I was in a monogamous relationship for about 20 years when my wife and I decided to try something new. Did a bit of swinging but she was not really into it ( though occasionally we will still swing) and then we decided to try an Open Relationship. We both enjoy the new lifestyle choice though even she recognizes that is much more difficult for me.

I think in would be much easier if I was into BDSM but I am not going to try and be someone I am not. I have made a commitment to be truthful with the women I contact with which comes at a price. I would say 90% of the women bail at the first sign of my relationship situation. Many of the remainder I have just not been all that in too. I prefer alternative lifestyle sites but either membership is too low or they are practically porn sites.

I am just looking for great ladies to go out with that have some shared interests with me. I like women of many different sizes and nationalities but am pickier when it come to the mind. I would say I get 1 date every 2-3 months but I can burn through almost a whole site to find them in my area.

I would like to hear stories from others on a bit of their experience and what they have found.

I don't have anything to say about that, but good luck.

I went through a period of being 'open' to the idea with my second husband

but I realized that, for me, the fact that either of us may want to be with other people just meant that we perhaps wanted the PRETENSE of a great romance or commitment, when all that was really left was possibly an average friendship,,,


I considered it strongly, I am glad I decided to let go of the marriage instead.

majority of these situations one is usually pushing for it more than another
finances and often times things like kids, mortgage are involved
so neither wants to lose their current lifestyle level


interesting concept one that I believe goes against our need to bond
though some argue that we have a purely biological need to go out and mass produce with as many partners as possible

Yes I do agree

Ms harmony, I'm shocked
What page of the big book is that one on? It must have fallen out of my copy!

I live in the world, but I try not to live OF IT

the thoughts I have can still be influenced by the world, the actions I Take however, are influenced more by my moral compass/faith



if I wanted to take things out of context, I could find this verse and serpent it (Twist it to do what feels good),,,

1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

could be interpreted that my body is for my husbands pleasures, whatever they may be


however, understanding that above the husband is God , I understand giving in to such temptation would be giving in to sexual immorality

so the thought remained a thought and was never acted upon

Im rather baffled by open marriages.

I think I understand the concept of open relationships. Both parties mutually use each other as security blankets , so when the hot encounters with other people fizzle out, the couple have each other to cling to for baseline security so neither ever has to feel alone. ....Or at least thats my take on it and I know its open to debate.

An arrangement like that makes sense to me because no one is faking the concept of commitment to legitimize what is at its base an unstable arrangement.

But whats the deal with open MARRIAGE?

Even in polygamous societies, marriage underscores the principle of lifetime commitment , even if the commitment is to several people simultaneously.

Why would two people who want a breezy arrangement, feel the need to bind themselves to a marriage union, with all its mundane trappings,commitment and limitations ,that "open" people break out in hives over?

Is it more about the need to legitimise and standardise an imformal arrangement to feel more valdated by society?

Or maybe its like tmom suggested. Could it be that people want to get out of their marriage commitment, but are so shackled by childcare and finacial obligations that they cant make the mad dash to freedom as they secretly desire?

I'm joking ms. It is a bad thing weather you are religious or not.
Have a good evening and I hope I've not offended you in some of the threads

np

I don't know any chick on here who would buy into it.
You need a site that caters to it.

I don't really get an open relationship, I have nothing against it, I just don't get it... why don't you simply break up when you find out that living together isn't necessary anymore?

Exactly !!

Open relationships in the sense you, OP, are talking about, no way.
Apart from all that I do not believe in monogamy as a system.
However, I do not believe it is healthy to actively search for other sexual contacts. To each their own of course.
I do believe it would be better if people could get involved when they happened to meet someone and there was something there. And in that case I'm not talking about sheer lust, but another type connection/click. If you then share a night of love-making it shouldn't interfere with you relationship at all. But that is entirely different from actively searching for sex partners.

Then again, some ppl still need to work out stuff concerning sex, due to what happened in past lives and if that is the case it can actually help them heal.

No matter what I believe, my ego wouldn't be able to handle my partner being intimate with another woman. I'm not even sure if I would be happy if he was willing to share me with other men. I think I'd find that hurtful too. In a way that's all ego stuff, but I can't help it.
Maybe in my next life, not this one. I like to keep it one-on-one, him on me, maybe the other way around occasionally but that's it

Just not built that way after commitment....and it takes a lot to commit. My word is Gold!

This is not just in romance. If I adjust my schedule to help you with yard work tomorrow and said I'd be there, I WILL be there!

I realize this subject is built on an understanding and agreement just the same. Still not built that way.

One thing at a time and CERTAINLY one heart at a time.

Sorry...sounds too convenient to cheat to me. IMO put up or shut up.

I don't have stories to tell on this subject, this type of relationship wouldn't work for me. It goes against what I believe in which is one man for one woman. To me a relationship is about being committed to each other, not several others.

When I'm with someone, I want to be the only one who's hand he holds, the only one who cooks his dinner, the only one who does his laundry....and I definitely don't want my man washing another woman's laundry, and the only one he shares both physical and emotional intimacy with...and vise versa.

To each his/her own if they choose to have an open relationship, for whatever reason. It's just not for me!

Wow... Now I feel inclined to ask you if you would adjust your schedule for me? I got lots of yard work

how is this any different then those swinger parties of the 70's or ya know the communes of the 60's that died out?
isn't it still everybody sleeping with everybody else
probably with help of mind altering substances??