I saw this posted on another forum last night. I think I've seen it posted here on Mingle. But I don't remember.

Anyway, What does it matter, at least within reason where a potential mate lives? As long as the person isn't in a homeless shelter or worse, living on the street. Why do people make such a big deal over it? I see this mostly in women. A lot of men don't seem to care. For men, it doesn't seem to be as big of a deal.

I participate in other forums. And I'm a profile reader. And in most of the profiles I read, I see close to the same things written in them. "Good man wanted." "Looking for a good man." and on and on. But when I read on down, I hit a roadblock. It doesn't apply to me. But it's a turnoff.

It usually says something like this, "I'm a very independent woman. I pay my own bills. Before you contact me, You must NOT live with a roommate or your parents.

I understand the "I pay my own bills" part of it. But what does it matter whether a person lives with a roommate or with there 80 something-year-old mom or dad? To me, it throws up a red flag when a person makes a big deal about where another person lives. To me, It comes off like you may be blowing smoke about how independent you are.

To me, it comes off like you may really be looking for someone that has a house that you can move into. In other words, You may be looking for a man/ or a woman for what they have. Not for who and what they are. Love ain't got nothing to do with it. It's really about material things. As I said, You're not really looking for a good man or woman. You're really looking for a good sucker.

unfortunately it another blanket statement.

i understand the 1st side
need a room mate or live in mom's basement

demonstrates can't pay your own way.


but ignores i get along better sharing the bills or

i help take care of mom who can't do it alone anymore.

Because women don't want a Mamma's boys.. watch the movies.. have you ever watched a movie where the man living home with his Mother was o.k. in the head?.. no, right.. well women watch movies too.

I know what you're talking about. I have seen this before. They come off like they have an infeior complex or something to prove. Most likely had an overbearing father or ex.

Distance. Does. Matter to most people cause. Of work, responsibilities at home or in the end moving expenses.
If you really love a person all that matters is communications
. You will ultimately works itself out and be together in the end. This is my belief
Today people are shallow and judgement. If your not rich, have a nice house or car, your not worthy to talk to. It's disgusting. Love has no barriers and is unconditional.

It's important to "practice what you preach" when you decide on criticisms as well, I think.

And just as the people most often criticized in forums like this, are the ones who make sweeping generalizations (I wish generalizations really did sweep, I could do my housework verbally), often as not, the people complaining about the sweeping generalizations, are making sweeping generalizations about the people they are criticizing.

With this particular type of rant, I'm thinking of the fact that SOME people who don't want to have anything to do with people who live right now with other people, really are just prejudiced, and assume nasty things about such folks.

But a heck of a lot of people who go out of their way to add things like that to their profiles, do it because they had some direct, very bad experiences with such folks.

In short, some people have very good reasons to not want to deal with you. And if you ASSUME that you know what's wrong in those people's heads without talking to them and finding out, then you are really doing exactly what you are hitting them for doing: assuming.

I don't know about the rest of the man but it does matter to me.. I don't wanna be driving for hours to meet someone

Right on Eric.

Ditto, I agree

When I read the topic, "why does it matter where you live", I was thinking about what country a person lives in. I have always wanted to live in the USA, where I was born and raised. I like it here.Why would I move to another country? If you are happy with where you live, it matters.

Hhheeeyyyyy!

What's wrong with living in my parents basement?????

Course it's a little damp.

And dark.

And TV reception ain't too good.

But I save a ton of money on rent.

So I can spend most of my check from the "Burger Barn" on the latest video games.

It matters to me. I need to move someplace where I can raise a crop of dental floss.

And buy a pygmy pony?

I'll read this a different way. Most guys interested in me are in their 60's and even older. They have a broken rental place with great grandkids. I'm not starting off with a new relationship under those circumstances.

Exactly this^^^^^
It's not about materialism at all, it says a lot about the character of the man.
An empowered man wants his own place, privacy, freedom. The so called status of all that is important to a man, more so than to a woman. A man derives his self-worth from that.
I think it is pretty safe to say that a guy who lives with a roommate or in mommy's basement is not particularly mature and/or empowered as a masculine. In other words, not the kind of man women are looking for.
We want a partner, an equal, not an adult child.
And we also want to be able to be cuddly and intimate with our man without having to wait for mommy to go to sleep or the roommate to leave and give you an hour's time of privacy.
And if he's taking care of mommy dearest, very noble, but I want a relationship with a man who's free to actually have one.
.
.
.

Yes. In another forum I hang out someone made a post "Where in the world is your dream to live"..or some crap like that.

I said....I already live in the best country in the world. The USA.

Come to find out that person lives in Colorado and she and me have been buds for about 8 years I think. But she is married.

I tell you what Idaho Girl....Come to NY for a bit and I will show you a bit of fun,,,,maybe I need some Idaho small town living. I dunno, but I sure wish we had nice pretty gals like you living in the city.

Hum? I remember. But at the same time, I wasn't your typical teen. If I couldn't take her to my house, and we couldn't go to her's, Well, it really depended on how much I thought of her. If it was a passing piece, the back seat or the woods would work. If I wanted to keep her around for a while, I would spring for a motel room.

But that's not really what I'm talking about. It's not a case of whether the man or woman can support themselves or not. It's a case of where they choose to live. Just because a man or woman chooses to live with a parent or with a roommate, doesn't mean they are undatable. I've dated many women who have decent jobs. But they choose to live with there mother. Or, a roommate.

To me, it's common sense. (1) Why should a man or woman choose to live alone and be lonesome? When they have a mother or dad or roommate that can at least be company to them. (2) Why make things harder on yourself? This life is a whole lot easier to deal with when they are two that are dealing with everyday expenses. (3) Why should any man or woman want to live out alone in hopes that one day they will meet some man or woman? Waiting for something that may, or may not happen.

Me personally, I've been alone the greatest part of my life. I can come and go as I please. And pretty much do as I want. But, it has had its drawbacks. I'm not going to go into all of it because it's just too much. But, I'll say this much. I've had to face a lot of things alone. Some, no one should have to face alone. When I think about it, it would have been nice if I could have had someone there with me.

Be it a parent, sibling or just a roommate. So, for me, it's hard for me to look down on someone who has someone that they live with to share their up's and down's with. If you are a man alone, women are like the wind. They come and go. Same for a woman alone, men are like the wind, they come and go.

But, if you have a parent or a good roommate, I guess what I'm trying to say is, one in the hand is better than two in the bush?

I would think that person doesn't want to take care of your parents if that is what you are doing right now. Sorry but I would not want to date or marry into a situation where I instantly had to help with elderly parents in the house. Noble as it is, not for me right now.

I personally don't mind if a man lives with his parents, but its a dealbreaker for me that the guy be financially capable of partnering with me in getting our own place together, if we ever decided to get married.

Whether by renting or purchase, I do think that building a home together is one of the symbols of partnership and longterm investment. (And yes I am aware there are other meaningful symbols , but this one means alot to me.

In addition to that, I suspect that many people get along better with their in-laws (and with each other) when they arent living with their parents,but thats a topic that requires its own thread