with him... Got what I came with...some profit (the house equity..we had bought it together)..so...I washappy. |
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and married men AND women should be keeping their spouse sexually satisfied. Amen to that! |
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One person on the thread said cost of divorce is prohibitive. I can appreciate that viewpoint. In Massachusetts the courts are disproportionately set against men, and favor women by a far degree, awarding them crazy amounts of money. For the men out there unmarried, please demand a pre-nup. Any woman not willing to sign one is looking for a free ride, at your expense. I put up with my marriage for 20 years, hoping that things would change with the ex, hoping she'd treat me well. Despite how patient, kind, loving I was, she treated me like crap. Two years out, and I am much happier. There are quite a few women out there who do treat others with kindness and respect, and will draw up from within us men, those things they also want, showering them equally with kindness, love, respect, gratitude, etc. Men, if you're married and looking here, get a clue, get out of your marriage. b/c if you're here, odds are you're with a shat person. And you DO deserve FAR better. Perhaps one of those here. You know, as a woman who was divorced YEARS ago..I really don't get this and get so tired of hearing this... We did a no-fault...we split the equity/ what the house was worth (or whatever that's called..he basically had to rebuy it back..still lives there, actually) I took what I had brought originally (bedroom furniture, kitchen table, microwave, refrigerator), he kept what *he had brought (living room, TV)... Each kept our cars. We'd been together almost 10 years.... I took my part of the equity and put it down on another place to live (that was one of our issues, albeit one of the minor ones...he didn't want to move, and, *not* because I wanted a more expensive place..I'd found several for the same price, but, I digress). I certainly didn't "take hm to the cleaners"/ drain him dry...so, maybe the guys that experienced that picked a sh***y woman to start with? I dunno....
FWIW..he was a serial cheater, and wanted to marry the last one. Could I have been ugly and tried to get more? Probably. But, why? I was honestly just tired of dealing with him... Got what I came with...some profit (the house equity..we had bought it together)..so...I washappy. 1. Did you get part of his retirement? 2. If you had contributed very little or nothing, would you have accepted that amount when you got divorced? I would have had no problem with each getting what they contributed; didn't work that way for many of us. They got what they had and a good part of ours!!! A standard prenup doesn't always solve the issue either - you would get back what you had but the appreciated value of what you had and what you earned during the marriage gets divided. Just letting someone live with you for an extended period of time gives them some legal rights to part of your property. |
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Edited by
I_love_bluegrass
on
Fri 03/15/19 01:45 PM
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2 simple questions:
1. Did you get part of his retirement? 2. If you had contributed very little or nothing, would you have accepted that amount when you got divorced? I would have had no problem with each getting what they contributed; didn't work that way for many of us. They got what they had and a good part of ours!!! A standard prenup doesn't always solve the issue either - you would get back what you had but the appreciated value of what you had and what you earned during the marriage gets divided. Just letting someone live with you for an extended period of time gives them some legal rights to part of your property. Nope, because back then neither of us had a job where they offered such a thing. I wouldn't BE in a relationship where I contibuted little or nothing..see my commnts on the thread ("Too independant?") (unless I was physically unable to due to something unfortunate happening...) I always did my share/ pulled my weight. The whole concept of not doing that (for either gender) is foreign to me, sorry. Wanna know why he had issues, and why he cheated? A. He got pushy about having kids...even when I had told him numerous times when we were dating that I did not want kids..and he 'd said he was fine with that. I asked him about it later on in the marriage..he said he'd thought I;d change my mind. Why would I? I knew having kids wasn't something I wanted to do when I *was* a kid.. And, I had said I didn't want to. Not I wasn't sure...or didn't think so...both of which indicate a wiffly-wafflyness... Totally on him he didn't take what i said seriously. B. Came out further into the relationship he wanted someone he could tell what to do...he could control.. Sorry, that's not me...I work, I contribute equally..I am not a child. For those reasons he searched for someone else... He found her, she barely graduated high school, can't drive (can't grasp the concept), has never worked, and is always going to be dependant on him, which was what he needed.. (I heard this from his sister, who I had stayed friend with for several years,.she liked me..She said their relationship was more like parent/ child that husband/ wife..and she knew that wasn't me...she couldn't be with someone like that either..LOL) |
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"Married men in sexless marriage on dating sites looking for"
I probably get divorce before I start another relationship the way no one gets hurt. JMO |
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Tons of excuses to try to justify cheating.
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Not sure beside all this freedom on earth people still choose to live behind bar of meaningless marriage and sexless relationships. Is it some new Disorder we are not aware off...or this is reactions of overdoing something or nervous brake down hiding place behind so called marriage or relationship. I really appreciate this. |
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Hello how are you doing? My name is Evelyn 35 years of age single and never been married , new on here seeking to find the right and loving man to spend the rest of my life with , So i happen to find your profile interesting and would like for us to get to know more about each other and see where it could lead us to if you don't mind !
just hit me up and lets have fun because love is not about age |
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If a woman doesn't want a man sexually every chance she gets, why would you marry him? Find a man who knows how to satisfy you or wants to openly discuss and satisfy you in the sexual arena. It's an important part of relationships or marriage. This is for adults that should have figured that out after first breakup or divorce. Of course I understand there are other relationship considerations why men or women are in sexless marriages.
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