Hmm.. what makes a man! happy..
to have a woman, who is deserving of a castle...... that has always been it !!..and that will always be it....
.. it's all about the castle...

Try to understand that guy what exactly he needs from you.

Try to be more romantic with him and participate in sex when ever is possible.

m3k4y, I admit the Happy Meal does sound promising.

no1phD, Hmmm.

FunnyJ, That is probably the first thing I lose in a man is confidence. I think they want respect even when they have lied, cheated, lied about it, and just act like a fool. This is a common thing with men I find. But it's important for me too because I would love to feel confident in a man and safe and protected.

Theres your problem, calling grown up boys men! You just need a man that realizes respect and confidence is earned not demanded. And is worthy of earning them.

your prayers have been answered..lol
. he will keep you safe!! and share in the housework..

You keep repeating "what makes men happy?", while the answer has been giving several times.

You seem to think that someone that behaves like a slave & servant is what makes a man happy. Best learn to stop being a pleaser & giver, that won't make 'em happy.
Sane healthy men would want a partner, not a housemaid and slave.
May be appealing at first, but will wear off quickly and becoming extremely irritating. Next they'll lose respect for you, and understandably so, if you don't even respect yourself... And with loss of respect, love will go out the window too.
If you don't work on yourself, this pattern is likely to repeat, over and over and over. You basically got to do the exact opposite of what you've done so far. Learn to say "no", have healthy boundaries. If you can change, you'll find a different type of guy that will be happy with his happy and strong woman beside him.

So in short: what makes him happy: a woman that can both give and take.

And yes, BJs will make him happy, but before you give, do some taking, get him on his knees to please you first.

no1phD, I agree and clean toilets are safe too.

CrystalFairy, I've been thinking about it and it seems that it is not my problem, it is society that says women are expected to cater to men but men are not expected to cater to women. So, it's not really my fault if I can't keep a man happy. I think that it would make men happy to make us women happy but society does not want this. And I think a lot of people have been saying it over and over too. I guess it just takes more than some individuals to change a whole society. Maybe women have been trying to change society by trying to change one man at a time..but society tells those women to get out and find a better man and the whole cycle starts again. So where does it end? It's not easy to start over and over again especially with children. Finally a woman will settle for a guy worse than the one before unless she is lucky.

So what no1phD said about mothers being too nurturing but it got deleted was probably the best explanation for why a woman can't keep a man happy today. Well most women can't keep most men happy today. That theory makes sense and I'm sticking to it. I don't think I have low self esteem or something else inherently wrong with me, it's a societal issue that many people are suffering from.

Another thing is if fathers won't help with children then of course boys will grow up to expect the woman to do it all. It may not be the fault of the mothers after all. And children will only learn from the parent's example.

Well, you can make the choice. Eternally pleasing, settling for less, doing what society expects you to do, or learn to please yourself as well, do what you feel is right, and definitely not settle for less, ever! Have some self-respect. With or without children, has nothing much to do with it. It's about you, your core.
Changing society starts on individual level. Don't know about your society, but over here women aren't expected to live to please their man. Think that went extinct over 40 years ago.
You don't have to change a man either, you cannot change another person. A mistake many women make, thinking they can and should change their man. Another thing that won't make a man happy, and quite rightfully so!

As for boys growing up without father: my son does not feel a woman will and should do everything. Au contraire! He has a lot of respect for women and his girlfriend. So that argument falls flat on its face.

I don't mean any offense, but do feel you are victimizing yourself. The answer and solution lies within you. Pointing fingers and looking for excuses won't help. Easy, yes, but won't help you solve the problem.

CrystalFairy, I don't want to be a victim but I don't aspire to becomming a single mother either. I don't wish any children to grow up without a father. Who would want any of that is beyond me.

Absolutely, but happens nonetheless. In such cases the mother can still raise the children with the right morals and standards though.
The same goes the other way round of course.

So if things just don't work out because I don't want to please my man then the back up plan is to be a single mother and raise my kids to have higher standards and morals all by myself. That's exactly how you should teach your kids if you want them to expect women to do it all. Kids learn by what they see their parents do right?

Keeping a man happy shouldn't generally be so hard but they are becomming used to women doing it all with each generation, that it's now impossible to do.
So, men have been programmed to be more than just spoiled, it's like they feel unimportant as well. And women have been programmed to always pick up all by themselves. It's women like this who have low self esteem and always try to please everyone.


This is more complicated than I thought...

The only guarantee in life is that there is no guarantee.

Concern yourself with things you value. Family is a different kind of concern, but you are what matters moreover. Being too wrapped up in what the other person likes/what keeps them happy devalues you. Why would you sacrifice your authenticity and your standards just because you want a relationship that badly? It's not worth it. Both parties have to be pulling their own weight to form a union. It's exceedingly rare when it does. Happiness is a self-discovery. Always has and will be.

I think it's also a disservice to raise your kids without their father.
You can teach kids things but as mentioned earlier they do learn by example. Not so easy to be a single mother.
But that is for another topic.
Anyway, the original topic was how to make a man happy enough to stay not to go!
I thank everyone for sharing your thoughts..

keep a man happy your doing most of the right things ... but i know this may sound selfish but men love their ego stroked a lot and to feel appreciated like a women wants to feel ... and try and be involved with what they like to do in their activities ... but if they can not do the same for you... then they are selfish and u do not want to be in that relationship becouse it is all one sided ... all about him ... then u become unhappy ... trying to make him happy all the time ... but this need to be done becouse you want to make each other happy and should come natural and not becouse of a have to do ...but becouse u really love each other...
he should be proud or you and you of him and try not to be taken for granted all the time ... that is when every thing can go wrong ... least I feel ... joint venture for happiness in your futures...

I'm not sure if you really want an answer or just to defend the unhappy cycle you find yourself in.
Happiness is a personal responsibility no one elses. You cannot make anyone else happy only yourself. When a person male or female achieves this or strives to, then a partnership is fulfilling and respectful and lasting. You can grow and have experiences together that enhances the relationship with out constant worrying if the other person is pleased with your company.
Sure everyone likes their ego stroked, to be adored, pampered and that is great as long as that is the benefit not the focus.
Plus staying together for the sake of the children isn't always the best plan. That doesn't necessarily mean they will not grow up with out their father. That is his responsibilty to continue. It is a parents responsibilty to provide a safe and loving home. Then they will grow up to know what happiness is. Isn't that a much better cycle to live.
Wishing you much love and courage in your life and the clairity to live it.

Happiness2U, In a relationship happiness goes both ways, I think it's called interdependance, the other thing you're talking about would be independance. Thanks to the people who answered my question a very long time ago, many of you were very funny and cheered me up too!

there's an old adage..."always leave them wanting more"